rSlash - r/AmITheDevil Why Won't My Girlfriend Be My SLAVE?

Episode Date: March 30, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:14 Controlling 9:50 Comment 10:06 Sisters 14:16 Relationships Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:40 Our next post comes from r slash relationship advice and this post was deleted. I'm a 26 year old guy and my girlfriend is 25 She called me controlling and won't spend time with me or passionately hug me anymore. Even though we live together How do I salvage what we once had my girlfriend of five years who I've lived with for two years is spiteful Disrespectful and she says that she hates being around me, which really hurts. She says that I'm controlling and manipulative, but I disagree, and I think that she doesn't care about my efforts for us to have a healthy life. I think the real problem is her lack of respect for what I need and only focusing on herself. I've tried to make sure that we're equals in every possible way, and she won't accommodate
Starting point is 00:01:23 my needs. When she does accommodate, she does it with bitterness that makes me feel bad about myself. I'm someone who really cares about things, like the types of food I eat, supplements I take, air quality in the house, and environmental factors. I have a goal to live a really long life, like a centenarian, and that means eliminating things like PFAs for my living living environment and she doesn't respect this She says that if she knew I was like this before we moved in she wouldn't have done it She says I have rules for the house that aren't fair
Starting point is 00:01:54 But I think they are fair and that she doesn't really understand why it's good for her I won't eat from Teflon pans and I don't want her cooking with them due to off-gassing I don't think it's okay for her to burn incense or use candles unless they're undyed beeswax and she likes to paint but the off-gassing from the paint is toxic so I tried to get her to buy milk paint instead of acrylic and she says it's too expensive. She says that I should buy it for her and I do make a lot more money than her but I think if she cared about me she could find a way to make it work. So I won't buy it on principle.
Starting point is 00:02:28 I will not be used for my money. There are other toxic crafts that she likes, like polymer clay, and I've compromised that she can use the clay outside, but she has to buy an oven and use that outside and not use our kitchen for this. Instead, she just stopped painting and stopped making clay
Starting point is 00:02:46 stuff and blamed it on me instead of making the effort to meet me halfway. To me, it seems like she's choosing to be a victim so she can tell her friends how horrible I am and it's just not as hard as she makes it out to be. When it comes to her friends, I don't like them. The ones that are closest to her are vegan and I'm sorry, but I just don't relate to vegan people And I don't really want to talk to them plus She told me that they don't have a good opinion of me So I don't want that energy in my house, and I've asked her not to have them over This is another thing she says is controlling about me
Starting point is 00:03:17 And I feel like that's very unfair to me because I should have a say in who's in my home I pay half the rent and even if I'm not there, I don't trust them. She sees her mom every Sunday and they have dinner together. I don't like her mom either. I find her to be selfish and they've had a bad relationship in the past and I don't want to be exposed to a toxic person like that. So I never go to see her. Her mom cooks dinner and it seems like she deliberately doesn't make enough that
Starting point is 00:03:45 my girlfriend can bring home leftovers from me. And when she does bring back leftovers, her mom will have cooked it in a Teflon pan and it seems on purpose to spite me. I feel it's disrespectful for someone to tolerate people who talk badly about their partners. So it really seems like my girlfriend has it out for me sometimes by choosing to spend unnecessary amounts of time with people who don't like me for really no good reason. She's probably telling them lies, or making me out to be a bad person, or just telling them one side of our arguments. I also really value my sleep. I sleep with an eye mask, an air purifier, a dehumidifier, a chili pad cooling system, and earplugs. Some may think it's over the top, but it's something I do to ensure I live a long life.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Sleep is very important, and my girlfriend doesn't seem to care about that because she'll open my door in the mornings to put my things in my room. Like, if I leave socks out or something, she'll open the door and disturb me. Because of this, we agree that she is not to ever open the door before 1 PM?! Yo, what? OP sleeps till 1 PM?! Okay, hold on. I jumped to the gun. Maybe OP works like the night shift or something like that, so I shouldn't judge. And we also agreed not to do anything loud in the house like putting away dishes or vacuuming. I did tell her that if she wants to initiate passionate hugging, she can come in any time,
Starting point is 00:05:08 but she doesn't ever do that. Even though we both mutually agreed on this, she'll still sometimes do loud stuff earlier in the day, which is a horrible way to wake up. I'll admit that she does most of the cleaning, and I think that's why she'll wake me up before one out of spite. However, that's not necessary because I do sometimes compensate her for cleaning, like
Starting point is 00:05:30 buying her meals. Sometimes. Other times, out of spite, she doesn't let me use her car for errands anymore. My car uses a lot of gas, and hers doesn't, so I'd rather use hers for nearby errands. But I can't now because she got mad at me when I bought a 3 gallon jug of reverse osmosis water and broke it in her passenger seat after my really long shift at work. Anyways, when it broke, I didn't want to clean it, so she had to do it herself. It was a simple mistake, but she won't let it go and she doesn't seem to value how hard
Starting point is 00:06:01 I work. In the common space, we don't have a TV, and I believe that a calm and quiet atmosphere should be the norm in the shared space so that we don't disturb each other. I like to sit quietly on the couch and read on my phone after work most days. It's my time to relax after being in a loud and busy environment. She'll sometimes ignore that and play shows on her iPad or listen to music without headphones. We've had a lot of arguments about this because I don't get why she can't just wear headphones. And she said that she should be allowed to do this stuff
Starting point is 00:06:35 because she pays to live here too. But she could just wear headphones so that I'm not being disturbed. I think it's the most fair thing to have the common area be quiet. And then if she wants to listen to stuff or listen to music she can do that in her room with the door closed I do sometimes play games on my phone like Call of Duty and if I ever do that She'll freak out that I'm being noisy
Starting point is 00:06:57 But really it's just a taste of her own medicine and it seems fair to me since she doesn't really respect the quiet rule Yo, you guys I don't know about you But I am exhausted just reading this when it comes to intercourse We have a dead bedroom We have separate bedrooms though, but she doesn't like passionate hugging anymore and won't ever initiate which makes me feel unwanted What's worse is she almost always rejects me when I try to initiate, unless sometimes I'll offer to buy her a meal if she does something with me and it always makes me feel like total garbage afterwards that that's what it takes.
Starting point is 00:07:33 If she was a good partner, I think she'd at least try to enjoy it for my benefit, and I feel like she will eventually enjoy it too. Things have gone downhill, especially after one time a year ago when we passionately hugged and she didn't like something that happened and cried. And it's never been the same. But I didn't do anything on purpose to hurt her and she won't let it go it seems. I've asked her to start going to her doctor to address her libido problems, even coming into the appointments. But her doctor won't let me go in anymore, so I don't know if she's actually being treated or just lying about it. She also refuses to get a new doctor.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Then OP writes a paragraph complaining about his girlfriend's health, which I'm not gonna read because I'm getting sick of this guy. For the last several months, she stays in her room nearly all the time. Recently, I started asking if I can eat my dinner in her room just to get some quality time,
Starting point is 00:08:24 and she was letting me and seemed To enjoy it until one day she didn't like the opinions I was sharing about the types of shows she watches and now she doesn't let me in there at all. Wait, what? Three paragraphs ago this guy was just complaining that his girlfriend Watches shows in the group room and he wishes she would watch shows in her room So then she does that and then he comes into her room and complains about the shows. Yo, what is- Oh my god, this dude! I miss having meals together and just catching up about our days.
Starting point is 00:08:53 I feel like she's totally neglecting me and not putting in any more effort out of spite. She doesn't ask me how I'm doing and I really hate that we don't passionately hug anymore. I don't feel attractive or loved and appreciated I thought a lot about breaking up, but she doesn't have a lot of resources to move So I think that we'd have to live together to the end of our lease which would make it really hard for me to start dating Especially when the new relationship becomes intimate I don't know if our relationship is salvageable and I question our compatibility these days. Alright you guys, I've read a lot of stories on Reddit. This is episode 1924. I think this is honest to God the most I've ever heard one guy complain about
Starting point is 00:09:37 their partner of every story I've ever read. OP, it sounds like you hate your girlfriend's guts even though your girlfriend is, in my opinion, totally normal. Why are you even with her if she makes you this miserable? You just whine and complain and bitch and moan. Oh my god, OP, you're like an energy vampire. I'm exhausted just reading this stuff. Living with you has to be a hundred times worse You know what he actually reminds me of is have you guys ever seen the show monk?
Starting point is 00:10:08 He seems like a lot like the main character of monk if monk were also a bad person if monk were also just a complete and Utter butthole also I'm gonna read this comment from also not surprised I read this to my spouse and his response was this man doesn't want to live with a real person, he wants a fleshlight attached to a Roomba. Hmm, that's actually a pretty good idea. Our next reddit post comes from r slash amithabudhole. Am I the butthole for openly telling my mom that she loves my less successful sister more? I'm a 16 year old girl and and I have a sister, Emily, who's 18. We are not close.
Starting point is 00:10:48 In fact, our relationship was always complicated. Mom tried to make us connect with each other, but we could barely tolerate each other. When I was 12, Emily started dating this guy, James, who's currently 19. He's very handsome. He could be a model or something and I don't know why I swear I was just a stupid kid. I started hitting on him He didn't reciprocate and told Emily about it and Emily cut all contact with me back then James got Emily pregnant They had a baby Tess who's currently three our mom was of course
Starting point is 00:11:20 Horrified that Emily got pregnant. There was a lot of yelling and drama in the house. This is where I messed up again. I supported mom who was against Emily having a baby and called her a whore. When Tess was born, a switch flipped in mom's head. She started being affectionate towards Emily, but Emily left shortly after and moved in with James. For some reason, mom was desperate to get her back,
Starting point is 00:11:44 but she cut contact with her as well, so Mom drove over to her place. They live quite literally in a trailer park. And James yelled at her, saying to not contact him or his wife ever again. She wasn't invited to their wedding, and Emily blocked her on social media. Slowly, Mom got over this issue. However, she tried to pursue the situation in court, but to no avail. Mom saved a college fund for both of us. Not gonna lie, I hope that since Emily cut all contact with her, her part of the college fund would be transferred to me, and I'll be able to afford a car. I think it's only fair, since Emily ran off for the hills the second she could, and I
Starting point is 00:12:23 stayed with Mom. Fast forward to now. Emily suddenly called Mom and said that she got her GED and she wants to go to college. My mom sounded incredibly smug about the whole deal and started bragging about Tess's milestones. Of course Emily managed to manipulate Mom into paying for Emily's college. I was upset. I think that Emily just played mom to get tuition out of her. I confronted mom about this and told her that she loves Emily even though Emily never loved her back and she ran away as soon
Starting point is 00:12:53 as possible. That she was irresponsible and disrespectful more than I was. I'm an A student, I don't run with boys, and I have a part-time job. I am nothing like her. My mom said that Emily is still her child, that she deserves her support too, and that she's sad that I ever tried to compete with Emily for her love. More than that, she told Emily about what I said to her, and Emily unblocked me to only send me a message. She wrote, OP, you hurt me when you tried to steal my boyfriend. You hurt me when you called me a whore. You try to hurt me again now when you're talking trash to mom behind my back.
Starting point is 00:13:31 It's not what sisters do, and you're not a sister to me. And then she blocked me again. Mom said that it's my fault that I hurt Emily and destroy the relationship with the only relative I'll have when she passes away. She didn't explicitly say that I'm the butthole, but she meant that she's disappointed in me. OP, you are unbelievably selfish. You tried to steal your sister's boyfriend, then you tried to steal your sister's inheritance, then, in my opinion, you moved on to try to stealing your mother's love for your sister as well. What,
Starting point is 00:14:02 just because you don't like your sister means your mother isn't allowed to like your sister either? Throughout this whole post, you have this kind of air of superiority, like you're the better sister, but based on what I'm reading, you sound like the worst sister by far. Yeah, you didn't get knocked up when you were 16, but you're just scummy. You're just a bad person. I hope, I hope that you don't really have a rotten heart OP and this is just 16 year olds being 16 year old because come on, most 16 year olds have their head up their own butt. That's kind of just
Starting point is 00:14:36 how growing up works. I hope you're able to grow out of this OP, but considering this started when you were 12, I'd be surprised. Our next reddit post comes from r slash Heartbreak. I'm a 27 year old guy and I ended a 3 year relationship with my sweetheart a 21 year old girl because I felt like I wanted out and to date around. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman. Sweet, caring, attentive, fun to be around, and very beautiful when she wanted to be. She fulfilled my every wildest fantasy in bed and actively pushed me to be a better person.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Her only fault would be that she tended to need a lot of reassurance and attention, which I was terrible at giving. I also never communicated properly when issues would arise. So to me, that's almost a fault of my own, not hers. Meanwhile, I ignored her. Sometimes, I was unnecessarily rude to her on impulse. I didn't consider her feelings, didn't listen. I was lazy, had nothing going for me, but I was still mostly a sweet and caring guy. We've broken up a few times for my issues. She took me back. But now she seems done with me,
Starting point is 00:15:43 and she won't respond to any contacts. Nearly two months later, I'm filled with regrets and a million questions in my head. How could I betray my best relationship and greatest love of my life? Why was I thinking about girls who wouldn't give me the time of day while I had the perfect girl that would do anything for me right next to me? How could I hurt her so much while claiming that I love her? How did I even deserve her love? Do we still stand a chance when she's not willing to talk anymore? Or should I try to move on and try to learn from it?
Starting point is 00:16:14 And most importantly, what is wrong with me that I got to this point and how could I actually fix myself? Because I have no idea and no one in my life can help me, not even my therapist. I'm desperate and just wish I had guidance. Well, OP, the way the math works out is you started dating her when she was freshly 18. So my guess is that the reason why she tolerated you for three years is because she literally didn't have the experience or the context to realize just how bad you were. Then, after she got older and wiser, she realized,
Starting point is 00:16:45 wait, I don't have to deal with this loser. And then when you dumped her, presumably to go find another 18 year old girl, she was like, hey, this is nice. I'm finally free. That was r slash am I the devil. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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