rSlash - r/Askreddit What's Your Family's NSFW Scandal?

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:03 Todays question 0:08 Serial cheaters 0:40 Similar story 1:14 Special friend 3:10 Step son 4:01 Similar story 5:07 DNA test 5:28 Family affair 5:52 Another family affair 6:48 Mysterious deaths 7:29 Cheaters galore 7:53 Murder 9:22 Incestry 9:42 Confession 11:21 Ticks 11:37 Teenage trauma 13:15 Step family 14:12 Caught 14:45 Drunk driving Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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My biological father and grandfather were serial cheaters. I was always told that they hoardarded around, but after I joined a DNA and ancestry service and saw 42 half-aunts and uncles and 20 half-siblings, it really sunk in. They were both military, so you can track where they were located based on the birthdays of the kids. Beneath that, Gigmem says, they were making an army. And then Silent Joe replies, I thought they were Navy with all that semen. Then a similar story from Gandizzle the Grizzle. My dad did the same. Maybe we share a dad. My half-brother in Florida said, welcome to the family. There's like 50 of us. You can add me on Facebook,

but I'm not super interested in getting to know you. And then the other half-brother that I did get to know passed away. That was a kick in the gut. It took me 40 years to find a brother, we get to be friends, and then he dies 8 months later. And it's crazy to think that when we were kids, we were just right down the road from each other. F-ing wild! Our next reply is from TheBergtheword.

My aunt was a hoarder, and none of us had ever been in her house. We had suspected for years that she was a lesbian, but it was never confirmed. This was my grandfather's sister, so she was born around 1913. They were also very southern and very Baptist. Not exactly a coming out friendly generation or environment. She was more than a little bit weird, but in a fun way. She was always hilarious to be around and would crack jokes that made other family members clutch their pearls.

She was a world traveler with her female friend and she never had kids. Her friend, whom we also never met, was her sole beneficiary, along with the cat rescue. It was always sad to us that she never felt comfortable sharing her life with us, but I think that generation just never really felt comfortable. She died very unexpectedly after falling in the shower in the early 90s, and my mom and some of her cousins went to clean her home out. While they were there, they were going through pictures to figure out which ones her siblings might want and came across thousands of pictures of penises. Not real life ones, but zoomed in ones from statues, paintings, etc. all from around the world.

My aunt had zoomed in on just the dick in all the art. They could find no other pictures of the full pieces of art. So for instance, she had pictures of the David, but only his dick. They couldn't find any picture of the whole statue in its entirety. My mom and her cousin spent a full day having so much fun laughing their butts off, drinking wine and trying to figure out what piece of art around the world that penis belonged to. This was pre-Google, so they had to try to do it from memory. One of the cousins still has the photos and has apparently turned it into a board game

of sorts that she plays with friends. Our next reply is from Thanks2Denial. When my cousin was 20, she married a guy in his 40s who came with an adult kid, a son, who was 18 from a previous relationship. My cousin pumped out a couple of kids with this man. A couple of years pass, and my cousin is caught in bed with her husband's adult son, who's now in his mid-20s, while my cousin was in her 30s. My cousin and her husband divorce.

My cousin keeps custody of their children. My cousin keeps seeing the adult son of her ex-husband. A couple of years pass and they pump out a few kids. This dude is now a stepfather to his own half-siblings. And his own biological kids are half-siblings to his own half-siblings. We don't talk about my cousin anymore. Beneath that, we have a similar story from Jay Maros. My friend, Mary, dated this guy Paul in her early 20s.

They have a kid. Mary then cheats on Paul with his barely-adult son, Tom, who was 18 at the time. Mary then leaves Paul to be with Tom and they have a kid. Meanwhile, Paul starts dating some 20-something year old woman, Carol. Fast forward a couple of years, and everyone is living together to support the kids. Then, Tom ends up cheating on Mary with Carol. Now, Paul and Carol are still together. Mary has become a swinger, mainly because Tom started taking antidepressants that supposedly killed his libido. So he agreed to let her swing to meet her needs. Mary went to another

party that one of my other friends, Steve, was throwing. Steve was single and Mary was there alone. They ended up bonding big time. Two weeks later, Mary left Tom and is now living with Steve. A year later, Mary and Steve are living together. The kids split time between the households, but it gets even more interesting. Anyways, Paul had two girlfriends cheat on him with his own son. Our next reply comes from Zerby. After doing a DNA test, a family member found out that he had a different dad than his siblings. Since his mother had passed away, he asked his aunt, who seemed perplexed that she'd never told him. Turns out, his mom had an affair with a firefighter who's also long dead. He was more amused than upset by the whole thing.

Our next reply is from Epiphany Phoenix. While my uncle was married, he was in love with and sleeping with his first cousin. During that affair, his wife got pregnant. My uncle didn't want his lover slash cousin to find out, so he made his wife get an abortion. That way, his freaking cousin, whom he was passionately hugging, wouldn't know that he had been sleeping with his wife. Our next reply is from the already said no. My mother's good friend divorced her husband because he was molesting their teenage daughter. Why she didn't see the clues earlier is beyond me. I didn't really know her at all.

That's not the messed up part though. She came home one day to find her daughter on her dad's lap, laughing and cuddling. She was about 19 at the time. The daughter told her mom that they'd been having an affair for quite a while and that her biological dad was her lover slash boyfriend. They said they were in love with each other. I can't remember what kind of charges were brought against him because it was like 20 years ago. I do remember her daughter and husband saying to stay out of it. I believe he served jail time.

My mom's friend died of cancer about 10 years ago and her daughter never talked to her again because she put him in jail and got all the husband's money in the divorce, which was a lot. The whole family was beyond messed up. Our next reply is from Alert Accountant. My great aunt was married five times. Each of her first four husbands died from various causes. Car accident, heart attack, injury while working on their property, and unknown causes in his sleep. The fifth

husband committed suicide. The whole family believed that she somehow, directly or indirectly, killed each of her husbands. I only knew her when I was a little kid, but she was certainly bitter and mean-spirited. You know, the sad thing is but she was certainly bitter and mean-spirited. You know the sad thing is, maybe she was bitter and mean-spirited because all of her husbands keep dying. Or, you know, maybe because she was bitter and mean-spirited, she decided to murder all of her husbands. Guess we'll never know.

Our next reply is from a fat Greek cat. My dad cheated on my mom with her best friend, so they divorced. Then my dad dated the woman that he cheated with for four years, but then they break up. Then the woman marries my dad's best friend. My dad meets a new woman and now the two couples are best friends and swing together. Meanwhile my mom committed suicide. Our next reply is from Stormtrooper Bob. I had this uncle, Ralph, who was married to Alice. They were extremely toxic together.

They got drunk and literally got into physical fights with each other. One day, Ralph posts on social media how sad he is that Alice finally left him, yada yada. No surprise there, and often other members of the family would say, oh yeah, we saw Aunt Alice at the Piggly Wiggly. She's a teacher in another state now. So we all thought that's what happened because there were these constant sightings of Aunt Alice. Fast forward seven years and Uncle Ralph is diagnosed with stage three lung cancer.

He was a chronic smoker, so no surprise there. They did everything they could to save him and finally told him they would be surprised if he survived another month or so. He called a family meeting for a final goodbye, and that's when he admits to everyone. And I mean the whole family was packed into this guy's hospital room, including me, a 13 year old at the time. Anyways, he admits that 7 years ago, he murdered Aunt Alice, buried her body in the woods where he likes to hunt, and that was that.

He passed away the following week. The police did find the remains, and Aunt Alice was put to rest. That's my family scandal in a nutshell. Wait, what I don't understand is, how did all the other family members say that they saw Aunt Alice at Such-and such and such in another state over? Were they just mistaken? Or did they know about the murder and they were covering for the uncle? Our next reply is from Lauren Laughing-Ole.

My dad was adopted and his sisters found him on Ancestry. Then he started sleeping with one of them. And Kaloonsie replies, are you sure it wasn't Ancestry? Man, I wasn't expecting every post on this thread to come basically straight out of an episode of Jerry Springer. Our next reply is from Sporkmurderer. My grandfather was murdered decades ago. The cops knew who did it, but they could never find the guy.

My mom was the youngest of seven kids, and she was always close to one of her brothers. She said she always felt safe around him. He was a steelworker and would cuss like a sailor, but he was always a softy around us kids. Family was important to him. On his deathbed in the hospital, he asked my mom to come closer and told the rest of us to leave the room. My dad took us out of the room and we waited in the hall.

My mom comes out crying, pale as a sheet. My father grabs her and asks her in the hall. My mom comes out crying, pale as a sheet. My father grabs her and asks her what's wrong. She whispers something into his ear and my dad loses all color in his face and runs down the hall to a phone. This was way before cell phones. I looked in at my uncle, who was still alive and he just smiled at me and laid there. So back when my uncle was 19 and my grandfather was murdered, my uncle knew who the guy was who killed my grandfather. My uncle found the guy the same night and killed him. He buried the body in the woods on family land and never told a soul until

he knew that he was going to die himself. My dad and mom called the cops, but my uncle died before they got there. Later, they dug in the spot that he told my mom about and they found a skeleton. My mom and dad never talked about it again and they would get pissed if my brothers or sisters would bring it up. My parents are both gone now, as are all of her siblings. My cousins never talked about it. My uncle's daughters totally deny it. Even after hearing that, I still loved my uncle and I never thought any different of

him. Our next reply is from Eurydice. My cousin had fun time with a girl in the grass and ended up with 37 ticks attached to his balls. You think those ticks were like, man, why is this blood so salty? Our next reply is from DocNes. I had a cousin I used to like. He was active in veteran support circles, and he had been honored at events like baseball

and hockey games. He was lots of fun, non-judgmental, a young veteran, and the family's golden boy. He became even more of a hero after being diagnosed with cancer, presumably as a result of the burn pits in Iraq. He died earlier this year. Three and a half years ago, his younger brother told me that he had been molested by him as a teenager. Not only that, but I found out that much of his service in Iraq had been wildly exaggerated.

Like desk work in a secure area during the relatively peaceful period after Saddam's fall. And a lot of his posturing as a spokesman for veterans was actually him taking credit for the real work being done by his younger brother slash victim on Afghanistan vets. The victim cousin provided proof of all this in the form of texts and a recorded conversation with his brother in which he pretty much admitted to the molestation. This whole thing has divided the extended family. Some of the family are on the victim's side. The rest of the family just kind of pretends that it never happened despite the solid evidence

provided to all of them. The sad thing is that, for years, the victim cousin was denigrated as a black sheep of the family who screwed up and caused drama for no reason. All because his brother controlled the narrative and slandered him at every opportunity while holding himself up as the big war hero who never actually saw combat. Dying of cancer was frankly the best outcome for him. Our next reply is from Solar Windtalker. This isn't about my family, but a co-worker who I worked with years ago.

She was married to her stepbrother, which would have been slightly acceptable if they had met as adults. But no, they'd been raised as siblings. So that was really weird looking in from the outside. But it gets worse. She gets pregnant by her stepbrother slash husband. About six months after the baby is born, her stepbrother slash husband reveals that he's gay.

And he's having an affair with her biological brother, whom he's also known since childhood. So her stepbrother leaves her for her actual brother, and now she's stuck as a single mother raising her son slash nephew-in-law. Her biological brother is also technically considered her child's stepfather and his uncle. This whole situation is messed up, and I can only imagine how awkward Thanksgiving dinners are. Our next reply is from Angry Glitch.

I caught my brother and sister passionately hugging. No one apart from the three of us knows. Obviously, I was disgusted and I don't really know how to talk to them anymore, but there was a tiny part of me that felt excluded. It's stupid and wrong, but the thought that we used to be close and now two of us are much closer without me is really weird. Safe to say the whole situation is screwed. Literally and metaphorically.

Then someone replies, is that you Tyrion Lannister? Our next reply is from Three Dice. It's 1970 and I'm probably 6 or 7 years old at the time. I just came home from first grade and I was watching television when one of my aunts came home and told me to turn off the TV and go upstairs. It was only later that day that I learned the news. My grandfather, who had a massive drinking problem, had been in a one car accident with

my three younger siblings. None of the kids were wearing seatbelts. My youngest brother went through the car windshield, suffered tremendous skull and brain damage, and lived barely another six months before God called him home. For some reason, my baby brother was buried without a tombstone, and the rest of the family basically rallied around my grandfather, declaring that he made a horrible mistake in judgment, but that he was still a good man. First grade me couldn't figure any of that out.

First grade me was still wondering why my brother wasn't home from the hospital the same way that my other brother and sister were able to come home. Forty years later, adult me tried to rectify the situation by paying out of my pocket for my brother's grave marker. With the help of the cemetery office, I was able to get a marker installed in 2010. The crazy part is that my extended family members accused me of ripping open old wounds. That what my grandfather did was just a mistake, an accident, an error. And that my baby brother is now just an angel floating around in heaven. Even to this day, I won't drink one drop of beer or alcohol.

Also, I've cut myself off from the rest of my family for good. As far as I'm concerned, they can all go to hell. That was r slash ask reddit and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.