rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Parents Threw Me Out, and Now They Want My House

Episode Date: December 20, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP grew up in a family of doctors, so of course his parents expected him to become a doctor as well. He chose a different career path, so his parents kicked him out and basically disowned him. Decades later, they reunite and the parents discover that OP has become a wealthy investment banker who's richer than anyone else in the family. The parents suddenly expect to move in with OP because he has the best house. Is he the butthole for refusing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the butthole where OP kicks his judgmental parents out of his house? Am I the butthole for refusing to let my parents move in and reminding them that they back the wrong horse? I'm a 37 year old male and my family comes from a long line of doctors. Being a doctor is the only acceptable profession in their eyes and anything aside from that is met with literal abandonment. Which is what happened to me when I turned 17 and told my family that I was not going to be a doctor but to build an acting career and social media career. YouTube wasn't big back then and that I was going to supplement my income with small business endeavors. When I told my family this, they kicked me out and we subsequently lost contact for 17 years.

During this time they moved to the UK and my sister became a doctor and my older brother got into a very competitive stream for surgery which he has now finished. We reconnected when COVID hit and they told me they were moving back to Sydney for lifestyle reasons and because my brother has found a $750,000 a year job. During the last two years, they never asked me how my acting career or social media stuff went and basically assumed that I was just slumming it in Sydney.

To their credit, they were correct that I didn't make it big in acting or make it at all. I did, however, make it big as an investment banker and recently made partner at the bank where I work. This came to a head on Friday when I met them for house shopping. I walked to meet them and when they asked about my car, I just said I preferred to walk. And they realized that the areas where they wanted to live, despite being highly paid

medical professionals, simply wasn't going to happen, because the houses cost north of $20 million. When we decided to call it a day in regroup, they suggested going to my place before going out to dinner. When we arrived at my house, they thought that I was renting a room, and they inquired how much rent was. I informed them that I wasn't renting, and that this was my house. They lost their minds, accusing me of lying to them for years, and only meeting up to rub in their face in my probably illegally gained wealth. And they capped it off by informing me that they'll be living with me now instead of with my oldest brother since they can't be seen living in a worse house in their son. I laughed at them and reminded them they bet on my brother and sister, not me, and that they have a better

chance of living with my neighbors than with me. At that point, they threatened to cut me out of their will, to which I reminded them of the fact that they can't even afford to buy a house in my neighborhood, so their will and assets don't really matter to me. Now they aren't talking to me, and my brother and sister are saying that I should have been proactive in letting them know about my success. I do have a public LinkedIn profile, so they literally never googled me. O.P. No way are you the butthole in this story. To be honest, I'm surprised we even bothered to meet up with them. If my parents kicked me out of the house at 17 and then wanted to go house shopping 17

years later, tough luck. They're lucky that you're even giving them the time of day, let alone a $20 million house to live in. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your douchebag parents get three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to host things giving for over 20 people for the fourth year in a row? So my fiance has a rather large family. Parents, two brothers with significant others,

numerous adult nieces and nephews and their partners. And there's usually always some distant aunts, uncle or cousin that tags along. I have two family members that join holidays. This year neither will be able to attend. Last year only one was present. So for the past four years, I've been single, handily cooking from scratch and hosting for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

So essentially, I've been cooking dinner for 20 people or so while my partner babysits a brisket in the smoker. There's a lot of logistics between cooking for a large crowd. I start prepping the night before, cook all morning and afternoon, and by the time everything is done, I'm too exhausted to enjoy the food that I cooked. Last year, I requested that everyone attending brings one side dish or dessert, and no one brought anything. I had a feeling that's what was going to happen because no one mentioned what they were

bringing, so I had to cook everything anyways. And just to also mention, I have never been thanked for hosting or cooking. Literally by no one. All leftovers get picked over and taken home. Last year I also had to cook the following day because there was nothing left to eat, except for some baked bread that my mother-in-law turned or nose up to, and I wanted to enjoy leftovers at least.

This year, I told my partner that I have no intention of cooking. If he wanted to host, he can cater. His reaction was, but that's our tradition. Can't you at least make some box stuffing or something, and everyone's planning on coming? My reaction was, nope, that's YOUR tradition. I will not make box stuffing, and if they're planning on coming, you better put the catering order in.

My husband hasn't spoken to me since. I also had to explain, and I shouldn't have to, that I haven't been feeling well. I've finished an eight-month course of a pretty rough medication that dries out all the joints in your body. I've been achy and miserable, and I feel stiff when I overwork myself. Am I the butthole for not wanting to entertain 20 plus people twice a year every year? I've decided to possibly sit out Thanksgiving completely, buy a pre-made single serving Thanksgiving dinner at a local grocery store that just needs to be popped in the oven for a while and going to watch that new Lady Gaga movie.

Opie, this is nuts. Your husband is nuts! This guy honestly expects you to cook this lavished, grand, huge feast for his entire family of like 20 people, and then, just you. Not your brother, not your sister, then just you, not your brother, not your sister, not your parents, not your kids, just you. Of course he got upset when you decided not to cook anymore, because he's been the one benefiting from all of your hard work this whole time.

Honestly, OP, I'm amazed that you lasted four years doing this. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your husband gets three out of five buttholes. Also, every single one of OP's family members gets one out of five buttholes, your husband gets three out of five buttholes. Also, every single one of OPs family members gets one out of five buttholes. I have never in my life gone to an event that said, please bring one dish and then not brought something. That's just rude, entitled, and selfish.

Will I be the butthole if I refuse to go to my sister's wedding because I can't bring my girlfriend as my plus one? I'm a lesbian and I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now. My family, including my sister, is all fine with me being gay and supportive of my relationship. However, her fiance comes from a barrier-aggressive

and religious family and while he himself is fine, his extended family is very traditional and anti-gay. My sister gave me my invitation and person instead of mailing it, and explained that I wasn't getting a plus one because having a gay couple at the wedding would likely end up causing lots of drama with his side of the family. All of my other siblings have plus ones and are welcome to bring their hetero partners. I understand where she's coming from, but it still feels like such a slap in the face. I'm not gonna try to force her to give me a plus one, but I'm seriously considering not going.

I love my sister, but I'm not comfortable spending a whole day alone while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots. I haven't said anything to anyone yet, but if I say that I'll stay home,

will I be the butthole? Yeah, so this is setting like a really dangerous president. She's saying you can't bring your girlfriend to this event. Okay, what about future events? What about Christmas? Thanksgiving, birthdays, holidays. If your sister has a kid, will you be allowed to hang out with that kid

because you've got a girlfriend? Like your sister's setting a very clear example here. She's saying that the opinions of her in-laws are more important than your self-respect. So no, OP, if you stay home, I think you're completely in the right here. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister and your in-laws three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not letting my brother and my sister in-law see my daughter after they threw away her medicine?

I have a four-year-old daughter, Emma. I'm an alcoholic, and I've been sober for two years. My brother was Emma's court-appointed guardian from when she was 15 months old to just before her third birthday. I had to fight for almost a year to get her back. My brother and sister-in-law are still upset that I took Emma from them, and they've called Child Protective Services on me numerous times to make it clear that they do not trust me to take care of my own kid. They love Emma, and Emma loves them, so I try to take her to see them a couple of times a month. A couple weeks ago, Emma caught the stomach flu from someone at her preschool.

I'm in school full time and I had a midterm that day, so I asked my brother to watch her for a couple of hours so I could take my test. They said they were happy to take her, so I brought her to their house that morning with her medicine, a schedule saying when she's supposed to take which medicine and the dosage, a bottle of pdolide and a few changes of clothing. I came to pick her up after the midterm, and half of her medicine, her clothes, and her pdolite were gone. When I asked about it, they said they threw away all of her

medicines in the pd-light because they were liquids and they were already open so I could have put something in there to make her sick. They also said that I shouldn't be giving her Tylenol or Motrin. Again, her doctor said it's fine so they didn't buy her any Motrin. Then I asked about her prescription nausea medication and they said they didn't think that she needs prescription medication for the stomach flu. They also felt that her clothes weren't good enough for her, so they gave the clothes to their neighbor for their garage sale and bought her new clothes, meaning they most likely took her shopping when she was sick and she should have been resting. I left with Emma and I haven't spoken to them since, except to tell them they will not

be allowed anywhere near my kid unsupervised. I'm working on Thanksgiving, so I was going to drop Emma off with my parents so she could see my family. But I still don't want her to be around them, so I'm leaving her with a babysitter instead. Now my family is giving me a hard time for not letting my brother and sister-in-law see Emma, and they're excusing what they did by saying they were just worried about her. Am I the butthole for not letting my daughter see my brother and sister-in-law see Emma, and they're excusing what they did by saying they were just worried about her. Am I the butthole for not letting my daughter see my brother and sister-in-law?

Okay, OP, this next thing that I'm gonna say, I want you to understand that I'm not saying this to excuse their behavior. I'm saying this because I think I kind of understand where they're coming from. So again, I'm not on their side. I just, I think I get why they're acting this way because you have a substance abuse problem.

So I can understand why they're like overly concerned about substances and prescription medication and any sort of tampering with medicine that you've given your kid. Now again, like I'm not saying that it's right for them to have that judgment. I'm just saying I can understand why they would be worried about it. The problem though, is that this isn't about that concern. What it's about is control fundamentally. If it was only about the medicine, then I might be inclined to give them a very minor butthole score,

but the fact that they also threw away her clothing shows clear as day that this is not about medication, it's about control. It's about them sending you a message that they are better parents to your kid than you are. So, Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your brother and sister-in-law 3 out of 5 buttholes. They threw away medicine that was prescribed by a doctor. They just assumed that you're literally poisoning your child and they also threw away her clothes to basically send you a message that they're better than you are.

So I'm giving them 3.5 out of five buttholes. I don't blame you at all OP. If I were in your shoes, I would also cut them off for my daughter. Am I the butthole for calling my brother-in-law out for his weaponized incompetence and calling him pathetic at dinner? I'm a 24-year-old woman and I have a 32-year-old sister who is a husband who's 38 who is the poster child of weaponized incompetence. They have four kids between the ages of 10 and 3 and she's pregnant with a fifth.

My sister works a full-time job, 40 hours a week, cleans your entire house, cooks, takes care of all the kids, without her husband doing anything. It's seriously mind-blowing that she wakes up at like 4 a.m. Cook's breakfast, does chores, gets all of her kids ready for school, takes them all to school and daycare, and all he does is stay home and work. And when his kids get home, after my sister picks them up, of course. He'll just play with them for a little bit and play video games until he falls asleep. And my sister actually makes more money than he does.

My fiance and I had to stay with them for six weeks while our home was being renovated. And since we're both from home, we helped out my sister, and it's amazing how much happier she is when she has help. I helped with the kids and my fiance even drove her to doctor's appointments. Her husband literally only acknowledges that he's a parent when his family's around. Then he's a god-fearing, hard-working father of five. He's the one who wanted more kids. My sister wanted to stop after her last baby, but he needed more boys. I'm seriously concerned, not only for her but her kids as well, because now her oldest child is seeing what's happening and is trying to help. But my sister is prideful

and refuses to let her child do anything. Me and this man have never gotten along. He's been acting like this since their eight-year-old was born. I've tried talking to her about leaving, but she doesn't want her kids to grow up in a broken home. And unfortunately, her experience with our parents' divorce was completely different than mine. So she doesn't understand that a divorce would benefit her kids here because she thinks they need their mom and dad together. Cut to this past weekend, her and her husband through a pre-things-giving potl luck were our entire family plus his was there. I stayed with my sister for a few days because I knew that he wouldn't help.

So we're having dinner all talking and I'm mentioning that we're trying to have a baby, and my brother-in-law makes an all-painted comment about how hard fatherhood is, and I snapped like you would know. He looked taken a back and asked me what I meant, and I unloaded on him. I called him a pathetic excuse for a man who makes my eight month pregnant sister do everything for their family. I went off for a solid 10 minutes and he sat there shrinking in his seat. Then I left.

Last night my sister called me and thanked me for standing up for her and told me that she appreciated me. Although today I got a very nasty text from him, telling me that I'm a terrible person because I lied in front of his family. His mom is angry at him and is moving in with him to help out my sister, and I've made him the laughing stock of his family. He certainly thinks so, but am I the butthole for doing this? No, OP, you get a solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. Mr. Responsible Father is just upset that he has to put on his big boy pants and actually do some work around the house now.

Because otherwise his mommy will be mad at him. Honestly OP, this guy is pathetic. He makes less money, he doesn't do chores, he doesn't help around the house, he doesn't do anything other than play video games. And I'm not trying to be like old-fashioned and say the guy has to make more money, I'm just saying like, what's his contribution? He doesn't make money, he doesn't do chores, he doesn't cook, he doesn't clean, he just plays video games.

So yeah, that makes him a loser. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. The husband gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.