rSlash - r/Amiwrong My Husband Traded Dirty Pics with the Babysitter

Episode Date: February 18, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 Nudes 7:05 Boob insults 9:04 Security cams 10:01 Shower or else Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to r slash amirong where Opie catches her husband trading nudes with a babysitter. Am I wrong for throwing my husband out after finding nudes from the nanny? I'm a 28 year old woman. My daughter Cassie is 11 months old and my husband Alex is 35. So basically, it's just what the title says. I gave birth to Cassie and then returned to work as a psychologist because I could never be a stay-at-home mom. I'm actually French, but I live in the U.S. So when I returned to work at the four-month mark, since I had a difficult birth, we looked around to find a nanny who could watch Cassie while me and my husband worked.
Starting point is 00:00:36 We met with a few girls, but then one of Alex's colleagues suggested his daughter who had dropped out of college. Let's call her Liv. Liv is 20. Everything went well. Admittedly, I did notice her being quite attached to Cassie, but I brushed it off as being a good friendship between the two of them. She also liked Alex. It was obvious she had a crush on him, always batting her lashes and giggling. I actually found it amusing because I'm confident in myself. He always laughed it off with me too. But then, on Thursday night, he asked me to do something on his phone while he bathed Cassie,
Starting point is 00:01:10 and I saw some pictures flash up from Liv. When I looked at them, they were obviously sexy nudes. She was wearing skimpy lingerie, and she was in provocative poses. I looked back at the history, and she had been sending these for a while. As far as I can see, Alex has never responded, but obviously he's deleted some texts. When I asked him, he got defensive and told me to stop using my psychiatrist tricks on him. I wasn't happy with his non-answers, and it ended up in a shouting match which woke up Cassie. So I got him a bag and threw him out. I told him he's not welcome back here until I have answers. I'm considering up Cassie. So I got him a bag and threw him out. I told him he's not welcome
Starting point is 00:01:45 back here until I have answers. I'm considering taking Cassie back home to see my family in France for a bit. His mother and friends have been blowing up my phone, saying that I'm being too harsh and they were harmless texts. Nevertheless, I feel disrespected, and that doesn't fly with me. Was I too harsh? Should I accept his claims that he never responded? Then, less than a month later, OP posted an update. I'd like to start off by addressing the comments saying that I'm kidnapping my daughter. I'm taking her with me to visit my family back home in France for a few weeks. Her father has given his consent.
Starting point is 00:02:19 It's a non-issue. I told the nanny's father about what happened. He was furious both with Alex and Liv. He apologized to me and said that he'll try to get the truth from her and that she rebels any chance she gets, but that this was disgusting. I then looked through the camera in my daughter's nursery and I saw a clip of Liv asking my daughter if she wanted a sister or brother from her and daddy. That made me feel sick to my stomach. Liv denied this when I accused her, but I told her that I had video footage and that she was never to lay a hand on my baby again, but that if she wanted Alex so bad, she could have him.
Starting point is 00:02:57 I reminded her that how you get them is how you lose them, and he would soon tire of a 20-something college dropout kid. Alex returned to the house temporarily for us to talk. After me showing him the camera footage and text from Liv, he broke down and said that he was really sorry. He admitted that, while nothing had physically happened between them, they'd been exchanging photos and messages for a month or two. He showed me the original messages, and it was her who pursued him. She started by saying that she felt like a schoolgirl around him, and said that she needed advice from an important man like him, and sent a photo of her in lingerie asking if it was sexy. He started out not really responding,
Starting point is 00:03:37 but after a few texts, he responded, and it started from there. She was saying things about them being a happy family together, but he never responded to those texts. He begged me to forgive him and start fresh. He said that we can move away and that we have plenty of money. He'll do whatever I want. I told him that what I want is to go home to France for a few weeks, so that's what I'm doing. He honestly looks so pathetic right now. He and Liv are welcome to each other. There will be no wedding, and I'll be consulting with a custody lawyer once I get back to France to see my options both in the US and internationally. To be clear, I'm not trying to steal the baby away. I will always support a
Starting point is 00:04:16 daughter-father relationship, but he can't have our daughter and his nanny. That is not happening, so I would like to move back to France if possible, away from that slutty nanny. That is not happening, so I would like to move back to France if possible, away from that slutty nanny. Then, six months later, OP posted an update. When I returned to the US from France, I informed my ex-fiance that there would be no compromise or discussion on my next steps. Cassie and I were returning to France, so I would have my support system closer and I wouldn't feel so isolated. I told him that I would never try to stop his relationship with Cassie, and that he would be welcome to visit her in France, depending on where he decided to live, and that I would be happy to bring her back to the States for visits periodically.
Starting point is 00:04:55 However, I would not compromise when it came to Liv. If I found out that she had been put near my daughter, I would stop all contact between him and Cassie. I felt like after what he'd put me through and how he disrespected me, I would stop all contact between him and Cassie. I felt like after what he put me through and how he disrespected me, I was quite gracious with my offers. We managed to sort out the move in the next two months, and I signed an agreement that said that I was the primary custodian of our daughter, and I made most decisions regarding her. It also set out specific times that Alex would be able to see or have Cassie. He basically agreed to all of this,
Starting point is 00:05:29 because he thought that once I'd left the US, I would become more sympathetic and let him back in once we were in France. I didn't bother to correct that misconception because frankly, it benefited me. I found a really nice apartment one street over from my parents, so I moved in there. We've been here for just over four months now and Cassie is settling in great. She goes to daycare with my friend's son and she's made great connection here with the other kids. Alex has come over to France twice since then, even though I've given him plenty more chances to see Cassie. However, he didn't take me up on them. For context, money and passports aren't an issue. He just doesn't want to fly. I've started dating one of the female doctors from the new
Starting point is 00:06:05 hospital that I work at now. It's still relatively new, so she met Cassie only briefly. She works in the emergency department, and she's honestly amazing. I did jokingly say that Alex had put me off men, but I didn't mean it so literally. It's going slow because she knows what I've just come out of, but she's very laid back and a go-with-the-flow type of person, which is exactly what I needed. Alex's mother is not happy because she's of the opinion that I should have just ignored what happened between Alex and Liv. However, I'm not just some little American housewife who will ignore her husband's indiscretions. Man, when OP's husband said that he would do whatever it takes to fix this. I assumed that when OP said that she moved to France that he would move too, but nope. I guess actually he doesn't care that much after all.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Should have been more obvious to me considering he was having an emotional affair to the nanny, but I guess I was still blindsided. Man, I literally don't understand how you can have a kid and then just not want to be around the kid all the time. Our next Reddit post is from Bubbly Technology. I have a friend, Tiffany. The backstory on this girl is kind of funny because she used to be my middle school bully, but we ended up close friends. And even though we became close,
Starting point is 00:07:14 that hasn't stopped her from being snarky over the years. I overlooked it because I figured that's just her personality. At least, I ignored it up until now, but recently, I feel like she crossed the line. Tiffany likes to brag. Her and her husband have been together since high school. She's also a real estate agent working at a high-end realty company. She makes pretty good money. Overall, she has a nice lifestyle. No hate there. But lately, this girl has been having it out for me. So, me and a couple of girlfriends had a get-together at her place, but she would not stop targeting me. It's not verbatim, but this is roughly what she said.
Starting point is 00:07:50 So what's the deal with y'all? Why hasn't he married you? It's been years, girl. Oh, I know, he probably won't marry you because you're kinda flat. She's been saying for years that my body is why my boyfriend won't marry me. She's gotten her entire body done, and now that she has a nice body, she's shaming me. She used to be skinny too, ironically enough. So I clapped back and said, Those fake tits didn't keep your man home now, did they? Because her husband has a history of cheating. And they called me a B-word and kicked me out.
Starting point is 00:08:21 I guess her poking at me brought back some resentment from the old days of her bullying me, so I think that I snapped. It was really hurtful to my self-esteem, to be honest. Was I wrong? Yo, OP, used to bully you? The way that she used to bully you? Girl, she's still bullying you, it's just that her bullying has matured. Yeah, she's not pulling your pigtails and giving you wedgies and writing mean notes on your locker, but nonetheless, this is bullying you. She's putting you down, shaming your body, mocking your relationship with your boyfriend. This is bullying. So, OP, you need to work on finding new friends and some self-respect while you're at it.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Our next Reddit post is from ThighBuffer. So I found out that my girlfriend was cheating by watching her security cameras. I watched her get home with some dude around 8.30pm and leave a little before midnight. What triggered me looking was I found a Domino's receipt on the counter for way more food than one person could eat. And I went back through our messages, and the date of the receipt happened to be a night that she claimed she fell asleep early with her ringer off. She says that I invaded her privacy, and now I'm the bad guy. I believe that what I did is 100% acceptable because, one, the cameras
Starting point is 00:09:35 only show the driveway and the front yard. Two, I only reviewed the time that we were together, because before, that's none of my business. Three, I installed the effing things and she gave me the password. And four, F you. Okay, I like the logic here. So it's wrong for you to invade your girlfriend's privacy, but it's okay for some random guy to invade her privates. Right, right. That makes sense. Very logical. Am I wrong for telling my boyfriend that if he doesn't shower, I'm leaving him? I'm a 20 year old woman and my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for three years. The relationship was going amazing until last month. He was watching YouTube and came across a video
Starting point is 00:10:16 of a creator talking about how they don't shower for months at a time because it's healthier. So he stopped showering and every time I mentioned to him that he needs to shower because it's healthier. So he stopped showering, and every time I mention to him that he needs to shower because it's effing gross, he gets mad and storms off. I've been mentioning that he needs to shower for the past three weeks, and he refuses. We got into a huge argument. Normally, we never fight. And it got to the point where I screamed at him and told him that he smells like body odor, and if he doesn't shower, I'm leaving him. I eventually packed a bag with essentials, grabbed my car keys, and rented a hotel for two nights. He blew up my phone non-stop telling me he's sorry and to come home. I eventually had to block his number due to him sending me 20 messages at a time and having over 40 missed calls
Starting point is 00:11:01 from him. He used to take three showers a day, wear expensive cologne, and wear deodorant. Now he won't shower. He bathes himself in cologne, and he won't wear deodorant. Every time he hugs me or gets close to me, I gag. What do I do? Then OP posted an update. I've been talking to my friends about this situation, and they tell me to leave him and that he's gross. Duh. After reading everyone's comments and thinking about it, I decided to unblock him and try to talk this out. He didn't want to talk it out and told me that I'm not his mom and he'll do what he wants and that he's a grown man and I can't control him. Whatever. We got into an argument about that
Starting point is 00:11:40 comment. I told him, no, I'm not your mom. I'm your girlfriend. And I don't want to be with a man who doesn't keep up his hygiene because of a YouTube video. I took everyone's advice and looked up articles about how it's not healthy for me or him and that he could give me an infection. And I sent the articles to him. Then he started saying mean stuff to me, real red flag stuff. And eventually I told him that I don't want to be with him anymore and that I won't take the disrespect he's giving me. Oh man, Opie, I'm glad this relationship ended because it sounds like you need some breathing room, so to speak. Also, I don't know what makes this guy dumber. The fact that he thinks that it's okay to not shower for three weeks or that he
Starting point is 00:12:21 listens to a YouTuber of all people. Guys, don't listen to YouTubers. We don't know what we're talking about. That was r slash amirong. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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