rSlash - r/Amithedevil I Slammed My Wife's Head into a Coffee Table

Episode Date: November 16, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Good graces 4:09 Misogynist 5:50 Kicked out 12:23 No help Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:53 My wife and I are near divorce. Can I get some advice on what to do to get back in our good graces? I'm a 47-year-old guy, and I lied to my 46-year-old wife on multiple occasions, and now, every time I think things are smoothing out, they just get worse. We've been married for 16 years, known each other for 22. We have four kids, ages 17, 14, 12, and 10. Our oldest has a disability and requires assistance with all daily living tasks. I'm a teacher, and my wife is a program director for a non-profit.
Starting point is 00:01:25 For the last couple of years, we've made about the same money. We live in a 1,500 square foot house with one bathroom. So I have five high school friends that I kept in touch with through a text thread. Some of the humor on this thread gets pretty raunchy. In 2022, the raunchiest friend of them all was drunk at a wedding and was texting stuff about all the jail bait at the wedding. My wife saw it, which is not uncommon. And she made it clear that this type of humor is a deal breaker for her.
Starting point is 00:01:55 So I blocked the guy. Last year for the March Madness Pool that we were running, there were so many texts that I was having trouble keeping track of the conversations, so I unblocked that one friend for the tournament. After it was over, I left him unblocked. The raunchiness was even worse than it was before, but I thought if I just deleted the gross jokes, it wouldn't be anything to worry about. The worst jokes, though, were of a sexual nature involving students. Four out of the six of us on the text thread are high school teachers. There were a few of those jokes. So the first week of March, my wife grabs my phone to use the flashlight app to find her phone.
Starting point is 00:02:35 So she goes to the app menu and types in F to find the flashlight, and the first thing that pops up is a recent text from my guy friend whose name starts with F. She was really mad, but didn't go zero to 60. After a couple of days, we talked about it, and she asked to go through my phone. She asked if there would be anything awful that I should warn her about, and I said no. She looked for a while and then found the deleted text folder. That's when it hit the fan. She was mad I lied.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Mad that I brought this kind of garbage into our lives. Mad that I didn't speak up and put an end to the jokes that were clearly way over the line. Also, in the early stages of this, I was really mad and told some of my friends that she was having a breakdown and stuff like that. just speaking negatively of my wife. Meanwhile, I was telling her that she was right, and I saw why she was angry and that I want to make amends. This lying did a ton of damage, because now she doesn't know what to believe because I've lied to her so much. She's met with a lawyer about filing for divorce. We've rented an apartment near our house where we trade off night sleeping there. I started therapy, which has been a huge help. We have some good times where we still feel a connection,
Starting point is 00:03:47 and we have a lot of conversations that are super emotionally charged that go into the wee hours of the morning. There are a lot of acts of service that I've been doing to make it up to her and to show her that I'm not a dirtbag, but she's also looking for more of an emotional connection, which is something I struggle with, but I'm working on it with my counselor. I feel like there's so much to do to make things right between us,
Starting point is 00:04:10 and I love her with everything I've got. When I focus on the acts of service, I'm ignoring the emotional growth side of things. When I'm focusing on emotional growth and connection, acts of service and logistics fall off the radar. Well, O.P., this is a crazy thought here, but if you tried to stop hanging out with the P word, the guy who makes jokes about abusing children, that seems like a really obvious step one here, instead of, you know, secretly talking to him all the time and reading his jokes and lying to your wife about blocking him, You've got four kids, O.P., so you can understand why your wife would be upset that you're trading jokes with a P word, right? It's pretty obvious.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Our next Reddit post is from R slash true off my chest. I'm a misogynist who doesn't even want to be one. There's not a single piece of media I enjoy that's female led. Books, movies, games. There's actually a game that just launched that looks amazing. But the more I play it, the more I get hung up on the female protagonist. Even media that is objectively good, I don't enjoy it solely for the fact that women outshine men. Frankly, it makes my blood boil whenever I see a woman achieve anything. I struggle to trace this back to its roots. I had a positive childhood, still maintain a great relationship with my mom and aunts,
Starting point is 00:05:31 and can't think of any examples of sexism being instilled into me. I think at a subconscious level, I don't see them as humans on the same level as men. I fail to comprehend the mental differences, so it's easier to classify all women as something else. I also don't know how I can fix it, seeing as I can't afford therapy. And to make matters worse, I'm completely straight. So I want a wife, but that'll never happen as long as I harbor this hatred, no matter how much I try to suppress it. Oh my God, down in the comments, someone points out that the game he might be hung up on is Silk Song. Okay, if you guys don't know what this game is, it does have a female protagonist,
Starting point is 00:06:14 but the protagonist is a bug girl who is basically just like a little cartoon character with a mask and a dress and two little legs. I mean, I don't know if that's the game that he's getting torn up about, but the timing here does coincide with Silk Song. So any gamers out there will realize just how nutso that is. Our next Reddit post comes from R-slash-dating advice. I'm a 36-year-old woman, and my boyfriend is 40. We've been dating for eight months, and to this point, it's been wonderful.
Starting point is 00:06:42 He's kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, smart, responsible, has his act together, and is basically all the things that most of my exes weren't. So, he was married for 15 years, and this is only his second relationship since divorce. He's been generous about letting me stay over, keep things here, even stock the kitchen with snacks that I like, and the bathroom with some of my products that he noticed I use. But he's been firm that he does not want to live. live with a significant other again. He doesn't talk much about his ex or disparage her,
Starting point is 00:07:13 but it sounds like she complained a lot about how he did housework and not being up to her standards, or him not doing enough. Pretty common complaints, sadly, but I haven't seen any of that. What he has said, though, is that he never wants to put a woman in a position again where she doesn't have her own space to go to. And he never wants a woman to feel like she has to clean up after him or take care of him. This is fine in theory, but I really wouldn't mind doing some of that for him. Anyway, he invited me over Saturday to spend some time together,
Starting point is 00:07:44 and he said that he would grill and make homemade ice cream for me, so I offered to make a couple of side dishes for him. I also asked if he wanted me to come over and spend Friday night, and he was happy to say yes. Friday night went great. We watched a movie, hung out in the hot tub, went to bid, and passionately hugged. The next day, we were hanging out as he was folding laundry, and I couldn't help but laugh when he got to the fitted sheet.
Starting point is 00:08:09 He jokingly said, It's my nemesis. You'd think an engineer could figure out how to fold an effing fitted sheet. And he just rolled it up, which made me laugh again, and he laughed and said, If you want pristine fitted sheets, you should be dating a foldologist. But if you have the magic touch, then do you mind folding it? I laughed and was obviously being playful, and picked up the sheet and started folding,
Starting point is 00:08:33 and I jokingly said, And if you wanted someone to be your mother, you should have stayed with your ex-wife. And I finished folding it, set it down. And when I looked up, he had this look on his face like I slapped him. I immediately said, oh, I didn't mean it like that. And got up to hug him, but he took a step back and put his hands up in a don't touch me way. I really meant the comment as a, ha-ha, your ex was ridiculous way, but he obviously took it wrong. Then he said he wanted to be alone, and he asked me to leave.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I told him I was joking and said, What about the plans we made? He said that he would make me ice cream another time, but that what I said really hurt him, and he wanted some time and space to process it. I apologized and tried to hug him again, but he again stepped back and just calmly said, I'm sorry, but this is my home,
Starting point is 00:09:25 and right now I do not want you in it. Well, that really hurt me, and so I kind of dropped back. onto the couch and started tearing up. He said, I'm sorry if I caught you off guard, and I said, well, yeah, of course it did. But instead of acknowledging it, he just kind of kept going and said, I understand if you want to take some time before you leave, so I'm going to take a long shower. Please let yourself out after you've taken some time, but respect me enough to be gone when I get out. And with that, he went into the bedroom and locked the door, and I heard the shower come on,
Starting point is 00:09:58 and I just burst into tears. I was really falling. for this man, but I felt so unwanted and disrespected and unloved in that moment. I sent him some text trying to explain and apologize, but after about 30 minutes, I could still hear the shower going. I knocked on the bedroom door hoping he'd hear it so I could say goodbye, but no luck, so I just gave up and left. He never responded to any of my texts, and I tried calling him that evening twice, but he never answered. So I sent him a long text at bedtime, and he responded, but didn't even acknowledge anything I said. He just wrote, Thank you for letting me know you made it home safely. I do genuinely appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:10:40 That's it. No support, no acknowledgement, no kindness, no apologies for how hurt I feel. At this point, I was starting to get, oh my God, starting to get flashbacks of the guy who had been so abusive and toxic and manipulative. But I tried to forget it and give him space to let him sleep on it. I think I felt extra hurt because I'd gone out on a limb with the same. sexy lingerie just one night before. And I was remembering how it felt to feel like a man was using you for intercourse and then throws you away. Sunday, I tried to keep the text to a minimum and didn't hear a word from him. Monday, I texted him a couple of times, but again, not a peep. Then this morning, before work, I sent him a text just saying, what the F, dude? Are you really ghosting me
Starting point is 00:11:25 after eight months? No response until lunchtime. Over 72 hours after he kicked me. out, and he just texted, I really do hope you have a good day at work. I have my therapy session Thursday. I'll probably reach out later in the week. Probably. The problem is I still really, really like him, and I think I even love him, but this just feels so immature and borderline abusive. But then part of me starts to doubt myself, and then I start to worry that I may have messed up the best relationship I'd ever had to that point. I'm just a mess right now, and I don't trust myself and don't know what to do. Am I crazy? Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Any thoughts on what I should or shouldn't do? Should I just end it or try to fix things? Yo, the manipulation is crazy. Not only is she manipulating her boyfriend, but she's trying to manipulate us, the audience, saying in the title that the boyfriend kicked her out the morning after intercourse and that he was using her for intercourse
Starting point is 00:12:23 and then just tossing her away, that's not what happens. O.P. picked at an obviously sore emotional spot and then when he was like hey that sucks she tries to play the victim what opi's supposed to comfort her because she insulted him huh and then compare this guy compare this guy to an abusive ex this guy is actually super well adjusted and handled this about as mature as he possibly could have and this is the treatment he gets an abusive toxic man yeah right sounds like this poor guy divorced his last wife because she was an overbearing henpecker and looks like OP might also be an overbearing himpecker. Our next Reddit post is from R slash marriage. A few days ago, I had a really
Starting point is 00:13:10 hard and strenuous day at work. I had to walk a ton with some heavy stuff and was overall just drained and also had a rash on my back. I just wanted to come home and not be spoken to it all and just sit in the dark through my headache. I texted my wife, hey, can you please give me space when I get home. She has issues with respecting boundaries at times and to please not make any requests from me. She said okay and I hit it home. Once I was there, she wasn't home and was probably outside, so I lay down for 10 minutes and in the meanwhile she entered. I felt my rash worsened, so I told her quickly that I'm hitting into the shower and I'll be done. Before I went inside the bathroom, she didn't wait even a second to tell me she needs my help getting in groceries
Starting point is 00:13:55 from our car downstairs to upstairs to upstairs in our apartment. And I said to please leave me alone like I'd initially requested and to do this one thing. She repeated that things are heavy, and I just ignored her and went back inside the bathroom. She pounded on the door and told me to not use up all the hot water as she needed to take a bath. I felt my headache worsening the longer she spoke. So I shut the faucet thinking I needed to be left the F alone, even if it means I don't get a shower. So I angrily stormed out making a beeline to the corner in the living room, and she stood in my way. She started saying the same damned things about the groceries and something about our dog bed, and I just raised my voice telling her to get the F away from me
Starting point is 00:14:38 for just today and to stop talking to me. She took this as an invitation to repeat herself again, and at this point, I nearly wanted to cry and beg, but my emotions manifested as fury, and somehow my landed on the glass of water I drank from, and I threw it so hard on the ground that pieces of it went flying and launched on her leg where it started to bleed. She had also tried taking a step back, but due to the water, she slipped and fell, and the back of her head slammed against the coffee table. I was aghast at this, and she started to cry very, very loudly. I begrudgingly helped her out of the mess while she kicked her legs and arms, but once she got up and started to walked towards our room, I just left the house because I was so overwhelmed and overstimulated.
Starting point is 00:15:28 I felt shame at what I'd done, because to be honest, even though in my most intrusive thoughts, I went into effing punch her in the face, I never actually thought something like this would happen. Later, when I came home the next morning, she accused me of abusing her, and I said I disagree, and that she abused me first by interloping in my space and breaking my boundaries repeatedly, especially since the patterns I saw from her were the same things my dad used to do when I would get migraines as a child, and he needed something done. He would pester me to the point that I would start crying, and once I got older, it turned into anger, although I've never reacted physically before. Was I wrong? O.P., we all have bad days. I've had bad days. Everyone listening has had bad
Starting point is 00:16:15 days. Very, very few of us have bad days that result in throwing glasses at the floor. And your wife got a head injury and you begrudgingly helped her out? I heard somewhere that hit injuries to the back of the head are especially dangerous. So, uh, you need to get some anger therapy or just normal therapy or something, dude. That was our slash am I the devil. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first...
Starting point is 00:16:57 There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca-Cola for a pause that refreshes.

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