rSlash - r/Askreddit What's your greatest "I TOLD YOU SO!" Moment?

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

This podcast is a combination of the following 2 YouTube videos: r/Askreddit What's Your Greatest "I CALLED IT!" Moment?  r/Askreddit - Surgeons, What are the Best Things People Have Said Under the... Gas? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:12 Product availability may vary by region. See you after details. Welcome to our slash ask Reddit. We're users answer the question. What's your greatest, most satisfying, eye-epping called it moment. Our first reply is from No-No-Pen-Earp. I kept finding small, cut-up straws in my grandma's bathroom.
Starting point is 00:00:32 So many straws. I let my grandmother know that someone is using her bathroom to use drugs. She freaks out, saying I'm accusing her of using drugs and that it's impossible. A year later, my uncle divorces his wife due to her cocaine addiction. My grandma says, Well, she always stopped buying the afternoon to use the restroom, and then she would clean my whole house, and I just didn't think anything of it. My favorite story at Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 00:01:06 Our next replies from Helvetica Bold. Late to the party here, but what the heck? Cause this story is bonkers. Back in the early 90s, I was in my early 20s and as people in the early 20s often do, I spent a lot of late nights at my local dinnys hanging out with friends and drinking jeep coffee. The late night wait staff was pretty small, so my friends and I wound up getting to know them pretty well, socializing with them as well.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Some of them would hook us up with free fries or sodas, that kind of thing. And every now and again, if things were slow, they'd sit down at our booth with us. One of the people who would hang out with us was Charles. Charles was an older guy in his 50s who was very nice to my friends and me, but he was a little...creepy. He would never get a word about it, but he definitely embraced the whole creepy uncle persona. Maybe even being a little tongue in cheek about it.
Starting point is 00:01:59 He'd tell the girls in my group how pretty they were, and how he wished he was still young. That sort of thing. Reading between the lines, he was telling them he wished he could have hugged them passionately. But this is not going where you think it is. I'm just sitting at this stage y'all. The guy was a little weird, but he was a nice guy to us. All the same, I remember telling people, Charles has a secret. He's in his 50s, slinging coffee at an all night restaurant, but he comes off as educated
Starting point is 00:02:30 and sort of worldly. He talks about traveling and living well. I don't know what it is, but Charles is damaged. I bet he killed somebody or something. I was convinced that the nice guy bid was a cover for something dark. Uh, yeah. So, as my group got older, people came and went. Some of us fell out with others, some of us got real jobs, and couldn't stay up until 4 a.m. at a dinnys.
Starting point is 00:02:56 And we eventually stopped hanging out there. I never really gave Charles much thought after that for years. Then, I saw Charles on the news. Turns out Charles was Charles Rothenberg, a man who in 1983 was going through a bad divorce. And what I understand was originally intended to be a murder suicide. He drugged his six year old son, David,
Starting point is 00:03:21 doused the boy in kerosene and lit him on fire. David survived, but was horribly scarred for the rest of his life. Charles continued to get into criminal trouble and was ultimately sentenced to 25 years in prison as a result of California's three strikes law. He is still in prison today, but in the late 90s he changed his name to Charlie Charles because, sure, why not? In 1988, there was a TV movie based on the incident called David, which starred Bernadette Peters as his mother.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Meanwhile, his son David became one of Michael Jackson's child friends and eventually an artist. When he was 19, he visited Charles in prison, apparently reading a prepared statement to him, Charles, you're not my father, you're an imposter. Parents don't hinder their children from experiencing unnormal childhood. I wish that you could experience the trauma and pain that I have gone through. Afterward, David told the press, he wanted me to know that he loved me. The last thing I said was, no you don't, and I walked out.
Starting point is 00:04:28 In a somewhat bizarre turn, David later legally changed his name to Dave Dave, mirroring the Charlie Charles name his father adopted. I have no idea if this is coincidental somehow, but the irony is not lost on me, that's for sure. Dave Dave even appeared on the Larry King King Show to talk about Michael Jackson when he died. If I recall correctly, he defended Jackson against the reports of child molestation and denied he was a victim of Jackson's. Unfortunately, Dave Dave himself passed away last year at the age of 42, his ongoing medical
Starting point is 00:05:02 issues which were the result of his burn injuries, eventually killed him. And, in my opinion, that means Charles was ultimately successful in murdering his son. So yeah, I called it. Charles was harboring something dark when he was getting free fries from my friend and telling the girls how pretty they were. I just had no idea how dark. Remember guys, always tip your waiter
Starting point is 00:05:28 because there's a chance your waiter might just be a psychopathic murderer. Our next Reddit post is from Allisade. Probably too late, but I wanna share this anyway. The last few months of my wife's pregnancy with my daughter, the little baby would regular as clockwork around 10.30pm. Put her feet against my wife's ribs and try to straighten her legs so she could
Starting point is 00:05:50 headbutt her way out of my wife. BAM! Headbutt to the inside of your whatever. My wife would effing jump up, cursing like a sailor every time. It was painful, but also hilarious, reliable. And I guess we knew she'd be an active little kid well before she was born. Cut to the evening of her birth. The doctor is telling us around 9pm that things are going well, but he's going to get dinner because he hasn't eaten, and there's no way this kid is coming out before midnight. I look at my wife, look at the dog, and say, don't go far. The kid is going to deliver herself around 10-30pm.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I promise you, you're just going to have to catch her. He laughed, told us he's been doing this a long time and he wasn't worried. At 10-25 he's rushing in and barely gets his gloves and scrubs on before my daughter shoots herself out of mommy like a greased bullet. Dereff quote from the doctor looking at me as he holds my little darling, well, I guess even I can learn things still. I don't blame him at all. Who would believe parents about something like that? But that kid had done so many test runs on such a regular schedule
Starting point is 00:07:00 I knew there was no stopping her. And fair game, getting hit by a daily for a month or whatever, as it trade off to having a very short and easy labor, there are worst deals. Our next red-apposite from Talas. I had a friend who started dating a guy while she was in the middle of rehab for alcohol and drug abuse. I found out the guy was a former meth user. I told her she was going to end up in prison or worse if she didn't break up with him.
Starting point is 00:07:27 She was on probation for multiple DUIs. Within two months, not only was she in prison, she was pregnant while in prison. Our next Reddit post is from Triples I. The first Avengers movie, my husband was wondering why the staff could stop the all mighty Tesseract. I casually said, maybe they're both Infinity Stones. He said, nah, the Tesseract is its own thing. Because he was more into the comics at the time, I shrugged it off.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Since then, every MacGuffin in the movies, down to Thor's Dark World, I jokingly said, Infinity Stone to troll him. You can imagine how pissed he's been since Guardians. Our next reddit post is from Sad lawnmower. I went to the theater to watch a movie with some buddies one time. While waiting in line to get popcorn, I found 22 cents on the ground and one buddy said, when are you ever gonna need 22 cents? I jokingly told him that one day he's gonna wish he had 22 cents and he'll
Starting point is 00:08:26 regret saying that. Sure enough, when we're paying for popcorn, that same buddy was exactly 22 cents short. I gave it to him in exchange for a popcorn tax. Our next Reddit post is from number 17. A dude at work had been complaining about his crazy girlfriend and her problems. Two weeks later, he's talking about how she's pregnant. In my head I'm thinking, she's gonna lose the baby because it isn't real. Sure enough, he comes in all said, about two more weeks later saying she had a miscarriage. Some time passed and he's complaining about her crazy antics again. Our next
Starting point is 00:09:06 post is from couchlicker. I told my girlfriend at the time that her best guy friend is into her. She kept saying she only saw him as her gay best friend and he only sees her as a sister. Well, she ended up cheating on me with him and they started dating after I broke up with her. I'd like to think that I won that argument. I see this as an absolute win. Our next Reddit post is from Hamsterbuts. My boyfriend's best friend, let's call him Jon, started asking me for favors and texting me at odd hours at the night.
Starting point is 00:09:39 I felt uneasy about Jon's actions and informed my boyfriend every time I was contacted as soon as it happened. I explained to my boyfriend that John was acting suspiciously and making me uncomfortable, but I couldn't pinpoint why. Cut to a month later, and John claims that I cheated on my boyfriend with John. I freaking knew it. Disclaimer, I didn't do anything with Jon. Our next reddit postage from IT Works, guys.
Starting point is 00:10:08 My wife and I went to Red Lobster one day. My wife likes the shrimp and lobster pasta with parmesan cheese. They sat her plate down. She got a weird look on her face. She told me it smelled weird. It smelled normal to me. I straight up asked her if she could be pregnant. Her eyes got wide as she starts doing some math in her head. We went afterwards and got a pregnancy test. Sure
Starting point is 00:10:32 enough, she didn't even know yet. All because I remember some random tidbit about some food smelling off to pregnant women. Our next reddit post is from Obscurity Knox. When I was in sixth grade, I became friends with a couple other girls in my neighborhood. We each had completely different backgrounds, but we just clicked. For years, we did all the things good friends do. The only thing I personally didn't like was to stay over at the house of one of these girls, I'll call her Brianna. I'd sleep over at the other girls' house. They could sleep in mine, but I always came up with an excuse not to stay at Brianna's. She started to get her feelings hurt, but I ignored it. Then, when we were all about 16, someone got a
Starting point is 00:11:16 hold of liquor and we all sat around drinking. Being drunk, we got into a little debate about who was better friends with who, and I was somehow accused of not liking Brianna as much as the other friend, because I wouldn't spend much time at her house. Since I had zero filter at that moment, I've blurred it out, Brianna, it isn't you, it's your dad, he's a child molester, I can tell just by looking at him. As soon as I said it, everything changed. I apologized, but that didn't work, of course. Both of my best girlfriends dumped me that day.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I still had a solid best friend, but I had to get myself a new group for sure. Also, they started bullying me a bit, but I just took it because of the horrible thing I said about Brianna's dad. I felt super guilty. Three years later, I was out of high school, living with my best friend who was still friends with Brianna. I got home from class, and there was Brianna sitting on the living room couch. It was so uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:12:18 I decided to try to apologize again. Hey, I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but I am so very sorry for what I said about your dad, Brianna. Please forgive me, I still don't know why I'd say such a thing. She sort of chuckled and said, it's no big deal, he molested all of us. I never questioned my intuition again because I effing called it, The second I saw that perv. Our next Reddit post is from a fool. In Canada, we have a holiday called Family Day in February. In 2008, my wife was dealing with a sick family member out of town and had to come back for a visit.
Starting point is 00:12:56 We were trying to have a child at the time. Well, with our crazy schedules, we had one chance on family day. The moment we were done, I jumped up, gave her the double finger guns, first time in my life, and said, bam, you're pregnant, twin girls red hair. Turns out I got everything right except the red hair. Her Italian jeans beat me in that one. I win for our entire marriage with that prediction. Our next Reddit post is from my animals bite. In high school, my best friend's little sister, 16 at the time, brought home her new 18-year-old boyfriend from work to meet the family. I was over at the time and talked to him for a while because we were the same age.
Starting point is 00:13:40 After meeting him, something was off. I got the impression that, one, he was much older than claiming, and two had been in jail. I wound up saying something to my friend who told his parents and sister. Long story short, the family freaked out on me for spreading rumors that weren't true, telling me to mind my own business, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Two years later, the sister comes home from a date with him in tears. He finally came out and admitted to her that, one, he was 30, not the now 20 he was saying. Two, he had spent two years in prison, but refused to say for what. I was very quick to point out to the family how I called this year's earlier and was basically shamed out of their house. Our next reddit posted from last eclipse. I caught up with a high school friend on a university campus.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Pretty quiet guy, subtle good looks but never showed any interest in relationships. We were waiting for separate buses when he runs into one of his classmates and she joins us in the bus line. We were having pretty good conversation, but I saw her eyes repeatedly flickering over his face. Soon after, my bus pulled up so I smiled and waited to buy to my friend. And I said to the girl, it was great meeting you, I'm sure I'll see you a lot more in the future. She looked puzzled but smiled and waved back. They're in a common law marriage now, and getting officially married next year. And they've been valuable friends to my fiance and I for the last six years.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Our next reddit posted from Jokeyaha. My husband is super medically fragile. He's had cancer twice and a bone marrow transplant in the last nine years. A few years ago, he had surgery on his wrist, and I had a gut feeling he was brewing an infection despite being on antibiotics. His surgeon's office saw him and switched ABX. I contacted the Cancer Center because I just knew it was going to become more.
Starting point is 00:15:39 They blew me off and punted me back to the surgeon's office. I knew this was beyond the surgeon's scope. I pitched a tantrummy fit and pretty much told them they were going to see him, and I wasn't accepting no for an answer. The triage phone nurse was condescending and telling me it was probably nothing and could wait. We got to the clinic and the nurse they started looking around the incision site. she told me that she believed my gut and pushed to admit him. The CT showed a huge infection that landed him in the hospital for a week on potent IV antibiotics with another surgery to clean out the sites.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Our next Reddit post is from Biggie Mclarge. I had a friend who bought $2,000 worth of a penny stock and share prices went up by a factor of 10. So he had $20,000 worth of this stock in less than one week. He called me to basically brag about how smart he was for finding this great stock. I congratulated him and strongly advised him multiple times to cash out at least $2,000. I suggested $5,000. That would leave him with 75% or more of his original shares and he would be playing with house money. If the stock continued shooting up, he would be filthy rich either way. But if the shares tanked in value then at least he wouldn't
Starting point is 00:17:03 be out any money. Not only did he not listen to me. He invested more and lost absolutely all of it. I found out later that all the money he invested $10,000 was actually from a loan he had taken out to try his hand in the stock market. If I had known that, I would have been even more adamant about caching out. Imagine paying off a $10,000 loan in a week and still having $10,000 in the bank. But I don't think he would have listened to me no matter what I said. Just a funny anecdote. In the midst of this, he gave his mom a birthday card that contained a single dollar bill. And he wrote inside, this is the first of millions.
Starting point is 00:17:50 My friend is an idiot. We'll be back with more R-slash content right after this short break. Your business has grown fast, from opening your first location to planning an expansion in no time. And with your business platinum card from American Express, you can access spending power and payment flexibility to fuel your growth. Sarah, the contractor is here with the plans. American Express, don't do business without it.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Terms and conditions apply as at amx.ca slash business platinum. For your holiday season, real Canadian superstar has more legendary ways to save than any other major grocer. Until December 6th, get a free jumble point set when you spend $300 or more. Plus, PCOpplement members can get select PC or no name cheese at $3.99. Conditions apply to fly for details. A welcome to our slash ask credit. Where people answer the question, anesthesiologists, what are the best things people have said under the gas? Two of my favorite, both patients coming out of anesthesia.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Am I in heck? I responded, no, you're not, you're just in recovery. That sounds like something the devil would say. Count backwards from 100 to prove it. Or the one who stroked my unshaved arm while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV and muttered, you'd make such a great carpet. When I got put under for a colonoscopy, I didn't really fall asleep during the countdown. I just looked at the nurse a bit, confused, and said, um, I don't notice anything.
Starting point is 00:19:26 And she smiled and squeezed my wrist and said, just give it a moment. As soon as she said that, I started fading out, and according to her, the last thing I mumbled was, oh, that's messed up, you magic witch. I had to go under for ear surgery once. I thought it'd be funny if I asked, does anyone need anything while I'm out, right before I went under? I remember it kicking in way quicker than I thought it would, so I had to take my chance while I still had it.
Starting point is 00:19:55 I yelled it, but got a very confused look from everyone standing around me. Took a minute for me to realize I had accidentally yelled it while I was waking up from surgery. Whoops! My husband went under last year and once he woke up by appearances he was as sober as a church mouse, walking, asking serious questions of the doctor, apparently no issues at all. He remembered the procedure and described it to me in detail. I figured he just never went completely under. I've never really figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out what to do.
Starting point is 00:20:43 I've never figured out what to do. I've never figured out on a stick. I had a similar incident with a concussion, 14-year-old trying to impress friends at summer camp on the first day. I jumped over a picnic bench and cleared it easily. I didn't see that there was a rock the size of two fists where I landed, ended up tripping over that and slammed my head on the dirt. Got up immediately, played it off like nothing happened. Since I landed on dirt, I didn't have too bad of a scrape. Ended up chatting with everyone, jumped the picnic bench
Starting point is 00:21:13 again since I was mad at what happened. Walked a girl to her cabin and told her I liked her. Walked to my cabin and grabbed my toiletries. Went to the bathroom and took a shower. This is when I woke up. Had everything explained to me after. Also, I showered with my shirt and socks on. Forgot those. Nurse anesthetist here. When I was in school, I was getting ready to get a lady off to sleep
Starting point is 00:21:36 and going through my regular spiel. I had the mask on her face and I said nice big breaths. As I pushed propa fall. Right before she went out she said, thanks I just had them done. I looked at my preceptor, we looked at the circulator and we all burst out laughing. I now say slow deep breaths instead. I love telling that story, that lady made all our days. Last year they were knocking me out for colonoscopy. It was the third time I'd been put under in a year. As such, I had a curiosity.
Starting point is 00:22:11 I'd heard that when they knock you out, you're still awake for a while. You just don't remember. So, in this spirit of science, I proposed a test with the anesthesiologist. When she started the medicine, I would begin counting backwards. When I would wake up,
Starting point is 00:22:24 we would compare what I remembered to what she observed. Plunge your down, 99, 98, 97. I remembered nothing more. Minutes later, I awoke. The anesthesiologist spied me and came over quickly. What do you remember, she asked? 97. She began laughing.
Starting point is 00:22:43 You got down to 7. I was having a broken wrist set, and the doctor told me to count from 100. He told me afterward that I got to 50, stopped for about 5 minutes, started back up again, and finished. My dad works with that stuff. Funny as he's heard is, hey Mr. Doctor, my butt itches, and I'm too high to scratch. My wife is an anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is, this is better than meth. When I was nine and having jaw surgery, the surgeon was putting me under and said, say by to your mommy, and apparently nine year old me thought that meant they were going to
Starting point is 00:23:21 kill me. My mother says I gave her a look of absolute terror and then passed out. In high school, I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury. After the surgery, I woke up in post-op, which was a fairly large room with probably six to seven other patients and beds waiting to become conscious again. I was lying there all groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with the computer on it.
Starting point is 00:23:50 They stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper, we've got to plug this thing in or this one is going to die. Naturally, Simmy conscious me thought that the thing was me and I started to ink coherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever I started to ink coherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive. Turns out it was the battery on the laptop that was going to die. Apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low. Not an anesthesiologist but when I went in for my gallbladder surgery the nurse was an
Starting point is 00:24:22 old coworker and I blurted out on the table. I knew you'd see me naked before I was out. I broke my hand tumbling once and had to get surgery. He goes to put the mask on my face and says, this is oxygen. I cough as the mask goes on. He pulls the mask away and I said, I trusted you, you lying F. That's the last thing I remember. I have a few. My first is a 17 year old that just got her appendix out.
Starting point is 00:24:49 She seemed really stoic and introverted when I first interviewed her, but when I was dropping her in the recovery room, she went into total bro mode. She kept saying everything was F'ing lit. She kept saying, let's party bro and responded to every question with a f'yad dude. My favorite though was a surgery on a lady in her 80s. She volunteered at the hospital and was a widow. In the recovery room, I started hooking up her ECG. This involves attaching some cables to stickers up on her chest. When I reach for them, she tried to just pull her gown down and show me her breasts. I said, no, you don't need to do that. She just said, this is so exciting, it's been a while since
Starting point is 00:25:34 I've been with a man. The nurse just started laughing and I got a little red. She then said, it's sure getting hot in here. Sorry, it's been a while. I had to leave after that. I was way too uncomfortable. I am a CNA, female in my 50s. I was assisting a lady in her 90s who needed two people to help her up. My coworker was a very young and easily embarrassed dude. In reaching for the gate belt, I pinched this poor woman's nipple and she yelped. I apologize profusely. That's okay. It's not like they haven't been pinched before."
Starting point is 00:26:14 She replied happily, and my coworker almost fainted in horror. I had my wisdom teeth out and supposedly still bleeding a good amount on the way to CBS to pick up the meds. My mom was driving and I was just staring out the window collecting blood in my mouth. Eventually it reached a point it was too much at a red light. Roll down the window and just let it all flow out of my mouth. I look up and this lady is looking at me with just pure horror on her face. I proceeded while still in some sort of haze from the drugs to give her what I can imagine. The bloodiest smile anyone has ever seen.
Starting point is 00:27:05 She wasn't originally turning right, but proceeded to make an immediate turn. I am so glad I can remember this while still being high. That reminds me of when my boyfriend got his wisdom teeth out. He took a long time to come back around. We went to the pharmacy to pick up his meds and he demanded he be allowed to come inside instead of waiting the car. I reluctantly obliged because I was nervous about what he'd do if I left him alone. And every stranger we came into contact with, he gave the bloodiest smile. Literal blood dripping out onto a shirt, saying, I just got my wisdom teeth out, most customers were not amused.
Starting point is 00:27:48 When I was waking up from shoulder surgery on a pretty substantial dose of fentanyl, my wife told me that I looked at the head nurse and said, your boobs are spectacular, I want to see them. I have no memory of it, but apparently my wife was mortified, and the nurse thought it was hysterical. She also said it wasn't particularly unusual to get comments of that sort. When I was put under for a kille's tendon surgery when I was 16, I asked the anesthesiologist how long he had to go to med school, and he responded with, all day. Not anesthesia, but patient was heavily sedated and ICU. The nurse gave an
Starting point is 00:28:26 inema, the half-conscious response. Honey, you know I don't like it that way. I have a similar story, colonoscopy, very prim and proper lady under sedation. As the scope was introduced, she exclaimed, oh darling, you said you wouldn't do that anymore. Too many to count during my 15 years of practice. That's some good sheeeeee. Falling asleep midsonance. I want to have your babies, a 55 year old woman to my medical student. You're really going to shove that whole thing up my butt to the endoscopist right before colonoscopy. Big or small, I love them all. 90-year-old woman talking to nurses about men. Do I need to take my underwear off?
Starting point is 00:29:16 Teenager about to go into labor. I'm not sure how this happened. Another pregnant teenager. I don't want you to be too surprised by my tattoo, a conservative-looking Asian man with a Pinocchio tattoo around his member, and the member is the nose. Where did all the American doctors go? Guy covered with swastikas to a room filled with Asian doctors and nurses. I was given a relaxer prior to colonoscopy and was rolled into the room. The doctor asked me what I'd done that weekend.
Starting point is 00:29:48 I said I went to the Minnesota State Fair. Oh, she says, eat anything interesting? I said, why don't you tell me? No laughter, whatever, in the room. And then I was out. I swear, she gave an extra shove because I half woke up during the procedure and remember groaning. None Anisees Yologist, but was a tech.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Had a patient wake up violently. When he came to, he said, sorry, I thought I was a shark. My Anisees Yologist tried to calm me down with a joke when I was a little kid being put under. My mom later told me about how I apparently commented on the joke being not at all funny and how I hoped he was more talented as a doctor. Mine kept telling dad jokes and I apparently said, thank god I'm going to be unconscious soon as a critique of his jokes. I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg.
Starting point is 00:30:43 I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring, kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was okay. I looked around, saw everyone caring about me and said, F this loudly and very clearly, and went right back to sleep. My friends thought it was hilarious, my mom was mortified. Similar story, I was coming out of general anesthesia for an emergency appendectomy. Woke up, my family was all in the room. I remember feeling warm fuzzies that they were so concerned for me, and thought I just dozed back off. Turns out, I woke up, surveyed the room, locked eyes with my mom, and said, I told you
Starting point is 00:31:24 I didn't just have menstrual cramps, then passed back out with a smug look on my face. I liked that in your highest moment, your basic instinct was to rub it in your mother's face that she was wrong. I was about to be put under for a colonoscopy while the nurse was trying to position me in a way to make it easiest for them to work. I had my knees to my chest and was passing out from the gas when I asked the nurse to paint me like one of our French girls then passed out. Still makes me cringe.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Might be late, but I have a story. I got my wisdom teeth removed at 16. I grew up in a small remote white Canadian town. We had to travel to a slightly larger, slightly less remote town to visit the hospital there for the procedure. The new Anisees Yalges there was a very nice Chinese doctor whose family had just moved up from the city. Now, and this is important later, I had just returned from a year away.
Starting point is 00:32:25 I spent a year of high school as an exchange student in Taiwan and had only gotten back a few weeks earlier. Proceed your happens, nothing major goes wrong, and I come to a hospital room in a fair bit of pain but mostly fine. My dad had driven me to the hospital and came in to see me and get me up to take me home. The minute he saw me, he burst into a laughing fit, and I could tell from his face that he'd been laughing about as hard as anyone could laugh. Once he finally found his composure, he explained to me what had happened.
Starting point is 00:32:55 The anesthesiologist and a nurse came out into the waiting room after I was put under and apparently were white as ghosts. My dad asked if anything was wrong, and eventually the anesthesiologist, still in a days, explained to my dad that after he administered the anesthesia, but before I was fully out of it, I began speaking to him in fluent Mandarin, and that he thought maybe he needed to call someone to ask how it's possible that this redneck white teenager could suddenly gain the ability to speak Chinese under anesthesia? Needless to say, my dad thought this was hilarious and explained to the doctors relief that
Starting point is 00:33:33 the white kid did already know how to speak Mandarin and that he hadn't damaged my brain somehow. That was our slash ass credit and this is our slash puppy bloopers. Anesthesiologists. Dog. Anesthesiologists. Dog, this word's hard to say, do you mind? Anesthesiologists. Anesthesiologists, what are the best things people have?
Starting point is 00:33:59 Dog, stop making me say that word over. Anesthesiologists, what are the, ah. Dog, pooch. Stop making me say that word over. Anesthesiologist, what are the... Ugh. Ugh. Dog pooch. Pooch, what do you want? Ugh, smooch the pooch. Ugh, I'm smooch the pooch.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Nope, nope, you can't have that. Two of my favorite, both patients. Two of my favorite, both patients coming. Dog. Who's, what do you want? What do you want, dog? Two of my, come on man. Err.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Am I in heck? Ha ha ha. Sorry to feel like I'm in hell. Come on, dog. I responded. Dog. Dog. That sounds like some... Pooch.
Starting point is 00:35:00 I don't know, I don't know. Or the one... Dog. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Or the one dog. Or the one who stroked. Please, please, dog. My husband, my husband went under last. He remembered the procedure and described it to me in detail. He remembered and I started to incoherently yell for the... Give me that. Give me to me.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Apparently the death rate for an ACL repair and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to... go here and yell for the nurses to. And I started to incorrectly yell. When I went in for my gallbladder surgery, the nurse wasn't old. But when I went in for my gallbladder surgery, dog. But when I went in for my gallbladder surgery. Dog. But when I went in for my, but when I went in for my,
Starting point is 00:36:11 but when I went, oh, oh, what do you want from me? What do you want from me? Um. I'm going to get a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

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