rSlash - r/Amithedevil I Ruined My Sister's Wedding

Episode Date: August 9, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Wedding 4:29 Parenting 7:33 Seeds 9:39 Burial plot 12:08 Caretaker Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Buick's employee pricing for you event is on now. Get a purchase credit of up to $3,168 on a 2026 Buick Envision. Surround yourself with signature Buick refinement from an available massaging driver's seat to an expansive panoramic moonroof and a stunning ultra-wide 30-inch diagonal screen. Don't miss Buick's employee pricing for you event. Visit buick.com for more details. Welcome to R-slash Am I the Devil, where O.P. intentionally sabotages her sister's wedding. Am I the butthole for refusing to go to my sister's wedding, knowing that it means most of our family won't attend? I'm a 40-year-old woman, and I'm significantly older than my sister, who's 25. As such, after she was born, I was repeatedly looked over and parentified by my parents in favor of her. Examples of this include giving my old clothes and toys to her without my permission,

rather than preserving them as a keepsake of my childhood. In short, my inner child has had to do a lot of healing over the years. I'm low contact with my parents and sister, but apparently she's engaged and wants me to be a part of the wedding party. Now, I'm not comfortable around children of any age. It's part of my trauma. Being around them for me comes with a sense of responsibility that reminds me of the neglect I suffered at the hands of my family. My sister knows this, so I assumed with her asking me to be in the wedding, that the wedding would be child-free. During a discussion, she mentioned her fiance's best friend's daughter

would be serving as flower girl, and our cousin's son would be ring bearer. I reminded her that I would not be comfortable around children and express my disappointment that she would invite me to be in a wedding that is not child-free. She looked sad for a second and told me that there were many young children and families that are close to her and her fiance and the day would feel incomplete without them. And if I really wasn't comfortable around children to that extent, she would understand if I am unable to attend. I was shocked that she would uninvite me in favor of random kids,

and it reminded me of being thrown aside in favor of her when we were young. So I left to collect myself. I attempted to ask my parents to talk some sense into her, but surprise, surprise, they took her side. At this point, I was deeply hurt and needed an outlet, so I did something that might make me the butthole. I'm friends with some other family members on Facebook, and I made a post about how my sister was kicking me out of the wedding, and that my parents were taking her side, all because of the trauma that they contributed to themselves. I didn't go into detail because I didn't think that it was anyone else's business. I just wanted to vent.

Now, people are apparently refusing to go to my sister's wedding, unless I'm not. I'm reinstated as part of the wedding. She and my parents are begging me to come, but still refusing to budge on the children being there, so it doesn't make much of a difference to me. I do feel bad because I didn't know that our family would refuse to come, but I cannot go to an event that has that many children running around, or retract my statement because I didn't want the family to think I lied.

Am I the butthole for refusing to go? Okay, all right, O.P. It is possible that OP was parentified when she was younger, but the examples that she includes are definitely not parentification. Giving her old clothes and toys to the next child in line, hand-me-downs, hand-me-downs aren't parentification. That's just what literally every parent on earth does. Literally, what does O.P. want that her parents create some sort of shrine and keep all of her old clothes and toys perfectly intact forever and ever? That's just stupid. I'm not kidding, 100% dead ass serious.

While I was recording this story, my dad called because he's visiting this weekend. And he wants to bring some of my old toys to my five-year-old daughter. And this happens literally every single time my dad comes down. He finds some old toy in the house that I haven't seen in like decades. And he's like, hey, buddy, let me give it to your daughter. I want the opposite of what OP wants. I want to escape my childhood clothes and toys. because every time I see my parents, another one lands in my lap.

And like, I've heard people say they don't like kids. If you don't like kids, that's fine. But O.P.'s acting like she literally cannot be in the same room as a child. What? So does she just, I don't know, not go to the mall? Never go to the park? What about the grocery store? There are kids at the grocery store.

If she can tolerate kids while shopping for groceries, surely she can tolerate kids at a wedding, right? You know, O.P. is nuts. Completely off the deep end. She makes a post lying and then is like, I can't retract my post where I lied, because then people might think that I lied. Our next post comes from our slash marriage advice. I'm a 35-year-old man and my wife is 35 and we're parents to a 17-month-old girl. My wife had a difficult pregnancy with lots of complications and suffered from pre-partum anxiety and depression.

However, when our daughter was born, she was the perfect mother. She did all the nightwakings and feedings, stayed at home with the baby until she was eight months. month old, our daughter was always clean, well dressed, well fed, and entertained. Things started taking a turn for the worst after that when my wife went back to work. She started having anxiety attacks regularly again, and her mood was in a downward spiral until she was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression. Around this time, she started doing less and less around the house, delegating more and more tasks to me.

At one point, she needed help all the time with the baby and the house. She stopped doing dishes, cleaning and washing, and it all fell on me. She also didn't want to be home alone with the baby. She was in bed or on the sofa most of the time, on a cocktail of benzos, antidepressants, and antipsychotics. For months, she said the medication and therapy weren't working. Around this time, she also started to care less and less about our daughter. If she could delegate meals, nappy changes, bedtime routine, and entertainment, she would. I found myself doing more and more.

even though my wife and I had always agreed that we'd do 50-50. This lasted eight months. At one point, I was exhausted and done with this, and I told her either she got better or I'd ask for divorce. I'd have to confess by then, I didn't love my life and didn't feel attracted to her anymore. Her personality was completely obliterated by the meds, and all she could do was complain that she was anxious over nothing. All the time.

Eventually, she found a combo of meds that started working. She got better. She started doing more around the house and taking better care of our daughter, but she was still seriously falling short of 50-50. Fast forward to now. She's doing better. She changed jobs. She got out of bid.

But she still delegates tasks to me whenever she can, and I don't remember the last time that she did the dishes. When she's with our daughter, she just sits there on her phone most of the time and barely interacts with her. She only bathes her twice a week. She doesn't prepare our daughter's meals and feeds her supermarket baby food. As soon as I get home, she expects me to take over entertaining the baby. If she can skirt around meal and bedtime, she will. I had a serious talk with her about this, and at one point I told her she was a bad mother who ignores our daughter most of time. She cried and accused me of being cruel because apparently being a bad mother is one of her

biggest fears. I don't know how else to handle this. I'm just exhausted and I feel terrible for our baby. I'm honestly shocked that O.P. can't see the hypocrisy of this, where O.P.'s wife took care of the baby almost by herself for eight months straight, and then she got depressed for eight months and O.P. had to take over the duties. And when he was the one doing all the heavy lifting, suddenly divorce was on the table. Am I the butthole for getting upset after my girlfriend handed me food with a hard seed without warning me? My girlfriend and I, I got into an argument and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting. We were on a trip with her family. I did all the driving, planned the itinerary, and was already exhausted from the night before. By that point,

I wasn't even hungry. She kept offering me food and encouraging me to eat, even though I said I wasn't hungry. Eventually, I took a bite just to stop the back and forth. It turned out to be a tamarind, and she didn't tell me there was a hard seed inside. I bit down hard enough that I thought I cracked my tooth and my jaw was sore for hours afterwards. I got angry and said, why didn't you tell me there was a seed in the food? Instead of saying, sorry, I should have warned you, she told me it was my fault because she doesn't take big bites. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. In the past, she's handed me food with rind or other unpleasant parts as a joke to get a laugh. So this felt like part of a pattern rather than an isolated

mistake. What bothered me most wasn't the tamarind itself. It was that I felt pressured into eating when I wasn't hungry, wasn't warned about the seed, and then was blamed after I got hurt. She says, you always get mad at me, while I feel like she dismisses my concerns instead of acknowledging her part in what happens. Am I the butthole for getting angry and feeling disrespected? So full disclosure, I don't know what a tamarind is. I had to look it up. I've never seen or eaten this fruit before. But if someone hands you a strange fruit, I think the logical thing to do is to ask, you know, how do I eat this? Or is there a seed or do I have to peel this? Instead of just biting into it with all of your strength. Since famously, lots of fruit have peals, bananas, oranges.

And famously, lots of fruit have pits, peaches, avocados. Famously, fruits have cores that you don't want to eat. Pineapples, apples. So, in my opinion, biting into a mystery fruit, full power is pretty nutso behavior. This one's on you, my friend. Am I the butthole for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial spot for our mom? I'm a 34-year-old woman, and my brother is 40. My brother's wife bought a family plot four years ago after our dad died suddenly. It's a four-person plot in a cemetery near where both my brother and sister-in-law and their two kids live. My mom has had some health scares recently, and it's a four-person plot in a cemetery near where both my put her in a headspace where she's thinking about this stuff. At a family dinner, she mentioned that

she would like to be buried near her son. My mom and dad divorced decades ago. They haven't spoken in like two years prior to my dad passing for context. She asked if there was any way to be added to my brother's plot and said my brother's wife could be buried either nearby or with her family. My brother's wife said no immediately, not let me think about it, not let me look into options. Just no, that's her spot and she's not giving a up. My mom got quiet and hasn't brought it up since, but I can tell it's bothering her a lot. She's dealing with her own mortality right now and got shut down in about 10 seconds over where she'll be laid to rest. I texted my brother's wife afterwards saying, I thought she could

have handled it with a little more grace given what our mom is going through, and that it wouldn't kill her to at least explore other arrangements, like buying an additional plot or seeing if my mom could go on the end. She said that I was being unfair asking her to give up something she and my brother planned for themselves and their kids. I'll be the first to admit that I haven't looked into burial plots or anything like that myself, but my mom being with my mother is such a simple thing in my mind. I don't get what the issue is, especially when they could just look at adding another plot to what they already have. My brother is being annoying and staying out of it and just saying, it's between you two. I think he wants my mom to be in the same area. I think he wants my mom to be in the same

area, but my brother's wife is being needlessly rigid over the whole thing. It's not like our mom is dying tomorrow. She's just scared and wanted reassurance. Am I the butthole for wanting this for our mom? O.P. seems to be taking this huge issue with the fact that the wife is very rigid, but like, she can be rigid. If someone comes up and says, hey, can I punch you in the face and I say, no, you cannot. That person can't say, whoa, can we at least explore options here?

Very rude of you to be so rigid. Yeah, I'm rigid because I don't want you to punch me in my face. Go away. This is not a discussion. No means no. Our next Reddit post is from Cipher Bowl. My 45-year-old sister has lived with my parents her entire life and refuses to become independent. I, a 47-year-old guy, am at my breaking points. I've done everything I can think of and I'm at my wits ends. My sister has lived at home her entire life. She's never been independent and has been able to hold jobs. but for some reason she has to leave, not fired, and never develop the basic life skills that adults need to function. She can cook and clean at a basic level, but anything beyond that, budgeting, planning, problem solving, navigating stressful situations, she either avoids or melts down over.

She's been in therapy and on meds for years, but still it persists. The problem is that every time she's expected to do something that would move her towards independence, a new medical issue appears. And the frustrating part is that doctors validate these issues. For years, it was major health problems, but those have all been resolved, though I still question the validity of them and their decisions. I say this because she's on Medicaid, and I know doctors will do all sorts of unnecessary stuff to bill the government for.

Now it's things like hip impingement or some new pain or a sprained ankle, or a limitation that conveniently appears whenever responsibility is mentioned. It's always something. My parents either don't see what's happening or don't want to. I genuinely can't tell which. I did get my dad to admit once that he thinks she might be using her issues as an excuse to sit around, but he immediately backpedaled and refuses to actually act on that realization. She tried to get a job at Walmart once.

They gave her some kind of assessment and told her she wasn't smart enough to work there. I know that's not true. She's not stupid, but she is taking. terrible with computers and has extreme anxiety in any kind of pressure situation. She shuts down fast. So instead of pushing her to build skills or try again, my parents just accepted that as proof that she can't work. Right now, the only thing they allow her to do is DoorDash, and only during the day because they're convinced something terrible will happen to her at night. She barely makes anything, and it's not sustainable. It's not even close to independence. Here's the part

that keeps me up at night. When my parents die, she'll have no one. And I'm not going to become her caretaker. I've told my parents this for decades. They always say they understand, but nothing changes. They continue enabling her, protecting her from every discomfort, and pretending that someday she'll magically figure it out. She won't. She's 45. Someday was 20 years ago. I'm at my wits end. I struggle with empathy and tone, so Trying to approach this gently is extremely difficult for me. I don't want to be cruel, but I also can't keep watching my parents sacrifice the remaining years to keep her in this bubble while refusing to prepare her for the reality that's coming.

How do I get through to them? How do I make them understand that they're not helping her? They're guaranteeing that she'll be helpless and alone the moment they're gone. You know what makes having a chronic illness awful? Is having douchebags like O.P. assuming that you're milking your chronic illness just to be lazy. Also, in the comments, OP clarifies that his sister does, in fact, have a disability. It's hydrocephalus, which is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid within the brain.

This buildup puts pressure on the brain, which can damage the brain tissue and impair cognitive functions. So, we know she's not faking it. She literally is disabled. What's O.P.'s problem? That was our slash am I the devil. If you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if?

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