rSlash - r/Amithedevil Actually, My Groomer Husband is a Victim

Episode Date: September 5, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:05 Terrible parent 4:32 Mistress 7:22 Scared 10:15 Told you so 13:48 Asked for Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's Shopify.com. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world for, free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.com. Welcome to R-slash, am I the devil, where O.P. clearly hates his daughter's guts. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter that I don't know her

anything and that she needs to learn to be respectful? I'm a 39-year-old man, and I have custody of my daughter, Rose, who's nine, for only a portion of the time. I pick her up every other Friday after school and drop her off at school the next Monday. My ex-wife has her the majority of the time. I want to say that Rose has been diagnosed with ADHD. Being a parent with a disabled child is so much harder than having a normal child is. I've made many sacrifices for Rose. I still have to monitor her as if she's five and have to make sure she doesn't watch TV unless her homework is done. She's also a bad listener and I have to have extreme patience when dealing with her. I also have to split cost with my ex to pay for a math tutor for Rose because she rarely focuses in class.

Last week, I had to pick her up and take her to the grocery store because we needed dinner supplies. I was listing off the dinner ingredients and couldn't remember one. Rose suggested the one I forgot and I told her that was it. She puffed out her chest and said, no need to thank me in a very arrogant way. We were at a red light, so I turned to her and sternly asked, Rose, what did you say? She mumbled out, never mind. I firmly explained to her that that is extremely inconsiderate and disrespectful. I don't owe you anything. I don't have to do half the stuff I do for you,

so you need to really think about the way you talk to me and be grateful. Rose, rather insincerely, mumbled out, sorry, and was quiet for the rest of the time. She sat in the back seat, even when I offered her to sit in the front again. I even offered her ice cream, but she said no and would refuse to. look at me. We got home and she did her homework. A reading project that she was supposed to finish in class that day, without me having to monitor her, but then didn't want to watch a movie with me. She was really quiet for the entire weekend. My ex blew up my phone on Tuesday saying she knows what you told Rose and that I'm a horrible father. My ex is honestly the reason that Rose

acts entitled and still has meltdowns. What am I supposed to do? Stop disciplining Rose just because she has a tantra. As I said, I make many sacrifices to help Rose. I drive Rose to and from school so she doesn't have to walk the three miles. I buy her toys and other things, and just last month I agreed to babysit Rose for three days when my ex's mother was in the hospital. My father was barely in my life. He wouldn't buy me things and would make me walk home. Rose isn't a baby anymore.

She's old enough that she needs to learn to be grateful when people do things for her. Because they don't have to, and her actions attitude won't work in the real world. I could have been gentler, but sometimes showing tough love is necessary to correct bad behavior when coddling won't fix it. Am I the butthole? So first off, literally every single thing this guy mentions is going above and beyond is actually the bare minimum of being an acceptable dad.

Driving her to school? Buying her the occasional toy? Making sure she finishes homework before TV? Paying for half of her stuff? Yo, dude, you signed up for all that when you got. a woman pregnant. That's literally fatherhood. And then the joke she made, no need to thank me. It's not even mean or rude. She's just being funny. It's like an acceptably funny. Ha ha, I'm the best. Aren't I so amazing joke that is a completely

appropriate for a nine-year-old and doesn't put down anyone? There is no implication that because she's amazing, therefore O.P. is not amazing. I think is what O.P.'s going for. But that's not the joke. O.P., are you literally stupid? Do you not understand basic, like, 101 level comedy? And then to top it all off, your response was to say, I don't owe you anything to a nine-year-old? Yeah, you actually, literally, legally, and ethically do. If you disagree, go to court and look at the judge in the eyes and say, I don't owe that child anything. See how that goes for you, dude. Opie, I understand that you don't know how to be a good dad because you don't have a good dad in your life, so I guess

you're modeling your behavior off of your terrible dad. Honestly, your daughter might be better off without you in her life because you sound like an utterly insufferable, miserable person to be around. I am not surprised that your wife left you. Am I the butthole for refusing to see my husband's teenage mistress as a victim? I'm a 62-year-old woman and I've been with my husband who's 52 for three years, married for not even one. We moved to a different country together and live a nice, quiet life in rural Europe. A few days ago, his phone was buzzing off the hook while he was in the shower. Thinking it was news about his sister who had been ill back in the U.S., I checked the screen and saw many notifications. I looked through everything, and long story short, he had been cheating on me

online with a high schooler. From what I can tell, it had been going on for more than a year, and when I confronted him about it, he told me what I believe is the whole truth. They'd started talking when she was 15 and she was now 17. I felt sick, obviously, and demanded to know how serious it was. Evidently, it was pretty serious. He sent her money every month, bought her underwear, asked and received inappropriate photos of her, and paid for practically anything she asked for, as well as spent hours of time talking to her a day. They even talked about marriage.

Additionally, the total amount of gifts and money and things she had received totaled more than $10,000. We are not rich by any means, so this was a lot of money. I left the house and have been staying at a hotel. I haven't told my family. I'm too humiliated. I don't believe he's attracted to children. I saw photos of her, and while she looks her age, she doesn't act like a child, and it was an online thing, not physical. The whole thing has made me insecure about my appearance, as she looks my exact opposite. And I stupidly went to the extent of dyeing my hair the same color as hers to alleviate the feeling of being unattractive to him. In their messages, he admitted to thinking about her while being intimate with me, which just made me resent her further. She knew he was

with me, and I understand that as the victim here, I may not be thinking straight, but I still love him. I don't know what to do or think. When I confided in my longtime friend, she was furious and told me that if I didn't report him to the police, I would be enabling the exploitation of a child, but I don't agree. She isn't a child. She knew that we were married and she chose to be a homewrecker. I don't see her as the victim here, which is why my friend called me a butthole and blocked me. I understand that she's young, but I'm the one who was betrayed. Am I the butthole for not seeing her as a victim? Not seeing a 15 year old girl as a victim? Not seeing her as a child, O.P., really? Well, even if you don't see her as a victim or as a child, the court system certainly does. The law. The

legal system certainly does. Yeah, this title really sums it up. Your husband is a predator and you're a butthole. Am I the butthole for playing a game while my pregnant wife was scared? My wife was pregnant for the first time. We were both in our early 30s. Getting pregnant was difficult for us, and it exacerbated a pattern that we'd observed before of me putting my feelings aside to give her what she wants. Not the pregnancy. We both firmly wanted that. In an attempt to reconcile that, we agreed that I needed something extracurricular. I need some effing friends, or at least friendly acquaintances outside my house. So I joined a volleyball league.

I'm pretty good and I really enjoy it, and I found an opening in a really strong rec league with a group of complete strangers. I'm a setter, arguably the worst position to have a non-position player in. It's like you can move your fielders around in baseball a bit, but you put one on the mound and we're not being serious anymore. It's a lot like that to throw a non-setter into a high-level. offense. It just drags the whole level of playdown for both teams. The week leading up to our first game, my wife had some light spotting. Her doctor said to monitor it, but it sounds fine, we don't need

to see you. The day of my first game, my wife called the hospital, not her doctor. I'm unclear, but I believe the conversation involved my wife asking questions that a nurse can't answer over the phone until they said to her, we really can't know anymore unless you come into the emergency room for some tests. She calls me while I'm driving to the game, telling me they told her to go to the emergency room. I pull over, trying to understand. When I'm able to understand that her condition hasn't changed, and I got a version of her conversation with the nurse, I tell her I'm very sure there's no reason to go into the emergency room. Her doctor is unavailable for comment at this hour, but told us the prior week and reconfirmed to be true after this incident. I tried to convince her that the healthiest thing for her

and the baby would be to stay home and rest. She insisted on going to the emergency room. I went and played my game. I went to the emergency room afterwards. She had not been seen. Later, they ran some tests, gave us a shrug, and said, we think you and your baby are fine. About two months later, she did miscarry. I don't think there's anything any medical professional could have done to prevent it, but I can't help but think about the stress she went through that day. If I had skipped volleyball, I might have convinced her not to go, or at least if I'm there, she's got less cortisol. Most of the time when I think about this, I'm unsure if I was mean to my wife. Occasionally, I find myself blaming myself for the miscarriage.

Skipping that game would have really screwed both teams, as a first impression in the league, which wouldn't be super important for a random rec league, except that this league was a lifeline for my mental health, and it did help a lot. My wife was wrong to be so worried, but she was worried. I don't know, man. tell me what you think. I don't know, man. The health of your wife and baby versus a volleyball game. That's a real tough one, hard to figure out, which one could possibly be more important. Am I the butthole for basically telling my boyfriend, I told you so after he got himself fired?

My boyfriend worked remotely for a company, which I won't disclose for privacy reasons. He would always complain about how his job didn't pay enough and how there wasn't much upward mobility. The only benefit his job had was being able to work anywhere in the country in the United States, and his co-workers were sweet. I would tag along with him to his afterwork functions, and I bonded with his co-workers over anime, lull. Unfortunately, there's no way possible for my job to be fully remote. I would love for a remote job, but it's just not possible right now. But I do make more money than my boyfriend does, and he definitely has more work-life balance than I do. I even told him that he should have taken advantage of the work-life balance,

because he didn't go out or travel as much unless it was something music related. He only began traveling recently, and I was happy for him, until I found out that he was basically working two jobs at once, without informing his company. That's a breach of contract between him and his employer. So for context, my boyfriend is also a musician, and he's been performing a ton with his band, which I will also not disclose for privacy reasons.

He's actually been making a decent amount of money through the shows he plays, And his band has gotten some interesting offers like playing for festivals and opening for larger acts. I asked him if his company allowed him to work as a traveling musician while clocked into work. The obvious answer was, no, they didn't allow that at all because they never knew that he was doing that. We got into a huge fight over this. I told him that he needs to get permission from his job before he decides to basically work two jobs at once. He didn't think it was a big deal as long as they didn't know. But what's worse is that I had no clue he was doing this for just under a year.

The entire time, he's been risking his income in such a stupid way. I tried pleading with him, but he wasn't taking anything I said seriously. So I privately asked his coworker if she could talk some sense into him. She didn't care about what he was doing, but she must have mentioned this to other coworkers, and it resulted in him getting terminated. He lost his job, and he's freaking out and blaming me for his own recklessness. But this is exactly what I warned him about. We got into another huge argument where he accused me of doing this on purpose,

and I told him that if he would have just listened to what I told him first, then he would still be employed. He broke up with me after that comment, called me a shithead, and left. Obie, this isn't an I told you so situation. You literally did that. This is like saying, don't smoke because you could set the house on fire, and then you go take a blowtorch and set the house on fire yourself, and then you say, ha, see, I told you, smoking catches the house on fire.

You did it, O.P., you did. Also, why did you do it? You narc? Who cares? Working two jobs? Who cares? Do you charge at people who jaywalk on this street and tackle them and call the cops and hold them pinned to the asphalt until the police arrive? Officer, I found this person jaywalking.

No need to thank me. I'm just a concerned citizen. I don't even know if having a band does count as a second job. It's like a gig slash hobby. You know, does investing in the stock market count? Does having a garage sale count? It's her really stupid thing to lose your job over. O.P., you suck, and the company that guy works for also sucks. Our next Reddit post is from Drew's thoughts. I liked my friend for six years now, and recently, I thought that she liked me back too. We never dated, but things were headed that way, I think. I started getting frustrated because she refused to send me pictures of herself when I asked,

and she wasn't very emotionally open with me, and she always seemed to prioritize other people, like her family and her best friend, who openly expresses dislike for me, which I don't understand. Her grandmother was having bad health and memory problems when we were talking, but I still felt like that wasn't an excuse to make no effort in our relationship. So the same day when she told me that, I told her she needed to get her act together. I also told her that she lets her parents control her way too much, and that as someone who's basically adult, she should make more of her own decisions and make time for me.

She doesn't need to spend every day with her family. We kind of stop talking, because I'm still mad at her. She told me that I was talking to her as if we were already in a relationship when we never actually were, and that I was being hurtful and lacking compassion for her current. situation. I just don't want her to find someone better than me and leave me. But everyone says she's out of my league, so maybe I'm kidding myself. Looking back, I can see why she was so upset with me, but I also felt ignored and unimportant. Am I the butthole? I mean, here's a crazy thought. Maybe

instead of being controlling and manipulative and guilting her into spending time with you so she doesn't find someone better, you could just be better, become better. Then maybe she would want to spend time with you. Kind of a crazy thought, right? That was our slash am I the devil. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Two and five

Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21

kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca.ca.