rSlash - r/AmITheA**hole My Wife Spent Our Life's Savings On An MLM Scheme

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP's sister-in-law is an absolute mega-Karen who is constantly blowing all of her money in get rich quick schemes. Karen ropes OP's wife into a scheme. OP's wife wi...thdraws a huge chunk of their life savings to invest in an MLM scheme. OP tells his wife that if she doesn't return the money, he's going to divide all of their finances because he can't trust her anymore. Naturally, she flips out on him and says that he's suppressing her dreams. What do you think? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Your business has grown fast, from opening your first location to planning an expansion in no time. And with your business platinum card from American Express, you can access spending power and payment flexibility to fuel your growth. Sarah, the contractor is here with the plans. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca slash business platinum. Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash and My The Butthole, where someone steals candy from a child. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that I would open a separate account if she didn't
Starting point is 00:00:43 get our money back? I'm a 39 year old guy, and I've been married to my wife, who's 36 for 12 years. We don't have any kids, but we do have a cat and a dog who we consider to be our children. My wife has a sister, Mary, who's 37, and who has made very poor financial choices and is now heavily in debt. She refuses to get a job, and instead jumps from one MLM or get rich quickscammed to the next, sponging off of relatives to make ends meet. Both me and my wife work full time. We each have separate accounts that we use for fun money or hobbies or whatever
Starting point is 00:01:16 we want. We earn almost the same amount of money with me making a little bit more so I contribute 60% and she can contribute 40% to make things fair. And also so we each have about the same amount of fun money. We also have a joint checking and savings account that we use for household bills and household emergencies. Both of us have access to the joint accounts and if we need to use them, it's never been an issue as long as we make sure to tell the other person what we use the money for.
Starting point is 00:01:41 As I was going through the statements for our joint household account, I noticed that there was approximately $2,000 missing from the joint savings account. I noticed they were all Vennmo transfers to her sister. When my wife came home from work, I asked her what this was about, and she told me that her sister needed money to start her own business. My wife sat me down and explained to me that her sister joined yet another effing pyramid scheme. This time selling fake nails and makeup. My wife said that my sister has the potential to earn six figures
Starting point is 00:02:12 a month, and that if that was true, my wife also said that she was going to join her sister selling those products. And if she made enough, she would quit her job and sell them full time with her sister. I told my wife that she either needs to get that money back from her sister, or I would open a new account for my share of the household expenses and transfer it to that account when it was time to pay bills. My wife is upset with me and doesn't understand why I'm being so unsupportive. I told my wife that not only did she take my money and not tell me about it, she invested that money in something without even considering how it would make me feel. My sister-in-law called me last night and said that I was a raging butthole in a control freak, and that I was stopping my wife from using her full potential.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I told my sister-in-law that I would support my wife in anything she chooses to do, as long as it wouldn't cause financial harm to our family. My wife and sister-in-law are both pissed at me, and now I feel like a butthole. Am I the butthole for telling my wife to get the money back? Opie, your wife didn't use her money to invest in her sister's business, she used your money. In fact, with a 60% split, that means you invested 1200 and she invested 800 dollars. If your wife wants to spend her own money to invest in that business, then that's a different matter, but she's spending your money too. Also, it's not like you overreacted
Starting point is 00:03:31 or anything. Basically, you said that if your wife was going to keep doing things like this, then you were just going to have your separate account where you keep your money. I mean, you said you were going to still pay bills, you were still going to contribute to the family, you were just going to change your account so your wife couldn't take your money. If you ask me, that seems perfectly reasonable. OP, your sister-in-law sounds like an idiot and your wife sounds super gullible. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes and I'm giving them two out of five buttholes. And unless you want things to get worse really quickly, I strongly encourage you to stop
Starting point is 00:04:02 your wife from joining that MLM, because otherwise your money is just gonna vanish. Am I the butthole for refusing to reschedule my birthday party thereby forcing my stepbrother out of family celebrations because my stepmom thought that I wouldn't have a party since it isn't a leap year? I was born on February 29th, 2000, so I'm turning 21 in a few days. My dad got married a few months ago. My new stepmom has a son a few years younger than me.
Starting point is 00:04:27 He's 16. My dad is currently abroad for work, and my stepmom decided to take a little holiday out of town with my stepmother. They're supposed to leave tomorrow and come back on March 2nd. I know my family is going to throw me a small party. Apparently, my grandma reached out to my stepmom two weeks ago to ask if she'll be attending. My stepmom freaked out. She told my grandma that she did know that I was having a party since there's no February
Starting point is 00:04:50 29th this year, which is the weirdest logic I've ever heard of anyone use. Does she think that I only celebrate my birthday every 4 years? She's angry because she already booked the holiday, and cancelling it would be really expensive. This party would be the first family gathering in a long time and my step-brother won't be there to enjoy it. My step-mom asked my grandma if it could be shifted to March 3rd. Grandma called me and asked if that would be okay.
Starting point is 00:05:17 I'm not okay with that. March 3rd isn't a weekend. The party is currently scheduled for the 28th of this month, which is a Sunday, so most of my aunts and uncles can make it. They can't make it on March 3rd. Besides, I prefer to have my aunts and uncles over because I'm close to them, as opposed to my stepmom who I met for the first time last month. So I told her no.
Starting point is 00:05:38 My stepmom is super upset that her son won't meet his family, and they don't know the next time there will be a family gathering like this. My dad is staying out of this. He has the very convenient excuse of not being in the country so we can ignore this argument. Yeah, OP, I'm with you on this one. This woman just honestly genuinely thought that you wouldn't have your birthday because this wasn't a leap year? Like what does this lady expect when you go to like get your driver's license
Starting point is 00:06:05 at the age of 16? Hello, yes, I've turned 16. I'd like to get my driver's license please. Well, unfortunately, sir, it says here that you are born on leap year and you've only had four leap years, so legally speaking, you're only four years old. Come back when you're old enough to drive, baby. Like, it's just such a stupid argument. And ultimately, what your stepmom is saying is that her holiday is more important than your holiday. I mean, don't get me wrong. She is every right to think that. If she would rather go off with her kid on some holiday, then she can do that. But if she puts so much value on her holiday, she can't then turn around and say that you're not allowed to put priority on your holiday.
Starting point is 00:06:47 You have just as much a right to care about your holiday as she does hers. So OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your stepmom gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. Also, you said that you're turning 21 in a few days, which technically makes you only 5 years old. So it's completely unreasonable for your stepmom to get so upset at a widow kid. Am I the butthole for blowing up at my husband for eating my daughter's birthday candy? My husband and I have a 12 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. My husband is the no parent. For as long as I can remember, he'll always say no to the kids' requests for snacks or
Starting point is 00:07:23 toys even if they offer to pay with their own cash. I don't undermine my husband when we're together, but when I have the kids alone, I do tend to say yes. Within reason, of course, and not yes to every single thing. Two days ago was my daughter's birthday. It's the second birthday that she's had since we've been in lockdown, so I bought her two boxes of her favorite candy along with gifts. My daughter ate some of the Swedish fish out of the first box, and she decided to save
Starting point is 00:07:48 the rest on her dresser where her brother was too short to reach, and she assumed that her parents wouldn't take any. Well, she was wrong. I awoke to my daughter crying that her dad had eaten her second box of Swedish fish and most of her first box and only left her with a few. I checked the trash in our bedroom and confirmed that my husband had eaten them. I was furious. I screamed at him that he's a grown man who can go to the store and buy whatever the
Starting point is 00:08:15 F he wants without anyone telling him no. Meanwhile he always says no to our kids and the rare time that my daughter gets to eat her favorite candy, he has to eat it. He said we were both making a big deal over candy. I told him it was more than just candy, that he obviously doesn't like seeing his kids happy and he's a thief. I took my kids with me to my sister's house to cool down and I bought my daughter some more Swedish fish to make up for the ones that my husband stole. We're still at my sister's house a day later. Until my husband can truly apologize to his child,
Starting point is 00:08:47 the thought of him disgusts me. Am I the butthole? What? Your husband stole candy from his own kid? I thought stealing candy from children was something that only Disney villains did. Opie, your husband is cartoonishly evil. Why would anyone take delight in stealing joy from your own kids?
Starting point is 00:09:08 In addition to that just being completely screwed up, just on the base level, this is still wrong. He's still someone's birthday present from them. This seems pretty clear to me. Either he apologizes and replaces the candy, or you replace the husband. And your husband says that you're making such a big deal out of candy? Well, if candy isn't a big deal, then why is he stopping his kids from buying their own candy?
Starting point is 00:09:32 OP, your husband sounds bizarrely toxic, like he just likes being mean for the sake of being mean. Like he's a real-life grinch or something. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your daughter naturally gets zero out of five buttholes. Your husband get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your daughter naturally gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your husband gets 4 out of 5 buttholes. And the grand scheme of thing that he did, Steel Candy, isn't that bad, but what makes this guy deserve 4 out of 5 buttholes,
Starting point is 00:09:57 it's just like the pointless, malice, and hatred that comes out of it. I just don't get it. Why would you not want your own flesh and blood daughter to be happy? So you think you know sports? Points Bet is the sportsbook for you because we've got the features for true competitors
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Starting point is 00:11:07 Am I the butthole because I don't want to share my Irish culture with my American classmates? I'm a 16 year old girl, and my family and I recently moved from Dublin, Ireland to a small town in the southern US. It's a real Bible Belt town where it seems like they don't get a lot of foreigners like myself and my family. I recently joined the local high schools of sophomore or 10th grader. It's been a bit of a learning experience and I'm trying to navigate the difference between here and home.
Starting point is 00:11:33 To be honest, it wasn't my idea to move to America, but my parents both have jobs that gave them better opportunities than Dublin was offering and they decided to move out here. I do not like it here. My classmates keep making this big to do about my effing accent, asking me stupid stuff like, have you ever seen a leprechaun? Do you all live in those little stone cottages and wear buckles shoes? Things like that, stereotypes of life in Ireland. Quite if you have asked me to quote the lucky charms bastard or that character from Austin Powers.
Starting point is 00:12:05 It doesn't help that I look like an irosterotype. I've got red hair, pale skin, freckles, and a thick accent. It's all so annoying. I don't like it here. I miss Ireland, my family, my name, my cousins, and all my friends. I had so many friends, and now that I'm living in America, we're all finding it hard to continue being friends. I had so many friends and now that I'm living in America we're all finding it hard to continue being friends. Because Ireland is hours ahead of where I live and it's hard to maintain friendships over Instagram and Facebook. The school that I'm attending
Starting point is 00:12:34 has started having physical classrooms again. One of my history classes this year is focusing on non-American culture so we study different countries. My teacher didn't wait long to ask me to share about my life in the far away land of Ireland. The thing is, I don't want to be some effing show pony for these people. My culture, my country isn't some display to be touted out like this. Where real people, we have real lives. We're not stuck in the 1700s farming sheep.
Starting point is 00:13:02 We have cities and internet and healthcare care. We're a fully evolved society. It's not my job to teach her class. Of course, I'm now seen as some kind of anti-social bully because I told the teacher plainly that I wouldn't agree to her request. Now the school wants to have a sit down with my parents and me because they have concerns about my well-being. I have a classmate who moved here three years ago from Mexico, but the teacher didn't ask him to participate. Am I really such a butthole because I don't want to be used as some kind of performance monkey because I'm from a different country?
Starting point is 00:13:35 Alright OP, so first of all, the teacher probably should have handled that situation differently. You're the new girl, you already feel like an outsider, so her calling you out like that in the middle of class is a little bit inconsiderate. What she should have done was approach you before class started and ask you privately if you'd be okay sharing your bout Ireland. Unfortunately, she didn't do that, so I have to give you a teacher, let's say one out of five buttholes. My suspicion is that the teacher was coming from a good place, and she wanted to give you an opportunity to join the class and share. When they ask you if you've ever seen a leprechaun or if you live in those little stone cottages, personally, I don't think that's insulting. My guess is that they're not really trying to tease you and they're just genuinely curious about you and your culture.
Starting point is 00:14:18 I mean, it sounds ridiculous, but some people really do believe that there are leprechauns out there. So, if your classmates are genuinely curious about you, then I have to get them zero out of five buttholes. If they are actually teasing you, then yeah, I've got to give them two out of five buttholes. As for UOP, I can't really give you a butthole score because I understand that you're really feeling like a fish out of water and you're uncomfortable. Pass that you haven't really done anything wrong, so I have to give you zero out of five blood holes. However, I do wanna clarify that, I don't know how things work in Ireland,
Starting point is 00:14:50 but in America, I think that the way that teacher asked that to you, and you responded by saying that you weren't interested in sharing, people would typically read that in America as being very cold and just kind of anti-social. So I don't think he did anything but holy here, but I understand why people would see that as just coming off as kind of cold.
Starting point is 00:15:12 This is especially true in the south when hospitality has a much stronger cultural meaning. So the teacher inviting you to share and you're rejecting that would probably rub some people the wrong way. Also OP, if I'm kind of reading between the lines here, it sounds like you're really upset about your move and it's giving you a really negative attitude about your current situation. I mean naturally, I probably would be too if I were in your shoes so I don't blame you. Am I the butthole for telling my mom that I'm not going to be your second choice just because my brother died? I'm a 23 year old guy and me and my mom
Starting point is 00:15:45 don't have the best relationship. My parents broke up when I was two. My mom was trying to go to college so I was mostly with my dad and my mom would have me every weekend. When I was six my mom got remarried and then a year later she had my half brother, Tommy. After that, she kept canceling our meetups or the days that I was supposed to spend with her because she was busy. She missed out on my school stuff and then my birthdays. I barely saw her after that and her reason was always that she was busy with my half-brother. I never even met my half-brother, not even once. I could also tell that her husband didn't like me.
Starting point is 00:16:21 He was always serious around me and never actually spoke to me. Years passed, and my relationship with my mom went to total no contact. My dad got married to my stepmom when I was 10, and my stepmom's really great. So, nine months ago, I heard from my grandparents on Facebook that Tommy passed away. I don't know the full details. All I know is that it was some accident, and he had serious injuries. I thought about reaching out to my mom, but it felt weird since we haven't talked in years. But my mom ended up messaging me. First she told me about what happened to Tommy, and then she apologized for not keeping contact with me for years.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Basically, she wants to meet and for us to have a relationship again. It just feels off to me that she's only doing this now after Tommy's past. I know that some of you are going to say that losing him made her realize that she was a terrible mom to me, but still. If Tommy hadn't passed away, then she never would have reached out and she wouldn't be trying to get to know me. I told her this too, and I told her that I'm not interested in having a relationship. This made her push even more, and that we need to do this, and it just seemed like she was not going to let this go. So I said that I'm sorry for what happened to Tommy, but I'm not going to be her second choice.
Starting point is 00:17:34 And that she can't expect me to wonder back because she lost the one child and now she wants to go back to the other one. Maybe in the future I'll feel differently, but not right now. My mom hasn't left me alone and the last last time I talked to my grandparents, they gave me flock about what I told her. And they said that I shouldn't have said that to her after she lost her son. So I'm not sure of what I said was too harsh. That's just how I feel after she dropped out of my life once she had another family. Am I the butthole?
Starting point is 00:18:02 O.P. Please don't feel bad about this situation. Your mother completely cut you out of her life and abandoned you in favor of the new baby. Then after she loses that kid, she expects you to still want to have a relationship with her. Give me a break. Your mother is toxic and your grandparents are toxic. Honestly, OP, I find your mother's behavior disgusting. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your mother gets 5 out of 5 buttholes. What kind of parent treats their own child like a spare tire? That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow
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