rSlash - r/Bestof A FAKE Wedding Ruined My Life

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Wedding Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Welcome to r slash best of Redditor Updates, where we have one of the weirdest stories I've ever read about a fake wedding. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash wedding shaming.

I'm a 30-year-old woman. Me and my brother, who's 31, have always been close as twins. Twins? Wait, how is OP 30 and her brother is 31 but they're twins? OP probably mistyped her or her brother's age. Our closeness is a foundation in our family. One of the true, consistent relationships.

Obviously, not in a weird way. Whenever we fight, which is infrequent and usually just small fights, the whole family feels it and tries to fix it because of how unnatural it feels for everyone. He gave me away at my wedding. I named a child after him. We have matching tattoos. We talk on the phone almost every day.

He started planning his wedding and he asked me to be a groomsman while his friend, a 35 year old woman, would be his best man. Everyone thought this was odd because of his role at my wedding and none of us really know or have met his friend. I expressed how it hurt my feelings and was met with, my wedding isn't about you. Okay, fine, I'll do whatever you ask. During the planning, he called me every day.

We exchanged ideas. I helped with making stuff. I didn't mind. I decided early on not to focus on titles, but just to make this day as amazing as possible for my brother. He asked me to be a flower fairy because this was a gay child-free wedding. I agreed. When we were picking my shoes and my dress, him and his best man, the girl, would shoot down all of my ideas.

She would send very basic heels that were around $100. Heck no. I told her my budget was $45 for shoes, especially for plain gold heels. The wedding party all had very mean girl mentality. I felt it from day one. There was the wedding party, and then me. I chalked this up to not really knowing them well and proximity. They all live in a different state than me. They even went as far as saying that the shoes I like are too slutty. After this,

I begged to come as just a guest. That way, I could wear what I want and not feel this weird mean girl mentality from the rest of our wedding group. My brother says, no way, I can't get married without you being by my side. I arrive at the state where the wedding will be. On the first day that I'm there, I found out the best man had a bachelor party the night before I got there and everyone in the wedding party was included except me. I let it go and focused on the wedding and doing my part. So I slap on some wings, dance my way down the aisle, and give my first fairy wedding speech.

All goes well. The wedding was awesome, until the drag show. Yeah, they had a drag show at their wedding. During the show, one of the queens comes on and basically announces that this was all fake because my brother and his partner had gotten married one year prior. I turned to the rest of the wedding party and asked them if they knew and they did. They all said they were at the real wedding. Everyone but me. I'm sitting there trying to process this and my mom, who gave them

$3,000 for the wedding by the way, storms up to me and asked me if I knew. I told her no, and she immediately switched to being supportive of me because of how bad this situation was. It's not about them already being married, they can do what they want. I myself spent over $4,000 on this wedding. I had to come out of state, I had to pay for a plane ticket,

I paid for a week at an Airbnb. And one night, most of the wedding party stayed at the house that I rented because they didn't have anywhere else to stay and they didn't even Offer to pay me for part of it I also paid for the dress for the wedding the fairy wings that I handmade all of it I spent so much time and money on this wedding But then I started to put together the lies So they had their real wedding. Then, three days after that, my brother was at my house while I gave birth to my last child

because I always wanted him to be a part of my huge moments. He held my newborn, knowing that he had just gotten married and said nothing. They gaslit me, saying that I was crazy for feeling left out. My brother even said to me earlier that he can't get married without me. He lied to me every single day for a year, just all of it. After realizing all this, I tried to leave. His husband mockingly asked me if I was mad. I said that I would talk to them another day and they should enjoy their night.

Before I could leave, the happy couple pulls me into a room. My brother is crying saying that he didn't do this to hurt me. I kept it together, said, enjoy your night together and we'll talk another day. Then his husband says, oh, so there is something to talk about then? I repeat that we can talk another day. They ask me to brunch. I say I'll see if I'm up for it later. The next morning, I realize the whole wedding party and some guests ask me to brunch. I say I'll see if I'm up for it later. The next morning,

I realize the whole wedding party and some guests are going to lunch. I choose not to go because I'm going to put myself in a situation where I'm ganged up on. After that, I left the wedding group chat on Snapchat, which they were notified of. At this point, it's the next morning and my brother's husband starts blowing up my phone and my friend's phone who was with me at the time. We ignore the phone calls and go about our day. I haven't looked at or spoken to my brother since, aside from short responses to get me to the airport the day that I left.

When I left, I asked him to crop me out of the wedding photos because I didn't want to be associated with a fake wedding and I didn't want a reminder of how embarrassing it was and how stupid I looked. I told him I didn't want to be associated with a fake wedding. And I didn't want a reminder of how embarrassing it was and how stupid I looked. I told them I didn't want to speak to them again. My brother says nothing and his husband says, You're a narcissist and I feel bad for the people who have to deal with you. I'm pretty sure that being a narcissist moralized with tricking a hundred people into coming to a wedding, just to tell everyone, Ha ha, this is just a giant party for us. Jokes on you.

But alright, lol. I just don't know where to go from here. I have them both blocked. My brother has not tried to fix it. He had the chance to show me what I meant to him. He did, and now I have to believe him. Then down in the comments, OP answers a couple of common questions. First off, as far as OP knows, there's no bad blood between herself and her brother, or her brother's husband for that matter. Both families have been very supportive. There's no homophobia on either side.

OP doesn't think that her brother-in-law is abusive to her brother. Then two days later, OP types a really long update which doesn't add any new information except to say that she wrote her brother a letter expressing her feelings. Oh, interesting. Four days later, OP's brother-in-law makes a comment on the post. Brother-in-law here. I'll just start by saying, for one, having a big wedding ceremony one year later was not my idea.

But once we decided that we were going to do it, we consulted many times about telling people beforehand for fear of things like this happening. I've never had a great relationship with OP, but we've tried to make things work mostly for my husband, her brother's sake, because I knew they were very close. And while I wasn't too fond of her due to our interactions in the past, I know how important those close relationships are and I would never wish to tear that apart. OP didn't want to talk about it at all. We tried to apologize and explain that the intention was never for any humiliation or insult anyone at all. But she wouldn't have a conversation about it, especially the night of.

The next day at the Airbnb, I tried to open a dialogue with OP about how she was feeling, and she only responded with snark and comments about how she was feeling, and she only responded with snark and comments about how there's nothing to talk about. I eventually let it be and left the room. Everything that she said didn't help me or anyone else understand how she really felt about it. And the little she did say seemed very self-centered and about how this was a plan to humiliate her specifically, which it was most definitely not. Reading through this now, though, I do understand a bit more why she felt this way.

And for that, I'm truly sorry. Yo, is anyone buying what the brother-in-law is saying here? I'm not. He's accusing OP of not being willing to talk about it during the wedding, but of course OP shouldn't be talking about it during the wedding, because it would ruin the wedding by turning it into a big Fight and causing a lot of drama so OP very tactfully said let's talk about it later Which is a sensible thing to do right and this guy's trying to turn it back on her and saying oh well

We can't solve this unless you open up to me, dude. What are you talking about? And you don't understand how she's feeling nothing She said really helped me understand how she's feeling. And now that I've read the post, now I understand how... Yo, dude, you don't need to read a Reddit post to divine how this situation would make OP feel. This is just basic empathy 101. I'm not buying this.

This guy is trying to save face and failing miserably. Then OP posted another response that's super long and she just kind of venting her feelings guys I've got to abbreviate this post this post is if I read every single word in this post It would be like a two-hour episode so forgive all the skipping, but trust me. I'm doing you a favor anyways I can sum up this update with this sentence other people have responded your brother doesn't value you the same way that you value him, and that's it. That's the end of the argument. They both showed me exactly what I meant to them.

The motivation behind it isn't really important anymore. Then the brother-in-law replies again. The decision to keep it a secret was, in hindsight, a bad choice. I'll openly admit. As for the rest of it, it's tough because while it was definitely tense between us, I never wanted to make anything worse. So if I ever had to deal with Opie in any way, I would always defer to her brother

on how to do so. Me reading all this was the first time I'm ever hearing about her wanting to back out of the wedding, so when it comes to that, I have absolutely no idea. To be honest, I'm a diagnosed ADHD haver, so I'm not super great at planning. And anyone who knows both of us knows that her brother is the planner person, so I wasn't as involved in the wedding party and planning stuff. Oh my god, I can't keep reading this guy's BULLSHITS! He just goes on and on paragraph after paragraph about how it's not really his fault And it was just a simple mistake and always got ADHD so he can't really be blamed. Yeah, okay Hey, all my listeners out there with ADHD

How often have you forgotten that you were married and like literally didn't tell the most important people in your life for a year and Lied to them continuously. Yeah That's not a symptom of ADHD. That's a symptom of being a lying manipulator. Oh right, okay. People are blasting this guy for blaming his ADHD and he immediately jumps into defend himself again. I'm not placing blame on anyone.

I'm just saying what happened. The ADHD doesn't absolve anything, nor was it intended to. I'll 100% admit my part of the wrong, but I didn't mastermind anything like everyone is assuming I did. We made a dumb choice that led to hurt, and I apologize for that truly. But I won't let just 3,000 people accuse me of something I didn't do without at least trying to clarify from my point of view. There's a whole bunch of stuff between me and OP from years ago that was left completely out of all of her posts, and she knows that. Man, then this

guy writes, another long paragraph defending himself, but it's more just, it's all just the same stuff. This guy's just a weasel. Then apparently this story got so viral that another person who was at the wedding responded as well. They say, well, I was at the wedding, though I wasn't a member of the wedding party. I agree that a lot of what happened with OP on this is messed up, but I'm calling BS on some of the things that was said by her brother's husband. That man might just be the most stand-up guy that I know. He quickly became a best friend of mine when he became my boss over a year ago. I've seen him go above and beyond to help out people who he's not even fond of.

The only scenario in which I see him doing these types of things is if OP said things that she's emitting from the post. The second thing I'm calling BS on is the entire wedding party wasn't at lunch the next day. I was there and two members of the six were present. Again, what happened with OP was messed up. Even from the point of view that I heard it from, which was her brother's husband. And I'm sure I probably know only 10% of what actually went down with all of this, but there's two sides to every story. In this case, more like four.

Her not being at the actual wedding makes sense given that she had just moved to the east coast and the wedding was on the west coast. That, and she mentioned that she gave birth three days later. If it was my sister, she would have known at least. And she also would have been my best man at my wedding party, but that's me. Okay, so my personal theory is this section that I just read. I think that's also the brother-in-law. I think he made another account and he's also defending himself here as well. The reason why I say this is they both have kind of similar writing styles. They're very uh... these two posters are kind of loose with their punctuation and they're

very verbose in their writing so yeah I think it's the brother-in-law. Man this post is complicated. So from here OP actually posted videos on TikTok where she was showing off her wedding dress. Unfortunately the videos have been removed but a couple of redditors recorded the information. So let me see if I can figure out, okay, hold on. This is a transcript from a deleted TikTok that OP posted. Okay, this will probably be like my last post about this, hopefully. But one thing I realized when I got home was,

okay, I'm just gonna ask a question what would it take for you if you were sexually assaulted um as a child under the age of 10 what would it take for you to get into a room with the person who did it to you would you go there for your brother's wedding because I did yeah his dad biological dad they split up she had me and they got back together yeah this dude like smushed my shit in childhood and then I went around him for my brother and it was like he knew that I felt like I was sacrificing my dignity for that

like I don't get it but I also want to say that that was like not on the forefront of my mind like when all this went down like I'd realize it a few days later like the sacrifices I made for this. Like, I really feel like I sacrificed like my integrity and my morals to be around this dude. If the wedding was not going to be child-free, my kids would not be there because this other person was there. Um, but yeah, I didn't want to sit anywhere near him. Like, I don't want him thinking that they can come up and talk to me, which he didn't. But I'd said from a young age that I will never be around him. He will never be around myself or my children or any part of my life because he's a disgusting

Spanish smile. What is a Spanish smile? And yeah, and it's just like, I don't know, that's probably the most disgusting part about the whole thing. Aside from like everything else, but that's just an added layer of like you're effing Disgusting. Oh, I see I see. Um on TikTok you're not a lot of say those words kind of like on on YouTube So she said Spanish smile because it kind of sounds like the P word. Okay. I will admit. I'm confused I'm trying to piece this story together. How is this guy? How was OP a twin?

trying to piece the story together. How is this guy, how is OP a twin? Did the biological dad impregnate a woman with OP's brother? And then while she was pregnant, a separate man impregnated the same woman with a different egg. So two babies were going inside of her simultaneously from different fathers at different stages of development. Is that possible? That's the only thing I can think of that would make sense about how they're twins,

unless OP said twins metaphorically, and I'm just reading into it too much. I don't know, sorry. I'm getting really sidetracked by the biology of this. But inviting her with the P-word molester at the wedding is crazy! Yo, this post is bonkers. There's another update. Okay, this is a very long update. I'm going to summarize this. Let me read it. All right, this update is six months later. I wish I could be writing that my brother had begged for my forgiveness. That things somehow managed to go back to how they were, but they haven't. Nothing with my situation has changed. The only thing they truly changed was my perception of someone that I thought that I knew. I know a lot of people can't understand because you're not close with a sibling.

But this has been like a true death for me. And sometimes my grief is so, so big that I don't know what to do with it. He hasn't reached out to me, he hasn't explained, he hasn't even cared if I'm being fully honest. And what a mind fuck that's been. To go from someone being as important to you as your husband or your children, to them showing you over and over how little you do

and have ever meant to them. He's doubled down on the, I didn't do anything wrong and you're overreacting, which is honestly just the biggest slap in the face. If someone can't admit that they did something wrong, then they'll never actually be sorry and the chances of behavior repeating itself is sky high. Then OP writes a very long paragraph just about how she's sad and she's been crying a lot. Then OP continues, we've spoken briefly, over the phone during the holidays to deal with a family emergency involving another family member. It was pretty much

all business. Everyone around us kept saying, I'm so glad you guys are talking again, but we weren't talking again. We were just dealing with business. And I guess that's all the talking that we'll ever do again. At one point, my husband chimed into our phone conversation and told my brother how much he misses him too, and he cried. I guess I forgot that I wasn't the only one losing someone, but either way, that doesn't change anything. My kids haven't even noticed. He did try to send Christmas gifts to them through my mom, but only because I'd said something about him not acknowledging my son on his birthday. So is that all he'll ever be? Impersonal generic gifts that my kids get once a year?

I told my mom to send the gifts back and that my kids don't need a gift uncle. Honestly, my kids already have enough of those on my husband's side. With that, I also came to the realization that if you don't have a good respect for a relationship with me, you absolutely don't get access to my children. And to be fully honest, he never really took that much interest in my kids anyways. I'm not healed, but I'm on my way. It's not better, but it's getting better. I feel that I'm suffering the consequences of someone else's actions. I was spiraling, but I'm finding my new normal.

Man, this post was just an absolute roller coaster. It was, it kind of hit me hard at the beginning because I also have a brother that I'm super, super close with. He was the best man at my wedding. I talked to him pretty much every single day. I actually think that OP is a little bit closer to her brother at the beginning of this story than I am to my brother. Like we don't have matching tattoos or anything and I didn't name my baby after him. But we're really close and the idea of just going from being that close over 30 some years to just buy, see ya, never gonna talk to you again. It's just like how can someone even do that? How can you just flip that switch without a without a fight? Like I don't get it.

What caused this? How can you just flip that switch without a fight? Like, I don't get it. What caused this? How did the brother go from being so warm and caring to OP and talking to her every single day to just completely cold turkey? I'm never going to talk to you again. Why lie about the wedding? Why invite the guy who molested your best friend slash twin sister, who might not really be a twin, to your wedding?

Why would you ever want to see that guy's face again? I could not for the life of me figure out what's going through the brother or the brother-in-law's mind. I can't figure out what's worst. Getting married in secret, lying about it for a year or inviting your child, child M word to the fake wedding party that your twin sister is going to probably the last one now that I say it out loud I think that was probably worse, but they're all so bad That was our slash best of redditor updates And if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day