rSlash - r/Amithedevil I Dumped My GF While Her Dad was Dying

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:12 Attraction 4:54 Friend over wife 7:58 Comment 9:02 Weird 11:43 Coerced 14:50 All time POS 17:48 Best comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm struggling to stay faithful and remain attracted to my wife after we experienced a violent attack together. I'm not sure what to do. I'm 34 and my wife is 28. I can't talk to anyone about this for obvious reasons. I even tried speaking to my therapist and they made me feel so low that I haven't gone back since.

My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 3. We currently have a bundle of joy on the way and she's about 5 months along. My wife was always on the fence about kids, but I was adamant about wanting them and now that it's becoming so real, I'm not sure anymore. I feel like I've just been on autopilot and after spending this whole week buying baby stuff I need to figure it out. Last year my wife and I were at the park relaxing like we do almost every weekend and someone yelled at us for speaking in my native language, Korean.

My wife is trying to learn because she's not Korean or Asian at all, but wants to only speak Korean at home to make sure our family is fully bilingual and they don't lose our culture. We were practicing Korean out loud and sharing a snack, and this guy just walks up to us out of nowhere with wild racist BS. He kicked our food and there was some arguing, and while I was calling the cops with my back turned he tried to hit me with a pretty large rock. My wife jumped in between and ended up taking the full force of the hit, which literally

busted her forehead open and knocked her out cold for almost a minute. I rushed my wife to the hospital and the guy ran off and was eventually caught by police a few weeks later. My wife needed 14 stitches right across her face and had two black eyes with blood in them. Her face was swollen beyond recognition for a few days. And when she fell, she messed up an old knee injury so when she got out of the hospital the next day, half her face was covered in bandages and she was limping.

But she was still cracking jokes in the ER. After the bandages and stitches came out, she was told that she would need to wait at least a year before having her scar surgically fixed or whatever treatments. But now that the year has almost passed, I've started hinting at her that she should schedule appointments. This entire time, I've been struggling to remain attracted to her, but I didn't tell her since I didn't want to be cruel. She's now saying that she doesn't want to do treatment because she wants to save money for the baby.

I've offered to pay for half of it and she hasn't really looked into having it done. I've also pushed back her meeting my parents again because of this. They live outside the country, which is why they haven't met yet. I also haven't brought friends around my house since it happened. Another part of me is also just sort of mad that she even did it. I feel like half a man now and I've had to delete myself off dating apps before making a mistake and I've been channeling everything into the gym. But every time I look at her, I'm reminded of all those feelings.

She hasn't changed a bit other than the scar and she's obviously handled it way better than I did. But somehow it makes me love her less. This plus the pregnancy, I don't even know what to do. Oh my god. Oh my god. I thought about asking for a hall pass, but I know without a doubt that she'll leave me.

I thought about taking care of my needs on the side so I can be the man she needs me to be, but I know that she'll eventually find out and she'll hate me and make my life hell or leave me a single father and I'll never hear from her again. I just wish it had never happened, but I really need some other perspective or opinions about this. And for context, OP deleted this post because, as you might imagine, he's getting absolutely dragged in the comments. Your wife potentially saved your life when you weren't being the man protecting your

wife from the situation, removing both of you from this racist attacker. And then your response is, Well, my wife is a big uggo, so I'm thinking about cheating, maybe downloading Tinder. I just don't really love her anymore. I'm so ashamed of her, I don't want my friends or my family to see her. Ugh, I'd be so embarrassed if they saw my ugly wife. Yo, this dude. So I don't know a whole lot about head injuries, but I've heard that in boxing, you're not

supposed to punch the back of the other boxer's head because it can cause really serious brain damage. So presumably, getting hit in the back of the head with a rock is even worse than getting punched in the back of the head. So if OP's wife hadn't taken the blow for OP, then OP would probably be even more brain damaged than he already is. Man, what a douchebag! Our next reddit post is from r slash amithebutthole.

Am I the butthole for prioritizing a friend over my pregnant wife? And OP deleted this post, but thankfully it got saved to r slash amithedevil. I'm a 29 year old guy and my wife is 28 We got married last summer. She's currently seven months pregnant with our first child She had an appointment with her OBGYN two weeks ago to address some complications with the pregnancy The doctor wasn't overly concerned and confirmed that both my wife and my baby are healthy but our doctor did recommend my wife starting her maternity leave early and taking as much bed rest as possible.

A few days after that appointment, the fiance of my best friend, Brian, passed away in a car accident. Brian and I have been best friends since we were three. We lived on the same street growing up. He was a groomsman in my wedding and he asked me to be one for him as well. Their wedding was supposed to be this summer. Brian and I live about an hour away from each other now, so we don't see each other as often, usually only a few times a year on special occasions.

But as soon as I got the news about his fiancé, I immediately drove over to be with him. I've been juggling helping Brian with everything I can, while also taking care of my wife and everything she needs. On top of that, I'm still working full time. I've driven over to Brian's house a few nights after work just to hang out with him, and I spent one night there last weekend to help him with some things. His fiance's funeral is scheduled for next week, so I've been helping him with that

as much as I can as well. A couple nights ago, I told my wife that I planned on driving down to Brian's one night this week just to hang out and keep him company. This started an argument between us because my wife feels like I'm prioritizing Brian too much and neglecting her. She said that she needs me at home to help her because she doesn't want to go against the doctor's orders and do too much. She told me that her and the baby need to be my number one priority right now, not Brian.

I told her that I'm trying to juggle everything and I understand that she needs my help, but Brian is at the lowest point in his life and I need to be there for him. She told me that I don't need to be there for him, that I'm making a choice to be there for him instead of being at home taking care of her needs. I told her that I'm just trying to get Brian through the funeral and then I'll make sure that I'm more attentive to things at home. She told me that Brian has other friends and family that can be there for him and that I'm spending too much time with him.

She said that the health of her and the baby should be more important to me than anything else right now, including Brian, and that she needs me at home as much as possible. I told her that she was being unreasonable and that I'm not going to abandon my best friend in his darkest days. She's now giving me the silent treatment unless she needs something from me. If I try to talk with her, she'll make some comment like, why don't you talk to Brian since he's more important than I am? I understand that she's stressed and hormonal, but she's never been this outright mean about

anything. Am I wrong here? Okay, alright, I'm glad that the top post echoed my exact thoughts here because something wasn't adding up. According ad says, not overly concerned and put on bed rest, don't go in a conversation together. Yeah, bed rest at seven months pregnant is super not normal. In fact, I know this because my wife was pregnant, women can actually exercise when they're nine months pregnant, like lift weights or do yoga. I mean, not in every situation obviously, but if the woman's healthy and if she feels fine,

it's actually okay. So the fact that your wife is on bed rest at seven months means something's actually going on. And, and OP, it means that you're lying about this story because a doctor's not going to order bed rest if everything is just perfectly fine. So if you're lying about that makes me wonder what else you're lying about in this story, OP. But the thing is, even if you're not lying,

even if the rest of the story is accurate, you still look bad. So if you're lying on top of that, then you're EXTRA bad, OP. Yes, you should be prioritizing your wife and your baby. You're not married to your friend, you're married to your wife. Your friend's not carrying your baby, your wife's carrying your baby, dude. Am I the butthole for refusing to reevaluate my relationship to appease my sister? I'm a 33 year old woman and I've been with my husband, Adam, who's 35 for 14 years. Adam has a 15 year old from a previous relationship and we've got two children who are 8 and 2. My sister, who's 19, recently moved in with me.

She's doing an apprenticeship and my house is closer. My sister has always been the happiest person I know. She has ADHD, which my husband equates to her carefree nature. I wouldn't know. But it's like the moment that my husband comes home, my sister is an entirely different person. She's on edge, she's stressed and snappy, and she's never like that. My husband has made a few comments that he hopes that she's not like that at work and

she's too old to be acting like a teenager still. My husband has autism and there's been a few moments that do make me cringe like when my sister gets home from shopping he'll ask, what'd you get me? Where's my hug? And there's been a few instances of him eating her food or accidentally taking some of her money if she leaves it next to her bag. He's just impulsive. I've explained to my sister that she should understand that he's impulsive and he's

apologized saying that he didn't realize it'd be a big deal, that they're family. I don't think these few instances warrant my sister being so tense. She's been complaining about reoccurring migraines and I know that she's been having them because my stepdaughter tells me that she hears my sister crying at night. My friends have said that I really need to reevaluate my relationship with my husband if I even like my sister. But the thing is, my sister hasn't even complained. These are just things that I've noticed and I tend to overthink things. I spoke to her and she said that she'd never involve herself in my relationship like that. OP, did you really just admit that your sister is crying herself to sleep?

And you're like, hmm, I wonder if something is wrong here. Okay, so your husband saying, what'd you get me is like a dumb joke. I'll give the guy a pass for that because you know, it's just, it's a stupid joke. It's not funny, but it's not a big deal. But where's my hug is a red flag. How about you don't get a hug dude, unless she wants to hug you and him accidentally taking money. Girl, that's not accidentally taking money. That's just straight up stealing. Makes you wonder what else he might be stealing, hmm, like maybe underwear? The way this reads, it sounds like the husband has either done something to the sister or is slowly building up to do something to the sister and the sister is too scared to tell

OP. And OP is just too oblivious to realize something's wrong. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash advice. My wife had our son three months ago. Now she's begging me to get him out of the house. I'm 31 and my wife is 28. We met when she was 22. We hit it off and we married within a year.

She's always been child free and told me that from the start. I figured she was just young and free and eventually she would settle down like every other woman out there. Well eventually it started looking like she was actually serious and she wanted to get her tubes removed. This really bothered me and I told her I think that I'd be upset if she did that. Eventually I managed to get her to agree to have one kid so we started trying right away and she still wanted to get her tubes removed immediately after. We got pregnant fast! It was incredible! Everything went smoothly during the pregnancy

and my wife gave birth to our son. My advice request comes into play here. My wife hasn't been the same since he was born. She cries more than our baby does. She doesn't seem to want to hold him and she refuses to let him nurse from her. He's on formula we can barely afford even though she has the ability to nurse him. She used to be fun, bubbly, joking. Now it's like she's a completely different person. Yesterday I came home from work to both of them crying and screaming and my wife said get him out of my house! Referring to our son.

I didn't know what to do so I took him to my parents house and came back home and my wife was still in the same spot, crying, telling me her life is ruined and that she had thoughts of running away. I have no idea what to do here. I feel my wife has a duty to our son to nurse and love him. Yet she's trying to abandon him. Should I call CPS to talk to her about what she's doing? A hospital for her?

What can I do about this? Is splitting up and me taking our son the best route? How else do I get him out of the house? So right after I finished reading this story, I had to go to the bathroom. So I stopped the recording, came back and just having a couple of minutes just to think, wait a second. hold on, something's not adding up. I realized a discrepancy that's really subtle here. OP clearly has old fashioned gender role values, right?

He thinks that all women are destined to have kids. And he spit out that line that was like, I believe it's my wife's responsibility to nurse and love my baby. Right? So that's very much like women are caregivers. So if we expand that out, we have to assume that OP also believes in masculine gender roles, in which case the man is meant to be the protector and the provider. And yet, if OP is supposed to be the provider, he can't afford formula. So it's not okay for the wife to struggle with being maternal, but it is okay for OP

to struggle with being paternal and it's his wife's responsibility to pick up for his failings as a man. And that hypocrisy is on top of the fact that he just literally didn't listen to his wife. And the husband says, well, I think you do want kids. Let me knock you up and that'll knock some sense into you. Our next Reddit post is from rslashoffmychest. I broke up with my girlfriend over text when her dad was dying and she just killed herself? Yo what?

My girlfriend of two and a half years was a wonderful person. She was so patient and supportive of me when I got laid off. I knew that she had issues with depression and suicidal ideation in her past, but she was on meds and it seemed to be in the past. Her dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor. For eight months, he was in and out of the hospital as his health slowly faded. My girlfriend was under an enormous amount of stress. She lost interest in passionate hugging and became emotionally distant and volatile. I realized I was no longer attracted to her and I felt like I was a bad person for that

and I would be an even worse person if I broke up with her. She eventually went to stay with her mom and dad as his mental health failed. I stayed behind and I ended up cheating on her with a friend of mine who I'd always thought was attractive. Wow. I felt like total garbage. When her dad got into hospice care, she asked me to fly out to be by her side while he died. I told her I would, but right before I was about to buy a plane ticket, I felt so overwhelmed

with guilt about what I did that I couldn't do it. I stayed up all night feeling sick, knowing that I needed to call her. But instead, like a coward, I texted her that I didn't think that we should see each other anymore. I ignored all of her phone calls and texts and blocked her everywhere. I blocked all of her friends on social media as well. My friend and I started dating shortly thereafter. Alright, that was three months ago. I've ignored every attempt she's made to get in touch with me and filed a restraining

order against her. Last week, I got word that she killed herself. There's a note for me and I can't bring myself to read it. I'm in such shock that I don't think that I'm capable of feeling anything. I think that if I were to read her note, I would disassociate completely. I can't handle this. Yo, you know who else couldn't handle this? Your girlfriend. Your girlfriend who was watching her father die in front of her. Your girlfriend who had a unsupportive boyfriend. Your girlfriend who got abandoned by one of the few remaining men that she loved

who immediately filed a restraining order for some reason and who cheated on her. She also couldn't handle it because you were. Oh man, I shouldn't be laughing. This is like a cope laugh. You guys. Oh, P. You're a monster. You're an actual horrific beast. What you did the way you're a monster. You're an actual horrific beast. What you did, the way you treated your girlfriend, I couldn't even bring myself to treat an

enemy like that. And of course, if you're curious, in true coward fashion, OP deleted the post. But it was saved to r slash amidhthedevil, which is why I love this subreddit. Because cowards just can't take the heat, man. I love this comment. I love this comment from General Kangaroo. You should have to read that letter every morning for the rest of your effing life. That was r slash am I the devil. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.