rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Surrogate is Trying to Steal My Husband!

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole OP and her husband have fertility issues, so they hire a surrogate to carry their baby for them. As the birth of their child gets closer, the surrogate starts acting strangely possessive of OP's husband. She keeps cutting OP out of conversations with the husband, and she demands access to the husband's credit cards. OP is starting to worry that the surrogate is trying to steal her husband! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Am I the Butthole? Where OP cancels his son's birthday party? Am I the Butthole for canceling my son's birthday party after discovering that he ruined his stepbrothers to cease brother's hoodie? I'm a 45-year-old man, and I have a biological son, Leo, who's 16 from my previous relationship. I married another woman who's the mother of two boys, Connor, who's 20, and deceased, and Derek, who's 16 from my previous relationship. I married another woman who's the mother of two boys, Connor who's 20 and deceased and Derek who's 12. I never had the pleasure of meeting Connor who tragically passed away from a motorcycle accident. Derek was so devastated

by this loss and even though it's been years he's still grieving. I've seen tons of pictures and videos of Connor, and I've made efforts to get to know who he was as a way to share Derek's grief and be there for him to lend an ear in comforting shoulder. It's safe to say that Derek and I grew a strong bond in no time. However, my son Leo is not close to Derek. This is understandable because not all siblings and step-siblings are the same. Leo and Derek are different in everything, which isn't a bad thing. But Leo calls himself the brutally honest type and makes insensitive comments about Derek most of the time.

These harsh comments tend to be under the guise of advice. Derek never complained, so I had to step in until Leo to stop being insensitive towards a step-brother, especially with everything regarding Conor and his memory. Leo would say, okay I get it, and I won't do it again. Days ago, Leo wanted to hang out with his friends and ask Derrick if he wanted to join. Derrick agreed, and he put on Conor's hoodie before going out. Leo commented on the hoodie and called it ugly and asked him to put on something else, but Derrick insisted on wearing it or not going, so Leo dropped it.

Hours later, Derek came home crying with his hoodie in his hand. He said Leo and his friend had cut the hoodie to pieces while he was in the bathroom after they convinced him to take it off. I was furious and I asked Leo what happened. He said that it was his friend's idea and that he had to do it since Derek wears that hoodie everywhere and it looked old and embarrassing. I reminded Leo who this hoodie belonged to and he said, so what, maybe this will help him move on in life.

I told him his birthday party was cancelled and his friends aren't welcome anymore. He pitched a fit saying that his birthday was a right not a privilege and I can't cancel it. He had my ex criticize my decision and wanted to host his birthday party, but I refused because he's grounded so no party anywhere. She and her family called me awful and ridiculous and asked me to think how Leah would hate me for this, but I insisted that he needed punishment for putting a stepbrother through this.

Your 16 year old son destroyed a cherished memento that a 12 year old had that reminds him of his dead older brother. That's not just like one of the mill childhood bullying. That's cruel. That's pure cruelty. And him saying that he has a right to a birthday party? Bill of Rights, the First Amendment, the right to free speech, the Second Amendment, the right to have a birthday party? Bill of Rights, the first amendment, the right to free speech, the second amendment, the right to have a birthday party. I mean, give me a break, it's

a party, not a right. Your son absolutely deserves to have his birthday party canceled, and if you ask me, he deserves even more punishment on top of that. You're a calmer man than me, OP, because if I were in your shoes I would have gone nuclear. That is absolutely disgusting behavior and your son really needs to do some soul searching. OP I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your son 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm also giving your ex and her family 3 out of 5 buttholes. She should want you to punish Leo because what kind of parent wants a kid who emotionally

tortures grieving 12 year olds. Am I the butthole for telling my surrogate to stop acting like she's my husband's wife? My husband and I have been together for 5 years. We wanted kids, but because of my health problems this wasn't possible. So we decided to go with the surrogacy. My friend nominated her sister, Brittany, who's 29, and I agreed right away because I know Brittany and the family. We discussed payment, short and long-term plans, counseling, and doctor appointments.

We explored IVF, and we chose a private clinic to get it done. Things started changing after Brittany took a pregnancy test. She only told my husband, even though she had both of our phone numbers. She only sent my husband a picture of the test while he was at work, and sent me nothing even though I gave her my personal contact info. Things got complicated when Britney started having access to our credit cards for her own ones, and she claimed there were for our baby's needs. She excluded me from doctor visits and scans, and only had my husband go with her. Her excuse was had my husband go with her.

Her excuse was that my husband would drive her and he would have time since I work and I'm unavailable most of the time. I felt really isolated, but I said nothing since I know that she's bearing a lot of the burden, so I had patience. My husband had no idea what was going on or if this was even normal. This was all new to us, so we really didn't know. She's seven months pregnant at this point, and last week she had a visit to discuss things that I thought we'd previously agreed on. But she said that she changed her mind about

them and her mom was there too. I heard Brittany out and I was shocked when she gave a list of how things should be from now on since there was a lot of confusion in the past caused by me complaining. She said that she should get a say in things like the baby's name after I deleted the list of names that she sent my husband. She wanted more access to my husband's credit cards. Also, she wanted more time with the baby than we had agreed on. She then wrapped up by saying that only my husband should be with her in the delivery room,

and she used a hospital as an excuse. I stood up, and firmly stated that I don't agree to her new terms, and that she has to stop acting like she's my husband's wife, and that this was her baby. My husband didn't speak until Brittany started crying. He asked me to sit down, but I said that I had my boundaries. I reminded Brittany of what her role was here and how she overstepped. Her mom went off on us and said that I had my boundaries. I reminded Brittany of what her role was here and how she overstepped. Her mom went off on us and said that her daughter was being mistreated when she put herself mentally and physically through the most selfless act for us.

We could make a family. She gave up part of her life in those months to give us what we want. And I was acting selfish and ungrateful. She told me to apologize for what I said. Am I the butthole? And then OP adds some clarifying information. Yeah, we agreed on paying for the surrogacy like I stated above, so no favors or anything.

No, we didn't have a legal contract, because my friend said there was no need for us to do that. And she basically talked us out of it since we're considered family, but we had an agreement including paying her. And regarding the question about whether Brittany had kids of her own. Brittany was a single mom of a four-year-old who passed away from an accident. Brittany had him at a young age, but she always seemed a good mental and physical health. Oh my god.

Alright, OP. So first off, I cannot believe that you wouldn't write a contract for something as important as serious as complicated as surrogacy. I know hindsight is 2020, but everyone here deserves a butthole score for not insisting on a contract. Also OP, I mean, come on now. How could you think that it was a good idea to have a family friend who had a deceased child act as your surrogate?

Britney already lost one of her kids, and now you want to make her go through the emotional experience of losing another one? Okay, like, okay, so, uh, what I even say to the story? O.P. Yes, all right, I definitely understand that you need to set your boundaries and maintain those boundaries. But at the same time, it's like you kind of put yourself in the situation, right? You didn't sign a contract, you picked a surrogate who had a deceased child, and you expected that to just go smoothly?

I hate to say this Opie because I have sympathy for you, but you made your bed and now you have to lay in it. So I think that the, I think my final rating is that nobody here is exactly a butthole. However, everyone involved in this story has made really poor choices and you're now suffering the consequences of those poor choices. Am I the butthole for kicking my sister-in-law out after she threw away most of my single-use baby products and even formula? I'm a 19 year old woman and I have a 3 week old baby girl. I do so live with my parents, but since I pay rent equally, they say that I have just as much of a say in who comes and goes from the house as they do.

I've never actually taken advantage of this rule until recently though. I have a brother who's 26 and his wife is 24. They're both crunchy parents to an 8 month old. Basically, what crunchy parenting is is effing stupid. My brother and his wife use reusable wipes and nappies. Think formula is the epitome of evil and the list just goes on. I'm the complete opposite. I use pacifiers, formula, and disposable wipes and nappies. They're completely against the products that I use, and they often give me things like my sister-in-law's breast milk and bags, and they also give me disposable divers that their

kid has grown out of. I've used some, but it's not really my cup of tea. On Monday night, my brother and sister-in-law were minding my baby for me since it was my birthday, and my baby's father took me to get some dinner and one of my favorite fast food places. It was great and really relaxing. When I got home that evening, my sister-in-law said that she did some cleaning and throughout everything that you don't need. This immediately sent up red flags, but they were in a hurry to get out the door and

left almost immediately. When I went into the nursery, every disposable diaper and white pack was gone, and replaced with some reusable cloth ones. Same with my formula, there was eight tubs of it, and all of it was gone. I'm not able to replace them at the moment, and solely breastfeeding isn't sustainable for me. I was extremely angry, and I just turned my phone off to avoid being mean to my sister-in-law. She and my brother came over yesterday to collect some things they forgot and that was when I confronted her. I told her that she has to replace everything that she dumped.

When she said that she can't afford to, I said fine, just get out and don't come back until I've been reimbursed or everything is replaced with the original items. My brother thinks that I'm being a massive butthole and he's on his wife's side. Our parents think that I'm being completely reasonable here, but they think that telling her essentially not to come back is taking it too far. Am I the butthole? Okay OP, so if you had gone to their house and babysit their kid, and you threw away all of your sister-in-law's breast milk and reusable whatever's and

replaced it with formula and disposable stuff. I'm sure they would have been totally cool with it, right? And when they expect you to replace the stuff, you say, sorry, but I can't afford to replace the stuff. Then I'm sure your brother and sister-in-law would have been totally cool with that, right OP? No, of course not, because it's extremely disrespectful. I mean, putting aside what baby products you should or shouldn't use, the reality of the situation

is that they basically stole from you. They came into your house and destroyed your stuff. You don't have to actually use something that you steal in order for it to qualify as stealing. If you steal someone's car and then wreck their car, it's still stealing. Also, OP, it's great that your parents back you up, but really, they've got no leg to stand on here. If they're gonna collect rent from you, then yeah, it's just as much your house as it is there, so you have a right to say who doesn't doesn't come in. If they want to be able to say that your sister-in-law can come into the house, then they have no business taking rent from you.

Ward of advice OP, if your sister-in-law refuses to replace their products, then just take her to a small claims court because it seems really cut and dry to me. That's just theft, you can't just deal someone's stuff and get away from it, so I'm pretty sure the court would back you up and force her to pay you back. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, your brother and sister-in-law gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Your parents backed you up so I can't be too harsh on them, but they are being a little bit hypocritical with the rent policy, so I have to give them 0.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for purposefully sending my cousin the wrong time for a movie so that everyone else could enjoy the movie? I'm a 16 year old girl, and my brother Nate, who's 17, was diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder when he was 12. At first I walked on egg shells around him, but things are much better now. So intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive and violent behavior in which the person reacts grossly out of proportion to the situation. It can manifest in road rage, domestic abuse, throwing or breaking things, and other temper

tantrums. Most family members know and understand that IED is not just tantrums, but a serious issue. Other people don't understand that. One of my cousins, Kira, who 17, does not understand that. Ever since my parents informed the family about Nate being diagnosed, she said nothing but intentionally pushes buttons at every family gathering. My parents have talked to my uncle and aunt about this, but they brush it off, calling it pranks.

None of my other cousins like Kira or her family. We're just forced to be cordial because of our parents. Kira has to be invited every time the cousins hang out together, with most of the time ending with Nate being triggered by Kira. The day before yesterday, we all plan to watch a movie. Our parents knew this, so of course, they told Kira's parents who told her. Kira messaged me and asked me where and when we were all supposed to meet. My brother has really been looking forward to this movie and seeing our cousins again.

He's also been in a really good mood, and I didn't want Kira to ruin it so I did what I thought was best at the time. I gave her the wrong time to meet us. I told my cousins and Nate what I did and they were fully on board. After the movie finished, we came out of the theater and waited in the parking lot. As soon as we saw Kira pull in, we all waved back at her and gave her this sweet smile. Then we made her run for our cars, got in and left. As expected, when me and Nate got home, we were immediately ambushed by our parents about why we abandoned Kira. Apparently, she had cried all the way home.

My parents grounded me in Nate for two weeks. Nate surprisingly took it well and said that it was worth it. The rest of the cousins were grounded as well. I did text him and say they could tell their parents it was my idea, but my cousins refused and reiterated what my brother had said. I thought that was the end of it, but my parents have really been hurt by this and said that me and Nate humiliated them in front of Kira's parents and that Kira has been inconsolable since.

What? Is anyone surprised that a bunch of teenagers aren't going to invite a bully to come hang out with them? Besides, if Kira loves pranking people, then surely she wouldn't mind this one prank, right? She pranks Nate all the time, so what's wrong with pranking her? OP, your cousin Kira is a typical bully. She can dish it out, but she can't take it. Honestly, OP, you sound like an awesome person here. You stuck up for your brother, you stood up against a bully, and at the end of it, you were willing to sacrifice yourself to spare your cousins.

OP, you get a rock solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your brother and your cousins also get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Kira on the other hand, gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. Kira, on the other hand, gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. Kira's parents also get 3 out of 5 parents, and your parents OP get 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.