rSlash - r/Amithedevil I Accidentally Poisoned My Girlfriend - Oops!

Episode Date: March 15, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Bathroom 2:55 Pregnancy fears 7:18 Four leaf clover 13:50 Custody rights Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am i the devil where OP maces his girlfriend. Our next reddit post comes from r slash am i the butthole. Am i the butthole for tidying up the bathroom while my girlfriend was in the shower? I'm a 32 year old man and my girlfriend is 31. We just moved into an apartment together a few months ago and I've been slacking on the cleaning. She hasn't really said anything, but I've noticed her saying things under her breath or making some comment during dinner.

I'm not a misogynist. I know men gotta clean and stuff too. I just never really misogynist. I know men gotta clean and stuff too. I just never really did much of it. I mean, I cleaned, of course, just not like my neat freak girlfriend. Anyways, I decided to clean the house before she got home from the gym, but I hadn't finished by the time she got home. Mind you, when she came home and saw what I was doing, she was really, really happy. I got a big smooch and promise of some fun times after her shower, so naturally, I went into hurry up and get it done. She hopped

in the shower, but I hadn't finished the bathroom yet. Our bathroom is kinda big, so I figured I could sneak in while she was showering. Not to be a creep. The shower curtain is dark, you can't even see through it, to get the cleaning done. I do have a tendency to get distracted, so while I was bringing in the stuff to quickly clean the floor, I left my phone playing the podcast I was listening to in the other room. Not thinking, I just quickly mixed together some bleach and vinegar to get it cleaned fast. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I'm an idiot.

I figured the vinegar would speed up the process, but I didn't even think about how bad it smelled. Well, after I mixed it, I quickly went out to grab my phone and turn off the podcast when I heard my girlfriend scream. I run back to the bathroom, but the steam was literally burning my eyes. She had the shower so hot, and she comes out, fully naked mind you, yelling at me, calling me an idiot and everything. She dumped the cleaning stuff down the drain and closed the bathroom door,

literally freaking out at me. Again, she's butt naked and we're in the living room at that point with windows pointed at the courtyard. Long story short, she's on our patio crying and told me she's not mad at me but she needs time to heal and said that I should probably drive around for a bit. So now I'm sitting in my car wondering what the hell I did to upset her so badly. Am I the butthole? For those who don't know, bleach plus vinegar creates chlorine gas which can cause coughing, breathing problems, burning, and watery eyes. Some people in the comments are saying it's deadly toxic and I'm not sure if that's true. I know that bleach plus ammonia creates

toxic gas but I don't know if there's ammonia in vinegar. So to be super clear, OP didn't attempt to murder his girlfriend. He merely maced her which you know is still pretty bad. If you guys don't know this, don't mix bleach with anything. Bleach is a very dangerous chemical and it just doesn't play well with other chemicals. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 31 year old guy and my girlfriend is 29 and she broke up with me because of my constant pregnancy fears. I've been with my girlfriend, Lily, for 7 years. We overall have a great relationship and I know that I love her very much. For the past

three years, she's been pushing for a proposal. She wants to start a family soon and have many kids, at least three. I'm not sure if I ever want to get married, but I know that I don't want my life without her. She keeps asking if I ever plan to do it and I usually dismiss her because, in all honesty, talking about it gives me anxiety. Now, the reason she broke up with me is because this month she had a pregnancy scare. She was two days late and we saw a very faint line on the pregnancy test. I freaked out because I am not ready to get married, let alone be a father. Now, I'm not sure if I want kids at all. I don't see myself as that father figure. I am all up for being the fun uncle and I have fun with him but when it comes to actually

having one of my own, I don't want it. I freaked and kept waking her up at 2am or 4am asking her to please go to the hospital so she can have blood work done to be sure if she was pregnant. She said she wasn't going to do that, that she wasn't probably pregnant since she did have an IUD and I pulled it out. But I read online that there can always be a chance. It's not 100% guaranteed that you won't get pregnant. I kept badgering her to go and she got mad at me saying that this would be the fifth time she's going to the hospital to get tested because I believe she's pregnant.

Yeah, this has happened in the past, and I usually freak out because I know that I'm just not ready to have kids. Maybe one day I'll want them, but just not now. We went to the hospital and she wasn't pregnant. I was relieved to say the least. Later that day, she told me she wants to break up. That she can't handle this every month. That even if I didn't freak out about pregnancy, she wants to be with someone that doesn't stress and keeps her calm. That she wants someone who knows what they want. That I told her when I was 25 that I wanted kids and I made her feel secure about this. When I was 24 and she was 23, I told her I never wanted to have kids. She tried breaking up with me saying it wouldn't work

long term if we want different things. But then I changed my mind and told her that I want kids when I'm 30. But now I realize I probably said that so she wouldn't break up with me. That she can't even talk to me about proposing because I always dismiss her and she truly believes that I don't plan to do it. I think I will propose eventually, but I'm just too lazy to buy a ring and do the whole proposal thing. Some more backstory. Before I limited sex to once every two months because of how paranoid I was about her getting pregnant every month even though we used a condom. It was a constant struggle every month waiting for her period to make sure that she wasn't

pregnant. We worked out the system and that's why she got the IUD. But then I read there's still a 2% chance failure about pregnancy. I don't know how to get over this pregnant paranoia. I don't want to lose her and now I realize that having kids is better than losing her, but I still don't know. She left the apartment and went to stay with her parents and I'm distraught right now. She also told me there's more reason she wants to break up.

That I never made her feel beautiful. I would tell her to change her clothes if they made her look fat if we were visiting my family, but my family is very into appearance and being fit. She also said she hates not being able to go out and celebrate things. Yeah, I limit going out to three times a year because even though we both make good money, we live in a very expensive city, and there's no point in going out when we can cook at home. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her, but she seems very set in this decision. Has anyone never wanted kids but then changed their mind? I think I might want them, but definitely not now.

Maybe when I'm 34 or 35. What can I do to get my girlfriend back? Oh, he is stressing me out. He is so anxious and controlling and frantic. Why wake her up at 2am? Why not just wait until 9am and then ask her to go to the hospital then? Why ask her to go to the hospital at all? Why not just get a pregnancy test? OP needs to mellow out, man. Dude is so stressful. I'm honestly shocked that she lasted seven years with this guy. I don't know if I could last seven days with this level of anxiety.

Our next Reddit post comes from r slash amithabudhole relationships. Am I the butthole for breaking up with my girlfriend over four leaf clovers? I'm a 21 year old woman and my now ex-girlfriend who's 22, we've been together for two years and last spring we decided to go on a four-leaf clover hunting date. She didn't find any, but I found three of them. Ever since I was young, I've had special luck with finding them. I have a collection of them, actually.

I find them without even looking. Mary, my ex, has also been searching for four-leaf clovers since she was young. She's never found one, ever, so naturally I brag about it. It's always been like a fun little playful thing between us. I'm just luckier than her I guess. Anyway, to yesterday, the problem. We went on our four-leaf clover date again. Within the first 10 minutes, she finds her first four-leaf clover. We cheer and I take her picture with it. I'm happy for her, but I'm also upset because

I wanted to have been the one to find the first one. It's my thing. We keep looking for another 10 minutes and I find one, so I hate life a little less. I found another. She cheers for me and we move on, looking at different clover patches. This is where everything goes to actual hell for me. I hear her yell excitedly and I think she's found another one. I tell her cool and move on. She runs up to me and shows me an effing 6 leaf clover. I just stare at her. I grab it out of her hand.

What the hell? How does someone who's never found a 4 leaf clover find a 6 leaf clover? Those odds are literally insane. I look at it closely to make sure she's not either lying just to get at me or that she's not stupid and it's actually just two clovers stuck together or something. But no, it's actually a six-leaf clover. I'm actually so pissed. Why does she get to find a six-leaf clover? Hello? Who finds a six a six leaf clover? So anyway, I tell her that's insane and I'm taking it. She gets sad and says,

nuh-uh, she found it, it's hers. We start arguing about who deserves the clover. I tell her I do because I'm a veteran clover hunter and deserve this to be in my collection. She goes on about it being sentimental or something. She does this stupid manipulation tactic where she starts effing crying to make me feel bad. It's BS honestly. I tell her to suck it up. I'm keeping the clover. She huffs and wanders off to the car in tears. Whatever. She's being ridiculous. I take my time and look around some more and find two more clovers. I got bored and decide to leave to see if she's done pouting. She sat in the effing back seat with her arms crossed.

I tell her to stop being dramatic and get into the front seat. She effing snaps. She starts screaming, calling me all sorts of nasty names. She said I'm manipulative, controlling, and all kinds of other BS. I have never in my entire effing life been called any of these words. So I'm not sure where she got it from. I just looked at her while she screamed and hit the back of my seat. She finished screaming like an idiot and I let a few minutes of silence go by.

She asked me if I was going to say anything. I shrugged at her because like what does she want from me? She told me to go f myself and to take her home. I shrugged again and pulled out with her in the back seat. She lives a decent drive from the park where we went clover picking so the car ride was tense and awkward. She would just randomly sniffle and it started to get on my nerves. But I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hear her complain anymore. About 15 minutes into our ride, I decide that I couldn't have this anymore. This isn't the first time this has happened. She's so selfish and never lets me have anything to myself and never listens to my side of things. She always does this type of crying stuff and then says she just wants me to

be nice to her, which I am? I don't know, so anyways, we're 15 minutes into the ride and I speak up and tell her that I think we need to break up. She lets out a noise like scoffing at me and I didn't like that so I just decided to give it to her. I told her how I think that she should have given me the clover because it was the right thing to do and she's incredibly selfish for not wanting to give it up and see me happy. She stayed silent until we got to her house. As she was getting out of the car, she told me that I'm the biggest butthole that she's

ever encountered. And she can't believe she let herself love me, blah blah blah. I'm not a butthole. I don't think I am. I told my friend about this and he thinks we're both but butthole. I don't think I am. I told my friend about this and he thinks we're both buttholes, so I don't know. Then OP includes a picture of the six leaf clover and sure enough, they found one. Or excuse me, they didn't find one. Her ex-girlfriend is the one who found it to be super clear.

Then OP posted an update. I gave the six leaf clover back. It's been a few days and a lot has happened. I've read all the comments and appreciate the genuine feedback I've gotten and realize that I am, in fact, the butthole. I think a few of you went way too far. I had people actually DM me with how hateful and harsh you were in your efforts to make me see that I'm the butthole. But those of you who called out my problematic behavior and recommended I look into therapy

are appreciated. I personally have a very complicated relationship with therapy and mental health, so I think I won't be getting therapy. I'll just try to be more aware of my actions going forward. I did tell my ex that she should maybe look into therapy. She didn't take that too well, but I hope she changes her mind. She's the type to believe in that stuff, and maybe it'll help more than it would help me. Anyway, yeah, I gave the clover back. It was hard, not gonna lie.

Part of me wanted to keep it and never look back, but someone said that I would always look at my collection and know the six-leaf one wasn't mine and they were right. I want my own six-leaf clover, not one that an ex found. Also, and for all the people who said they hoped I'd never find another 4-leaf clover, F you! I found one yesterday. Okay, OP might actually be nutso. Why is she so uptight and mean and selfish and possessive over something so minor. She honest to God, she acts worse than the three year olds in my daughter's pre-kindergarten

class. This could have been a really sweet bonding moment because your girlfriend joined your hobby and is excelling at it, but instead OP was just unnecessarily competitive and to be honest, nasty about it. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash LegalAdvice. My husband and I lost custody of our daughter to my sister. Our parental rights were terminated on the grounds of abandonment. I left my daughter and the care of my sister back in 2013.

My husband was offered a job outside the country, but I didn't want to take my daughter along because she has medical issues and had just started school. We had a guardianship agreement and we were supposed to come back to the US the following year. However, my husband's contract was extended, so we stayed. The custody battle started in 2016 when my sister tried to receive government aid for my daughter. I was ordered to pay child support, which I happily did. My sister wasn't satisfied with that and petitioned for custody again in 2018. They terminated our rights this year. They claimed we abandoned her because we hadn't seen her since 2013 and paying child support

did not count as being a part of her life. I really want my daughter back and we plan on coming back home to the US either later this year or early 2022 for certain. Is there any way I can regain custody of my daughter? My daughter is in Alabama and we're currently in the UK. So, 9 years of no contact. You'll be lucky if your daughter even recognizes you at that point. Honestly, OP just wanted a 9 year break from a mom, and now she's starting to have second thoughts.

Well, too bad. Sounds like she has a new mom who actually cares about her. That was r slash am I the devil, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.