rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole For Trying To Take My Daughter's Money?

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

r/AmITheA**hole When a mother gives birth to a child, is that mother entitled to all of that child's money? The mother who made the post for today's video certainly seems to think so! She argues that her successful daughter should give her money so that she can spend it on her other children, and then is confused when her daughter calls her out for acting like a butthole. What do you think? If you like this podcast and want to see more, follow my podcast for more daily Reddit content! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with fan-dual. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sports book. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario, Camlin Tom call 1865-312-600 or visit connectcentario.ca. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash and I the butthole? Am I the butthole for shouting at my ex in front of my daughters? I'm a 37-year-old male and I have three girls, eight, ten, and twelve. Their mother walked out on us for another

man when our youngest was around four. My ex still stays in contact though and pays child support. A few weeks ago while doing laundry, I saw red spots on my oldest underwear. I asked her if she knew about it and she cried and told me she tried to call her mom, but my ex didn't call back. She'd been stuffing toilet paper in her underwear, hoping that would work. I explained to her that periods are nothing to be ashamed of and found some great resources online for us to review together. I took her to the store to pick out brands of feminine products she wanted to use. After we were done, I decided I should do the same thing with my other two. My 12 year old volunteered to be a part of preparing

them, and we made a whole night of it. It was wonderful, and I learned a lot. I even learned what a menstrual cup is, and how they benefit the environment. The other day, my ex called back. I'll usually arrange a video chat and leave the room so they can have some alone time, and when they're done chatting, I'll come back into talk boring, co-parenting stuff like school, bills, etc. This last time, my ex was furious with me for talking about periods with the girls. She shouted at me that I was sick and perverted. Why didn't I call her myself if I knew it was so urgent? I could have called one of their grandmas our aunts, but my mom has dementia, while her mom and sisters called me a loser because I teach kindergarten, so I'm not fond of

them. My ex told me I was being immature and should have toughed it out for the girls. This really pissed me off, so I shouted back that maybe if she wasn't such a deadbeat and answered her freaking phone once in a while, she could have handled this. I brought up everything she does to hurt them. She hasn't been to a single soccer game, piano recital, or gymnastics meet in two years. Every other weekend when they come home from her house, they go straight to their rooms. Only to emerge hours later asked me why she loves her new husband more than them,

and what they did to make her leave. My ex responded by saying, I should tell them it's not their fault I couldn't satisfy her, and I screamed F you, and she just smirked and pointed behind me saying, look what you did! When I turned around, my eight-year-old and ten-year-old were standing in the doorway crying. It broke my heart. I never shall, so I know I scared them. My 12-year-old stormed in and started screaming at her mom. And while I appreciate her sticking up for me, this is not a battle I won her fighting.

My ex hung up before I could fully de-escalate the situation, and let's just say the girls have been given free reign of the ice cream and limeless hours of video games, because I feel so bad. I even watched all the Twilight movies with them, so don't say I don't love them, but in this instance, am I the butthole for shouting? No, OP, you are not the butthole here. You get zero out of five buttholes. You are being a butthole. You were just being a normal human who had a weak moment in front of, let's be honest, a really terrible ex.

Based on everything I read in this post, you sound like a great father. And have you considered the fact that maybe your girls were crying not because you were yelling, but because they saw their mom insulting someone that they care about. Am I the butthole for asking my daughter to contribute to her siblings college funds? I'm a 50 year old woman and I have three children, a 30 year old woman, a 17 year old boy, and a 16 year old girl. My oldest has a different father from the other two and was obviously fairly grown once her siblings were born.

I'll admit that during her teen years, my oldest took on a lot of babysitting duties in the house. I worked during the afternoons and evenings so she would pick up the babies from the daycare and watch them until I got home at night. This, unfortunately, has led to my daughter and I having somewhat of a strange relationship as she's become an adult. She told me that I used her as a second parent, and it caused a lot of stress and stunted her social life during adolescence.

I know that I made mistakes as a mother during that time. We were struggling financially and she always seemed eager to help with the babies, but I shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that. We've discussed it a lot in the years since, and though we still have problems between us, I like to think our relationship has made progress. Since graduating college, my daughter has become a financial consultant with an excellent salary. I'm incredibly proud of her and everything she's achieved. As someone who myself never attended college and who's lived near the poverty line my entire life, it's so rewarding to see my daughter move up in the world. As my younger two children have been approaching college, however,

I've been beginning to question how I'm possibly going to pay to put them through school. And all likelihood, they'll have to take out heavy student loans. I'd like to avoid this if it all possible. We all know how damaging student debt can be to young people. I approach my oldest and ask her whether she might be willing to contribute somewhat to her siblings tuition. I emphasize that she could absolutely say no, or we could discuss the possibility of us paying her back over a period of years. I said multiple times

that I was only asking because I wanted to consider all options, but if she wasn't comfortable with it, I would drop it and look for alternatives. My daughter became very upset with me. She said that it was entirely inappropriate for me to ask, and that the only reason I would ever consider asking is because I've always considered her a second parent rather than a child. She said that my asking her for this has shown her that I've never learned from my parenting mistakes when she was a teenager. But I really don't think it's the same thing. Like honestly, she's rich. She has the money. I don't think it's absurd that I might ask her if she's willing to do me a favor for

the sake of her siblings, especially since I made it very clear I wouldn't be angry or upset if she said no. Thoughts? O.P. Yes, definitely you are the butthole. When you said like honestly she's rich, she's had the money. That's basically the exact same attitude you had when she was a teenager. Like honestly, she's a teenager, she has the time.

Personally, I feel that one of the most important roles of a parent is to make sure that all of their kids feel equally loved. And to be honest with you OP, this is an area where you've definitely failed. So I'll give you 3 out of 5 buttholes because you definitely didn't learn from your previous mistake and your daughter has every right to be upset. Am I the butthole for walling off my backyard because I dislike two kids and depriving everyone else as a result? I sure feel like the butthole but I don't think I am so help me out here. I live in a non-English speaking European country and because of history that means land borders between properties are sometimes very weird. Well, that's the case with my house

and the neighbors. All of our houses are about the same size, yet out of all the land behind our houses, my area is huge. I own like 90% of all the land there, reaching all the way back to the woods far behind our houses. Meanwhile, each of my neighbors essentially has a tiny strip right behind their houses. Now, the part right behind my house is fenced off, yet the rest is pretty much open and my wife and daughters like to use it for gardening. The field is used by most of the neighborhood boys to play soccer on as it's the only flat piece of grassland around. They always ask for permission to use it beforehand, and I always allow it

on the condition that I get no complaints if I tell them to leave, and they don't let her. I also recently had a pool install to the far back of my property and fence it off. This is important later. Well, this is worthy issue starts. Recently a new family moved in, and they seem to think it's public land. I kept catching their kids running around through the flowers in vegetable garden, and they even moved their grill onto the field and held a picnic on MY land. I keep telling them off and informing them that it's MY land, but they just ignore me and the kids sometimes won't leave

when I tell them to. A month ago, the kids even climbed over the fence around the pool, and when I got them out and went to their parents, they just just said, oh we figured it was a public pool. I had hoped that was the end of it. Yet these people built a fire pit in the three days that I was away from the house. And when I got back I found it with a bunch of empty beer cans around. That was the last straw for me and I hired a company owned by a buddy of mine from when I used to do construction work, bought all the supplies, and seven days later and a lot of money later. My entire property was walled off, and whenever anyone asked, I told them why I was doing that and who they could think for it. Well, now the new family is treated as if they're a pest, and all the neighborhood kids are

Goddard that they lost their football field, which has resulted on them picking on the new neighbor's kids. I honestly feel pretty terrible, but I also feel like I gave them plenty of warnings before taking drastic actions. Nope OP, you get zero out of five blood holes. They were being disrespectful and trespassing, and when you set clear boundaries, they violated those, so I'd say your actions are 100% justified. Your property, your rules.

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Am I the butthole for telling a social worker the real reason my sister wants a foster kid? I'm a 28 year old female and I have a 36 year old sister. For the sake of the story, I'll just call her Jane. Jane is married to Bob and they have two kids, a boy and a girl. My niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all. They fight as siblings do, but nothing big. I love them. Now, for about two years, I did live with my sister. It was a miserable time that really affected our relationship. She saw me as free labor, money, and babysitting. Even when I managed to get a small part-time job, she demanded I hand over nearly half of

my pay or get out. It was torture as she took complete advantage of me. I moved out as soon as I could, and we had little contact outside of family gatherings. Now, after I moved out, she started complaining how she has no help with the kids and never gets a break. I babysit sometimes, but I've made it clear just because I'm off work. That doesn't mean I want an eight hour day with my niece and nephew. Anyway, she started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid. Not a kid, but a teenager. I pressed her for more info on this. She wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live-in babysitter for her kids. This is her logic.

I want a kid around 16 or 17. You know, someone who may have been in the system for a while. They can share a room with your nephew or sleep in the garage. They can help me with housework, chores, cook, and help me with my business. She bakes and sells cookies. Also, babies hit the kid so me and Bob can go out sometimes or have some time alone. They'll be so grateful for a home and won't complain. I won't have to pay them at all. And when they turn 18, I can just sign up for another foster kid. A teenager will be so much easier than a little kid. They'll be grateful just to have a roof, food,

and siblings if they've been separated from their real ones and clothes. I was horrified. I told her it was a horrible idea, but she didn't listen to me. She went on with it anyway. About a month ago, a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister. She had put me down as a character witness

or something like that. I immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when I lived with her. The lady thanked me. My sister called crying, saying that she wouldn't be considered for any adoptions or fosters. The social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren't a good fit. They asked if I said anything and I told the truth. She went off on me, hung up, and we haven't spoken since. She sent me some angry texts. A couple of family members are on her side.

They think foster kids are effing dogs or something and would be happy to just have a roof and would gladly do all the housework. So am I the butthole here? So you're asking if you're the butthole for putting a stop to the exploitation of free child labor? No, OP, you are not the butthole. Your sister on the other hand gets a full 5 out of 5 buttholes. She's treating abandoned children like essentially slave labor.

Am I the butthole for telling this college guy's mom that her coming into his interview caused him the job? I'm a hiring manager at a tech company and I was hiring for summer internships a little while ago. We had a guy about 19 years old applying for a summer internship between his freshman and sophomore years of college. It was a virtual interview over Zoom because of COVID. A minute or two in when I was introducing myself, his mom came in and introduced herself and started talking about her son's work ethic. I thought it was a little strange.

I said something polite about wanting to hear from him. She didn't get the hint and kept coming into camera frame during the interview and interrupting her son to answer questions for him. I asked a few technical questions which he seemed to answer well and then cut the interview fairly short. I thought that was all over and done with until I got an email from a woman a month later asking about her son's application. She seemed offended he hadn't gotten an acceptance or rejection. It bothered me. I felt bad for this kid honestly.

Way back when I was a teenager my mom used to pull the same stunts. But luckily she only did that when I was 15 and working for a day camp, not when I was an adult applying for engineering jobs. But I felt like this poor kid was getting his chances ruined because his mom wasn't giving him the chance to apply on his own. I sent an email back saying I wasn't at liberty to send information about an application to anybody but the applicant. I also asked H.R. to send an email to the kid saying sorry, but we were not making him an offer. It's something we usually do, but his rejection email must have slipped through the cracks

with all the COVID craziness. Anyway, after we've sent that, I got a phone call from his mom. She had afforded copy of the email and she was demanding answers. I said that I couldn't comment on the guy's performance in the interview to her as she was not the applicant. If he wanted to reach out to me, I was happy to give him some feedback. However, I could say that regardless of his performance, her presence in the interview took him out of consideration for the position. We were looking for an independent and self-driven person for the position, and for that reason, it's important

to see the applicant speak for themselves, follow up themselves, etc. I also said that as a piece of advice, every hiring manager I've met in my career who sees someone other than the applicant answering questions during an interview, following up on the applicants' behalf, etc. would also put their resume on the do not hire pile. Since, while the applicant may be skilled and motivated, they need the ability to demonstrate those traits themselves. She effing blew up at me over that, kind of cussing me out to the point where I hung up.

Am I the butthole for how I handled this? Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut way earlier. God no OP, you are not the butthole. And this has nothing to do with the mom's behavior. In my opinion, any hiring manager who actually bothers to communicate with applicants is automatically not the butthole. I would gladly hear a rejection email with something like, we didn't hire you because we don't like your face. I mean sure that would hurt my feelings, but that's still 10 times better than spending hours filling

out online forums only to have the company never bother to contact you again. OP, please don't let this woman turn you into another ghosting hiring manager. I'll take negative feedback over no feedback any day of the week. That was R-Slashamai The Butthole, and if you like this podcast, then follow me because I put out new Reddit podcasts every single day. Reddit Podcast every single day.