rSlash - r/Amithedevil Is it Wrong to Pimp Out my Niece?

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:07 Forcing a date 3:20 Daughter hate 6:30 Crazy mom 14:17 Legal action Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:01:00 Welcome to r slash Am I the Devil, where OP is kinda sort of a pimp for his teenage niece. Am I the butthole for making my niece go on a date with a really nice kid after she was very mean girl to him. My older sister's husband is in the military and deployed overseas. His dad recently had a small stroke and needs help. My sister asked my younger sister to watch her two kids. Kinsley who's 15 and Adam who's 13. But my younger sister is in the Air National Guard and she had to do missions or
Starting point is 00:01:31 something, so she asked me. She admitted to me that I'm the last resort and she's having a hard time trusting me, but I said that I could handle it. I arrived on Tuesday night and Kinsley asked me if she could have a study partner over. I said that was fine and I loved the kid that came over. He knew even more about nerd culture and West Coast gangsta rap than I did and I loved talking to him. They studied for a while and I could just tell this kid was deep into his emotions for my niece. I just so happened to be taking the trash out when I heard the boy tell my niece that he would really like to hang out as more than friends and she said that she wasn't sure. Well on Wednesday night, I heard Kinsley telling one of her friends that her study partner
Starting point is 00:02:13 was a nice guy but she just wasn't into him like that and she felt bad that she even sort of let him on. I decided that I would give her a day to come to her senses and go out with him so I asked on Thursday and she said no she didn't see him in that way. I told her that since I'm in charge, she was going to go on a date with him because I would not allow cruelty to nice people. She screamed that she wasn't being cruel and I was like, that's it, you are going out with him. She faked being sick on Friday, but I made her go to school and she begged me not to make her go out with this guy and I said no, she had to learn that she can't be
Starting point is 00:02:50 cruel to people and lead them on. The boy was such a gentleman when he picked her up on Friday and he had her home right on time and even walked her to the door and thanked me for allowing him to date my niece. When Kinsley came inside, she said, I f***ing hate you. Aunt Jessica would have never humiliated me like that. And went and slammed her door and I haven't seen her since. My sister called this morning and reamed me out and said that she wants her daughter to be nice as well. But I took away any sense of agency that she had with this guy and that I'm not her parent.
Starting point is 00:03:23 She said that I'm just there to call 911 if something goes wrong, not to emotionally scar her children because they make different choices. She also accused me of favoring the boy over my own niece. I don't get it! My sister was severely bullied as a kid until she literally turned into a swan in college and I thought that I was doing what she would do and not allow Kinsley to be a bully herself. Am I the butthole? Ugh. Forcing a 15 year old girl to go on a date with someone they don't want to go on a date with is super icky. 15 is the age when teenagers should really be understanding the importance
Starting point is 00:03:59 of consent and having control over their own body and OP just took away both of those things. I can understand why OP's sister said that OP is a last resort. OP genuinely seems like a woman-hating incel who's taking his bitterness out on women on a 15-year-old girl. Our next reddit post is from r slash regretful parents. I love my son beyond words, but I wish I could send my daughter away. I'm conflicted. I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions that is largely dependent on the situation that
Starting point is 00:04:30 I find myself in. If I'm spending time with my son, I couldn't care less about anything and anyone else. We play, we talk, we explore outside, we stay in and watch a movie, we share meals and snacks, we negotiate, compromise and move as one. We find our flow and lose track of time. It's effing effortless and it just feels so damn good. He's my favorite person. I happily choose to spend time with him
Starting point is 00:04:57 no matter what it is that we actually end up doing. He just gets it. Sometimes I do wonder if I'm insane and I've completely made him up because he does seem to be too good to be true. If my daughter is involved in the activity, I have one foot out the door before anything else starts. She's just difficult. She argues, she won't compromise, she wants things her way, is unkind, selfish, rude, is never happy, she always has to insert herself into conversations, always needs to propose arbitrary changes, ends up having a meltdown, needs to be pulled aside to be
Starting point is 00:05:32 spoken to, ends up being asked to sit aside and relax, ends up being sent to her room where she slams the door and screams. She doesn't get it. She's a challenge that I honestly no longer am interested in facing. I've done sticker charts, treasure boxes, promises of all kinds of things. I've tried punishments and heart to hearts. Her dads talk to her and so have other adults. It feels like she's excruciatingly slow to learn consequences. She just wants to have fun, even if it's at someone else's expense or if no one else
Starting point is 00:06:04 is. I'm tired. It stressed me out and is likely why my health is not where it used to be. She stressed every friendship and my marriage. I resent her very, very much for that. I wish there was a return program for kids. Like, I tried it. I gave it my all for 3 years. I did everything the experts recommended and I got nowhere. So now I'd like to just stop trying. I don't want to be her mom anymore. The work is nowhere near worth it. The best I can ever hope for is an uneventful moment. I want to focus on the child that I love and not this pointless struggle." In the comments, OP writes this, My son skipped the terrible twos and the shitty threes.
Starting point is 00:06:49 It's like black and white, day and night. He started telling me to send her to her room when she flips out so that we can go back to a more peaceful situation. I hate to make this insinuation, but the way that OP talks about her son honestly sounds the way that a woman would talk about her romantic partner. Right? This is the type of stuff you would expect to hear from a girl who's Infatuated with a crush and they're like four dates in and she's already imagining Getting married and having kids together, but this is her child she's talking about.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Man, I feel really sorry for this little girl. It sounds like she's in about. Man, I feel really sorry for this little girl. It sounds like she's in for a lifetime of abuse. Our next reddit post comes from r slash off my chest. I was uninvited for my daughter's wedding. I blame my ex-husband. The daughter in question is my eldest daughter and she's in her early 30s now. She was always a reserved kid, wanting to be tough for her younger siblings. She always had a special bond with her dad though, and when she was a kid it was endearing. When she became a teenager, however, it turned south.
Starting point is 00:07:51 I've always been strict, but fair, as my other kids still tell me. Her father was always lenient towards her rebellious behavior. He would blame her bad behavior on the circumstances and the people around her rather than trying to make her a better person. Whenever I put my foot down, he would coddle her and then we would have horrible arguments which in turn would just make her feel bad, which wasn't my intention. This did, however, also affect our other children as only she seemed to receive this special treatment from her father. It hit rock bottom when she cut off her relationship. The guy had been abusing her, which she had been hiding from us. She was 14 at the time. And when she decided that she had enough, the guy forced himself on her.
Starting point is 00:08:35 After the assault, she disappeared. Two days later, she called from a number abroad, telling us that she was fine and to not try to find her. She had gone to the airport and booked herself a flight to a country that we used to vacation to in Europe. My husband connected the dots and chased after her. Because she was sad, he told her they could stay for a prolonged weekend there. Never mind her schoolwork or his job, or the fact that he was, yo, what the f*** am I reading, or the fact that he was rewarding her after she pulled this extremely worrying stunt on us. When they returned, I was rightfully furious.
Starting point is 00:09:12 An argument ensued. And I'm not proud about the things that I yelled. The following three months are so required. She withdrew even more. She skipped family dinner and activities. Whenever we wanted to socialize with her, she would always claim some new creative pain as an excuse. We let it slide.
Starting point is 00:09:30 We agree that she was just gloomy from… from the breakup?! Gloomy from the breakup, OP?! Are you kidding me?! Guys, I'm triggered. This is triggering the f*** out of me. OP's daughter gets sexually assaulted and she says that she was gloomy from the breakup. Okay, alright. What she was going through was heartbreaking and I wish I could have seen it through and
Starting point is 00:09:53 just been there for her. Either way, about three months in, she collapsed at school during gym. My husband, of course, rushed to her side after we got a call from the nurse's office. We rushed her to the hospital. She was treated for a burst ovarian cyst, as she told us. We had established medical emancipation for her, so they didn't give us any information. As it later turned out, she had miscarried her, her R-wordist's baby. She had also hidden almost three months of pregnancy from us.
Starting point is 00:10:24 After she was discharged, my ex-husband brought her home. My other daughter was participating in a talent show at her middle school and we were supposed to attend it as a family. My ex-husband changed his mind, saying that he would rather stay behind with my oldest daughter because she wasn't feeling too well. I- What? What?
Starting point is 00:10:43 I told him she could take care of herself for a night, that he had other kids to pay attention to, and that this was our other daughter's night, and we also wanted to go out for a nice family dinner together. He said that we could order some food and sit in with our oldest daughter, then everyone who wanted to attend the talent show could go there. The next part I'm also not really proud of. She had been skipping dinner because she developed an eating disorder. I told my husband I was done with him always making everything about her. That it didn't even matter because she wasn't gonna eat anything or she would just regurgitate it all anyways. I could tell that she was upset. She told us to go to the damn talent show that she was going to be fine alone at home and not to worry about her.
Starting point is 00:11:25 She didn't want to be a burden. Well, while we were out, she tried to take her own life. She survived, but obviously this left a rift in our family. My ex-husband blamed me and at the time, so did I. He turned very cold towards me and after she finally opened up to us about what happened to her, his coddling of her got even worse. He treated her like this broken little thing. I started to bond with her again too. I was assaulted as a teenager as well, and she told me that she was grateful that I understood what she was going through. I apologized to
Starting point is 00:12:00 her for the harsh things that I yelled at her, and she accepted my apology and told me that it wasn't my fault that she tried to end her own life. While I rekindled the relationship with her, my relationship with my ex-husband never recovered. He became fixated on her, and he still resented me for what I said to her. I grew tired of it and called him out for it. I realized that I was never mad at her, only that he was indulging her behavior. And now she wasn't even asking for this treatment. I confided in some former female friends of mine and they all claimed that I was jealous of my daughter and my husband's bond. That
Starting point is 00:12:36 I was jealous that I was no longer his number one. This claim always irked me because it implies the presence of a really inappropriate bond. Unfortunately, this feeling only grew stronger. Why are you cuddling your 14 year old daughter and continuously showering her with gifts and short trips etc. He never did anything inappropriate. However, I couldn't bear to see this any longer and I filed for divorce and sole custody because I didn't want him around her anymore. Unfortunately, he had a better lawyer than me and or bribed and conspired with my lawyer.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yo, OP is nuts. She's actually crazy. Either way, I can't tell if it's solely the trauma that she's endured or this weird dynamic with her father that's caused her to have continuous unstable relationships as an adult even. She's now getting married to her second husband. Her first husband was only 6 years younger than her father. Her daddy dearest, of course, had to walk her down the aisle. I chose not to attend the first wedding because I didn't approve of her first husband. That marriage was annulled within a year because
Starting point is 00:13:40 he started hitting her. Her current husband seems like a nice man. I've met him and I actually like him. I was excited to attend the wedding. I've been on good terms with her as well. Not long before the wedding, my now ex-husband harassed me, trying to get me to back out of attending the wedding. I stood my ground. Then I got a visit from my daughter and she told me that I could no longer attend the wedding.
Starting point is 00:14:03 She looked upset about it but didn't want to tell me why. I knew it had something to do with my ex and so I confronted him about it. Turns out he gave her an ultimatum telling her to choose between him and me. I can't say that I'm not upset about it but at the same time I get it. I feel like he's permanently damaged her even if he didn't initially have evil intentions. She's in her 30s now and he's still trying to keep her chained tightly to him. This is unhealthy. It's always been unhealthy. Okay, um, oh geez, it's kind of hard for me to comment on the story because to be honest,
Starting point is 00:14:38 I think that OP is a super unreliable narrator. Like, I'm not saying that she's lying necessarily. I think that she thinks that what she's writing is the actual truth here, but I think that her perception of reality is warped because there's something wrong with OP's brain and she doesn't understand reality properly. There's no way she does. So the crazy thing is this whole story is supposed to point out how bad her husband is when the whole story makes her husband sound like a saint, like a really caring and loving father, and it makes her sound like a heartless B-word to put it gently. And the crazy thing is, I think the real truth, what actually happened here is probably even
Starting point is 00:15:15 worse for OP. Am I the butthole for taking legal action to return my family to me? I'm a 38-year-old man and my girlfriend is 34. She got pregnant after we were together for a year long distance. We decided to keep it. At first she wanted to give birth in her country, but it was important to me that our child was born in my country so she eventually agreed. We moved into an apartment together when she was 6 months pregnant. The birth was fine, but as soon as the baby was born she got obsessed with the baby and
Starting point is 00:15:46 kinda mean to me. We went immediately into a dead bedroom situation and she would turn down all my advances and make me feel bad if we did have intercourse. She was critical of me all the time and really overprotective of the baby. She would also threaten to leave a lot, which is a symptom of borderline personality disorder. Then I was in a car accident. The baby was fine. And she got really angry and said that she didn't trust me and she wanted me to leave. The apartment was in my name so I said she didn't have the right to make me leave. Then she just left, going back to her country. Every time I
Starting point is 00:16:22 called her, she just said that I could come and see my baby there or she would come back but live in a separate apartment. We can't afford that anyways. Then, two days ago, she stopped picking up the phone and just texted the same thing. You're welcome to visit her here or we can discuss separate living arrangements there. So, I lawyered up and I'm taking her to court for international child abduction. My brother says that I over escalated. But I think that she's out of her mind and needs to come back home. Am I the butthole? Every once in a while you'll read a Reddit post and you'll think,
Starting point is 00:16:57 man, I really wish we could hear the other side of the story. And this is one of those posts where I am very confident that the girl's perspective would be quite different than this guy's. That was r slash am I the devil. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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