rSlash - r/Askreddit Lawyers, How Did Your Client Prove Their Guilt?

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

r/Askreddit On today's video, we're covering two askreddit questions: 1) Lawyers, how did you client prove your guilt? and 2) Waiters, What Valentine's day disasters have you witnessed? If you have any stories of your own, feel free to share them in the comments below, and don't forget to subscribe for more Reddit content! Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIxnfsmbt0w Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Product availability may vary by region. See you after details. Welcome to our slash ask credit. We're using the answer to the question. Dear our slash ask credit, waiters, what Valentine Day disasters have you witnessed? Our first reply is from the Holy Nun. I saw a couple have a full blown argument in the middle of the restaurant.

The woman stood up, took off her ring, threw it at him, and walked out. The man continued his meal, had dessert, and then paid the bill, left a pretty big tip for the inconvenience, and left. Our next reply is from Jimmy John John John. Two failed marriage proposals on the same Valentine's Day. The first one simply said, No, I can't do this and walked out. The second one stared like a deer frozen in the headlights for unexcrutuating 30 seconds

before muttering. Let's talk about this later. They stayed for the rest of their six- course Valentine's Day special dinner, eating and making painful small talk. Our next reply is from LaCroix's Bad. It wasn't disastrous for the couple as much as it was for the restaurant. I used to work at a small southeastern franchise restaurant. It wasn't anything you could mistake for upscale.

We had someone call in and ask if we could fry the ring he was planning to propose with in a hush puppy. Extremely weird question, but we said sure. They come in to eat with their families. She gets her order of hush puppies, doesn't choke on the ring, and seems excited enough. Stayed at the table for about two hours total and chatted. They dined and dashed. Our next reply is from Kafka Eats Babies.

I'm a bartender, but happened to be the one in the date for this particular disaster. So anyone in the service industry knows you generally just do not make plans on certain holidays because you will have to work. No matter what. I hadn't had a date on Valentine's in probably seven years, so when my boss gave me the day off, I was surprised and posted something dumb on Instagram about it. I got a DM from a girl I knew, but not very well, asking me out for Valentine's and she was way cute, so I figured why the F-NOT?

Things went so wrong so quickly. We get to the restaurant and grab a drink in the bar while we wait for our table, took a shot to get the social lubricant flowing since we don't really know each other very well. I pay our bar to tab and we move to the table. To set the scene a bit, this place is a really nice daycals, and they have these dark red diamond pattern booths that are fluffy with buttons at each point in the pattern. The moment we sit down, my date lets out a blood-curdling scream like she's just been stabbed.

She grabs her arm, and her hand comes away covered in blood and she looks so confused and I have no idea what the F just happens. I look around thinking someone just stabbed her but everyone around us is seated just staring over at us. I move over to her side of the booth and grab the napkins off the table to find where she's cut. The entire back of her upper arm is sliced from elbow to shoulder. One of the buttons had broken off the wall and the snapped metal fastener was exposed, so when she sat down, her arm ran all the way down along it. She's panicking and I'm trying to stop the bleeding. While the people around us figure out what's going on and call 911

for us, the manager comes over and is immediately a defensive buttle until he sees it it was his booth that did the damage. The paramedic show up, I get the owners info from the manager and we spend the night in the ER where she needed something like 80 stitches. We're both exhausted at this point when a guy walks in with flowers, champagne, and a bag of takeout food from the restaurant we'd left. It was the owner of the restaurant coming to make sure we could have the Valentine's meal we'd missed out on.

Sure, it was probably because he was afraid to get sued, but it was still really welcome after how sucky the night had become so quickly. She and I ended up dating for almost three years and became good friends with the owner. Such good friends she ended up banging him, and that was the last I heard from either of them. Wooo, Valentine's. I've stuck to working those nights ever since. The end. Opie, that story is an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. Our next reply is from writer's hard block. I walked up to a table and was about to drop off the bill, caught the end of, it's over. The guy looked at me, dead in the eye and said, split that F&J right now.

Then quick decisions replies, that's actually hilarious and could unhem for not paying for someone who dumped them. And then ZDAC replies with a story, now I'm reminded of my ex. We were together for over six years living together and we had begun to plan a wedding. Her car died so I bought her one of her choice. I gave her a $20,000 limit to use however she wanted. New, used, whatever.

She wanted something small and easy to drive with good storage space, so she chose a brand new Sion XD. 16.5,000. We drove 4 hours at the next day to get one in the color she wanted. A few months later, she's leaving me for the guy who she'd been cheating on me with. And this guy was married and cheating on his wife to be with her, too. Well here's this brand new car, it was in my name.

I was making the payments, and she's leaving me to go be with this mutual cheater? I told her that she had two options regarding this car. She could either get alone to purchase this car off of me, or I'm taking the car back. I'm not going to pay $18,000 after interest for a car for you now. She wasn't happy about this. She was also using my old cell phone at the time since she broke hers. I told her that I went in my phone back, too. After I got it back, I looked at what she left on it. She deleted the contact of her new cheater

boy toy, but the text messages remained. I knew his number, so it was easy to see who she was talking to. She was saying to him that I was driving her crazy about this car, and that I wouldn't just leave her alone about it. She was angry that I wasn't going to just keep paying for it. You think that you can leave me for the guy that you're cheating on me with, and that I'm still going to pay for this brand new car of your choice for you? Are you effing kidding me? Our next replies from Banville. Not a total disaster, but still not good. Had a table of two people probably in their mid-40s last year.

Took 45 minutes for this couple to get their entrees due to the kitchen being way too slammed. When they were dropped at the table, they immediately asked for to go boxes because they told their baby sooner they'd be home by a certain time. I overheard the wife say, well, I guess this is why we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. The worst part was that they weren't

angry just… very sad. My personal feelings about dining out on Valentine's Day aside, I felt so horrible that this couple clearly had put in an effort to have a nice night with each other. Only to have it go that way. We comp their meals by the way. with each other. Only to have it go that way. We comp them meals by the way. This NBA season make every three-pointer Alley Up and Buzzer Beat are even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sports book.

19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Let's see. Dear R slash ass credit, lawyers of reddit, what is the detail that your client failed to bring up to you that completely lost you the case? Our first reply is from the holy nun. A friend of mine is a lawyer and he said that a client once turned up to court in the actual same outfit he was wearing in the burglary. When the CCTV footage came up in evidence, the client looked down to himself and was like, oh sh**! Our next reply is from Politis F. Not a lawyer yet, but I clerked for a D's office throughout law school. Obviously, we don't have clients, but I'll never forget this kidnapping case I worked

on. It involved two Asian male defendants who were both the same age and looked relatively similar. Witnesses on the stand and is asked to identify where the defendant who pushed an oozy into his face is seated. It's clear the witness is having trouble differentiating the defendants. In a true moment of brilliance, one defendant raises his effing hand and basically points to himself like, right here, bud, hands down the dumbest thing I'd ever seen. I thought his

defense attorney was going to have a brain aneurysm. Ha ha ha! Then make a snow fly replies, who has two thumbs and shoved a submachine gun in your face? This guy! Our next reply is from legal duchess, that he filmed his offenses for his YouTube channel. The cops didn't even know. A witness brought it up on day three of a trial. It was a nice quick change of plea that afternoon.

Your honor, we would like to plead. It's just a prank, bro. Relax! Or an extra plash from Titanic Day. I'm still a law student, and this happened during my first internship at a court. A girl, among other people, was charged with drug possession, but because she had thrown away the drugs and the police couldn't prove that she bought her own the drugs, because it could have been one of the other people as well who still had drugs on them. The judge ruled in Dubio Pro Rio.

He then asked if she wanted to say or add something and the girl asked if she can get her drugs back. The defense attorney looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Inverse flip replies to that. I really don't want to believe anyone is that stupid. Then a Mimzer replies, sadly, yes. I've heard of people calling the police for getting ripped off in their meth purchase. And then, red and blue nights replies, retired cop, I've worked those calls.

They do happen and it's not a one off thing. When someone is extremely angry, knows exactly who ripped them off. But our real dodgy about what they sold to person or tried to buy it's real clear. Others just flat out tell you, man I know I shouldn't have been buying crack, but he ripped me off. Our next reply is from Juggieboy. I'm an actual lawyer, but I was only watching this trial, not participating.

So the case was that woman A had hit woman B in the head with a heavy beer pint at a bar and woman B got pretty serious injuries. The defense claimed that woman A hadn't hit anyone with a pint, but instead had just thrown the pint into a random direction and it happened to hit B in the head. Thus it was an accident and not a battery. Well, the prosecution had a CCTV tape from the bar, and it was shown at the trial. And the tape clearly showed in high definition as a walked behind B and smashed the pint to her head so hard that the pint shattered on impact.

I looked at the defense lawyer and his jaw literally almost hit the table. The prosecutor also noticed this and asked something along the lines of Throne, and the defense lawyer said that due to technical difficulties, he couldn't get the CCTV tape open on his computer when he was reviewing the evidence. Woman 8 was found guilty, and then Violet Brewer guard replies, I can't get the file to play. What is it? Fitting off the incident?

Oh, it'll show you didn't do it, right? Uh, yeah! Great, next file, please. Our next reply is from Wind Deck. A defendant was written a cell phone ticket while driving and defended himself. Your honor, I wasn't using a smartphone while driving. I was actually using a flip phone. Guilty. Our next reply is from Cozage.

Employment Law Matter. He claimed to have been unfairly dismissed over bogus performance management. The real reason, he organized via Craigslist to have someone collect a box of his… what? Collect a box of his c***** from a children's playground. What? There were explicit messages from him asking what they did with it and whether they rubbed it all over themselves. The employer provided us the messages. Edit.

He was doing this on company time. What the f*** did I just read? Oh my god, what the f*** man? What the f***? What the f*** man? What the f***? What's a c***** box? Like a cardboard box? Like a box that you put a deck of cards in? It's like a little music box that opens up in the music plays,

and it's just full of, would it be dried? Is it sealed so that it's still wet? Our next reply is from Abject disaster. This was a case as a paralegal. Negligence case, the client argued that a lack of street lights in a cyclist he couldn't see were responsible for him hitting a telephone pole. Upon discovery, the first respondents report indicated that they found the driver in the driver's seat.

Pants down with adult videos playing on the phone, wasn't difficult to figure out who was negligent at that point. Our next reply is from Belgian Frit, I'm not a lawyer, I'm a law student, and not exactly what you asked for, but I feel like it fits here anyways. We read about a criminal case in which there wasn't enough evidence to convict the suspect, so the suspect was found not guilty due to reasonable doubt, and he responded, Thank you, judge, I'll never do it again. The DA went into appeal and the dude got convicted. Our next reply is from flying through concrete. I'm a court appointed attorney for qualifying

individuals and family matters. It's a termination of parental rights case. I've been fighting to argue that the parent is stable, working lawfully has a suitable apartment, doesn't need psychotropic meds anymore, ready to be a parent, etc. After a few months of negotiating with all the parties and department of children and court services, we have a pre-trial to try and convince guardians. I meet with my client before the hearing to see if anything changed. Nope, oh good, let's get my kids. Great, that's not happening today, but let's try. We get into court. My client, who is super hot-headed and quick to anger, gets riled up and goes off on the

guardians. Screaming in open court. It doesn't end there, but she reveals that one, she's no longer working. Two, no longer in an apartment. Three, doesn't want to have a relationship with the guardians despite her kids loving them. Four, won't send her kids pictures of the toys they miss and can't have.

Five, plans on moving out of state. Six, thinks that they can live as a family off of state aid when she gets them back. And is four months pregnant. All in the matter of 15 seconds. I was too shocked to even react. Speechless. Not the image of stability and parental fitness I've been trying to paint since last July. Then, unglued most replies to that story.

We became a foster family about a year ago. We've had several short-term placements since then, and I always go to the hearings because that's when you can truly find out what's going on. The kid is put into care with all kinds of injuries that the parent can't explain, but they all seem to happen when they're at work and the kid is left at home with family. It was very clear that the kid was being abused and neglected during these times and their romantic partner was the only one there when these injuries were happening. The parent comes to court and lets us know that they've broken up with that person and we can give them back their kids now.

The judge asks when they broke up and the parent replies, just now before we walked in so I can get my kids back. The abusive person is sitting next to them. He drove them there, they're still living together, et cetera. The judge wasn't buying it. That was our slash ascreddit. And my ascreddit question for you is, have you remembered to hit the like and subscribe buttons?