rSlash - r/Askreddit What's the Worst Date You've Ever Had?

Episode Date: August 19, 2021

r/Askreddit We've all had some pretty bad dates before, but these dates are the absolute worst of the worst. In one story, OP goes on a date with a guy and his angry wife shows up! In another story, O...P's date sneaks off into the bathroom and overdoses on drugs. WTF! Do you have any terrible date stories of your own? Let me know down in the comments! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash-AskReddit where users answer the question, What's the worst date you've ever had? Our first reply is from generic supervillain. We were on a date, and we'd been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly, she looks destroyed. Her fiance has just died in a motorcycle accident, and then beneath that blue cheese replies, how do you even react in that situation?
Starting point is 00:00:31 And Vader's dry cleaner replies, losing two guys in one night, you've got some bad luck. And this, camping critters says, that's okay, I still have a couple more. Man, I don't even know what to do in that situation. Do you comfort her because her fiance died? Or do you get angry and leave because she's basically been cheating on you and just not telling you the whole story? Or what? If it were me, I think I would have just been like, sorry for your loss, but don't call
Starting point is 00:01:00 me anymore, and then just left the restaurant. Our next replies from Moxforra. I got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. She then proceeds to order three or four more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and just staggers off. About 15 to 20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer. Finally, I decide to pay the check and just leave. About two hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an
Starting point is 00:01:37 unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could bail her out. Pac-Man asks, that's a bold move. How hard did you laugh at that? And OP replies, I was blown away. I just said that I don't know anybody by that name. Our next reply is from Casey Champions fan mom. We came out from a movie late at night and my date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently he called his wife and I didn't even know that he had a wife and he let her know where
Starting point is 00:02:11 he was and what happened. His wife showed up and she realized that he was on a date. She started chasing me around the parking lot telling me that she was going to kill me. I was saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report. What I can figure out OP is why do you sit around waiting for the wife to arrive? So, hmm, I guess actually now that I think about it, the guy was probably your ride, so if the car is gone, then you're kind of stuck there. But why not order an Uber rather than just sit around and wait for this guy's angry wife to show up? Okay, well now that I think about it, I guess it's possible that OP didn't really expect the wife to get mad at OP because honestly that's a really irrational decision. Like, I don't really get why people get mad at the person their partner is cheating with.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Why get mad at that person? Get mad at your partner. It's really weird to me. Our next replies from rumor lock. My wife went into planar 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually I planned it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after quick supper we went to play. We hadn't played him forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. Then she served me with divorce papers and told me that date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me.
Starting point is 00:03:23 I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary. Hopi. The turn in that story feels like you're walking to a building, open the door, and immediately someone on the other side of the door just clocks you in the face. I did not see that one coming, Hopi. I thought you were going to say that like, while you were on the golf course, it started raining and like lightning struck or something. You know, something random like a bear attacked you or something. Not this. Our next reply is from Lex Luthor. I met a girl through a dating side and we agreed
Starting point is 00:03:58 to meet up for dinner. I learned very quickly that this girl had absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. I don't even think she cracked a smile the entire night. The date just got more and more painful as the night went on. At one point we were talking about online dating. She told me about a friend of hers who went on a first date with a guy online. She said this crazy guy fell absolutely in love with her friend and said that he wanted to marry her. So I said, oh, well, I guess I shouldn't have picked up this engagement ring on the way here then. She just stared at me blankly and said, that's not funny.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Yes, it is, FU! Our next reply from Fantasia. I was brought up in Poland by Polish parents, went to a Polish school, Polish university, etc. Then I had a date with an American man whose grandmother was Polish. He grilled me on the language and criticized my pronunciation and corrected my grammar. This was all from a guy whose Polish vocabulary was maybe 100 words. He told me I speak like a peasant. I always thought that was a weird insult because realistically most of
Starting point is 00:05:05 us are peasants, right? I mean unless you're actually a member of royalty, then yeah, does not make you a peasant? Our next reddit postage from And And And Et cetera. This wasn't exactly a date, but a person I was dating invited me to his parents' house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house that he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and he had to pick up a few things, so it didn't really seem that unusual. Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there.
Starting point is 00:05:38 They traveled from hours away too. This wasn't just meeting his parents, it was meeting his entire family. Even worse, at some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed to me. We'd only been dating two months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along. We were two hours from my home and I had no cell service and no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning on a last-can-honey moon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called me to say congratulations. We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left,
Starting point is 00:06:22 didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. It was the weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married. Alright OP, I know almost nothing about this guy, but I would bet $1,000. This guy straight up told his parents that after that date, you died. Our next replies from Rough Action Hank. Oh boy, finally my time to shine. I talked to a girl on Tinder eight years ago. She got drunk and told me to come over because her and her friends were playing strip poker.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I was on overnight duties, so sadly I couldn't partake. 30 minutes later, I received a picture on my phone that I couldn't even make out. I handed my phone to my roommate and asked if he could figure it out and he says, dude, that's a butthole. It surely was. She had taken a picture of her butthole from a measly half inch away and it was so close that I could barely tell what it was. I thought to myself, if this is how she leads, then the rest has to be great. Spoiler alert, I was wrong. She tells me we should finally meet up next weekend at Applebees. I meet her there and she looks beat.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Like she had just run five triathlons and been awake for a week straight. Not even three minutes into meeting and sitting down. She says she has to use the restroom, but she doesn't come back for 30 minutes. The waiter comes up to me and says that he's seen her multiple times, and that she's been known to shoot up heroin in the bathroom and pass out.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I am very not into this at this point, but for her own safety, I ask if a waitress could peek in the bathroom and see if she was okay. She was not. She had overdosed and died. So that was a thing. OP, how is your answer not the most upvoted story in this entire thread? It went from really absurd and funny to really morbid and insane in a heartbeat. I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry that happened to her, but I think I would
Starting point is 00:08:19 have to say that it's a good thing you had Night Duty that one night that you sent you that picture because if you showed up up who knows what would have happened. Our next reply from Sargent Go. I met a girl to country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but we hit it off. I ended up getting her number and we agreed to go on a real date. Fast forward to the date. She gets in my vehicle and she looks almost identical to my mom.
Starting point is 00:08:43 I was mortified. I was polite and we went to lunch where I found out that she also has a boyfriend that I'm not sure if I'm really into and I never talked to her again. And beneath that massive rooster replies, that's crazy because I also went on a date with someone who looked exactly like your mom. Our next reply is from El Toporino.
Starting point is 00:09:04 I smoked a lot of weed at the time and I had a date with a girl that I met on OkCupid who was 420 friendly. She told me to bring some with me so we met at a Mexican restaurant at 730 and smoked in my car before going in. As soon as we finished the bowl, she was like, oh, I forgot, I have work at 8 tonight, bye. So she either went through all that effort to get smoked at one time, or she limmin' laught me, but still went into bumma smoke session off me. Either way, I was super
Starting point is 00:09:31 high, and I wasn't going to knock its aminchilladas, so I went in and got a table for one. Our next reply is from Hangout and Cemetery's. Probably not as bad as some of the others on here, but this still makes me cringe 10 years later. I was 21 and met a guy at my summer job who was 20. He was a super sweet guy and we got along great when we worked the same ships together. Eventually he asked me out on a date Saturday night and I said sure. He said we'd go to dinner, hang out around town, etc. I was really excited because he seemed like a great guy and I never went on many dates. I pull up to his house and he comes out with like three other guys. They all jump in my car and I'm like, uh, hello? They said they want to have a party that night and they started directing me around
Starting point is 00:10:15 to all the local liquor stores so I could buy alcohol for them. I was a shy self-conscious girl with low self-esteem and I was always a people pleaser who didn't say enough for myself, so I obliged. I drove these little buttholes around town picking up alcohol for them while they sat in my car, feeling like a complete and utter idiot the whole time. When we got back to my dates house and I parked and started taking off my seatbelt, they started laughing at me and said, who said you were invited? I was totally non-confrontational, so I just said, okay, see you later.
Starting point is 00:10:48 They hopped out of my car, took the alcohol with them, and I drove home, totally burning an embarrassment. I had a shift with a guy a few days later, and he never even acknowledged it. Neither did I, but our vibe obviously changed dramatically, and I never saw him again after that summer. OP, this genuinely feels like a major plot point, and one of those like awful teen movies were like the Mean Girls and the Mean Guys bully this one girl in class, and she turned out to be hot at
Starting point is 00:11:20 the end of course, so I hope you turned out to be really hot. Our next replies from Forever Gamer. When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met online. I was 18 at the time, but I lied and said that I was 22 because she said that she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other. We even exchanged pictures. When we finally met, things blew up. It turns out we both lied about our ages. She was actually 33 and she lied because she thought
Starting point is 00:11:51 she looked younger. She admitted that she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was super awkward. We never spoke again. Our next reply is from Man Up, a pansy. I got set up on a blind date by some friends several years before my wife and I started dating. The date was in early September and we met in a restaurant in the city. It was a nice place, the kind of were waitstaffed, dress shirts, ties, etc. I was in a nice student high and she showed up in jeans, flip flops and a hoodie. I jokingly said something along the lines of, I'm assuming
Starting point is 00:12:25 they didn't tell you this place is kind of snooty. She says, they did, I just don't give an f. I'm not shaving my legs and putting on some fancy dress for some guy who I don't even know if I want to touch his dick. Let alone if I'm willing to let him between my legs. I just stared at her in disbelief. She then said, I mean, you seem nice and all, but I'm not in the mood to do all the work when I can just go home and do it myself. I asked her to keep her voice down and she said, Why do you want me to keep my voice down? Are you afraid people will hear me talking about going home and effing myself with my vibrator
Starting point is 00:12:59 instead of letting you come back home and eff me? I just stood up, walked over to the waiter, paid for my drink, apologized to them for her outburst and said, blind date, I am not sticking around and left. I did hear from my friends that she later got married to some guy, stabbed him on their anniversary a few years later, and is now in jail for attempted murder. They were like, yeah, we always knew she was kind of crazy. Yeah, effing THINK! And then down in the comments, OP share some more information. Yes, she stabbed her husband, stabbed, not poked, stabbed. Yeah, she was pretty, but not worth that level of crazy.
Starting point is 00:13:38 The people who set us up are no longer friends of mine. That situation was part of the falling out. Also, they became completely insufferable twits. They didn't know that she was that level of crazy. They thought that she was just whining or pushing at times and outspoken. This woman stabbed her husband about 20 times with one of those small handheld gardening shovels. It was their one year anniversary. She's still in prison. The husband eventually got out of the hospital, went through rehab and moved out of the state. Last I'd heard, he'd gotten remarried and had kids. Her next reply from Paranoids. She started talking about her life story from childhood to that day,
Starting point is 00:14:16 year by year, with every single traumatic story and emotion. That was our first date ever, and she didn't even let me speak for the entire duration. I was thinking, okay, she's not talking about high school, so only six more years left. Hold tight OP. Our next reply is from Gingar's nightmares. We went to dinner, and he started chatting up the waitress. Like interrupting me every time the waitress came over and talking to her for a few minutes instead. After a couple of times, I just pulled out my phone and started scrolling through
Starting point is 00:14:48 Reddit and he complained when he noticed that I was on my phone. QELECTR about my generation. And to be clear, he was like 6 years older than me. Then he got mad at me when I wouldn't go down on him in the parking lot. I ended up just going back inside the restaurant and calling a friend to pick me up. The dude's car was still sitting there when I left. F you Jason. That was our slash ass credit. And if you like this content,
Starting point is 00:15:12 be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.