rSlash - r/Amithedevil The Vajongo is Poorly Optimized

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:13 Redesign 6:47 Family problems 13:02 Girlfriends brother 16:24 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Book, direct, and save at bestwestern.com. Heads up, I had a minor audio issue that's affecting about seven videos and this is one of them. Back to normal soon. Welcome to r slash and my the devil where we learn why women should all just have dongs to be honest with you. Our next reddit post is from Mateven Wammabully. It comes from the subreddit r slash the 10th dentist. Which is like you know those commercials where they say nine out of ten dentists recommend such and such?

Well the idea is this subreddit is for the tenth dentist, the guy who doesn't stick with the norm, who branches out and has a weird opinion. So we have a really weird opinion here, no doubt about it. The title of this one is something else. As a straight man, vaginas are badly optimized interfaces and I would prefer them evolutionarily eradicated. Just for clarity moving forward I'm gonna use the term lady parts because YouTube probably

isn't gonna like the V word too much. I'm a straight man. I love women. I'm not closeted. I'm not trolling. I'm just done pretending that lady bits are the sacred sexy temples of divine femininity. They're not. They're a mess, both in design and function. If evolution had any sense of symmetry, women would have ended up with dongs and the world would be better for it. Aesthetically speaking, lady bits are chaos incarnate. They make hardly any sense.

There's no standard layout, no symmetry, no visual logic, folds on folds, lips of random length, hidden bits, and inconsistent shapes. Compare that to the dong. Sleek, functional, symmetrical. Dude, what? Symmetrical, every single dude has one ball that hangs lower than the other. Whether flaccid or hard, it has cohesive structure. Lady bits looks like they're

trying to be secretive. The clitoris is great, so why is it buried? The main engine of female pleasure, the C-word, is basically buried treasure with matte prerequisite and terms and conditions, a wall of text you have to read and agree. You need to spread folds, shift skin, and sometimes ask for directions. If women had dongs instead, like literally instead of the c--word externalize it makes so much more sense. Easy to find, easy to stimulate, easy to please. No more pretending like we all instinctively know the move. I'm looking at you Helen. It would make mutual pleasure so much more straightforward and honest. If a woman wants intercourse with me, cool, but I shouldn't be needing a

PhD in female anatomy to deliver whatever she's expecting me to deliver. Then, speaking of health, lady bits are a high maintenance liability. I don't know why people keep pretending like lady bits are low effort. It's an internal organ exposed to the outside world. Constant discharge, blood, pH balance issues, yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, UTIs from doing it too rough or wiping the wrong direction. It's like maintaining a biohazard you can't even fully see. I just wash my dong with soap. Done.

If women had external parts like men, half of their medical aisle would be obsolete. Vaggies, that's his word, not mine. Vaggies are the reason intercourse is less satisfying than it should be. As a straight man, I want to love it. But it's unpredictable. Sometimes it's too tight. Sometimes there's no sensation. Sometimes the angle is wrong and it just hurts her. Meanwhile, if both partners had dongs, you get clear stimulation, shared mechanics, and direct communication. Intercourse would be more mutual instead of this asymmetrical guessing game

where one person is always hoping they did enough. Society would function differently and better at that, because a lot of toxic gender dynamics come from the invisibility of female desire. If women had visible arousal, like a literal bulge when turned on, people might actually take their sexuality seriously. No more, she's playing hard to get games. No more stigma around women initiating. If she's hard, she's horny.

Simple, equal, transparent. That alone would kill half of patriarchy's sexual double standards. Why shame? Women's clothes are designed around hiding a secret. Pads, tampons, panty liners are what it's called. They're all shame. Silence. I just walk around without having to pretend that I'm shy of my anatomy. Imagine if women had external genitalia. Then there'd be no cultural obsession with tightness or virginity. No more locker room myths. Just genital equality out in the open. No more euphemisms. No more taboo. Just body parts. In fact, even adult content would benefit.

You ever notice how weird lady bits look in adult content unless the angle is just right? It's often just some weird, fleshy portal. And the camera's trying to find a way to make it look like anything other than what it is. So a small, feminine phallus would solve that. My final thought is, I'm not saying we scrap lady parts tomorrow. I'm saying, if you remove emotion, social programming, and 200,000 years of conditioning, the lady part is a badly optimized interface. High maintenance, hard to navigate, and visually chaotic. The DONG, despite its own advantages, is a superior design.

And if women had it streamlined, sensitive, and functional, the world would be simpler, intercourse would be clearer, and culture would be more honest. This isn't about being gay, insecure, or on to other stuff. It's about seeing past the worship and calling out a flawed design when I see one. Yeah, ladies, what gives?

Here's what I want to know. And I expect an answer from you in the comments. Why is it so close to the butthole? Huh? Explain that. Why would anyone put a sewage plant right next to an entertainment facility? Why would anyone put an amusement park right next to a sewage processing plant? And even worse than that, how about some originality?

That body part's been pretty much unchanged for like a million years. BORING SNOOZE. Come on they put out a new iPhone version every year. You can't at least come out with Bajongo version 2.0. Our next Reddit post comes from r r slash true off my chest. My fiance sided with my sister over me in a family argument and it hurts. I'm a 24 year old guy and I'll call my fiance Katie a 24 year old woman. Our relationship has basically been blown up because we had a huge argument after she said that my sister was right. Me and

Katie have been together for almost three years. We've lived together for 10 months and we got engaged almost six months ago. We've never had an argument like this and now she won't even talk to me. This situation with my sister doesn't affect Katie or us together at all, so I don't know why this happened. I thought that it was a given that couples side with each other and stay out of arguments that the other person has with their own family. But Katie has full-out sided with my sister. After me and Katie argued about her not backing me up, she went to stay with her cousin. This is a time I really need her because of what's going on with my sister, but she hasn't

been there at all. I'm second guessing myself if I should even marry her now. I just needed to vent somewhere since my fiance has basically abandoned me. This entire situation hurts so much, and the crazy thing is, I still miss her. I have two sisters, Jamie who's 29 and Rose who's 28. My older sister Jamie is addicted to drugs. None of us know how it happened. Jamie went to university on a scholarship.

She was going to be a doctor. But after her first year of university, she lost her scholarship and was expelled because of bad academic performance and other issues. She'd started using drugs sometime during her first year of university. She would have been 18 or 19 years old then. I'm not in denial about Jamie having a drug addiction. Despite us helping her go for rehabilitation several times, she hasn't stopped using drugs.

Jamie has turned into a person that no one recognizes. She lies, she steals, she's violent, she's angry. Our family is desperate to help her. I've taken money from my savings to help pay for rehabilitation. My parents had to sell their house because of the costs. Other family members have helped. We just want Jamie to get better. My other sister, Rose, cut Jamie off when Jamie went back to using drugs after her first time in rehabilitation. They haven't spoken in years. Rose is an engineer.

When she graduated from university, she got a ring. That ring is given to all new engineers when their career begins. Last year, Jamie stole Rose's ring and that's what started all this. Jamie didn't find any other valuables and she wasn't able to take Rose's car since it's not an automatic. We all begged Rose not to report Jamie to the police. I offered to buy her a new ring, and so did our parents. The ring isn't even valuable or costly at all.

Rose opted to report it to the police, and they treated it as a burglary. Rose was also angry at our parents because Jamie had taken the spare key Rose had given them and our parents never told her. The only things Jamie took were the ring and the key, but she was arrested for burglary and theft. Shortly after, the police recovered the ring that she sold. We were furious at Rose,

but she said that Jamie deserved it. I couldn't imagine calling the police on family, and Jamie has stolen money and things from me before. Jamie was originally released leading up to her case in court, but she continued to use drug. She lied to the police, and she assaulted two police officers. She committed other burglaries. If Jamie stole from strangers, my parents would deal with it privately,

but the police intervened since Jamie was on release. She was taken back into custody until our trial. Rose took a contract job in the U S for several months because she was so angry at Jamie and us. She came back in January and now she testified at the trial and said things about Jamie that in my, are unforgivable. My argument with Rose was over her calling the cops and saying Jamie was dead to her, among other things.

It's because of Rose that Jamie was convicted of several charges and was sentenced to prison last week. I am so angry at her, and so are my parents. The police never would have been paying attention to Jamie if it wasn't for Rose, and it never would have led to the other serious charges that Jamie got when she was on release. I've never been so angry in my life. My girlfriend Katie says that Rose is right about everything she said about Jamie, and that I should have called the cops about Jamie's theft or violence, and that she would have

told me to call the cops if she had known about what Jamie had done to me. I can't imagine calling the police on family, no matter what they've done. I'll always do everything in my power to help Jamie. I'm afraid Jamie will get hurt while in prison. It wasn't a good situation the last time she was in there. She's not a fighter or a mean person. She doesn't belong there. Me and my parents and other family are going to phone her, write to her, and visit her as much as possible. But Katie is against that too. I'm not saying Jamie is perfect, but she's family. I'm angry at Rose and I can't believe Katie sided with her over me. Just for a bit of context, the story with the engineer's ring

is you're supposed to wear it on the pinky finger of whatever hand you use to write with, because engineers can literally kill people if they don't do their job right. Buildings fall, bridges collapse, if their math is off. So the idea is every time you use your hand to write, you'll feel the ring press against the table that you're writing on

to remind yourself you have to take your job seriously. Or at least that's what I've heard, I'm not an engineer myself. I'm guessing that most people are seeing OP as a kind-hearted enabler. Like yeah, his heart's in the right place here, but ultimately he's not really helping the situation. He's just letting his drug addicted sister get away with it, which of course leads to

more drug use. And down in the comments, people are talking about another relatively famous story on Reddit that got a lot of upvotes, which shows the end result of OP's enabling, though these are all completely different characters. This comes from zealousidealzesty. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I want to marry her. I was planning on proposing to her soon, but I've made a mistake. When we met, I didn't know that my girlfriend has a brother that she no longer speaks to. I found out that her brother has issues with drug use and the

last she knew, he'd been homeless and unemployed. This was shocking to me. I would never let any family member, especially a brother, be homeless. In my family, we help each other out no matter what. It wouldn't matter if someone uses drugs or even if they treat us badly. I was raised to always help your family, your blood, no matter what. It was shocking and appalling to me that my girlfriend didn't feel the same way. This caused arguments early in our relationship. However, I eventually let it go for now because I had an idea about helping her brother. Six months ago, I, a 34-year-old man, began looking

for my girlfriend's brother. I purposefully didn't tell her. She had told me that the last she knew was he was in Canberra. However, he wasn't there. I had to hire an investigator and it took nearly three months for her brother to be located. I brought him here once he was located and told him I would help. I wanted to show my girlfriend, who's 31, that she was wrong. When I found her brother, I rented him a small flat and found him a job. I'd been working extra hours to afford the flat. Although my girlfriend and I shared expenses equally, we haven't combined our finances. I was able to rent the flat for him and I helped him find employment and set up a bank

account for him. I also encouraged him to stop using drugs and seek counseling. For his part, he told me he wanted to stop taking drugs and was grateful for me giving him a chance after his family gave up on him. I admit, I know that it was a mistake. He's been terminated from his job for theft of money and other items, and there's a police investigation. Moreover, he's committed bank fraud

using the account that I opened for him, and has opened a credit card in my name without my knowledge. The police department is investigating him using and selling drugs out of the flat and I'm under investigation because the flat and bank account are both in my name. There was also a potential overdose in the flat. I was advised to hire a lawyer because I'll likely be facing criminal charges even though I had no knowledge of her brother's actions. My girlfriend's brother is nowhere to be found now. My job is in jeopardy and my girlfriend ended the relationship last week after she found everything out. We were together for 18 months

and had lived together for 6 months. I wanted to propose and marry her. I now admit that she was right and I was short-sighted in trying to help her brother. I realize I made a mistake, but she was so angry at me. I know that I deserve the anger and I should have listened to her about his drug use and criminal record and why no one in her family speaks to him. I don't even care about the other problems as much as her leaving. I don't know what he was doing. However, I've been pulled into it.

I made a mistake and I realized that my own family's way of always helping no matter what is wrong. I don't even know what to do now." This top comment. Imagine screwing up your life just so you could teach your girlfriend a lesson. This other commenter. Correction. Fail to teach your girlfriend a lesson. That was r slash am I the devil and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast

because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.