rSlash - r/Bestof I Accidentally Married My Brother

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Siblings 3:03 Dietary choices 9:57 Comment 10:14 Wedding Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Red 1. We're coming at you. Is the movie event of the holiday season. Santa Claus has been kidnapped? You're gonna help us find him. You can't trust this guy. He's on the list. He's a naughty lister.

Naughty lister? Dwayne Johnson. We got snowmen! Chris Evans. I might just go back to the car. Let's save Christmas. I'm not gonna say that. Say it.

All right. Let's save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters Friday. Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates where OP realizes that she accidentally married her brother. Our next reddit post comes from r slash donor conceived. I've known my whole life that I'm donor conceived. I grew up in New South Wales and my parents were always open about it, so it was never

some big secret. I didn't think much about it beyond that though. Until a couple of years ago when my husband and I decided to take an Ancestry DNA test. We thought it'd be fun. Maybe I'd find some half-siblings and he'd learn a bit more about his side of the family. Well, we got the results, and I matched with him, my husband, as a half-sibling. At first, I thought that it had to be some kind of mistake, or maybe I misunderstood something.

But no, after looking into it, we realized his dad was also a donor, and no one ever told him. Now, here we are, married for years with two kids and we're still trying to figure out how to process the fact that we're siblings. I don't even know how to explain how I feel. It's just overwhelming. I love my husband, of course, but this changes so much. We've already spoken to a genetic counselor and we're trying to move forward. But it's like everything that we thought we knew about our family has been flipped upside down.

I just feel kinda lost. Has anyone else here gone through something like this? Then a few weeks later, OP posted an update. First, I've been to individual therapy and working through everything. It's been incredibly helpful to have a space to just unravel my thoughts. My husband has also told me that he's open to couples therapy, which is a big step for us so I'm hopeful that it will help us navigate this together. To confirm some things, yes, my father-in-law is the donor, which makes him not only my

husband's father, but also mine. It was a lot to take in. We're both really angry that my husband's dad never told him the truth and at the moment, neither of us are talking to him. It's just too much. We've also discovered about 40 other siblings so far, all of whom live nearby. That was another layer of this experience that we weren't prepared for. We haven't met them all yet, but knowing they're out there brings its own set of

challenges and questions. As for our marriage, no, we're not divorcing. We love each other and we're committed to working through this, but we haven't told our kids yet. We plan to get professional advice before we do. This isn't something that we want to rush into without understanding the best way to approach it for their sake. Thanks again for listening, for the advice and for your understanding. We're taking this one day at a time." Man, this is like a dating minefield, especially for OP's kids because if there's 40 siblings out there, that probably means there's, I don't know, 80 cousins that they could stumble into dating. So I think the lesson we can take from this is that if you're going to donate sperm,

donate it in a different city than where you're planning to live. Our next reddit post comes from r slash amithabudhole. Amithabudhole for telling my sister's boyfriend to get out after he refused to eat the meal that I cooked? I'm a 28 year old woman and I invited my 25 year old sister and her boyfriend who's 26 over for dinner. I love cooking and I'd spent hours preparing this fancy meal.

Homemade pasta, a slow cooked ragu, a salad and a tiramisu for dessert. I was really proud of it and excited to have them over. When they arrived, everything was fine at first. We sat down and I started serving the food. Her boyfriend, Steve, stared at the pasta for a moment, then looked at me and said, I don't eat carbs. At first I thought that he was joking, but nope, he was dead serious. He goes on about how he's super into keto and carbs are the enemy.

Okay, fine, that's his choice. But when I offered to make him a salad or something else on the spot, he refused and said that I should have known about his diet beforehand. He then pulls out a small Tupperware container from his bag filled with what looked like boiled chicken and broccoli and starts to eat it at my dinner table while the rest of us are trying to enjoy the meal that I spent hours making. I was stunned and honestly kind of insulted. I told him it was rude to bring his own food without mentioning it to me beforehand and

he should have at least given me a heads up. He then goes off about how people need to respect his dietary choices and that I was being controlling by not accommodating his needs. At this point I'd had enough. I told him, If you can't eat what's served and won't even let me make something else, then maybe you should just get out. He stood up and said something like,

I'm just trying to be healthy. Grabbed his Tupperware and walked out. My sister stayed for a bit, but eventually she left too, saying that I overreacted. Now my sister is mad at me, saying I embarrassed her boyfriend and made them both feel unwelcome. My mom thinks I should apologize, but my friends are on my side, saying Steve was being incredibly rude. The comments are generally not the butthole, but then six days later OP posted an update. Well y'all, buckle up because things have escalated in a way that I never expected.

After my initial post, I figured things would calm down once my sister had time to cool off. Spoiler alert, they did not. So the day after I told Steve to leave, my sister texts me saying they want to talk things through at a family dinner. I assumed it would just be the three of us, maybe at a neutral restaurant where we could hash it out like adults. Nope. three of us, maybe at a neutral restaurant where we could hash it out like adults. Nope!

Instead, my sister invites my parents, my brother, and Steve's parents to this dinner at my parents house, turning it into some kind of weird intervention. I show up thinking it'll just be a casual conversation, but the moment that I walk in, Steve's mom, Carol, is already going off about how Steve has always had special dietary needs and people who care about him should respect his boundaries. This woman acts like this guy has a life-threatening allergy, not a trendy diet. My mom is sitting there looking super uncomfortable while my dad just quietly is sipping his beer, clearly wishing he were anywhere else.

So Carol starts listing off Steve's dietary restrictions, and she's acting like I personally offended the whole keto community by serving pasta. Then brace yourselves, Carol pulls out a folder. Yes, a literal folder with printouts. She hands one to… She hands one to me, one to my mom, and one to my dad. I'm flipping through this thing and it's full of Steve's dietary guidelines, suggested meal plans, and even a list of keto-friendly restaurants that we could go to in the future.

At this point, I'm doing everything I can not to laugh. But it gets worse. Steve pipes up... Ha ha ha. I'm sorry everything I can not to laugh. But it gets worse. Steve pipes up and says that he's willing to forgive me for disrespecting my lifestyle if I agree to host a redo dinner where I follow his dietary restrictions to the letter. He says this will prove that I'm serious about making amends and respecting his needs going forward. I thought that he was joking, but no, he was dead serious. He even pulled out his phone to show me some keto recipe apps that I might find helpful.

I was in total shock. My sister, by the way, said absolutely nothing during all of this, just staring at her plate like she wanted to disappear. My mom, bless her heart, tries to smooth things over by suggesting we all just eat whatever we want when we're together, but Carol snaps. It's not that simple. She says that in her family, we all follow keto together and that's why Steve is so passionate about it. At this point, I've had enough. I stood up and said, look, I'm not redoing the dinner. I'm not making anyone a special keto feast. If Steve can't eat what I cook, that's fine.

But bringing his own meal to my dinner without even telling me was disrespectful. And I'm not apologizing for feeling that way. And then, this is where it gets absolutely bonkers, Steve's dad stands up, points at me and says, this is exactly why Steve doesn't trust women to understand him. They always make it about themselves. The whole room went silent. My dad finally spoke up, saying, I think it's time for you all to leave, and started walking towards the door, basically

escorting Steve's parents out. Steve and my sister stayed behind, but Steve was furious! He started yelling about how families should support each other, and then accused me of trying to sabotage their relationship because I'm jealous of what they have. At this point, I just walked out and left the whole mess behind. Here's the kicker, though. A couple of days later, my sister called me and told me that she and Steve were taking a break because she needed time to think. Yeah, I bet. Apparently, this whole keto fiasco was the last straw in a long list of controlling behavior from Steve.

She didn't realize just how bad it was until the whole family saw it play out at dinner. She even told me that Steve had been trying to get her to follow his diet for months, but she was hiding snacks in her car just to get a break from all the keto madness. So now, Steve's gone full radio silent. My sister is staying with me for the time being and I'm still getting passive aggressive texts from Carol about how hurt Steve is and how he's just misunderstood. Honestly, I'm just glad that my sister is finally seeing how controlling this guy was. I knew there'd be a comment like this from Rabid Turbo Fox. He says, chicken and broccoli were just the keto his heart. Alright, I found part one of this story to be pretty tame. I was thinking about

not including it because it was, you know, kind of dull. But then part two hit and that was a roller coaster. Our next reddit post comes from r slash marriage. I want to call off my wedding because my fiance is a control freak. I'm 32 and she's 34. She's Catholic so she has three kids from a previous marriage. We were dating for about 8 months, then decided to get engaged because things were going well. I felt like she was my person and she felt the same. I did great with her kids and we were both only getting older.

We're supposed to get married in December, but I don't want to anymore. I moved in with her about a month ago to save money to try to pay off as much debt before the wedding so we could buy a house soon after. This is when everything changed, I feel for the worse. She instantly wanted a joint bank account. I didn't want to because I felt like it would turn into a control situation and it has. When I told her that, she said, well, maybe we shouldn't get married. She controls every bit of our money and everything else down to what I eat. I have to ask to spend $4 on medicine when I'm fighting a sinus infection.

We aren't hurting for money. I make $75k after taxes. Also, I had ulcerative colitis when I was 20 and I had to have my colon removed when I was 25. So I literally have to eat more than I used to because I don't absorb everything like a normal person. She gets mad at how much I eat. I have to sneak food at work.

I've tried to explain this to her, and so has her mom, but she still doesn't get it. She tells me I have to work at least 70 hours a week, and I also have to work whenever I can on Saturday whenever the kids aren't over. I don't spend money on anything. I have to spend my personal money so I can buy enough food to survive. I had to fight her just to get enough food that I need for work. Proper nutrition and rest are super important due to my health. And if I don't

sleep in, I get fussed over. If I mistakenly take some food that was for the kids, I get in trouble. Even if it just costs a buck. Or even if I don't eat leftovers, I get blamed for wasting food even though she didn't tell me to take it and has yelled at me for taking too much. So damned if I do, damned if I don't, right? She shows little to no affection. I work 12 hours on my short days, around 15 on my long days. I only have one or two short days a week.

I'd like to feel wanted and desired when I come home, but I feel nothing. I don't ever get a hug, kiss, or any kind of excitement when I get home after a long day. Some of the long days mean that I don't see her for two to three days at a time. There's no sort of excitement from her, just more, what can you do around the house? Hell, I've even gotten in trouble for sitting down for 10 minutes when I got home one day because I need to use my time better. I take care of everything around the house such as yard work, home repairs, doing everything

else when no one feels like it. Heaven forbid me if I forget to do one thing after a long day. Getting help from the kids is a chore. I'm feeling used, like I'm just here to give her money, do as much work as I can, and if I bring something up, it gets turned back on me. Am I crazy for not wanting to go through with this? We've already had a talk about how I can't live like this, and it was good for a couple of days, then back to the regularly scheduled program. So I don't feel like anything will ever change, ever. After we talked, she straightened up for a bit, but over the next few days, she made jokes about what I brought up, so I feel like it meant nothing to her at all.

Then one week later, OP posted an update. We had an additional talk and some of y'all stated that she'll say what I want to hear and then it goes back to the same old story and you guys were 100% right. I've been playing the game of seeing her responses on things. For example, I explained that I was still hungry after dinner and she said, word for word, I think you should just focus on not being hungry, then you won't want to eat. So I just grabbed my water and went about my business. Like, are you kidding me? Right after we had a discussion about my body and my condition. Anyways, I've got a plan together.

The car we have is in both our names, but I'm only on the loan as a co-signer, so I'm getting a rental and I'm loading everything I can in there and hitting out of town while she's at work. I'm going to my parents in the next state over. She won't be able to find me, which is good. I'm also getting a new phone and number before I head out of town. I've got my direct deposit change, new bank account, and while I'm at work, I'm calling to get her off my credit card and everything.

I'm waiting for the payment to post to the card from our joint account so I'm not stuck with the balance that's on there. I'm also pulling what money is rightfully mine out of the account before I leave and then taking my name off it. There's a significant amount in there. I'm cutting my losses on what I've already paid towards the wedding and everything else. I don't want that money to taint my new money. I'm expecting her to freak the hell out and blow my phone up, but I don't care. Just getting my plan together has been so liberating. On my way to my parents, I'm meeting a really good friend of mine who's been through this whole process for lunch.

Then, eight days later, OP posted an update. I'm out and free and I feel great! I left early in the morning with as much stuff as I could. Before I got to the rental car place, I got all my money out as well. After I got the rental, I went back to the house to get more stuff. She had, I guess, gotten the hint and locked me out of the house. But I got all my important and expensive stuff, so that's good. I went back to the bank and got a printout of all recent transactions from the joint account and I was immediately pissed off. I had to ask her for medicine, but there were so many Amazon charges. Charges for going out to eat, transfers of money to different accounts and everything.

But I had to ask her to spend 4 bucks on medicine for a sinus infection. It looks like she was transferring money out of my account so I couldn't track it all. While driving down to my parents, I was able to get all my passwords to every account reset and I removed her as an authorized user on everything. Also, on the way down, my ex didn't try to contact me at all. She did try to contact my parents, but they didn't answer, thankfully. Man, you ever break up with an ex who's so toxic that you have to completely scrub your identity and start over? It's like in Breaking Bad, I need a dust filter for a Hoover Maxx Extract Pressure Pro Model 60. Can you help me with

that? That was r slash best of Redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow Can you help me with that?