rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole I Reported My Mom For Stealing $43,000 From Me

Episode Date: June 11, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP discovers that his mother committed identity fraud and secretly took out a massive loan in his name. By the time he found out about it, the loan amount had grown to a massive $43,000! His mother hadn't been making any payments on it, so it just kept accruing interest and fees. Once OP finds out about it, his mom actually expects him to just suck it up and pay off the loan by himself as a favor to her. OP is thinking about reporting his mom to the authorities for effectively stealing from him. Would that make him the butthole? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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pay it off, or declare bankruptcy. I confront my mom and she begged me not to do it, and to just pay off the debts. I don't have anywhere near that money, so I decided to do what the lawyer recommended. The lawyer told me that filling out the police report is not the same as pressing charges, but I'm still scared about what might happen to her. We used to be very poor, and she used my social insurance to pay the bills and provide for me and my brother. This feels like I'm betraying her and her and my brother refused to speak to me.

My relatives have all stopped talking to me. Am I the butthole here? OP, your mother just straight up stole from a child. And not some trivial amount either. $43,000. That is a life changing, life destroying amount, either. $43,000. That is a life-changing, life-destroying amount of money. Going $43,000 into debt can easily set you back by like five years, at least.

So no, OP, if she wants to spend the money, she can pay off the debt. I can't believe that even after she got caught, she has the audacity to say that you have to pay it off. And then, after you have to pay it off. And then, after you refuse to let your mom steal from you, she turns your entire family against you. Also, she says that she spent the money on you and your brother.

Keyword says, you don't know what she spent the money on, and she already lied to you once by omitting the fact that she stole from you. So can you really trust her to tell you the truth about how she spent the money? No. OP, you get 0 out of 5 blood holes. Your mom gets 4 out of 5 blood holes. Man, down in an edit, OP clarifies that she didn't actually borrow 43,000. She originally borrowed 10 to 20,000, but over time it grew that large with interest and

fees. So if it weren't for OP's girlfriend accidentally finding out about your debt, then theoretically you still wouldn't know about this OP. What if that debt just kept growing and growing, and then by the time you're 30, it's like $100,000 of debt, and you find that out when you go try to buy your first house. I don't know, 4 out of 5 buttholes is feeling a little light on this one. I think I need to up to 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for pretending to not know my grandparents? Just for some background information, I'm a 19 year old girl, and when I was 4 years old,

my dad died. At his funeral, my dad's parents told me, my mom, and my sister, that we are the reason why he died. They also kept his life insurance money that was supposed to go to my sister and I. Since then, my grandparents have refused contact with all three of us, and the only form of contact I have with them is them sending me and my sister a $50 gift card to Walmart twice a year, on my birthday and on Christmas. The last time I received a gift card from them was on my 10th birthday and it was for babies are us. I haven't heard from them since. They live in Florida and I live in New York, so I have no chance of seeing them either, at least I thought.

Fast forward to three days ago, I was in Walmart near my house to get a few things for my mom. When I walked past the pharmacy, I saw my dad's parents. I tried to hide in the aisles because I didn't want confrontation, but they saw me anyway. They started asking me a bunch of questions about my family's financial situation in college and if I married yet, stuff like that. I responded by saying, I have no idea who you are. They looked angry and shocked by this, but they told me who they were. I told them that I had no desire to talk to them, and I didn't have anything to say to them anyway. I started walking away and was just going to leave it alone, but then they said, You are so disrespectful.

We are your grandparents, and you need to treat us better than that. Your mom did a terrible job with you. After that comment, I turned around and went off on them. I said, you are not my grandparents because you abandoned my sister and I after telling us that we're the reasons for our dad's death and you stole his money from us. Don't you dare talk about my mother either because she did an amazing job with us without any help from you too. I'd be happy with never seeing your sorry faces again.

I started to walk away again and I heard my grandmother start to cry, but I kept walking. Am I the butthole? They're technically my grandparents, but they did so many things that are unforgivable. Opie, you really kind of summed it up in that last line there. Should you forgive your grandparents for doing something unforgivable? No, because it was unforgivable. Like, the crazy thing is, it's not hard to earn a child's love. If they really wanted you to treat them like grandparents, then they should have acted like grandparents, not like strangers.

O.P., you get zero out of five buttles. I'm giving your grandparents f- Oh, excuse me, actually. I noticed during your post that you tried to refrain from calling them grandparents and instead call them your father's parents. I agree with you OP. I'm giving your father's parents 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for kicking my brother's fiance out of my car in her engagement night? My brother's engagement dinner was last night.

I do not like his fiance for several reasons. She's just mean and brutally honest with her comments about my life, always trying to belittle me every chance she gets. Like she belittles my degree in my living situation. I try to be civil, but I have a temper and sometimes I can be mean back. My wife recently passed away from breast cancer. We bought a car and it was the first decent car that I've ever owned and my wife and I didn't make a lot of money so it was a challenge to save up for it. My wife picked that car so I make sure to keep it maintained regularly. My brothers fiance made

comments about it calling it a piece of junk and it hurt because it was part of mine and my wife's past. When the party was over my brother didn't want to take an Uber. He wanted me to give them a ride, and I said okay. But his fiancee stood there saying that she wasn't going to ride in that piece of junk on her engagement night. I got really annoyed by that comment, and my mom, who was in the passenger seat, did too. My brother spent five minutes convincing her, and she finally got inside the car. But she didn't stop with her constant criticisms about how awful and dirty my car was, continuously calling it a piece of junk. My brother didn't say anything, so I made eye contact with her through the rearview mirror

and said that if she called my car a piece of junk one more time, she's out. I don't care if I drop her off in the middle of nowhere. My brother's fiance went quiet for a few minutes. Then she commented on the necklace that was hanging from the rearview mirror, calling it ugly, asking why it'd hang cheap, ugly stuff to make this piece of junk even uglier. I effing had it. That necklace belonged to my wife for Christ's sake. I got mad so I stopped the car and told her to shut the F up and get the F out.

My brother asked if I was serious while my mom was trying to get me to continue driving. I repeatedly told her to get out, but she didn't. So I got out, walked over and opened the door for her to step out. She started crying and my brother called me nuts for acting out like that. I told both of them to get out and they did. I drove off and my mom didn't stop yelling saying that I can't leave them on the street, they just got engaged. She told me to turn around and pick them up, but I screamed at her to stay the F out of

it or she'll join them. She told the family what I did, and my dad was pissed, saying that it was disgraceful to do this to my brother and his fiancee. And I should be ashamed of myself for making a scene on their engagement night. He said that I need serious help for my anger, and I should have just sucked it up until I got home. I just walked out of my dad mid-argument. I'm sure my brother doesn't want to see me for letting him down on such a special night in his life, but his fiance was being disrespectful. So was I the butthole? Opie, I feel like your brother has mad at you now, but I predict that in about two years or

so you're going to be having a beer with your brother and he's going to be like, man, and once I got married, she just turned into a total beward. How did I not see any of the signs? OP, you get a solid 0 out of 5 buttholes on this one, she was being extremely disrespectful, and she was being disrespectful while you were doing her a favor. She gets three out of five but holes, she brother gets two out of five but holes, and your parents get one out of five but holes. Honestly though, OP, as bad as this was for you, I mostly feel sorry for your brother. Can you imagine being married to someone who's this rude and disrespectful? Man, I can't even imagine having to beg my wife to do something.

In front of my parents and my brother, and she just refuses, and then when she finally does, she just criticizes it constantly. Oh my god, that's embarrassing and extremely disrespectful. OP, I really hope that your brother can see the light before it's too late. Hi, I'm Pete Davidson, and if you're like most people, you may be asking yourself, well, hey Pete, are you here to up my hydration game? And I'd be like, hey you, that's exactly right, with new smart water alkaline with antioxidant. And you'd be like, okay cool, but there's no way there's a higher pH, right?

And I'd be like, there actually is! And you'd be like, that's rad. I hope there's electrolytes for taste too. And I'd be like, you're not going to believe this. Elevate how you hydrate and keep it smart with smart water alkaline. Ah. At Salesforce, we're all about asking more of AI. Questions like, where's the data going? Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVi.com Am I the butthole for calling my husband delusional for expecting me to rehire the babysitter

after she read our daughter's journal? My husband and I work long shifts. We have three kids, and for years we've been hiring babysitters of different kinds to help the kids. My oldest child is my 14 year old daughter, Lauren. She's been going through a rough phase after her best friend passed away from leukemia in December.

It hugely impacted her. She received therapy for two months and is doing better now, but grief has no timeline and she misses her besties so much. I do all I can to be available and Linda comforting shoulder. We got her a new journal to write down her thoughts and feelings and she's been doing a lot better since she had it. We were looking for a babysitter and my husband suggested his friend 17-year-old daughter. I knew her so I said yes right away. She worked for us for a few weeks and she would sometimes tease

Lauren about her being uptight, never smiling, and giving her the nickname Grinch. I told her to stop it, but she said that she was just messing with her trying to get her to cheer up. No biggie. Days ago while I was working, Lauren called me and was crying, saying that I needed to come home. I freaked out, and when I got there, I saw the babysitter sitting with the kids, and Lauren was upstairs.

She said the babysitter took her journal and started reading it out loud in front of the kids while recording herself. I was extremely pissed off. I asked the babysitter and she said that she was just messing with Lauren and showing her that it was okay to speak emotions out loud instead of bottling them up. She really thought that she was helping Lauren overcome her fear of expressing herself. I yelled at her saying that this wasn't her place and that she caused more trouble than ever. She apologized and swore that she deleted the video, but I told her that she could no longer

work for us and she had to leave. She broke down crying and apologizing to me in Lauren, but I refused to let her keep her job. And I know that Lauren doesn't want her to be around anymore. My husband came home, and he was upset that I fired the babysitter, reminding me that this was his friend's daughter, and I shouldn't have fired her. He argued that I handled this the wrong way, and that I should have been the adult in the situation instead of yelling and kicking her out.

I explained what she did to Lauren, but he said, I agree with you on this. She should have known better, but she didn't. Kids her age make mistakes, what's done is done, she's apologized, so we should give her another chance. He kept going on about how this impacted his friendship of 14 years. Also we're now without a babysitter, and he has a trip this week, so I have no choice but to let her come back. But I said no, she will never step foot in this house again.

He called me unreasonable as if I'm acting like I get to decide everything and that he doesn't get to have an opinion. He said this is his house too. I ended up calling him delusional for expecting me to rehire her after the stunt she pulled on Lauren. And I will not let that happen because my daughter has to feel comfortable in her own home. He got very upset for what I said and has stopped speaking to me. Am I the butthole? Alright, okay, let's tackle the babysitter first. What that babysitter did was a major violation of trust.

Just at its basic level, reading someone else's diary is extremely rude. Reading a child's diary in front of other people while recording it is extra bad. Not only did you fundamentally disrespect you, Lauren, and your household, but also, like you said, OP, your daughter has a right to feel comfortable in her own home. How is Lauren ever supposed to feel comfortable or safe in her own home again when this person is watching over her? I'm giving the babysitter 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Now OP, let's move on to your husband. Your husband got upset that this impacted his friendship of 14 years? Well, what about his

daughter of 14 years? Shouldn't she take precedence over some friend? I'm going to be straight with you OP. Your husband is not being a father in this moment. What kind of father chooses his friend over his victimized daughter? And then he has the nerve to come at you OP and get mad at you because he didn't get to have a say in this decision? I mean, yeah, don't get me wrong. Marriage is about compromise and couples should make decisions together. But some things just aren't about compromise.

Sometimes you set hard deal breakers and the other person just can't compromise with you. If one spouse wants to cheat and the other spouse doesn't want to cheat, then you don't compromise by saying, well, sometimes I get to cheat. No, that is a clear cut and dry deal breaker and there is no compromise to be had. You've got a similar situation here, OP. This babysitter has violated both your and your daughter's trust in a way that you can't get over, so you're setting a clear boundary. And your husband expects you to just compromise. Actually, it's not even compromise. He expects you to just accept the apology and hire your back, so it's

not a compromise. It's him getting his way 100%. Look, I don't even know why I'm arguing about this. At the end of the day, this is very simple. Your husband chose one of his friends over his own flesh and blood daughter, and that's just not what a man does. I'm giving your husband 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for leaving a family gathering and insisting my mother-in-law apologize over him and him? I'm a 34-year-old woman, and my 31-year-old wife and I have two wonderful kids. Four-year-old twins of boy and a girl. They were conceived with my wife's eggs, unknown sperm donor, and I carried in birth them. Both kids practically ended up being clones of my wife, so it's pretty clear to everyone you contribute to the genetic material. My in-laws had everyone together at their house earlier this month, were all vaccinated,

and the weather was nice so we had a barbecue. My kids were outside playing with their cousins, so I was chatting in the kitchen with my sister and law and mother-in-law. At one point, my two kids run inside from playing and ask if they can have some immanom st.c. on the counter. I tell them, no, we're going to be eating in 15 minutes, you can have them after dinner. They run back outside, and my mother-in-law excuses herself to go outside. A little later, we get the call that food is ready, so we go outside, and I see my kids each have a little cup full of M&Ms that they're eating. I tell my kids that they knew they weren't supposed to be eating those,

and I took away the cups. My mother-in-law came over and said that she gave them the immanims and they can have them. To which I replied, no, they can't, it's dinner time. You were there when I told them no." My mother-in-law said. They can have some chocolate, it's fine. And she tried to take the cups from my hands. We go back and forth with no yes, no for a minute, which prompted my wife to start walking over to us. Just in time to hear my mother-in-law say in front of the kids. I'm saying it's okay, they aren't even YOUR kids. They're your wife, so just give them the chocolate." My wife said, Absolutely not, we're leaving.

I put the ammonims on the nearest table, grabbed both of my kids, who were now softly crying, and started to pack our stuff. The whole event erupted in chaos with my father-in-law screaming about the disrespect of us leaving. The grandmother crying, my wife siblings arguing with her father and my mother-in-law crying that her only daughter is a panting me. It was a mess. After a couple of hours at home, the kids seemed okay, but my mother-in-law saying that I'm not their mom really scared them.

My wife's been about four hours on rotating phone calls with all of her family. From her father screaming at her to her mother crying over how we took her grandkids away over M&Ms, and made her out to be a bad grandma. Her brother trying to get in the drama and her grandmother depressed saying that she would die without seeing her great-grandkids again. My wife's message to all of them was that her mother needed to apologize to me and our kids for what she said. We made it clear that we would have no problem spending time with my wife's grandma and

my brother-in-law's family, but we wouldn't bring the kids around the mother-in-law until she apologized. As you can guess, the apology hasn't happened, but the phone calls of guilt trips, yelling, and crying haven't let up. I feel like an apology isn't even a big deal, and at this point, my mother-in-law is making the choice to not see your grandkids. I want to hold firm, but I know how hard this is on my wife, even if I really don't think that it's my fault. Am I the butthole for insisting on an apology? Alright, so the father from the last story, the guy who got upset because his friend's daughter, the babysitter, got fired, he should pay close attention to OP spouse in this story because

that's how a real parent, how a real partner acts in situations like these. I just gotta say Kudos OP, your wife sounds wonderful. Her own mother insulted her wife's authority and then insulted her and she immediately had your back. So just made your Kudos to her, she did exactly what she should have done that situation. OP, I'm with you on this one. What your mother-in-law did was awful and you absolutely 100% should insist on getting an apology from your mother-in-law. She completely disrespected your marriage, your parenthood, and your entire family.

And on top of that, she undermined your authority as a parent. If you don't stand firm in waiting for an apology, then you can expect your mother-in-law to never respect your wishes as a parent for the rest of your life. And like so, what if she doesn't, she's being super toxic. She's literally choosing her own pride over her grandkids. If I had a grand kid, and my daughter-in-law got upset at me over something I did, and my daughter-in-law said, you can never ever see your grandkids again and tell you apologize. I don't care what it is. I will, a pilot, I'll make a YouTube video about how very, very sorry I am, and publish it to my millions of subscribers and say, look everyone I'm wrong, I'm bad, I'm the bad person,

I'm the bad guy, I'm very, very sorry, please let me see my grandkids again because they're my grandkids. But she's gonna be like, no, I'd rather be right than see my daughter, see my daughter and my grandkids, it's not just the grandkids because the daughter is not in the situation either. Man, imagine having such a huge ego that you're literally willing to cut your daughter and your grandkids out of your life

just because you don't wanna say, I'm sorry, like what's the big deal, man? Stop being a toxic little turd mother-in-law and just apologize. Hope you could zero out of five buttles. Your wife gets like negative buttles. She 8 you could 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your wife gets like negative buttholes. She gets like negative 2 out of 5 buttholes because she exhibited absolutely perfect behavior.

There is nothing she could have done better than what she already did. Your mother-in-law gets 4 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you like this content you can subscribe to my podcast to unlock extra episodes. For 499 a month, you'll be directly supporting my podcast and getting bonus episodes that get demonetized, so I can't publish them on YouTube.