rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Mom Installed a Hidden Camera in my Bedroom!

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OPs extended family installs a hidden camera in her bedroom? Am I the butthole for banning my mother-in-law from the house after I discovered that she installed a camera in the bedroom? My husband, who's 33, got into a car accident almost a month ago. He's been bed ridden due to a back injury and I've been his primary caregiver. The pressure has been too much for my mother-in-law. She keeps telling me to take care of him and to be there for him constantly. She begged me to take time off work, which I did, and she asked me to send her hourly updates about his conditions for the first two weeks. But when I didn't, she got mad and caused issues. She visits

every day, but doesn't do anything to help. Alternatively, she would just list all the things that I should or shouldn't do. The family keeps telling me that she's just worried sick about her son, so I tried to stay calm. Days ago, she called to berate me about not replacing the bid sheets quickly. I had no idea how she found out about this since my husband didn't call her. My sister-in-law called me to tell me that my mother-in-law had installed a camera in the bedroom to see if I was taking proper care of her son. I was stunned! After searching the room, I found the camera, and I called my mother-in-law and had a huge fight with

her. She admitted it and said that she was just feeling concerned and wanted to make sure that her son was being cared for, despite him calling her every day. I yelled at her that she is no longer allowed into my home after this. She lost it and went on this rant about how I'm stopping her from seeing her son and that not seeing him will literally make herself sick. The family called me later to get me to back out of this decision, but I told him that she breached my privacy and took advantage of the situation.

They said that I'm taking it too personally and that I can't blame a concerned mother for wanting to make sure that her son is fine, especially since she listed things that she thought that I was doing wrong. I handed the conversation, but my husband is upset telling me that I'm being vindictive, and that if his mom can't come, then he'll move there with her. We argued, and then I went outside, and he's been silent ever since. Am I the butthole? Uh, no.

No, OP. This is um, this is really messed up. This is really messed up. I mean, yeah, your mother-in-law will be able to watch you taking care of her son. But theoretically, also, she would watch you guys passionately hugging or doing whatever else you guys do in the bedroom. And like, on top of all this, it's straight up illegal. You can't just install hidden cameras in someone else's house and expect that to be okay, even if you are a family. That has to be illegal, 100% it has to be illegal. Because I know that states in America

are either one party consent or two party consent, which means that either one party knows that they're being recorded or both parties know that they're being recorded, but in this case, neither party knows that they're being recorded or both parties know that they're being recorded, but in this case, neither party knows that they're being recorded. Neither you nor your husband. So yeah, this has to be illegal. Plus just weird, a gross invasion of privacy, really controlling and manipulative, and I can't even understand why your husband's family is so invested in like protecting this behavior? Look OP, I hate to say it, but if your husband is so interested in going home to his mommy,

then I say let him. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your mother-in-law gets 4 out of 5 buttholes. Your husband and the rest of his family get 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for demanding my girlfriend to change her dress for a wedding? This happened during this weekend. I'm in my early 30s and my girlfriend to change her dress for a wedding? This happened during this weekend. I'm in my early 30s and my girlfriend is in her late 20s. I was invited to a wedding ceremony of a colleague and I could bring someone with me.

I asked my girlfriend to have been dating for a year if she would like to join me and she was really happy because she apparently loves weddings. Since we don't live together, I drove to pick her up so we'd have some spare time before the ceremony. As she comes out, she looks really beautiful, and has obviously put in time to fix her hair and makeup. She's also wearing an off-white dress that was rather ornate. As she got in the car, I told her that she looks stunning, but I asked if she could change into a different color dress for the ceremony. I'm not one for etiquette by far, but one of the few things I've heard everywhere is that you should never wear a white dress to a wedding unless you're the bride. She became pretty upset

and wanted to know what was wrong with her dress. I said that it would be inappropriate to wear a white or off-white dress unless you're the bride, and that it's like a wedding law or something, trying to be lighthearted about it. She rolled her eyes and said that it was an outdated tradition about women and virginity, and that when her friends got married, everyone were white, and that it's not a big thing anymore. I told her that I don't know what the dress code is for the ceremony, but since the invitation doesn't say all white clothes, I still thought that she should change to a different color. Because it was my colleague who was getting married and we had no idea how she felt about this.

My girlfriend became really upset and told me that I was trying to control what she was wearing and that I was abusive. Which honestly made me really upset and hurt. I said something along the lines of, well well you shouldn't go to a wedding with an abuser then, and told her to get the f out of my car. She began to cry and wanted to apologize and give me a hug, but I just told her to get out what she did. I drove off and she called and texted me a bunch. I answered, I don't want to talk right now, and then turned off my phone and attended the ceremony. The bride was the only one that was wearing white, so I feel as if my gut feeling was the right one.

When I got home, my phone had blown up by text from her and her friends saying that I was being inconsiderate and controlling and I should apologize for my behavior. I've vented to a few friends. Most of them agreeing with me, but some have said that it was a butthole thing to tell her that she couldn't wear the dress because it had nothing to do with me. I feel as if I was in the right since it was my colleague's wedding and it was better to be safe than sorry, but I'm also not sure if I was being a butthole about the situation. So, Reddit, am I the butthole? Okay, so when your friends are saying that it's not like your problem, it's your

girlfriend's decision, that's not really your problem, it's your girlfriend's decision, that's not really true though, because you were the one invited to the wedding and you got a plus one. So anyone that you bring to the wedding is someone that like the bride and the groom don't know, which means you're pretty much responsible for that person. And if you bring someone who wears white to a wedding,

like the reality of the situation is yes, that is very much a tradition, that is very much a tradition, that is very much an expectation. And it is a huge social faux pas for a woman to wear white when she's not the bride at the wedding. Like, real talk, if a woman had worn white to my wedding with my wife,

then I would have like straight up asked her to leave. It's super rude and disrespectful to the bride. So I think you had every right to ask her to change. There is no way that I would bring a date wearing white to a wedding. And I mean, I get that she doesn't understand that tradition and that her friends don't abide by that tradition either, but that doesn't matter because most people

do abide by that tradition. Opie, you get a pretty easy zero out of five but holes here. The fact that your girlfriend tried to turn this around on you and called you abusive for calling out her really, honestly, attention-seeking behavior makes her the but hole. I'm giving her three out of five but holes. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey. I don't know about you, but I do literally 100% of my shopping online. Because of COVID, I pretty much have to shop online because yeah, I don't wanna catch COVID and die. But on top of that, I read stories for a living.

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after discovering that my wife deleted my daughter's novel? I've been married to my wife, Hannah, who's 36 for two years. She and my daughter, Morgan, who's 16, don't have a mother-daughter relationship. To be completely transparent here, they both fight often and just don't get along. Morgan used to spend most of her time at her moms, but now is staying with us for school. I remember Hannah telling me about a novel that Morgan's been writing on her laptop. She admitted to sneaking and looking at it without Morgan's knowledge, but she praised her writing style and storytelling, so I thought that was a positive thing. Yesterday I got back home and found Morgan and her mom yelling at Hannah.

I asked what was happening, and Morgan told me that Hannah deleted her novel. Hannah said that Morgan created a character in the novel using her description in name and making her the villain. Not only that, but she wrote bad words about her. Morgan argued that it was just a character, and Hannah had no business snooping on her laptop to begin with. My wife Hannah broke down crying. After my ex, Morgan's mom threatened her. I just watched the three of them fight and did nothing, nor said a single word. I stepped out for a minute to get fresh air. And moments later, Hannah unloaded on me about how I should have defended her in the argument

instead of acting so cowardly. Morgan and her mom also said that I should have done something when Hannah decided to snoop, then delete months worth of Morgan's work. It just became too much with the three of them berating me and yelling in my face. Morgan went home with her mom and she was crying and refused to speak to me, and Hannah checked into a hotel, also refused to speak to me and Hannah checked into a hotel, also refusing to speak to me. The text messages from both sides kept coming in, both telling me that I should have done something and I should have taken their side in the argument. I just had to stay out of this one. I was on my feet the entire week working, both my mental and physical

health are down the drain and I am tired of them fighting all the time, then blaming me for my actions or lack thereof. Both of them are expecting me to get involved and do something to fix this, but I haven't done anything yet. Am I the butthole for not getting involved? Opie, like, okay. I try to be really balanced in my responses, but I'm going to be a little bit personal here. You're a pussy, you're a complete pussy. I have very, very little respect for men who are just cowards, who just do nothing, who

just watch the world pass them by, and they're too afraid to speak out or take a side or do anything, and they're just passive losers, to be honest. A huge conflict has broken out in your family between your wife, the love of your life, presumably, and your daughter, your own flesh and blood, and your response is, well, not my problem, I'm going to get some fresh air. They should be mad at you, all three of them, regardless of who's right or wrong in the situation. The fact that you just tucked your tail in between your legs and ran away is pathetic. And your excuse is, you were on your feet for the whole week. So? But, oh, my feet hurt because I was working a lot, so I don't have to be a father or a husband or a good person because my feet hurts. I don't know if I'm coming off too harsh here, I just think that these types of people

are honestly pathetic. Boohoo, boohoo, my feet, I was standing a lot. Sorry daughter, not my problem, sorry wife, not my problem. So clearly I think everyone can agree that the daughter is completely safe here. She did nothing wrong, she was basically just writing in her diary. Your wife, on the other hand, based on this story, seems to be terrorizing this poor girl. She's spying on her in secret, and then deleting her creative works. That's super cruel.

But most importantly here, OP, you're the butthole. You're the butthole for letting your wife bully your daughter. You're also the butthole for doing nothing during this argument. But more than that, you're the butthole for letting nothing during this argument, but more than that, you're the butthole for letting this even get this bad in the first place. You could have addressed this issue when your wife told you that she was spying on your daughter, but of course, you did nothing because you're a do nothing man, and your wife and daughter have been fighting for by the sound of it years and you just let it happen, you

just let that hatred fester. I have much, much more respect for someone who tries to do something and fails or messes up and even makes it worse than someone who just sits there and does nothing. I know, okay, I'm being really, really harsh here OP, but the reality is, I don't think based on this post that it's too late for your relationship with your daughter. I mean, yeah, deleting the book is pretty bad, but I don't think we've crossed over into the territory of like unforgivable damage. So if you really like buckle down and start building your relationship with your daughter and mending the spread between your wife and your daughter, then maybe, maybe you can salvage

your relationship with your daughter. But if you keep passively doing nothing, then I think it's pretty much inevitable that you're going to lose your daughter. Remember OP, in the words of Rush, if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. And when you don't take anyone's side, even though you think you're being neutral, the message that you're actually sending is, I don't care about any of you. Am I the butthole for calling my brother a sore, slow loser? My wife Irene is very fit.

She likes working out and has a proper exercise regimen. She believes that if she feels good, she looks good, and she feels good working out. So who am I to stop her? My brother will spend the latter half of last year going through a messy divorce and now needs a place to stay. Even though my brother and I aren't very close, I figured he would only stay with us for a couple of weeks until he got back on his feet. Will is a typical gemrat. He's always on a very strict diet, always working out and bragging about his gains. I've worked out with him a few times and he's a little obnoxious. He's always mad at you if you don't work out at his pace and he's always trying to correct

your form. He's a pretty fit and muscular guy, but I don't like to exercise with him. Will has been pushing Irene to work out with him because, according to him, she won't be able to keep up with me. Irene mostly just shrugs him off with the laugh and tells him that she would love to work out with me. Irene mostly just shrugs him off with a laugh and tells him that she would love to work out with him. Irene works out in the mornings three times a week and then does a run in the evening, but she's been busy this past week

and hasn't been able to stick to her usual schedule. Will thinks that she's making excuses because she doesn't wanna be embarrassed by him. Again, Irene just laughs him off. About two days ago, Irene and Will went on an early morning run. I didn't go with them, but the first thing that I heard when Will entered the house was, the only reason I couldn't keep up with you is because you were sweating too much. I found this extremely comical and kind of just laughed him off.

Irene rolled her eyes and went to take a shower, so I thought the conversation would die. However, we'll just kept bringing up my wife's sweats. My wife went to work and he told her, make sure you don't sweat through your clothes, or when he called me in the middle of the day he yelled, tell the sweaty B word that I said hi. Of course, the B word comment aggravated me, and I told him to knock it off and stop acting like a child. I thought that was the end of it, but he just kept going. By the end of the day, I was tired of his comments, but Irene seemed rather unfazed by them.

When she served him food, he made a comment about her sweating into the food. At this point, I was at my wit's end, and I told him to stop acting like a sore, slow loser and to just eat his food. At this point, I was at my wits end and I told him to stop acting like a sore, slow loser and to just eat his food. Well, of course, got angry and said the only reason he was going slower than usual was because he was distracted by my wife's unhygienic sweat. I re-looked a bit offended by this and I told Will that I would kick him out if he ever made another comment like that. He's been super pissed ever since. I jokingly told this story to a mutual friend and they agreed with Will. Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh.

Alright, hold up. Hold up. This guy is coming into your house, eating your food, insulting your wife, and you're supposed to just, what, accept that? I hate to use this word because I find it super cringy, but what kind of cuck mentality is that? You're supposed to let your guest just trash all over your wife. If someone came into my house and called my wife the B word,

they would be out instantaneously, no negotiation. This is my house. This is my partner. And you're gonna insult her under my own roof? Nah, get the f*** outta here. If anything, OP, I think you're gonna insult her under my own roof. Nah, get the f*** out of here. If anything, OP, I think you're being too polite. And this stupid argument about, oh, you sweat too much, like what are you talking about? He couldn't catch up to her in a run because of her sweat.

Well, was she like sweating into puddles that was causing him to slip because of the wetness? It doesn't make any sense. Clearly, he's just but her because a girl is better than him at something and he's trying to take it out on her to make himself feel better. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 but holes. Your brother gets 2.5 out of 5 but holes. That was our slash in my the but hole and if you like this content check out my second youtube channel by clicking the link in the description. the link in the description.