rSlash - r/Amithedevil I'm Sad because I Crushed My Husband's Soul

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:12 Hobbies 2:53 Spending money 5:44 Pizza 9:00 Finances 13:58 Reconstructed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Upper Canada College inspires boys from senior kindergarten to year 12 to find their passions and realize their potential. An IB world school, UCC offers a supportive environment, cutting-edge facilities, and a best-in-Canada financial assistance program. UCC, a place where tradition, excellence, and innovation meet. Learn more at our open house events on October 15th and 16th. Register now at cause and effect.ucc.on.ca. Welcome to r slash am i the devil where OP completely crushes her husband's soul and then comes online to cry about it. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I screamed at my husband over his hobbies and now he's changed and I don't know how

to fix this. I need some advice about a situation with my husband. I'm a 27 year old woman and he's 28 and we've been married for 4 years. He has a room where he keeps all his hobbies. Simulation racing, aviation setups, soccer analysis tools, Lego sets, music production equipment. Basically it's his sanctuary. He's super analytical and loves writing down and dissecting things from sports to politics.

He's slightly on the spectrum and very introverted so he doesn't have close friends. I'm really the only person that he shares everything with. He's always inviting me into his space to be part of his interests. I love him and I really appreciate that he wants to include me, but sometimes I just need some time for myself. Recently, I snapped. I yelled at him, saying some hurtful things that I didn't mean, like how his interests bore me, that he needs to get a social life, and I even questioned why I married him. I regret every word, but my anger got the best of me and I couldn't control it in that moment.

Since then, he's completely changed. He stopped spending time in his room, moved to sleeping on the couch and barely talks to me. He even ignored our usual tradition of watching our home nation soccer team play, something he'd never skipped before. Instead, he was working on his laptop, breaking our no work at home rule. When I asked him about it, he said that he didn't care about the game and mentioned that maybe he should be more like his father, who's a workaholic and who my husband idolizes. He even added, I don't blame him for divorcing at that age now. I've apologized multiple times, but he just says, it's okay, maybe you're right, and

shuts down any attempts I make to talk about his interests. I'm terrified he's considering divorce. I know I messed up, but I don't know how to rebuild trust and help him feel valued and loved again. I don't want to lose him, but I'm unsure how to approach this and make amends. OP, you blew a gasket because your husband wanted to show you his hobbies? You didn't blow a gasket because, I don't know, he slapped you or because he cheated or because he, you know, gambled away your life savings.

But nah, he's like, hey, you wanna come see my Lego set? And you're like, why did I ever marry you? Wow, what an overreaction. You destroyed this dude's self-esteem and now he's trying to rebuild himself from scratch just to satisfy you. You're a bad person, OP.

Who doesn't like Lego? Our next Reddit post comes from rslashamithebutthole. Am I the butthole for not wanting to pay for my wife's spending money? Before the birth of our daughter, my wife and I both worked full time in low to middle earning jobs with my wife earning a bit more than me, but not by much. My wife returned to work out of necessity when our daughter was 3 months old. Her mental health became pretty bad, and she has a minor disability that makes work life a little hard and she found it a bit worse after having our daughter, but we had to do

what we had to do. My wife's nan, who sort of raised her and was the only family she had, passed away when our daughter was 6 months old. My wife inherited everything her nan owned. It was a big inheritance. Not enough for us both to immediately retire, but a lot. Enough for us to buy a decent house outright, a new car each, and to put some away for a comfortable retirement. Shortly after her nan died, my wife stopped working and became a stay-at-home mom.

Partially due to grief and struggles at her job, and a bit because she would have always preferred to stay home with our daughter. Thing is though, I'd rather not work and be a stay at home dad too, but I've been sucking it up because we still need an income to get by. My wife spoke with me recently about how to budget so that we can live off just my income. She's been dipping into savings to pull her weight, but that's all tied up in investments now. I said if I'm the one who has to work, and I'd rather not, I don't think I should have to spend my money funding her hobbies and spending money. If she chooses not to work, then she can buy clothes at the charity shop instead of getting

it new and get a friend to cut her hair for free. Or she can get a job working in night shift or start an online business or something to fund her spending money. I don't understand why I should have to pay for stuff like sewing materials and gym membership since I don't benefit from them and they are not my responsibility. I'm happy to pay for stuff for our daughter seeing as she's my responsibility, so I don't think that I'm being unreasonable here. I work 36 hours a week and I already pay for the bills and food. She said that's not fair if I get to enjoy my gym membership and hobbies like video games, but the difference is I'm paying for them with my money.

My wife said that her inheritance was worth more than if she spent her whole life working. And without that, both of us would be working anyway and having higher expenses from paying a mortgage and car loans. So I should count that as her contribution and share my money with her. Yo, this dude gets a new house, a new car, and retirement funding. And he's like, yo, pay for your own haircut. What am I made of money money? $25 for a haircut? PLUS TIP? Yeah right! You're not gonna scam me. What? This guy's a doofus! Our next Reddit post comes from r slash amithabudhole. Am I the butthole for how I handled the pizza creep? I'm a 35 year old woman

and I'm a member of a group that convenes monthly to discuss current events. After our last meeting, someone suggested getting pizza. One of our members lit up and said they knew a great place to get pizza, a small independent pizzeria. I'm all about supporting small businesses, so I agreed. When we arrived, the manager was very off. He greeted my fellow group members very enthusiastically. He called her something in Italian that sounded weirdly intimate. He led us to a table and then handed out menus. We ordered without issue, even though his vibes were very unsettling. After he left, I asked the group member who recommended the place if they knew him personally

and they said no. They said they just went to this place a lot and she was friendly with the manager. Before our pizzas arrived, he bought us an order of garlic knots. None of us ordered any garlic knots and I tried to correct his mistake. He said they were complimentary as a thanks for choosing his establishment. I thought this was very presumptuous. After he left, I mentioned to the table that I thought it inappropriate to serve food that no one ordered because someone might be allergic.

The group member said the knots were made from the same type of dough as the pizzas that we all ordered, so there was no way that anyone was allergic. Still, I didn't eat any. After our pizzas arrived, we ate without issue. The problem was when the bill arrived. No one was charged for their drinks, even though the prices are listed on the menu. I pointed this out to the manager to the annoyance of the group. He said that it was a perk of being irregular.

I said that I was not irregular and he said that he hoped I would decide to become one after today. At that point, I'd had enough. I said his behavior was creepy and asked for my bill to be fixed. He looked upset, but he took the bill. The other members of the group got annoyed with me. The one who had recommended the pizzeria was visibly angry, saying that I embarrassed them and potentially ruined the awesome discounts they get. I said that I felt uncomfortable with his overly familiar

behavior and the free food felt like a power play. A way to feel as though he had authority over us. They rolled their eyes and said that I was ridiculous. They then got up to go talk to the manager. They came back, slammed my new bill on the table and then stormed out. I paid in cash and left quickly as well, as I felt uncomfortable. I've been thinking over the situation and I can't think of anything I did wrong. But some of the other group members I texted said that I went way overboard. Did I? Man, alright, we read a lot of stories about Karens and just people who are like mean and dumb for no reason. And it's really interesting to read stories from r slash Ami the Devil because

we see into the brains of these stupid, bad, mean people Who gets insulted by garlic knots? Yo, it's free bread and she started frothing at the mouth over free bread and free sodas? What? Her life must be literally non-stop misery if she constantly interprets every single tiny innocent meaningless gesture as some evil manipulation power play. I kinda feel sorry for her to be honest. Our next reddit post is from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 24 year old guy and my 22 year old girlfriend doesn't feel motivated to do more around the apartment because I don't contribute enough financially.

My girlfriend is overall a really wonderful girl, so just so y'all know, I do love her. We've been together for three years, living together for two. While I was in college, I was working as a line cook making 24 bucks an hour. It was good enough money for us to get by pretty comfortably. After I graduated with a computer science degree, I decided it'd be a good idea to break into the career world of website development. I accepted a low-end position paying 14 bucks an hour. But this was supposed to be a 2-3 month thing.

It's now become a 6 month thing, but I really love the people that I work with. Plus, I found out just a couple of months of experience in programming wasn't enough to get those higher paying jobs, so I haven't bothered applying quite yet, much to my girlfriend's frustration. My girlfriend has been at the same job the last three years while she's been in college She serves at a fine dining restaurant part-time. It's pretty good money for only working four days a week But she was diagnosed with some serious health issues about two months ago Basically, it's two autoimmune conditions

This has led to a pretty big increase in expenses due to medication and healthcare. When I noticed that things weren't quite as clean as usual, I thought maybe she was depressed. It's not dirty around the house or anything, just sometimes I come home and the dishes still aren't done, or she FORGETS to do the laundry, or the bed isn't made. It's not filthy, is what I'm saying, but it's not nearly as tidy as I like it to be. Furthermore, she's been just meal prepping me casseroles to eat through the week instead of her usual meals, which were more home cooking, I guess you could say. Alright, hold on, I gotta stop right here.

I just assumed when it came to splitting up chores, I assumed that OP was the one who did the cooking because he literally worked as a line chef, so I guess he is good at cooking and he likes cooking, but she does all the cooking too? Man! But when I asked her about her mental health, and that being why things weren't as nice around here as usual, she said that she simply isn't as motivated to do all her usual elaborate work around the apartment, when she isn't being financially supported sufficiently. And that if she's going to be bearing the majority share of the finances, then we can split the household responsibility the same way. I was flabbergasted!

I didn't realize that she had such a transactional and shallow view of our relationship, especially considering that we are splitting finances 50-50 and she's not bearing the majority share. Also, I work 40 hours a week, and she only works 34 hours a week. When I brought up that I work more so she should be doing the majority of work around the house, she said that I have a desk job and she has a very physically intensive job. I wouldn't call waiting tables physically intensive, but okay. We did a breakdown of our finances, and she doesn't see it as even, but I do.

Because our overall together expenses balance out with our income differences considered. Then OP lists out their salaries and how much they spend money on, which I'm not going to read because it's just a bunch of boring numbers. We argued a bit about the money being uneven, but I make less than her so I think this setup makes sense. I pay for internet, she pays for groceries. For context. For context, OP lists the internet as 200 bucks a month, groceries is 700 bucks a month.

Plus, I have higher gas expenses and student loans. And I'm putting back more in savings than her. For us. I suggested that she spend less on groceries. She said that she tries, but with her new special diet she has to eat, groceries are much more expensive. Plus, I've been doing a lot of weight lifting, so I've been getting into bulking. So yeah, I do eat a lot.

I also suggested that she works more, but she said that's just too much with her school schedule and her disability makes her exhaust a lot more easily these days. Then I tried to remind her that eventually I'll get a higher paying position. I just have to build up a good resume. She says I'm not doing enough to get a better job. Which I found pretty rich considering she's an English major. As if we'll ever see a return on that degree. As an English major can confirm, it is pretty worthless. Thankfully, she's on a full ride scholarship so we're not sinking any money into it, especially since it's an expensive school. But it gets me that she's pushing me to get a job that pays at least 20 bucks an hour

again when she probably won't ever be able to get a job paying any more than that with her degree. I tried to push her into STEM, but she wouldn't go for it. Yo, OP has a girlfriend who works and goes to school and cooks and cleans and he's complaining. Cool. OP sounds like such a winner, such a catch. Alright okay this next post guys this comes from r slash breast cancer which is a support subreddit about women suffering with breast cancer. So you got gotta keep that in mind to understand what makes this post so bad. I don't really know where to go.

I'm just looking for ideas and support. My wife had a bilateral mastectomy. She survived and is cancer free. She went through the reconstruction process and got fake boobs with the skin pinched nipple and areola tattoos. I know that I should be thrilled, but I don't know how to deal with my sadness over losing her breasts. The reconstructed ones just aren't the same. I feel terrible, and I know that I'm a piece of garbage for obsessing

over this, but I don't know what to do. I'm sorry for putting this on y'all. But does anyone who's gone through this have any advice? I'm seriously grieving and don't know what to do. It's so stupid but I can't help it. I feel terrible. I don't deserve help. I should be happy. I know, but someone has to understand how I feel. Please? Yo, imagine going to a doctor and finding out you have cancer and you're probably gonna lose your breasts and then you go online to a support group thinking, oh, maybe other women who have gone through this will make me feel better and then you... Jesus. And then you... God. You come across this post of this dude complaining and making... Oh God, this dude. Oh my God.

How self-obsessed and clueless do you need to be to post this to a self-help group? Oh my god. That was r slash am I the devil, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.