rSlash - r/AmITheDevil I HATE My Family!

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:07 Stolen announcement 4:46 Therapy 7:31 Comment 7:54 Family matters 12:23 Hate my life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is sponsored by Aura. My three-year-old has recently discovered that she can ask to video call grandma on the phone. Her grandma has been absolutely loving it, as you can imagine, because she wants as much contact with her granddaughter as possible. So that's why I've also been uploading pictures to our Aura frame. Aura makes digital picture frames that are connected online. If grandma wants a picture of her grandbaby, all I have to do is open the app, upload the photo from my phone, and send it automatically to grandma's picture frame. Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter, and Fast Company said this simple, stylish digital picture frame can replace social media in your life.

So the next time you need to call your mom or your grandma, you can send her a new picture of you from that trip you're telling her all about right from your phone. Save on the perfect gift by visiting oraframes.com to get 35 bucks off Aura's best-selling Carver matte frames by using promo code rslash at checkout. That's auraframes.com promo code rslash. This deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to r slash am i the devil where OP tries to play victim after sleeping with her sister's fiance. Am I the butthole for causing a scene with my sister who's 26 who stole my pregnancy announcement?

I'm a 34 year old woman and my sister Lila is 28. We're both children of a single mother. Growing up, I was always closer to our mother since we were closer in age and had similar interests. I was also very quiet and well behaved while my sister was wild. We grew up in the sheltered suburbs so her behavior wasn't nearly at the level of a lot of kids generally, but it was a point of stress for my mom. Many moons ago, my sister and my ex-boyfriend started a relationship. I was alright with it since he was my ex-boyfriend in high school.

I made a mistake after she got engaged to him, and I'm not justifying this, but when my ex and I had a moment, I gave in and slept with him. I immediately regretted it and told my mom the morning of, crying. She was upset at me but understood. And when she tried to console my sister, Lila blew up at her, said that my mom was taking my side instead of hers, and was mad that my mom consoled me or whatever. She didn't talk to my mom for a long, long time after that. Lila's pretty happy now. She got her life together and earns good money.

Her husband is rich and she has a cute baby girl. My mom dotes on the baby and ever since Lila has made up with her, takes Lila's side on everything because she's scared of losing her. I recently found out that I'm pregnant. I currently don't have a job and I'm living with my best friend. The baby's father will not be in the picture. After the mess of this year, this child is a blessing for me and I'm really happy and couldn't wait to tell my mom. Yesterday we were meeting for a picnic in the park and I was really excited to make my announcement. I had made cupcakes with blue and pink frosting

for everyone. Before I could tell anyone, my sister let everyone know that she was pregnant also. She's 5 months along and knows the gender. Everyone was so elated and I was a bit hurt but decided to make my announcement as well and I revealed my cupcakes. My mom was silent when I told everyone and when I prodded her she said that she was worried for me since I don't have a job. And she doesn't know how I'm going to survive raising this baby by myself. I started crying and told her that of course she's going to criticize me and compliment my sister

and that favoritism is starting to show. It really hurt me. My mom got hurt and said that it wasn't her intention and then my stepdad spoke up and said that she was right. And it isn't about favorit And then my stepdad spoke up and said that she was right. And it isn't about favoritism since my sister's got everything figured out and that he doesn't know if I'm capable of raising my child by myself. I yelled at all of them for underestimating me and that just because I don't have some fancy job, that doesn't mean that I can't raise my baby. I left in a huff. My dad later called me and said that he's sorry if my feelings were hurt, but that I really ruined the mood of the picnic by asking my mom of her thoughts, and I ruined my sister's

announcement as well as mine. I don't think that I'm the butthole. I just want to prove it to them. Am I the butthole? Alright, everyone in the comments is talking about how OP slept with her sister's fiance and then has the balls to come on the internet and be like, am I the butthole? And yeah, that is very funny and hypocritical.

But what I can't get over, maybe this is just the dad in me, but I am feeling actual anxiety at the prospect of a 34 year old woman having a baby with no man and no job. Oh my God, this is stressing me out. You gotta buy food, you gotta buy diapers, you gotta buy clothes, girl. You gotta get your life together. It sounds like your family is right. You literally cannot take care of this baby by yourself because you need money. So in addition to all the red flags in this post,

I actually think that the story is ten times worse than what OP is leading us to believe because the things OP is saying are just straight up lies. She said that she's closer to her mom because they were closer in age, but that's not possible. Her mom would have to be at minimum like what, 14, 15, 16 when she got pregnant, whereas she and her sister are only six years apart in age. And then she says her sister is the wild child, but actually OP is the one who slept around, who got pregnant outside of marriage, who doesn't have a job at the age of 34, and storms out of family meetings because things don't go her way. So actually it sounds like OP is the wild child here. So I think

OP is very badly lying about this post and trying to make herself look better. So if we knew the true story, if we heard the sister side of things, it probably would be ten times worse. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. So I'm a 40 year old woman and my husband and I have been together for about 10 years, married for five. We have one child, a three year old boy. My husband has always had a short fuse, has been argumentative, and has had challenges managing his anger. It's taken me a long time to convince him to go into therapy.

He agreed to go about a year ago. It became clear recently that he wasn't being open and honest with his therapist, and I've continually pushed him to be open so that he can address his issues. For reference, he's never hit or hurt me or my son. I'd call him more of a yeller and the type that tries to avoid conflict by being loud. This isn't a good dynamic for the home, so I've been on him about talking to someone to help him managing this. In rare instances, he's thrown something, never at me or our son.

One of these instances was recent and I told him to be honest with his therapist to help him understand why this is his reaction and to work on healthier responses. He had his session this week and asked to increase his sessions. I was relieved that he was honest and knew enough to seek more than the monthly sessions that he had. However, today, Child Protective Services left a card on my door and wants to talk to me regarding concerning behavior with Dad. Clearly I know who made the report, and so does my husband.

I've arranged to meet with CPS already. But the problem that I'm also facing is that my husband, who's been so distrustful of the system and very impacted by the stigma of it, now distrusts it even more. I'm also a bit angry because this specific incident wasn't even anything that would be reported. He threw my son's Play-Doh in the yard after my son played with it on the deck and then refused to clean it up. I'm also a PhD clinician, so I'm very familiar with the system and very protective of mine

and my son's safety and well-being. While my husband's temper is a current challenge, he's been committing to taking steps to work on it. I love him very much and I love our family. As long as he's committing to work on it and changing, I've agreed to be here for support. I've made it clear to him that I'll leave if things don't change because his temper and unpredictability are not healthy for our home. However, he told me that he's going to stop going to therapy because this is what happens

when he's being honest in session. Any advice on how to keep him engaged? I'm feeling a whole host of emotions, mostly sadness that someone seeking help gets reported for an anger outburst reinforcing his distrust in the system and convincing him to not be honest in his self-work. Also, the therapist who has told him many times that they're mandated reporters did not feel the need to tell him that he disclosed something they felt obligated to report. I feel like without

his commitment to getting help working on this, our marriage will fail. Down in the comments, HailSatan points out, mandated reporter here, a CPS report would not be accepted for someone throwing play-doh in the yard. Something else is happening here. He must have admitted something very detrimental to have a report against him. Yeah, no kidding. OP is willfully and gleefully pulling the wool over her eyes on this one. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. My 34 year old girlfriend has given me an ultimatum. Move my ill father into professional care, rebuild our finances, and create a future together ASAP.

Or she's leaving. But she believes that it's already too late to fix everything before she turns 35. I suggested moving to a cheaper place, but she also refuses to leave LA as it would mean sacrificing her career that she worked really hard for. Five years ago, my girlfriend and I moved in together in LA and everything was great. Until my father, who's 78 from New York, unexpectedly moved in with us right before the pandemic. He has severe health issues, a spinal injury, prostate cancer, dementia and OCD.

And I couldn't bring myself to send him away to strangers because he's never been away from family. Caring for him has consumed my life and finances, and it's taken a toll on my girlfriend's mental health. She was incredible in the beginning, kind, caring, and an amazing cook. She also had extensive knowledge about elder care and the nutrition needed for both my father and me. But being exposed to the constant stress,

last minute emergencies and me yelling at my father in a foreign language has ruined her peace. We can't travel without paying extra for a caregiver and worrying about him. And she always gets depressed returning to our apartment knowing what awaits us. I tried to convince my father to live with my sisters, but he refused to and they also don't want him. It's so not fair! The only way to ease my girlfriend's burden was by moving us to a larger, more expensive apartment to create some distance between my father and her, but the stress hasn't gone away. Over time, she's developed resentment and has started verbally attacking me over my family's failures.

Recently, she told me she's terrified of turning 35 and blames my father for ruining her chance to get married and have kids. She began asking about my finances and became angry and depressed after learning the full extent of my financial situation. So she's 34 and she earns $110,000 at a demanding but fulfilling on-site job. She has $150k in retirement savings and $100k in cash. She pays 33% of rent and groceries. I'm a 40 year old guy and I earn $165,000 remotely, but I only have $50k in retirement

and $20k in cash. I pay the other 66% of our expenses, including all my father's medical bills. My father has $400,000 from selling his house, but I haven't touched it because he might owe back taxes. And I wanted to save it as a last resort if he ever enters a nursing home that costs $10,000 per month. She's urged me for years to apply for Medi-Cal, claim tax breaks, invest the $400,000, or use the money to buy a house for ourselves.

But I've neglected all these steps. She even pushed me to consult with lawyers, social workers and nursing homes, but I could never follow through and everything just fell apart. She says that my inaction over the past five years and my lack of financial literacy have been deeply disappointing. She even thought that I was in a better financial position than her, at least when it came to retirement savings. This year has been especially hard. My father's health has worsened, requiring even more constant care. He needs assistance almost every hour to go to the bathroom, and he makes a mess.

We've hired a caregiver for $4,000 a month, but his $3,000 pension only partially covers the cost. So I do most of the caretaking. I'm exhausted from managing his care, my work, and my household chores. I haven't had proper sleep in months, which is worsening my mental health and eroding the last bit of empathy my girlfriend has left for me. I love my girlfriend and I want to marry her, but I feel like her expectations are too high and she's overreacting because her birthday is right around the corner. How do I calm her down?

There are millions of people in worse situations than us, but she's so angry at me for not doing enough and not having enough. I don't even know where to start. I'm drowning under the weight of my responsibilities and can't meet all of her expectations. How do I use the 400k, plan for a house in LA where the average cost is 1.2 million and still care for my father? What can I do to make her stay? How do I fix my life before it's too late? Yo, OP's girlfriend basically gives him an itemized list of everything he can do to save their life and save their relationship and he's like, I don't know what to do. I'm completely out of ideas. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash true off my chest.

I hate my wife and I hate my life. For years, I've tried to be a good husband and a good father. I've sacrificed almost every hobby, dream and desire I've ever had, throwing them all away for the sake of my family. I've even taken on jobs I despise. Apartment renovations despite being an architect by trade, just to ensure that my family is fed and sheltered. At one point, I even attempted to start a pig farm to sell pork, desperate to provide

a stable income. And yet, the only sliver of happiness I have left is watching football and drinking beer with my friends. But even that's a crime, apparently. I am judged for it, called selfish. Of course I'm selfish, right? Everything wrong in our lives is somehow my fault. The fact that we have five kids, despite not being able to afford them comfortably, my

fault. The crushing stress of it all, my fault. One time, in a fit of anger, my wife told me that her cancer was my fault because stress can be a cause. I brushed it off at the time, but I'll never forget it. Those words are burned into my memory. What kind of love makes someone say something like that? Deep down, I know she doesn't love me. In fact, I think she hates me. She's just too cowardly to say it outright. When you love someone, you forgive them, even when they hurt you. You shift blame away from them, even when it might be deserved. But in my marriage, I'm always the scapegoat, always the villain.

I get it. Life is exhausting. But I'm exhausted too. I pay bills. I keep food on the table. I deal with our loud, whiny, annoying children. I sacrifice every second of my free time. And what do I get in return? Guilt. If I spend a measly 60 bucks on myself for a night out at a restaurant, I'm racked with guilt for days. But let's not pretend I'm perfect. I cheated on her once.

One single time in 15 years. I know it's wrong, but it happened because I was so profoundly unhappy in this family. And even then, I tried to make it up to her. I took her to Paris afterwards, hoping to reignite some spark between us. For a moment, she seemed excited. But soon, she got bored of me and made new friends there. She spent more time with them than with me during the entire trip. That's when I realized that she doesn't love me. She doesn't even like me. If you asked her to name one positive trait I have, she'd probably sit in silence, struggling

to come up with an answer. But if you asked her what she dislikes about me, she could rant for hours. How I'm inattentive, uninteresting, selfish, phony, boring, untalented. Why am I wasting my one and only life living like this? Why should I be condemned to a lifetime of servitude to someone who doesn't even respect me? And yeah, I know what people will say, you're irresponsible. But I don't care anymore.

For once in my life, I want to be free. I want to be selfish. I want to stop being the perfect husband and father and just live for myself. I want to disappear for weekends of fishing, spend my paycheck on football games and beer and cheat without a shred of remorse. I don't do these things now, not because I'm a good person, but because I ain't got the balls to do it. I'm tired of pretending.

The truth is, I don't love my wife. I don't even like her. The intercourse is bad. The relationship is worse. We don't share interests, values, or even a sense of humor. I can't remember a single moment in our 15 years of marriage that we were truly in sync. I wanted passion. I wanted love. Instead I got this hollow, lifeless existence. She's not even a bad person. She's an okay mom and a better friend. But she's not my person. Even the

little thing's great on me. I despise her cooking but can't bring myself to say it. I've silently endured 15 years of bland meals just to avoid her inevitable fit if I dared to complain. 15 years. Is this a life sentence? When does it end? How long do I have to keep up this charade? I'm so miserable. Okay, then why did you marry this woman and then knock her up five separate times? I think it's very clear that OP is actually the monster in the family because he has one very telling line. Where was it?

I deal with our loud, whiny, annoying children. Hey, even if you don't like your wife, you should still love your kids, right? Because they're your kids. So the fact that you hate your five kids and your wife means, hey, actually maybe you're the butthole in the scenario. That was r slash am I the devil and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.