rSlash - r/Askreddit What's Your "Mouth Wrote a Check Your Butt Can't Cash" Story?

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:03 Todays question 0:10 Fights 1:14 Comment 1:56 Doors 2:38 Comment 4:05 Car show 6:02 Kickboxer 6:41 Bro 7:49 Waffle House 9:17 Punk 10:19 Nascar 11:41 Prison Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get unlimited grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Meal prep? Delivered. Snacks? Delivered. Fresh fruit? Delivered. Grocery delivery? On repeat for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at PCExpress.ca Welcome to r slash AskReddit, where users answer the question, what's the wildest, mouth-wroted check that their butt couldn't cash moment you've ever seen?

Our next reply is from Pasumnal. Seen firsthand, there's a couple of fights that come to mind. One was outside of an underground club. This drunk guy was getting into it with a rando in the parking lot, who was considerably bigger and more sober than the drunkie. The drunk a-hole is fuming mad, spouting all manner of profanity at this dude's entire family tree, and of course, challenges the guy to a fight. At which point, rando pulls out lightweight training gloves from his bag and says, trust

me, you're gonna wanna do this on grass. His friends try to drag him away, That guy's gonna kill you! Who just carries gloves around? But oh no, Drunky was ready to fight with the fury of a thousand sons. Shortest fight you've ever seen. Rando knocked him out cleanly in one punch and caught his head on the way down. Downright compassionate, LMAO. Never seen anything quite like it. Then beneath that we have a similar story from Fiklun. I once watched a young, clean-cut Brazilian dude walk out of a bottle shop and some young drunk guy bumped into him and asked if he wanted to fight. The Brazilian guy politely apologized and said no, but the other

guy started pushing him. The Brazilian guy shrugged, calmly put his carton of beer down, knocked the drunk guy out with a single punch, picked up his beer and winked and smiled as he calmly walked past me while the other guy's mate all stood there laughing. I aspire to be that cool and confident under pressure. Yeah, I think when the guy brought out the sparring gloves, that's a pretty good sign that maybe you should let this fight pass on by, chief. Our next reply is from Must Love Kitties. I was waiting in line to pay cover at a bar and the exit doors were right beside us. They were big double steel doors with a solid metal jam divider in between them. A guy was being escorted out by

two bouncers. He was screaming that once they got him outside they better run because he was gonna kick both their butts at once. He slammed a hand into each door to throw them open, smashing his face off the metal divider, knocking himself out cold. One of the greatest things I ever saw. I feel like that would have such a comedic sound effect. Just, you just wait, I'll kick your butts, clang! And beneath that, a similar story from Old Mud Magic. I was waiting tables at a bar, and I hear some commotion over the band. I turn in time to see some guy rip himself away from security who was about to drag him out,

and take off running at full speed for what he thought was the exit door. There was an in door which swung open into the bar and an out door that did not. He hit so hard that he knocked himself out cold. The bouncer just dragged him outside and left him there on the pavement. It was like a cartoon. I still laugh when I remember. And a similar story from Zecken. I was at a bar a few years ago, sitting at the tables outside. I was the sober driver that night. It was a popular bar late on a Friday night.

A couple of cops were parked outside, just watching and keeping the peace. Suddenly, this clearly drunk kid, barely 18 if he even was, I imagine, walks up to the cops, starts talking trash to them, throwing insults and slurs Staging up trying to act like a tough guy cops do nothing just try to de-escalate and tell him to go home This isn't America if it wasn't obvious they keep up with this the kids been going on at them for probably 10 to 15 minutes now, and with them being nothing but perfectly professional and non-aggressive response from the cops. And then he goes to shove one of the cops.

He instantly was grabbed, slammed into the side of the cop car, cuffed, shoved inside it and taken away. Dumb kid. Our next reply is from Grooves. I was once at a car show and I saw a man get in the face and start yelling at another guy who was in a Wheelchair, I have no idea what started this but after a few seconds of back and forth and the standing guy putting his finger in The face of the wheelchair guy with the I'm gonna kick your butt body language The wheelchair guy used his arms to launch himself out of the chair

Grabbed the other guy in a headlock, dragged him to the ground, and then just pounded his face in. Absolutely nobody would do anything to intervene, because who's gonna put their hands on a paraplegic giving someone a well-deserved beating? When Wheelchair Guy was done, he army-crawled back to his chair, stood it up, crawled in, and just wheeled away slowly like nothing happened. The other guy's face was a mess and had blood streaming down his face. It took him a while to get up and stumble off.

I sometimes wonder if the guy that got beat up ever tells people about the time that he got his butt kicked by a guy in a wheelchair. The reply beneath that says, yeah, I look bad, but the other guy had to leave in a wheelchair. And then also true, this reply from Villainous points out, man, you never pick a fight with a dude in a wheelchair. If you win, you're the butthole who beat up a guy in a wheelchair. If you lose, you got beat up by a guy in a wheelchair.

There's no good outcome here. And, you know, I think a lot of fist fights will just end when the two guys walk away. But if one guy beats another guy in a wheelchair, I think there's a much higher chance of this going to court. And there's no way you're getting the jury's sympathy if you punched out a dude in a wheelchair. Also, I'd like to point out that if you ever watch training sequences for Ultimate Ninja Warrior, basically it's guys who just do everything with their hands. I saw a guy who trained by walking upstairs with his hands. Our next reply is from Imajeka. My older brother was drunk and picked a fight with what turned out to be one of British Columbia's

top 10 kickboxers. Even drunk, the other guy knew not to go for an easy knockout. He messed my brother up with body blows before he got bored and laid him out. It's one of my favorite moments. And a similar story from Steeze Scralper. I once got into a snowball fight outside of a bar with a guy who turned out to be a reserve quarterback for the BC Lions. I couldn't believe the accuracy and power behind those throws.

I bought him a beer and we ended up having a pretty good laugh about it. Our next reply is from Engun. I watched some college bro douchebags continually make fun of a rugby team out at a fancy dress slash costume bar crawl. The rugby players were all dressed as superheroes, wearing spandex outfits. The hid douche nozzle kept chirping about a massive dude wearing a Robin costume. The rugby guys ignored the douchebags for a while until hid douche intentionally walked up and knocked Robin's pint out of his hand.

Robin proceeded to beat the piss out of the three guys, including Hidouche, all the while wearing green spandex pants. It was poetic to watch. The comments are all, POW! BAM! ZAP! CURSE SPLAT!

SPORT! BLAM! Hey guys, if you were making a top 5 list of athletes from sports you don't want to mess with, would rugby make that list? You know, actually, let's drop it to top 3. Because for me, number 1 would be definitely all the mixed martial arts, so jujitsu, boxing, wrestling, we'll lump all those together. Number 2 on the list might be rugby?

That or hockey, I feel like, right? Our next reply is from Argent. A couple buddies and I finished work at 1am and went to grab a bite at Waffle House. The guy manning the grill that night was a Polynesian gentleman named Isaac who was about 5'4", in terms of both height AND width. The dude was built like a fire hydrant. A drunk couple came in acting all sloppy, talking trash, making a scene, and got booted right as Isaac went to have a smoke break. The guy got an Isaac's face, spit on him, and the entire restaurant got to watch as

Iac slowly and methodically took off his apron, folded it up, took off his work shirt, folded that up, then turned back around and absolutely crumpled the guy. Like I'm pretty sure that this guy's kids are going to be born with traumatic brain injuries from the genetic memory of being punched in the face so hard. Isaac, not even breathing all that hard, turns back around, unfolds his shirt, puts it on, unfolds his apron and puts that on, and is finishing his cigarette as the cops rolled in to haul the guy. His girl got real cooperative in a hurry away. Okay, you know actually that list I made of the top three worst people to fight with. Yeah, number one

you've got all the all the mixed fighters. Number two will say rugby players. Number three is Pacific Islanders. I realize Pacific Islanders isn't a sport, but they're dangerous enough, let's just put them there anyways. Our next reply is from Jamie Eats Cheese. I was serving drinks at a club on a punk music night. The band that night was particularly wild, and the normal working class group of regulars were being hassled by a group of skinheads that were only there to fight. A large Native American guy was sick of the harassment the skins were throwing down and asked them to knock it off. One of them, wearing a bowler hat and dressed in white,

like the guys in Clockwork Orange, got in his face and started trying to make the Native kid flinch. After a bit of taunting, the skin, at the encouragement of his friends, smacked the kid hard across the face. At that point, the Native Kid stood up from the bar stool and revealed that he was a good foot and a half taller than the skin. He put a monster hand around his throat and walked the skin out the side emergency exit while he kicked and tried to fight back.

I heard some panicked screaming coming from the open door, but it started and stopped almost immediately. The Native kid came back inside about 30 seconds later wearing the Skinhead's bowler hats. Our next reply is from Barrington McGregor. This was at a NASCAR event many years ago. Some guys in their early 20s walked to our neighbor's RV and grabbed a bottle of booze from their table. The neighbors were walking around the infield partying elsewhere. I was a kid at the time, and I told the folks that I was

with and the adults, a bunch of middle-aged, overweight, functioning alcoholics, who walked up and grabbed the bottle from the younger guys. A few words were shouted and the parties went their separate ways. Well, one of the older guys was a little slower and had a bum knee, and a couple of the younger guys decided to turn back around and circle around him. There were some threats, name calling, etc. The lead butthole said something along the lines of, you don't have your buddies now, wanna repeat what you said now that you're surrounded?

And the older guy said something like, your buddies might take me down, but you'll be asleep before they do. The butthole lunged, caught a hook, and down he went. By then, most of the group that I was with came running back, realizing they were missing one. The only person that got hurt was the mouthy kid. Now I was maybe 12 at the time, and this was almost 30 years ago now, so my memory may be a bit fuzzy.

But I specifically recall the fuzzy, but I specifically recall the words, but you'll be asleep, and I couldn't get over how effing cool that was to say before knocking some guy out. Our next reply is from Chrisivi Gardi. I worked at a prison. A young punk tried to pick a fight with a mentally challenged person who liked to work out to ease his frustrations. The mentally challenged one fed the punk a steady diet of lefts and rights until he got

tired of punching. He then grabbed the instigator by the belt and the collar and threw him into a sink. The sink broke off the wall and he started beating the punk with the sink. All said, the punk had a broken cheekbone, broken nose, broken orbital, a few teeth knocked out, and needed stitches in a handful of places. The punk maybe got two good punches in before he got worked. That was r slash ask reddit, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.