rSlash - r/Askreddit What's The Worst You've Ever Been Cockblocked?

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

r/Askreddit Have you ever been cockblocked or beaver-dammed? This Reddit thread is filled with depressing, frustrating, and infuriating stories about the worst times that people have been SO CLOSE to ...the finish line, only to get shut down at the last moment. What about you? Do you have any stories to share about times when you *almost* sealed the deal, but got denied in the end? Share them in the comments! Get $90 off and a free gift at Sunbasket! Go to sunbasket.com/rslash - Enter the promocode "rslash" at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash ask redder where we answer the question, what's the worst you've ever been cock blocked or beverdamped? Our first reply is from Anthony Kumio. I remember getting invited to a party where I didn't know anyone except the two people that I came with. I spend the night vibing with a cute girl and I finally invite her up to the roof with me. As we're literally walking out the door, some douchebag screams. Hey, where are you going with him? He's totally gonna try to hook up with you! The girl got all embarrassed and avoided me for the rest of the night. I ended up in some dude's room playing rock band with three other guys trying to avoid the main party. And
Starting point is 00:00:39 then beneath that, we have this story from Porsche Black. This reminds me of a girl in college. One of my classes had groups that we were assigned to all year. There was a girl in my group who I developed a crush on. One day, I mentioned that I had tickets to a concert, and she said she was a big fan, so I offered her a ticket. The night of the concert, I meet her at her sorority to pre-game. We drank, and she introduces me to a bunch of people. We go to the concert, have a good time, then head back to my place and hook up. I took her home the next morning. A few days go by, so I text her an asker if she wants to meet up for a bite to eat. Her reply was,
Starting point is 00:01:18 I don't think my boyfriend would like that. So you mean to tell me that he was cool with you going to a concert, hooking up, and spending the night with me, but getting food is an issue? Our next reply is from Janet Eugene Hare. My boyfriend and I were planning to ride our motorcycles a few hours north to a little touristy town, eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and spend the weekend in an old fashion lakeside motel. I told a friend of mine about this plan the morning before
Starting point is 00:01:45 we left. That evening, when my boyfriend and I are seated at the restaurant and enjoying our meal, suddenly that friend appears beside our table. She had hitchhiked 250 miles to get there, in spite of the fact that she had not been invited to join us, she also had no money on her and no way of getting back home, so we reluctantly let her spend the weekend with us. If this were to happen to me now, I would have no problem politely yet assertively telling my friend that she should not be joining us on our weekend get away. But at the time, I was like 22 years old, and I still had a lot to learn about standing up from myself
Starting point is 00:02:26 with people who have no sense of boundaries. This sounds insane, like clinically absolutely insane. Hitchhike 250 miles, and then what? Did she just camp out near that restaurant for hours waiting for you to show up instead of just calling you and saying, hey, I'm in town, let's hang out. Man, what a weirdo. Our next reply is from Gemini Loveko. There was this local musician I had a thing for. I went to see him play one night with a good friend.
Starting point is 00:02:54 On his way out he forgot something so I grabbed it and ran into the parking structure to take it to him. We started talking and somehow I ended up sitting on the back bumper of his truck, caged in by his hands on the tail. It wasn't in a creepy way, it was in a very intense slash attraction type of way. He was talking about a party at his house for a friend's birthday and how he should be leaving. Meanwhile, he's leaning in and our mouths are right there, so close. Then my friend comes out of the club, screeches my name and yells, then she laughed. Cue record screech. Mood broken, I never got
Starting point is 00:03:38 another chance with him again. He ended up marrying and divorcing some girl who he met on a world tour and then moved out of state to find himself And then beneath that we have a reply from Tamiishi no Kiyomi I assume you didn't get a second chance because you were in jail for murdering your friend Yeah, I feel like this reddit post could have been this person's defense and the jury would be like yeah Yeah, I get it. Yeah, make sense. Our next reply from Secret Recipe. I had really hit it off with this lady in a bar in Hawaii in my late 20s. We were talking all night and enjoying drinks. One thing led to another, and we ended up making out. Then some lady taps me on the shoulder and very indignantly yells,
Starting point is 00:04:21 Steve in, how dare you cheat on your wife like that while she's sick in the hotel, I'm disgusted with you, and storms off. My name isn't Stephen, nor was I married or even dating anyone at the time. Our next reply is from International Bedroom. Back when I was 18 and just out of high school, I was with this woman who I knew from high school who asked me to go with her back to her place, and she was not subtle about it at all. A friend of mine overheard this and stole her wallet. Because if he couldn't
Starting point is 00:04:51 score, then no one should score. We spent two hours looking for her wallet until she called her sister to take her home. After he handed me the wallet, he winked, saying, better luck next time. Looking back, that was probably one of the biggest turning points of my life, because it showed me what kind of person he was. Then someone asked, I hope he's not your friend anymore, and Opie replies, oh god no. Last I heard, he moved to Bali because it was cheaper to live with his Australian money, and he would live like a king, but that was like 10 years ago. Our next reply is from Mr. Waterloo.
Starting point is 00:05:27 My father very purposefully cocked block my best friend in high school. I'll call him CJ. Growing up, my dad was very proper, focused on manners, wouldn't tolerate swearing, etc. As I got older and into high school, he started to loosen up and became more of a friend. This really accelerated when he got to know my friends. It's senior year, the after-grad party, and my dad is an absolute bro and offers to be the designated driver for us all night. No matter how late, we ended up calling him at about 2 a.m. My dad, the bro that he is, hauled his button hour into the countryside to pick up CJ and I, both
Starting point is 00:06:07 He is hauled his butt an hour into the countryside to pick up CJ and I, both absolutely hammered. When he arrived, I can't find CJ anywhere. After asking around, I hear two girls took him to a bedroom. I text him, no response. After confirming that he could stay the night with the host, I got into my dad's car, and I told my dad where CJ was. My dad said, there is no way that I'm letting CJ have a threesome before I do. Then my 60 year old married father stepped out of the car, walked through the party, and then presents himself to the bedroom to explain to two girls and one very frustrated CJ that
Starting point is 00:06:40 he had promised CJ's mom to get him home safely and he would not be leaving without him. Once in the car, CJ, who's never said even a slightly off-kilter remark to my parents, sighs and lets out. Oh, he's dead. You effing cockblock. My dad didn't bat an eye, and he bought us fries on the way home. Today's episode is sponsored by Sunbasket. Because of COVID, I literally haven't gone to the grocery store in like two years.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Obviously, because I don't want COVID to kill me, but also because I do voice work. So I don't think my fans would really enjoy my content if I catch COVID and I have to record episodes like, welcome to our slash pro revenge. That's why I love, love, love services like Sun Basket. Sun Basket is a meal delivery service that delivers healthy meals straight to your door. They offer organic produce, sustainable seafoods and meats, and best of all, it's honestly really tasty. The other thing I like about it is that they don't only send you meals to cook.
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Starting point is 00:08:11 Slash, R-slash, and enter the promo code R-slash at checkout. Our next reply is from Radiate. My husband and I, before we got married, were taking advantage of the 20 minutes I had before I had to leave for work when someone knocked on our door. We didn't answer. Then we heard someone using a key to enter our home. It was my husband's old roommate, who I already effing despised, using his old key long after he'd moved out to welcome himself into our home to look for something that he might
Starting point is 00:08:40 have left in storage. I'm still mad. Our next replies from cleaning meaning, he had me tied up in his bedroom for some kinky fun. His toddler daughter, who we had put to bid an hour earlier and made sure she was sound asleep, came bursting through the door screaming, poop, because she was potty training and she would yell that when she had to go. Now, at this point, I'm tied up and gagged. He's in the bathroom getting ready. The toddler is pooping her diaper and thinking that we're
Starting point is 00:09:09 playing some game. We did not get any action that night. Too bad you weren't gagged, Opie, because you could've said, um, sweetie, I'm a little tied up right now. So why don't you give me, let's say, 20-25 minutes and I'll be right with you. Our next replies from GG Prime. Back in high school, a girl asked me out, and I mindlessly replied that I have no time since I have a world of work after 8 in the afternoon. 15 years later, I still think about this.
Starting point is 00:09:40 She was the prettiest girl in class, and I actually liked her. Why did I crush her like that? I don't know. Well, OP, those raid bosses aren't going to kill themselves. Our next replies from to Kinney. I was on a lunch break in high school and a girl who I'd been flirting with quite a bit asked where I was going for lunch and I responded my place. She then gave me a look and asked if she could join. We were just getting into the parking lot when
Starting point is 00:10:05 a friend saw and ran over to ask if he could come as well. I felt awkward about the whole thing, so I said sure. He then yelled shotgun to sit next to me on the drive to my place. I then proceeded to make them both grilled cheese and soup. Very disappointing lunch break. Our next reply is from heroin Bob. When I was 16 years in high school, I invited a couple of girls over to my best friends place for some good drinks and loud music, since his parents were out of town. One girl was someone I'd known for years, and the other was her friend whom I'd never met.
Starting point is 00:10:39 So they get there, and we start drinking, talking, and doing the whole thing. Well, later on, me and the girl I'd known for years start making out. We hid to my homies' bedroom because I have no shame and we start taking clothes off. My best friend was sitting in his living room still chatting up the friend. Once we're about to do the deed, her friend practically kicks in the door and screams, you are not screwing him! Grabbs her, drags her out of the screams, you are not screwing him. Grabbs her, drags her out of the room, and they leave in her car.
Starting point is 00:11:08 This happened in like 15 seconds. I swear, the FBI could take lessons from that girl. I'm still sitting on the bed, like, what the hell just happened? I look at my friend and ask him basically the same question. He told me that he went to his car to grab his condoms for me. What a bro, right? When he came in with the box of condoms, her friend looked at them, got pissy, and that's when she got up and everything went down. Years later, he got back and touched with that friend by a social media. He asked her what happened
Starting point is 00:11:38 that night. It turns out that friend was gay and still in the closet. She had a major crush on the girl that I was hooking up with and was just being possessive. So yeah, I was cock-blocked by a closet at Lesbian in my best friend's bed. That was not how I planned on my night ending. Then beneath that otherwise bill replies, that's a double whammy cock-block claim jam combo. Our next reply is from his bevel. I was dating a girl that was also on board the same Navy ship as I, at sea, and we were in a locked room getting a little frisky. We had just started passionately hugging when the man overboard alarms go off. After the half hour that it took to settle that out, we returned to the locked room to
Starting point is 00:12:21 continue where we left off. Not five minutes later, the alarm went off again because everyone on the ship took too long the first time and apparently we had to do the drill again. We gave up after the second time. I've been married to her for 17 years now. Our next replies from Augustus Linus. In high school, I met a new girl on the bus. I liked her immediately and I got the same feel from her. I'm a slow mover, so I was kind of easing into things. When through the rumor mill,
Starting point is 00:12:50 I learned that one of my oldest friends since 5th grade was also interested in her. And he told others that he would shoot me if he found out that me and her were dating. I got in this odd spot where I didn't want to be at odds with this guy who I'd been having sleepovers with. Gone on scout camping trips and all these other things we'd done together for years, over a girl who I just met. So, in a calculated way, I decided to back off this girl. And since I knew that my friend was very fat and a redneck, I'd let him shoot a shot, and when she turned him down, I'd be golden with no hard feelings. It turns out he actually managed to start dating her, but was still so crazy jealous of me that he never really talked to me again.
Starting point is 00:13:33 A year later they broke up, and I got a call from her asking if I wanted to hang out. It's a long story, but we've been together for 20 years and married for 10. Our next reply is from Showfield. I used to have a hugely sexually tense friendship with one girl in school. I'll call her M. I met her when I was about 14 and I remained in contact for years after. All through our years in school, we would flirt,
Starting point is 00:13:57 hint at things, exchange pleasantries, et cetera. But then she got a boyfriend and I went my own way. Fast forward a bit and we read a house party of a mutual friend who I'll call Nick. Nick was also a female who I kind of fancy at the time and we all got a bit drunk. The night goes on and I'm spending a lot of time with him. The combination of angst built up throughout the years and suddenly seeing her again, we just hit it off. I was a little disrespectful and I went up
Starting point is 00:14:25 stairs to Nick's parents' bedroom since they weren't home for the weekend. Im and I are getting down. She is absolutely wild in this act, and I'm loving every minute of it. We're about to seal the deal when her phone rings. Who knows why she answered it or why I didn't slap that phone away, but it was her ex. More specifically, her sobbing ex begging her to stop what she was doing. At the time, I had no idea what was going on, but I was super dehydrated. So I left the bedroom still completely naked, and I see Nick sitting on the floor outside the door. It was the longest two-second stair of my life.
Starting point is 00:15:04 I went into the bathroom to get some water, and when I left, I saw my clothes outside the closed door. It took me years and a second reddit thread for me to learn that Nick had seen us go upstairs, and she effing ratted on us to the ex-boyfriend so she would phone him. Her next reply is from Paul John. I was at a party when I was about 19 with some of my high school friends at his house. I think the owner was a friend of a friend. Anyway, I start talking to this girl and she's super into me.
Starting point is 00:15:32 We're talking all night and playing drinking games together and she's basically attached to my hip. I feel really confident that this is going somewhere. Before I could make my move, something happened and a few of my friends got kicked out of the party, so we all had to go. We're outside the house planning our next move, and the girl came with me, still attached to my hip. One guy in our group, who I didn't really know that well, was saying he wanted to just go home. He then looked at the girl who was with me and said, hey, can I go with you? Yeah, I'll get a ride with you. Yo, guys, I found a ride.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And the girl looked visibly uncomfortable by how this guy she had no interaction with and did know suddenly decided that he was going home with her. She just very awkwardly muttered, I'm gonna go and did a 180 turn back to her friends to the party. The dude didn't even comprehend what he just did. I was so upset and I really
Starting point is 00:16:26 stopped hanging out with that dude after that. That was our slash ask reddit and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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