rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Baby "Assaulted" a Woman!

Episode Date: October 8, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP takes her one-year-old child to work for a "take your kid to work" day. Her pregnant coworker also shows up. OP's child, being a young kid, looks up the pregnant coworker's dress. The coworker absolutely loses her mind and says that OP's literal baby was mean to  her, and that this is how predators are made. Lady, WHAT? He's literally 1-and-a-half years old. He's not attacking you, he's just a curious kid. Are you actually that insane? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where we read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today, subreddit is R-Slash and my The Butthole, where a woman claims that she was sexually abused by a baby. Am I The Butthole for telling my insane coworker that she was not victimized by a literal baby? I'm a 28 year old woman, and I work with another woman who's 33 and is extremely pregnant at the moment. She's on maternity leave and is taking time off right now, but she's very dedicated to keeping our entire office keyed into every little detail of her pregnancy. She spams her alter-assounds and updates the baby bump pictures to the office group chat constantly. She's also already had the baby shower and is still requesting more stuff for the baby from us. She treats her unborn baby like it's a child, playing Mozart and playing a math podcast

to it so it'll come out with a higher IQ. That's why I wasn't surprised when she showed up at the office for bringing her kids to work day to make it about her pregnancy. Even though her kid has yet to be born, she started showing all the other children her pregnant belly and telling them about it. My other coworker brought her baby to who's a one and a half year old boy. My pregnant coworker approached the boy and told him there was a baby inside of her pointing to her stomach.

She was wearing a dress. The boy misunderstood her since he's a literal baby and tried to look up her dress to see it. My coworker was shocked and screamed at him and startled him, causing him to start crying and shrieking into running for his mom. The mom was furious and started yelling at my pregnant coworker that she's a lunatic and asking,

why is she even here since her kid wasn't born yet? What? My pregnant coworker started screaming back that that's how predators start out and that she's the victim and the baby needs to be controlled. She turned to me for backup and I told her she's insane thinking she's been victimized by a literal baby. She yelled at me that it's no excuse and I'm enabling. Both of my co-workers were asked to leave by security. I'm pretty sure her reaction to a baby looking up her dress to find her baby was insane, but maybe I'm losing it.

Am I the butthole? You know I'm glad you brought this up Opie because I have a newborn baby who's a few months old, and just the other day I was holding her above me and my baby drooled onto me, and I know that in some jurisdictions, spitting on someone is considered a soul, so I was wondering, should I press charges against her? I mean, she spit on me without my permission, baby or not, that's a crime. Opie, this post... This is so ridiculous that, well, I'm glad you shared it, of course, but I don't even know why this warrants a reddit post in the first place.

This woman is saying that a one and a half year old boy is a predator because he looked under a, like, what? What? OP, your coworker is not here than a squirrel's turd. And if she thinks that's problematic, then she's going to have a really rough time as a parent. Am I the butthole for refusing to make an exception for my brother's son to attend my child-free wedding, just because he's a rainbow baby?

I'm a 33 year old-old woman and I'm getting married in October to my fiance, Derek. Wedding planning went okay, but as soon as we started sending out invitations, the problems started coming our way. The thing is, Derek and I decided that our wedding would be child-free. I have a 42-year-old brother, Paul, who's married, but he and his wife suffered from several miscarriages and failed pregnancies during their marriage. They finally were blessed with a son that everyone calls a miracle and a rainbow baby. And for those who don't know, I'd actually never heard this term rainbow baby before,

so I had to look it up. And a rainbow baby is what you call a baby who's born after a couple of sufferers like miscarriages or stillbursts or if they have a death in the early infancy. The baby that comes after those events is called a rainbow baby. My nephew is 4 years old and everyone salutes him and treats him like a king. And they also turn a blind eye to any misbehavior he has which has caused him to become loud, destructive, out of control, and immune to punishment.

When my brother Paul received the invitation and found out that kids weren't included, he and my mom lost it and decided on an urgent meeting with me and Derek. Paul said, My son is an exception, right? I said no, this rule applies to everyone. He argued I was making a mistake by excluding my nephew. He and my mom went on and on about how my nephew's a miracle since he's their rainbow baby, slash rainbow grandbaby.

Then Paul said that he had no problem with my wedding being child-free, but he expects me to make an exception for his son. He explicitly said, you can have your child-free wedding, but you can have to make an exception for my son, and you know why. Derek apologized, but said that we won't do that, since our friends and my in-laws all had kids too. Paul was offended and said that if his son isn't invited, then he won't come either. This has caused my family to freak out because Paul is my only and oldest sibling, and they said that his presence at the wedding is a must.

I had an argument with my mom and dad, who said the fact that I'm choosing this to be my hill to die on, and treating Paul in my nephew like that was a PALLING. They emphasized how my nephew is special, and I should be ashamed to exclude him even though my wedding is child-free. My parents said that if Paul doesn't come to my wedding, then they won't either, which has devastated me and caused me to break down. Derek said that they're the ones being unreasonable and disrespectful of our wedding. He said we should wait because maybe they'll come around eventually, but they've doubled

down. This morning my aunt and uncle dropped out as well as my other uncle last week. Paul told everyone, and they're supporting him, and they won't come unless I make an exception for my nephew. But that will upset all my other guests and they'll call me a hypocrite. My family is divided, saying that I'm ruining my own wedding because this is all on me. Okay, OP, the story is really, really strange. Like, I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around it because I can't figure out why your family is so deeply invested in your nephew coming. Like, okay, he's a rainbow baby. So, it's not your nephew's wedding, it's not your brother's wedding, it's your wedding, so it's your rules, and why are they

so invested in this? I have to want, like, the fact that these people care so much about this makes me think that I'm missing some information here and I have to wonder if this story is taking place in some society where the culture is super super super patriarchal because your brother is your older brother which means he's the first born son and he had a first born son and I mean that kind of explains why people would think that way and the fact that everyone is taking your brother's side instead of your side makes me think that maybe they're doing that because, you know, your brother's the man who's carrying on the family name and you're the woman and like, I don't know, I'm kind of stretching here. I totally understand that this is a huge stretch that I'm making. But I just can't figure out why else they would care this much, like what's the point?

In any event OP, you get a rock solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your brother and every member of your family gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. I don't know where they all get off saying that you're the one dying on this hill because your brother is the one dying on this hill. This is, I don't know, this is weird. I feel like in a lot of stories, I can understand the mentality of the butthole in the story, and usually the answer is just, they're a jerk. They're a selfish, entitled jerk. But this story, the level of entitlement doesn't even make sense.

Why would you even want a four-year-old at a wedding? I mean, sure, it's nice, but like, four-year-olds aren't going to enjoy it, wedding suck. I remember going to weddings as a kid, it wasn't fun. Well, in an event OP, I'm really looking forward to reading stories about your brother and your nephew on our slash entitled Parents. Am I the butthole for deleting my friends wedding photos in front of them? I'm not really a photographer, I'm a dog groomer. I take lots of photos of dogs all day to put on my Facebook and Instagram. It's my thing, if that makes sense. I give a haircut in a photo with every appointment.

I very seldom take pictures of things other than dogs, even if I do have a nice setup. A friend of mine got married a few days ago, and since they wanted to save money, they asked me if I'd shoot for them. I told him that weddings aren't really my forte, but he convinced me by saying that he didn't really care if they were perfect. They were on a shoe-strain budget, and I agreed to shoot it for $250, which is nothing for a 10-hour event. On the day of, I'm driving around following the bride as she goes from appointment to appointment before the ceremony, taking photos along the way. I shoot the ceremony itself, and during the reception, I'm shooting speeches and people mingling. I started around 11 a.m. and I was due to finish around 7.30 p.m. Around 5 p.m. food was being served, and I was told that I couldn't stop to eat because I have

to be a photographer. In fact, they didn't even save me a spot at any table. I'm getting tired, and at this point, I'm kind of regretting doing this for next to nothing. It's also unbelievably hot. The venue is in an old Veterans Legion and it's like 110 degrees Fahrenheit and there's no AC. I told the groom that I need a 20 minute break to get something to eat and drink. There's no open bar or anything. I can't even get water and my two water bottles are long empty. He tells me that I need to either be a photographer or leave without pay. Between the

heat, being hungry, and being generally annoyed at the circumstances, I asked if he was sure, and he said yes. So, I deleted all the photos that I took in front of him and took off, saying that I'm not as photographer anymore. If he had given me 250 bucks, then honestly, at that point, I would have paid 250 just for a glass of cold water and somewhere to sit for 5 minutes. Was I the butthole? They went right to their honeymoon and they've been off of social media, but a lot of people have been posting on their wall asking about photos with zero responses. Okay, so you can look at this as OP working as a friend or you can look at this as OP working

as a professional. The professional one is at this as OP working as a professional. The professional one is easy, let's tackle that one first. You can't make someone work for like 8 or 10 hours non-stop and then not let them eat food or water in 110 degrees heat. Also the groom literally gave OP a chance to void their agreement, and OP took them up on that offer so that seems pretty straightforward. But we can also evaluate the situation as like a friend doing a favor for another friend. The way that they treated you is not the way that they should treat a friend.

Like, why would they not even give you a seat at one of the tables? That's extremely rude and disrespectful. It's okay to stop taking photos long enough to eat dinner, I mean you're not going to miss that much. But no, these people expected their friend to just work for 10 hours for extremely low pay and they didn't feed you or let you take breaks or let you have water. So yeah, they were being very disrespectful and rude to their friends, so I don't blame you for walking out. So OP, I think you're completely justified, they were being extremely rude here and extremely unprofessional.

So between them treating you so badly and then literally telling you that you can quit, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm gonna give your friends two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for greatly increasing my husband's chores and dismissing his complaints after he called me a homemaker? For work, I own my own business and my husband John works in a movie theater. Before I started my company we both had a similar income but now I earn almost 5 times as much as he does. The chore dynamic in our home has always been heavily skewed. I'm

a very neat person and I like cooking so I handled the lion share of chores on top of my job. After my company started growing, John invests himself more in chores because he was staying at home due to movie theaters being closed. His workplace reopened a few months ago and he immediately stopped doing most chores. I've been lenient and doing more than my share of chores since he comes home every day exhausted and complaining. After work, he does nothing but leisure, totally overlooking the fact that I manage our household on top of running my company. I'm kind of a doormat sometimes, so I let it go because I want to be kind to John.

Last weekend, my husband crossed a line. I work seven days a week while John has weekends off, and he wishes playing video games all day while I was working. Then my husband came up to me to ask me when lunch would be ready. I told him that I'm very busy with work, and can he cook just as once? He declined, then complained that it was so much easier in his grandfathers' time when the homemaker didn't do anything other than her duties. I exploded!

We had the biggest screaming match in our lives, with him calling himself the breadwinner of the household, repeatedly hiding behind the claim that he goes out to work. As opposed to me, who works from home, which I guess means I'm a housewife, I steamrolled his claims by pointing out that I earned much more money than him, I work longer hours, and I still do all the chores. I told him to quit his job and dedicate all of his time to chores since he's so enamored with the simpler times of homemakers and breadwinners. Even if he were unemployed, our financial situation wouldn't change. He acted appalled.

On Monday, I gave him a list of chores to do. It was about two to three hours of chores daily. He constantly complains, and I just replied with, quit your job. I spent years doing all these chores on top of my job, but he whined at the prospect of doing just half of those chores. Tuesday night, he told me that he refused to do the chores, and I couldn't force him. I shouted him down into submission, telling him that I spent our entire life picking up the ball that he keeps dropping,

and that his choice to work an unskilled job for pocket chain doesn't preclude him from helping me, the breadwinner keep the household in shape. Yesterday, I locked up his PlayStation 5 and are safe, and I changed the combination. This is not in my nature. I'm usually polite and soft-spoken, and I feel like a butthole when I see him looking like a sad puppy and whining that he's tired. But I just snapped. If I let John do nothing and consider himself their breadwinner who deserves to come home to a clean house and warm meal through no effort of his own,

I would lock myself into a life of servitude. Am I the butthole here? Alright Opie, what we've got here is a good old fashioned case of sexism. He's the man and you're the woman, that means you belong in the kitchen cooking him meals, barefoot and pregnant. As the man, he's responsible for the financial decisions, he controls the money and he gets to decide what you do with your life. Woman, look, I got nothing against relationships where the guy goes out and makes money and the girl stays home and raises kids or takes care of the house or whatever. But this is not that situation. In your case OP your husband is I'll be honest kind of a loser. He

doesn't make money, he doesn't help around the household and basically all he does is wine and play video games and he still thinks that he wears the pants in the relationship. It's kind of sad OP because I think that if he quit his job and stayed home and just cleaned the house or whatever, then he'd probably be much happier. I mean, sure, doing the laundry sucks, doing the dishes sucks, and like sweeping the floor, these are all really tedious boring chores.

But is doing all of that stuff worse than a job that he clearly hates anyways? You said he comes home every day complaining and exhausted, so what is he holding on to? My guess is that the main reason why he goes to work is that this allows him to maintain his fantasy that he wears the pants and hear this submissive stay-at-home wife. Fundamentally OP, you're being an awesome wife, like a really awesome wife. You bring in those fat stacks, you do the chores, you support your husband, like you seem like an amazing person to be honest with you, and it's a shame that your husband can't see that. Opie, this is an easy zero out of five buttholes. John

gets three out of five buttholes. I will say though that you shouting him down and locking away the PlayStation isn't exactly butthole behavior, but you're definitely treating your husband like a child. Now don't get me but you're definitely treating your husband like a child. Now, don't get me wrong. He deserves to be treated like a child because he's acting like a child, but that dynamic isn't a very healthy way to maintain a relationship.

So if you wanna work through this, then you need to not treat him like a kid. You need to treat him like an adult, sit him down, explain things peacefully, logically, work on the problem together and not devolve into a shouting match. I'm not saying the shouting match is your fault because clearly he's shouting too.

I'm just saying, I feel like you guys can work this out because for a while it was worked out, right? While COVID was going on and while the theaters were shut down, he was home. He was presumably playing video games and taking care of the house. He said he did more chores and things were fine, right? So just go back to where you were before when everyone was happy instead of this weird sexist 1950s housewife mentality that I don't really understand anymore in 2021. That was our slash.

Am I the butthole? And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day. content be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day.