rSlash - r/Bestof I Caught My Husband Hurting Babies

Episode Date: June 2, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:09 Crazy dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. For context on this next post, OP doesn't clarify exactly the age and how many kids she has, but I think that she has 6 month old triplets. I'm a 35 year old woman and my husband is 42. We tried for so long to have babies and now we have triplets. But due to a health issue my husband suffered, he developed fertility issues and we had to get medical assistance to be able to have our kids. Because if we didn't, he would probably never have kids. So we went through fertility treatment. He desperately wanted his own biological children and we spent a fortune just to bring them

into the world and now he's jealous and distant with them. He is constantly in competition with his own infant children. If I hold the children, he gets frustrated. Anytime they take my attention away, he gets completely pissy. He's always in a foul mood, irritable, and just downright nasty. I don't understand it. Why is he like this? Our children are barely 6 months old and they won't stop crying every time that he's near. I feel like they can sense his negativity. I tried talking to him. I've suggested he take interest in the kids and spend more time with us as a family. I know that it can sometimes take a little longer

for parents to bond with their kids, but this is a downright scary experience. He's full of jealousy and envy. He sees our kids as competition to my time and affections. A few times now, he's made comments about feeling frustrated that I still breastfeed our children. The thing is, we do mixed feeding, so he's had ample opportunity to feed them and he just doesn't. He also said that our life now isn't what he thought it would be like, but what did he expect? A singular baby cries and the three of them cry a lot.

He comes home later every day. He avoids us on the weekend and any time that he has off. I'm not ashamed to say that I went through his phone and there are a lot of flirtatious texts between him and this woman named Jessica. I don't think that anything has happened between them but it sure looks like they're building up to it. I haven't said anything because I'm afraid. Where do I go with three kids with no money and no family that can help me. I haven't worked in two years and I've spent all of my savings on having these kids. My mind is in a complete meltdown. I can't sleep, I can't think and I'm always exhausted.

In the comments, OP clarifies that it was the husband who was pushing to have kids, not OP. She also clarifies that her husband doesn't help out around the house or with the kids at all. And finally, her kids are biologically her and her husband's. Then three days later, OP posted an update. Thank you to the person who said that I should watch his interactions with my babies more closely and frequently.

Not even hours after I posted here asking for advice, I caught him pinching my son. While I was scrolling on here and replying to people, I decided to check my baby monitor and I watched my husband enter our children's room and insult them in a hushed and whispery tone. I couldn't make out much of what he was saying, but he was without a doubt telling them that he hated them and he wished they were dead. Then he pinched my son and my baby boy didn't even cry, which made me think that he's done this many times before. It all happened so fast and by the time that I could make sense of

what was happening on the monitor, he was already walking down the hallway and down the stairs. At the same time, I'd leapt off the sofa and pretty much tackled him as he came off the stairs. We got into a physical and verbal altercation, we fought, argued and shouted for hours. I guess the police were called by the neighbors because the next thing I know, the police are banging on my door. I explained the situation to the cops and the officer said that they couldn't prove that my baby was harmed since he didn't have a bruise and my baby monitor didn't record the action. Eventually, they got my husband to agree to pack his bag and leave.

He left reluctantly. He's since been blowing up my phone, begging for forgiveness, talking about how he's been depressed and stressed by the babies, and that his anxiety and jealousy got the best of him. I just responded once telling him to go f himself. I've been in contact with the lawyer, and she advised me to leave him unblocked in case he further incriminates himself. I don't even recognize who this man is. Where did all this come from? Then, three weeks later, OP posted another update. Last week was my 36th birthday.

Actually, I'd forgotten that it was my birthday and I was reminded by my sister. I decided that I couldn't mope around the house and I got my kids dressed up to go shopping and get groceries. We got back and I put away half the groceries, but my babies were fussy and so to tire them out and ready them for bed, we went for a walk. When I got back home, my husband was in the kitchen cooking and putting away some of the groceries I'd left out. He greeted me and acted normal. I didn't react because his entire demeanor was freaking me out, so I played along. I went upstairs and got the kids down. I did think of walking out the door, but it did seem he was kind of anticipating that,

so he was following me around and I thought in the moment the best thing that I could do was just get the kids upstairs and away from him. He said that he wanted to talk and clear the air because this has gone on too long. We had a long conversation and it started out reasonable but eventually spiraled out of control. We got into a physical confrontation because I refused to let him stay. He tried to physically intimidate me and well, he hurt me. While he was hurting me, I was still able to contact the police. It took them an excruciatingly long 25 minutes to get there. So here I am, sitting with two completely black and blue eyes, a busted lip, a swollen

face, massive knots on my head and bruises all over. I don't know what happened to my life or how I got here, but here I am. I can't even look my neighbors in the eyes. I can't go outside without seeing the shocked faces of people. I never felt so ashamed, so humiliated, so hurt and so utterly stupid. I thought that I made all the right choices in life. What did I do wrong? When did it all get so messed up? I mean, I think I did everything right. Like, I created a stable life for myself, then picked a man that at the time was a very loving partner. I married that man and waited 5 years before even going through the process of having kids

with him and now once I've had his kids, he's just beating on me and our babies. My sister is aware of what's happening and she's supporting me as best as she can. I have plans to move out, but since I'm not working right now, I need some time to save up. His family is also aware. His family refused to believe that I saw him hurt our child, but they can't deny this attack now that they've seen my bruises. Also, yes, he was arrested and he was bailed out by his brother. He's currently staying with his brother. Then 15 days later, OP posted another update. I say all of this without exaggeration. I am certain he was getting ready to kill us.

After nearly 8 months of turmoil, I'm finally close to understanding. My soon to be ex-husband is in love with a woman that he came across on social media and he's been obsessing over her for at least a year. She also happens to be a sex worker and he was paying her for her time and attention. In his mind, he believed that they could have a future together if only he could get rid of my kids and me. Even though this woman gave him no inkling that she ever wanted to be with him, he has spent so much of our money on this woman.

I'm at a loss for words. I can barely believe half the things that he's been up to. I spent the past few weeks playing detective and I finally decided to contact Jessica. At first she was very reluctant to speak to me, but I literally begged her to and she was kind enough to get on the phone with me. She told me that she had been seeing him for a while, but she stopped seeing him because he started to scare her. He was sending her unhinged messages and voicemails. He's been stalking her and trying to convince her to be with him. Jessica eventually stopped seeing him and had him blocked. I guess this is when he started to escalate from emotional abuse to physical abuse of

me and my kids. He was looking for a way out and in his crazy mind, killing us would free him because the only reason Jessica wouldn't be with him was because me and my children were in the way. During our long call, I also explained to Jessica what had been happening to me and she was genuinely kind and helpful. She also agreed to speak to my lawyer and to send them the thousands of unhinged texts, voicemails and voice notes that

he sent her. For a little while after our conversation, a part of me genuinely hated Jessica and wanted to blame her for everything, but the rational part of me pushed out those unreasonable and dangerous thoughts especially after I read his disturbing text and heard his voicemails and notes to Jessica. She has also been victimized by him. Honestly, there's nothing like listening to your husband and father of your children talk about how you and your children mean nothing to him and how he wishes you were dead. He could have just asked me for a divorce and got up and left. I sent him a few texts asking why. Why do all of this? Why torment my babies? Why not just walk away? He responded with a message saying that any conversation between us should go through our lawyers.

His parents had him lawyer up. They know what he's been up to and they've chosen to protect him. His father came to see me and in a not so direct way suggested that he could pay me if I stopped talking about what his son has done and was planning on doing. Ever since he broke into the house and pretty much tried to kill me, I've told anyone who will listen about what he's done. At this point, even his colleagues know. Also, I have emergency custody of my kids in a protective order. I'm also seriously considering getting a gun. More than seriously actually, I've applied for a permit. Down in the comments, people are asking OP about his parents and OP says this.

Oh, they really are bastards and they refuse to believe that their precious son could ever do the things that he's done, despite the fact that I installed security cameras after I caught him abusing my babies. And despite the fact that my neighbors have signed witness statements attesting to the fact that they saw him break into my house and attack me. They've seen the police report. They've seen the pictures of my battered face and bruised body. They're feigning ignorance. But they know and I know they know. Then two weeks later, OP posted an update. Last week at 2 in the morning, my husband of nearly 8 years was arrested outside of Jessica's house. When he was arrested, they found inside of his truck small baggies with drug residue

and they also found tools of abduction. That's all I heard, I don't know what those tools are exactly. My soon to be ex-father-in-law called me around 4.50am to tell me that his son was arrested. My father-in-law was the one who used the term tools of abduction. When I asked him what the hell does that mean, he said that he didn't have time for my interrogation tactics. Yo, this family.

He then asked if I could help him find a lawyer for him to stand by his son throughout all of this? Okay, ahem. When I said to him, how the hell am I supposed to find a lawyer this early in the morning, he lost his cool and then was just screaming at me. My soon to be ex-mother-in-law took over the phone, telling me that I'm a god dang B-word and that all this is my fault. I hung up before she could say anything more.

I never knew this man took drugs. Sure, he drank occasionally, but hard drugs? I honestly don't know what's happening anymore or how I got here. I mean, it does make sense that he was on cocaine the past 8 months now that I look back at things. I mean, I don't even know anything about cocaine to be able to recognize the behavior pattern, but once I researched it, it seemed clear. The moodiness, the disappearances, the lies, the anger, the sudden outburst in the violence, it all points to drug usage, as well as him being an abusive piece of garbage. His parents and the rest of his family have called and texted me so much abusive garbage. They occasionally switch to begging me to go see him or to pick up his calls.

But I've mainly just ignored them. I don't have the time, the energy, or the love that's needed to be there for this man and his parents. I've given him 8 years of my love and affection, and he spat it back into my face during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life. I've packed everything up and I'm leaving. I'm disappearing with my kids, and anything else between me and these people can be handled through my lawyer.

The only people who know where I'm moving is my lawyer and my sister. I mean, what else can I do to protect my kids? His entire family blames me. And how do I keep my head high when I'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person by pretty much everyone that I once called a family? Man, unfortunately, this is a relatively common MO among abusive men where they fall in love with another woman and decide instead of choosing divorce like a healthy mentally stable person they choose mass murder murdering their entire family like why why would you expose yourself to that much risk just so you can go be with your new girlfriends because obviously if a mom and all of her kids suddenly die out of nowhere who's suspect number one? The husband, obviously.

So like, how do these people think they can get away with it? It's... I don't know, man. These people are so frustrating. Man, I hope he spends the rest of his life in jail because this scum doesn't deserve to see the light of day. That was r slash best of redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.