rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Wife Abandoned Our Infant In A Burning Building

Episode Date: March 4, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP drives up to his home as his wife runs out of their home in a panic. His wife tells him that the house is on fire, and that the baby is inside. Naturally, OP runs inside to save his infant child, all while the wife tries to stop him. OP put out the fire in the kitchen with a fire extinguisher and then saves the baby. He became furious at the wife for abandoning their child in a burning building, and now the wife is mad at him because he was mad at her. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Make every moment a little more magical this season with a Starbucks red cup in your hands. Wrap yourself in the warmth of one of our familiar faves, like a peppermint mocha or a caramel brule latte. Find your festive with the Starbucks app. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post-traumatic cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash and My The Butthole, where OP's wife leaves their baby in a burning building. Am I the butthole for not switching places with my friend and broaning her life? This happened a couple of weeks ago, but I'm still getting flack about it.

A friend of mine, Daya, asked me if I wanted to come with her on some errand and see her new car. I said yes, because I had some things to get down to my car was being checked over. While we were out, Daya ended up hitting another car while turning left. We were both shaken, but mostly fine. Yet when I started to call the cops, Daya started freaking out even more. She started begging me not to call the cops and just go talk to the other driver. I didn't feel comfortable not calling them so I went ahead and dead. Then Daya started begging me to get into the driver's seat and I had to claim that I was

the one driving. It turns out Daya doesn't have a license. She wanted a car, but she didn't feel like getting her license so her mom bought the car for her. I didn't feel comfortable lying to the police so I continued to refuse and just got out of the car and waited on the sidewalk for them to get there. Well, Daya got arrested for driving without a license, insurance, or registration for her car, and she just told me today that she's been found at fault for the accident. Now Daya, her mom, and half her friends are saying that I'm a butthole for not

just switching places. She's now facing multiple fines, possible jail time, and being kicked out of our MA program because of all of this. I tried to explain that I don't feel comfortable lying to the police, but she just keeps calling me a privileged B word and wishing horrible things would happen to me. So am I the butthole for not switching places with her? Oh, P, she's the one who committed the crime. She's the one who drove without a driver's license. She's the one who hit the other car. It's not as though you going to the driver's seat would have made this magically disappear.

In that case, you would be the one liable. You'd have to pay out for damaging the car, you might lose your license and your insurance would almost certainly go up. And on top of that, switching seats and saying that you were the driver might actually constitute fraud. I mean, what did the other driver saw use which places and he told the cops that? In that case, Daya would still be in trouble for driving without a license and getting

into the car wreck, but on top of that, you would be in trouble for insurance fraud. OP, you are not the butthole here. Daya and her mom are being really toxic. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving Daya and her mom 4 out of 5 buttholes. They've basically tried to ruin your life so they wouldn't be inconvenienced. Am I the butthole for not letting my boyfriend pay less on bills due to a new purchase because he wouldn't let me when I made less money than him. I lived together with my boyfriend of two years. We split expenses 50-50 when it comes to rent, grocery, utilities, things for the house,

etc. We both make about the same money working full time. We keep some of our finances separate, such as our own vehicles, Dr. Bill, cell phone bills, etc. My boyfriend recently made an irresponsible and unnecessary purchase, a motorcycle. To keep it short, it was something he absolutely did not need, just wanted, and it's made his disposable income significantly less. This has been a sore subject between us. The other day, he asked me to sit down and talk. He told me that since he paid more in his

personal bills each month, he felt that we had to adjust how much we paid on our shared expenses. So basically, he felt like he should have to pay less. This made me mad for a few reasons. First, as I said, the purchase was absolutely not necessary by any means. And when we first started living together, I made way less money than I do now. I worked part-time at another job and made $12 less than an hour than he did. However, back then, he refused to budget on letting me pay less on bill, so I budgeted and saved and always had everything paid despite that. So I told him no.

I told him he wasn't willing to pay more than me when I made way less money than he did, and the purchase wasn't necessary and he knew it would make his finances difficult. If he couldn't pay our bills, he needed to leave. He, of course, thinks that I'm being a butthole for not budging on the issue, but I think that it's only fair. Am I the butthole here? OP, don't budge on this one. If you pay more on bills, then what that effectively means is you're paying for his motorcycle.

And down in the comments, Canadian Mama points out something interesting. Speaking of red flags, I took a peek at your post history. Your parents don't like them. He put you on speakerphone without your knowledge after doing something really upsetting in an attempt to lower his parents' opinion of you. And now this! You're only 20 years old, time to move on. The longer you stay with someone who isn't right for you, the less time you have to find someone who is. Yeah, if your post history is any indication, it sounds like your boyfriend is just immature, selfish, and kind of a loser. O.P. either figure that fact out now or figure it out later.

May as well say we sell some time and do it now. Am I the butthole for unemviting my mom, then my aunt, then my sister to my wedding after they harassed my fiance? I'm a 30 year old guy, and I'm expecting my first baby together with my soon to be wife who's 28. All of my family are hard, core Christians, so they were not happy with us having a baby before getting married. My fiancee and I decided to have the wedding before our baby arrives.

Thankfully, everyone in the family supported this decision and wanted to help. We're getting married in March. However, the problem started when my fiance was showing the women and my family pictures of her wedding dress. My mom and my aunt got mad at her for picking out a dress that they thought was revealing and said that it would show guest her pregnancy and they didn't want that. They said they would not accept that and demanded she either return or replace it with another wedding gown to cover it up. My fiance was crying, saying that my mom was pressuring her, and coming up with other

wedding dress suggestions that aren't her style. I told my mom that she was grossly overstepping, and that it's funny she thinks of her own grandchild as something to hide and be ashamed of. My mom got into an argument with me. She lashed out, and said that I should not be putting them in this awful position. I told her she was uninvited for my wedding since she refused to stop. My mom got my aunt involved. I simply replied to her shaming texts by telling her that she, too, got uninvited to the wedding.

I kid you not, my sister kept berating me and claiming my fiancee is being the problem in a bride's illa. I told her that she, too, was uninvited and I let it be known that everyone else would be uninvited too if they tried to get involved. That's when the mess hit the fan. Now my dad and others are furious saying, Jesus Adam you messed up big time. And then they went on to call me unreasonable saying that I have to re-invite my mom, aunt and sister ASAP. And get my fiance to return her offensive dress because that's the least that I could do for them. In fact, they said that I should be on my knees begging them to show up after I made them

look bad for getting my fiance pregnant before getting married. I haven't talked to them yet. They made my fiance feel bad about every choice we made, including uninviting the family. My little sister likes my fiancee's dress. At least there's one supportive member in my family. My brother and his wife just keep parroting my mom's hurtful words and calling me a doormat for doing this. OP, you and your fiancee get zero out of five buttholes.

The one important fact that your family seems to be forgetting here is that this is your wedding, so you can handle it however you want. If you and your wife want to walk down the aisle but naked or like decked out in BDSM gear, then that's your right. If your family doesn't like it, too bad, so sad, don't come. I'm giving your family members 2.5 out of 5 buttolls, except your little sister. She seems cool. At Salesforce, we're all about asking more of AI.

Questions like, where's the data going? Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVi.com. Looking for bright, even glowing skin? Then harness the brightening power of vitamin C and get your glow on with

Garnier vitamin C brightening serum. A highly concentrated serum formulated with derming gradients such as vitamin C, niacinamide, and salicylic acid. Visibly smooth skin texture, even out the look of skin tone and boost glow. All in just two weeks with Garnier vitamin C brightening serum like Garnier naturally. Shut Now on Amazon.ca Am I the butthole for being so upset at my wife for leaving our baby in a burning building that I left for a night with our baby?

My wife and I have an eight-month-old baby. Last week I was coming home from work and just as I was coming up the driveway, she came running down the driveway barefoot. She saw me and yelled at me to call 911 because there was a fire in the kitchen. I asked her where our daughter was because she wasn't with her, and my wife said that she was inside and to call 911 fast. We live somewhere rural and response times are slow. I immediately became scared that the house would go up and flamethrower with our daughter inside

before the fire department came. I tried to run inside and my wife tried to stop me, yelling again and again that I couldn't go in because there was a fire. I went inside and the way the house is laid out, you have to go through the kitchen to get to the hallway with the nursery. There was a grease fire on the stove in a pan and the wall above the stove in the curtains nearby were catching fire. I put out the grease fire by putting a lid on the pan and a pan and the wall above the stove in the curtains nearby were catching fire. I put out the grease fire by putting a lid on the pan and then I put out the fire on the wall and curtains with a fire extinguisher. Then I immediately went to the nursery and got our daughter.

Going back outside, my wife was gone. I soon found out that she went down the road looking for a neighbor whose phone she could use. But at the time, and for a while, I was really upset that her reaction to a fire had been to run out without our baby and to even try to stop me from going inside before the fire department had come. And that my wife put our daughter in danger by not trying to put out the grease fire or trying to use a fire extinguisher.

If I hadn't come home when I did, I don't want to think about what would have happened. The fire department showed up, but the fire was already out, and my wife returned to driven by a neighbor. I was angry with her for the reasons I said, and she just totally clammed up. I went to stay with my brother and sister in law that night, taking our daughter. And my wife was really angry with me over it, saying the next day, how dare I leave her alone after that. She needed someone to drive her to urgent care after injuring her foot running barefoot.

That upset me even more, that out of everything, that was what she was worried about. Not what had almost happened when she ran out of our burning home without our baby. I've been staying in my brother for about a week now. I don't know what to do, or if I was in the wrong for being so angry. Am I the butthole for how I reacted to my wife starting an accidental kitchen fire, then running away leaving our baby in the house? Alright, so first off, I think it's really, really, really easy to just pile on hating this mother. But before we get ahead of ourselves, I just want to say that people don't always act rationally

in highly dangerous situations. In fact, this is actually sort of like a point of friction with me and my wife because we have polar opposite reactions to high-stress situations. Whenever something like really dangerous or stressful happens, I get really worked up and emotional and I just want to act. Like, hi, Dr. Nlin freaked out and just want to do something. The thing that I do might not always be, you know, the best situation

because I get really worked up, but I get really, really high energy and focused on the problem. My wife's reaction is like the total opposite. She gets really, really calm and logical and she wants to like think about the correct way to solve the problem. Each of our approaches isn't exactly wrong and each approach isn't exactly right because some situations are better than other situations.

Let me give you a really good example. One time me and my wife are driving down the interstate and I'm in the driver's seat and I look in my rearview mirror. I see this truck coming at me really, really fast and I knew instantaneously that this car was going to hit me. Now I couldn't move out of my lane because there was a car next to me. My split second decision making was to just absolutely floor it. I was thinking that if he was coming too fast, if I sped up, then the collision wouldn't be quite as intense.

And that like instantaneous moment of decision making, I just absolutely floored it, and I started screaming. Screaming like a little girl, this horrified my wife. A short moment later, like one or two seconds later, the truck hit the back of my car. Now luckily, I had sped up enough that by the time they did hit me it was just barely a little nudge rather than like a solid hit going at like 60 miles per hour. Anyways, he just kind of like bumped my bumper and then the two of us pulled over and we checked our bumpers and there wasn't really too much damage. But my heart was going a mile a minute, and my wife was totally calm, very logical,

just sitting next to me kind of taking everything in, and that was it. But afterwards, when we got back in the car and we were driving, my wife got kind of upset because she was like, why'd you have to freak out about that situation? Why'd you have to scream? It scared me.

Why couldn't you just handle the situation? I asked her, if you were in that situation, why did you have to scream? It scared me, why couldn't you just handle the situation? I asked her, if you were in that situation what would you have done? And she thought about it for a moment and said that she probably would have hit the brakes. Because like I said, her impulse to high stress situations is to slow things down and think about it rationally. So if she had hit the brakes with someone coming up behind her really fast, then we almost certainly would have been in a high speed collision. if she had hit the brakes with someone coming up behind her really fast, then we almost certainly

would have been in a high-speed collision. I'm not trying to say that the way that she reacts to stress is any better or worse than the way that I react to stress because they both have advantages and disadvantages. What I'm trying to say is, everyone has sort of a way that they react to high stress, high danger situations. That being said, your wife, oh man, your wife exhibited some very, very dangerous behavior here. You guys have a newborn baby, she needs to learn some basic home safety skills. Where's the fire extinguisher? How does it work?

What do you do in the event of a fire? What do you do if your child goes missing? What do you do if she swallows something that she starts choking? Because it sounds like your wife's instinct is to just run away from something that's scary, which in some situations is just not the right call. So step number one OP, for your safety, your wife's safety, and for your kid's safety, please go to some kind of like first aid class or something. Outside of that Opie, I think I might recommend some family counseling because it sounds like this has done some serious damage to your trust levels in the relationship. I don't blame you for getting upset at your

wife, but at the same time, it's not like she did anything maliciously, she just did things incorrectly. And down in the comments, we have this story from Queen Areo. When my daughter was about 18 months old, she choked on a nickel. My husband yelled for me to come help and stood there with wild eyes and a white hot panic, and asked me 100 times in 20 seconds if he should call 911 while I was doing back blows. I finally said yes, call, and he grabbed his phone, called 911, and ran out of the house, leaving me alone with the choking child. He later said that his plan was to be outside so the paramedics could find their house, which is fair, it's hard to find. But the reality was, he just panicked. He handles crises professionally, but in the moment with his own child, he just

freaked the F out. I don't feel like I can judge her or you, not the but-hole. But your wife should definitely learn some basic first aid in home safety. Does your town do a survive a live house? Our town does, and I'm sure they would allow a grown up community to some general knowledge and need to gain a level of confidence in handling small emergencies. A first aid class is probably a good idea too. That was our slash in my the but-hole, and if you like this content, check out my Patreon where I publish extra episodes. Also hit that subscribe button because I put out new Reddit videos every single day.