rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Sister Wants My $50,000 Inheritance

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

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Welcome to our slash, Am I wrong? Where O.P. sister demands to receive half of O.P.'s inheritance money. Am I wrong for refusing to give my sister any of my grandpa's inheritance? I'm a 32 year old male, and I was recently bestowed an inheritance of close to $50,000 by my late grandfather, who's 91. The reason that I received the inheritance, according to the will, is because I was the only person in his life who would make a point of visiting him in his old age home. I would visit one or two times a month to check on him, play cards, bring him on walks, etc. The main reason for these visits was because when I was at the lowest point in my life after getting home from deployment, my grandfather was always there to listen and talk with me. We were both combat veterans, so he understood me on a level that other people couldn't.

Here's where the problem lies. My grandfather held a lot of extreme viewpoints that I didn't agree with, more specifically against the LGBTQ plus community. I resented my grandpa for these views, and I called him out whenever he would say something inappropriate. I was very close to ending these visits because of these views, but I decided against it for the reasons discussed prior. My sister, who's 28, is happily married to a woman, and therefore obviously cut off

contact with my grandfather. My sister and I have a very good relationship in general, but would frequently fight over my continued relationship with my grandpa. When he passed away and left me the money, I didn't think there would be any argument over it because my sister wanted nothing to do with him, understandably so. However, when she found out about it, she demanded that she should receive half the money. I was shocked and basically told her no way because she wasn't the one who had been visiting and providing care for him for the last five years. My sister was visibly angry, and we haven't been on speaking terms since. This has left me wondering whether I'm the bad guy, because my sister was a victim of my grandfather's bigotry. However, I don't think that half the

money is a reasonable request. I'll accept whatever judgment I receive. Am I wrong here? Okay, this is a really complicated post because on the one hand, your sister is a victim here. So, it sucks that she's doubly a victim because not only did her grandfather hate her, but also she was cut out of the inheritance. On the other hand, legally and ethically speaking, if you earn money, you can spend it or give it to whoever you want. And if your grandfather's dying wish was that you and you alone inherit his $50,000,

then it's okay if you want to honor that. But then on like another level, it's very hypocritical of your sister to hate her grandfather and to want to completely cut him out of her life, but then turn around and expect to receive his money. So honestly OP, this is kind of like a lose-lose situation. There's not really like a clear or fair answer for you. I think personally what you should do is give half the money to your sister. Because yeah, it sucks, and yeah, she's a hypocrite, but like, did she deserve to be cut out of the will? Not really. She's a victim here. And like, yeah, it is your money, and yeah, you earned it, but I guess you really have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself,

is my integrity and my relationship with my grandfather worth $25,000? Because if you keep that money, I think you're going to deliver a wound to your sister that may never heal. So I think you should split the money, but if you don't, I wouldn't necessarily blame you for it. And I know that some people would actually say that OP is wrong because OP should have cut the the bigoted grandfather out of his life, but I think there's something to be said for people who take the time to try to educate their bigoted family members. OP didn't say that he agreed with it, he said that he called it out and tried to help him see the light, which I think is commendable.

So OP, I'm giving you and your sister 0 out of 5 on the wrong scale. I will admit that your sister is being hypocritical, but I think I can give her a pass because the hypocrisy comes from her being a victim which isn't her fault at all. I'll give your grandfather two out of five on the wrong scale for obvious reasons. Am I wrong for losing it and telling my in-laws to stop calling me Mama and trying to erase my identity? I have two daughters ages two and four. I effing hate how everyone thinks of me just being a mommy now. I don't get to be my own person, I'm just mommy. My husband doesn't face this. He gets gifts from everyone that has to do with his hobbies.

Me, I get a bunch of mommy stuff. Teehee, mommy needs wine and like matching outfits. And I don't mean like one of those cutesy matching pajamas sets at the nurses and horse girls wearing their stage Christmas Instagram picks. I mean like people actually think that I'm going out in public wearing some cutesy matching outfits with my toddlers. As though I think there are many versions of myself or like dolls? From the time that we got to

the in-laws it was mama this and mama that. At some point my sister-in-law said it and I said, you know my name is Carmen right? She just looked at me funny and said, Of course, silly. I said, so why do you keep calling me Mama? You aren't going around calling your husband Papa. My sister-in-law just looked at me like I had two his and was like, um, okay. This went on all throughout Christmas.

Here you go, Mama. One another slice, Mama. At this point, I was just like, do you guys mind calling me by my name instead of calling me Mama? The same sister-in-laws before did the whole golly-jeet-do-eyed thing and said, but you're such a good Mama. I said that I'm not just a mom. I gestured to the things that my husband got for Christmas from them and said, why didn't

you guys get him anything that says Papa? Everything you gave to me is somehow related to me being a mom. Why does he get to be his own person? My mother-in-law grabbed my hand and squeezed it and said that she was so sorry that she made me feel like this. She said that she was just so excited about being a grandma and she never really thought of things like that. I was feeling a little better until sister-in-law 2 and sister-in-law 3 started going after me.

One of them did the whole. Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone? You sound so angry. It isn't healthy. Foe concern thing that's meant to shame you for having any emotional response. The other one was angry and saying, is being a mom somehow beneath you, and do you think that you're better than the rest of us and

all that? When we finally left, my fiance asked me why I kept it in for so long, and I said that I hadn't. No one listened to me before. I've said these things plenty of times. I've always asked him to call me by my name and not some disgusting nickname that boils down to me giving birth. He nodded, but said that I'd put a big pallor on the weekend and that I need to apologize for the outburst at some points. I said, sure, as soon as my sister-in-law is apologized for dehumanizing me for years, we're at a stalemate. Am I wrong? Okay, so in my opinion, not calling someone by their chosen name is basically the most basic insult that you can give to someone.

I don't mean basic as simple. I mean, basic as like, core, like to the root of who they are. There's like infinite ways to insult someone. But I feel like not calling someone by their chosen name is this kind of like core fundamental insult. We are basically saying, I'm denying who you are or I don't respect your identity. You know, like I'm not saying it's the harshest insult in the world because there's lots of harsh insults. I'm just saying this particular type of insult is special because it kind of cuts to the root of who you are as a person. I'm Dabney, Dabney is me, that's my identity.

So, to insult my name is to insult the core of who I am, not my looks, not my profession, not my family life, not my relationships, it's just me, it's insulting who I am, my identity. So, I think it's perfectly justifiable to get upset about this. Especially since you've been asking them not to call you Mama for five whole years? Like, come on. O.P, your husband and all of your in-laws are being deeply disrespectful to you. I'm giving you zero out of five on the wrong scale. I'm giving your husband an in-laws two out of five on the wrong scale.

Am I wrong for causing a family rift because I don't want to sleep outside in my mom's yard on Christmas? What? I'm an 18 year old girl and I'm the youngest out of 4 kids. My siblings are a 31 year old brother, a 28 year old sister and a 25 year old brother. We were raised by our dad and stepmom and our biological mom lives in another country with her husband. Our biological mom wants me and mom lives in another country with her husband. Our biological mom wants me and my siblings to spend Christmas with her this year and

is offered to pay for our transportation and visas. My siblings are all married and have kids and are going to bring their spouses and kids with them. Our mom's house is quite big, and she said that she'll spread out air mattresses in the living room and there's a guest room. She didn't say anything specifically to me about where I'd be sleeping, so I assumed that I'd be sleeping on one of the air mattresses. Well, one of my brothers told me that my mom expects me to sleep in a tent outside. I honestly thought that he was messing with me, but when I asked my mom about it,

it turns out she did. The conversation wasn't in English, but it basically went like this. So, my brother said that you expect me to sleep outside in a tent. Is this true? Yeah, I thought you'd be fine with having your own tent. Why didn't you talk to me about it? I didn't think that it would be a problem. Is it a problem? It is.

I don't want to sleep outside. I don't know what you want me to do. There's too many of you. Can I sleep on the couch? No. My husband likes to watch TV late, you'll be a nuisance. I don't know then, but I am not sleeping outside. I'd rather not go. My mom told my siblings about the conversation, and now they're mad at me and told me to suck

it up and go. They said that I'm being selfish and making a fuss about nothing, and that I can't expect any of them to sleep outside with their spouses or kids. I told my dad about it and he's now royally pissed off with my mom and said that she's being a mega B word and alienating me on purpose and they had a huge argument on the phone. My siblings are all mad at me for causing this. Also, my mom lives in Western Europe so it'll be very cold there and most likely snowy

as well. Okay, okay, so if it's not a there and most likely snowy as well. Okay, okay, so if it's not a big deal, why don't they sleep outside? I get so tired of hearing this. What's the big deal? Why are you making a big fuss out of it? Well, then if it's not a big deal, you do it. Then you do it! You do it! Then you do it! Why don't you do it? Right? Like, oh, I don't understand how you could expect me to sleep outside when I married with kids. So, what does that have to do with anything? I-I'm married and I have a kid and if my 18-year-old sister had to sleep outside, I would gladly offer her to sleep in the bed with my wife while I go sleep in the tent, because I don't want my 18-year-old sister sleeping outside in the cold when she's not comfortable.

And even then, is there really no place in the house anywhere where OP can be shacked up? I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Share a bed with someone. I would say sleep with your sister, but if your sister's married, I guess she wouldn't want you to sleep in the bed with her husband. So, I guess the logical thing to do would be to have two brother-slash husbands share a bit together and then have two of the wives slash sisters and then also O.P. sleep in

one bit together, so three girls in one bit and then two guys in another bit. Like it sucks it's uncomfortable, but at least you're not making your 18 year old sister sleep outside in the snow. Also, depending on the neighborhood, that might not even be safe. And like even then, I don't even know if you have to shuffle people around. You can't just blow up an air mattress and put her, I don't know, in the basement, in the attic, in a hallway, on the floor of one of the bedrooms where the other people sleep. Like, there's so many options. What about the couch? What about the couch that the father uses to watch TV? What if you just, I don't know, what if you just didn't watch TV for a couple of nights? Would that be so bad? Or what if, what if you just buy her a hotel room? Because you don't

have a space. And because you actually care about her as a human being. Like the list goes on and on and on. There are so many options available, but they defaulted to the worst option. I agree with your dad, OP. She is intentionally being a B word, and she is alienating you on purpose. You know, the first line of this of this story is, we were raised by our dad and stepmom, and our biological mom lives in another country with her husband. The very first thought that went through my head is, huh, her mom lives in another country. Doesn't she see OP and her kids?

Doesn't she miss them? And now, after reading this story, I get it. No, she doesn't miss them. She's one of those women who puts her husband above everyone else and literally just does not care about other people, including your own kids. I am starting to see why your dad divorced your mom, OP. In any event, OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 on the wrong scale. I'm giving your siblings

1.5 out of 5 on the wrong scale for their awful, I've got mine, mentality. I'm giving your mom and her husband 4 out of 5 buttholes for honestly putting TV on a sofa ahead of their own daughter's safety. Am I wrong for silently getting up and walking out of the restaurant during New Year's Eve dinner after I was told to pay for everyone at the table, including my in-laws? I'm a 32-year-old woman, and recently I inherited a good amount of money from my mom. I keep the money in a separate account because I still haven't decided what to do with it, and I don't want it to go to waste. I noticed my husband constantly bringing up the inheritance money and making countless

suggestions as to how I should spend it. Another thing is that he expects me to pay for nearly everything the past couple of weeks. For New Year's Eve, my husband and I met up with his family at a restaurant to celebrate. It was going fine, until I found out that I was expected to pay for everyone at the table. My husband's mom joked about paying for dinner out of my inheritance pockets, which made me livid, but I showed no reaction. I just silently paid for my own food and drinks. Then I got up and made my way out of the restaurant. They were shouting after me and my husband tried to get me to come back, but I drove home.

My husband got back at 3 a.m. yelling at me saying that I was pathetic to get up and walk out on him and his family after they relied on me to pay for their food, and they thought that I was gracious enough to do it, but they were wrong. He said that I humiliated him and his family and that what I did was an attempt to get back at them for not being able to help my mom when she was sick. All I'm gonna say is that is not true at all. He's mad and he's saying that I caused a huge rift between his family and me when it wouldn't have hurt me to pay for the celebratory dinner.

Am I wrong? Down in the comments, Rich's signal says it best. So let me get this straight. Your mother died after an illness and the thing your in-laws take from this is, great! Now she can pay for everything. Yeah, not the butthole. I agree with this poster, OP. The way that your husband and in-laws are treating you is super disrespectful.

They should be showing you sympathy at the loss of your mom, not greed. OP, you get zero out of 5 on the wrong scale. I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of 5 on the wrong scale and you're in loss 2 out of 5 on the wrong scale. That was our slash of my D.A. and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.