rSlash - r/Bestof "I Did You a Favor by Cheating On You"

Episode Date: April 13, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Surprise threesome 4:43 The website 12:56 Happy story Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Our next reddit post is from r slash relationships. I'm a 27 year old woman and my boyfriend is 28. He slept with another woman and claims that I wanted him to. I live with my boyfriend, Jack. We've been together for two years. The relationship's been good. Passionate hugging is frequent, we say I love you often, and we both participate in each other's family functions.

I don't have any major complaints and to my knowledge, he hasn't been unhappy. I am deeply in love with him. I came home today about an hour early. I had started to get a migraine at work, which isn't super unusual and once I started to get nauseated, I decided I should go home and lie down. This happens maybe like a few times a year. My boyfriend works nights, so he's often home during the day. I pulled in the driveway and his car was there. Not unusual, he doesn't work until the evening. I said hello when I and his car was there. Not unusual, he doesn't work until the evening. I said hello when I came in, but I could immediately hear that the air conditioning was on

in the bedroom. It's a separate window unit and pretty loud. I opened the door to say hello to Jack and there he is, right in the middle of passionately hugging with a girl, doggy style. He was just sort of expressionless. She immediately sort of scrambled for the sheets, but he just sat there. I guess I was in shock because I walked into the room and got my suitcase from under the bed. I even said excuse me to the girl who had been banging my boyfriend. I went to my closet, threw a bunch of clothes in the case, and all the while he was constantly talking. I can't remember everything he said, but I distinctly heard him say, I want- what?

I wanted to surprise you. We wanted to spice things up in the bedroom? What? I didn't say anything and left and came to this hotel. We discussed having a threesome in the past and even said that I would possibly be open to it at some point in the future. I told him I found the idea exciting but that we would need to discuss things and find the right person if that was actually going to happen.

I never wanted him to just surprise me out of the blue. He's been blowing up my phone ever since. He left several voicemails and sent about a dozen texts. He said that things didn't go like he imagined but he thought that it would be sexy to have a spontaneous threesome. He said that he was trying to fulfill MY fantasy. I have been crying for the last three hours. I have no idea what to think at this point. I think he's lying to me, but what if he really thought that he was doing what I wanted? Is it possible he's just that clueless? Then two days later, OP posted an update. I returned to the apartment this afternoon. Jack was there. He immediately tried arguing with me, saying once again that the whole

thing had been intended as a gift for me. I just ignored him as I went around the place packing his things. For clarity, my family owns the apartment. He doesn't own it at all. He also said that the only reason he started without me was he wanted to get used to the two of them together so things wouldn't be awkward when I arrived. Apparently, he thought that him and her passionately hugging together would make the threesome go smoother. I didn't even look at him. I just kept packing. I'm proud of myself that I didn't cry. I think I was past the point of crying He kept blabbering on saying that he just wanted to test the waters with the other person so that when the time came they

Could both totally focus on me The final straw was when he said that I was being totally unreasonable and ungrateful for the effort He was putting into our sexual relationship. I stared at him for a moment and then I just started laughing. I couldn't control it. I must have laughed hysterically for a full minute. He got angry but finally shut up and stopped trying to justify himself. I asked for his key and then told him to leave. I said that he could call to arrange a time to come pick up all of his things, but not

to contact me for any other reason. He left, looking pretty forlorn. I didn't ask how long he'd been cheating on me. Just knowing about the one incident was enough. He's obviously not the person that I thought he was. I don't feel like I even know him anymore. I'm still sad, but I'm gonna be okay. There's no way I could keep someone like that in my life. Yo, in this job I've heard a ton of excuses from cheaters about why they cheated. I have never before heard I was doing you a favor. Babe, this is all for you.

I cheated on you because I wanted to warm her up for you for a theoretical threesome in the future. That's an odd one. He's, he wanted to fluff her. That's what the problem was. I was just getting her ready for you and you're mad at me after I was fluffing this random woman as the threesome partner? What is wrong with you babe?

Our next reddit post comes from r slash legal advice. About four years ago, a large rendering plant purchased a factory in our small town in Iowa that's been causing all kinds of terrible odors ever since. We're talking rotten blood, dead animal, old beer fumes hanging in the air multiple days of the week for years. The smells are particularly nasty on warm and humid summer days. After living directly across the street from this plant, I decided to use my skills as a developer to create a website criticizing the government of our town and the city council

specifically for taking no action and letting the the government of our town and the city council specifically for taking no action and letting the factory pollute our town. At the bottom of the website, in the footer, I left a blurb that says, this town name is being polluted as of the current date. After a couple years of the site being up with little attention, I got a sudden spike in traffic, around 2000 visitors over a few days, and I finally started hearing from the city that they'll be taking action. First, the city council held a town hall meeting and asked for everyone's complaints regarding the rendering plant and the smells.

They also printed the name and phone number of the city attorney and asked callers to forward their complaints there. After that, the town began issuing fines to the plant, which the plant disregarded and, as far as I'm aware, never pay. Eventually, the city sues the rendering plant, and the rendering plant countersues. I've updated my website after each development takes place. The last piece of news to come out of this whole situation was that each side decided to drop their lawsuit around July 2017, but they didn't come to an agreement about the odor.

I didn't update the website to mention that the lawsuit had been dropped. It slipped my mind after reading it. The domain name is basically istownnameagoodplacetolive.com. And the first thing you see on the site is a big yellow block with huge text saying, not yet. It used to say no before the city started issuing fines to the rendering plant. While the city dropped their lawsuit, and I still consider the issue unresolved, the smelly days only spring up once or twice a month now.

This afternoon, I received a letter from a law firm representing the city. It contains screenshots of my website and screenshots of the GitHub repository proving that I am the owner. The letter says, Our firm represents the city of town name. You're the author and owner of this website. We've attached proof. We were understandably frustrated by the issues with this rendering plan which have been alleviated

through litigation. However, you have not modified your website despite the progress made. In fact, you re-registered the domain name in 2017 rather than taking it down. I had the domain set to auto-renew. To make matters worse, the website contains a recital that the town is still being polluted as of the date that someone views the website.

This leaves the impression that the information on the website is current. I am reliably informed that the local clinic lost a physician prospect who read your site. At present, the website libels the city of town name, interferes with recruitment of business and new residents, and negatively affects property values. That interference is likely your intention since you took the time to re-register the domain name. I am writing to ask you to take down your site

and not replace it with any other derogatory material. If the website is not taking down within 10 days, your next notice will be in the form of a lawsuit. I am inclined to disregard this letter, as my admittedly naive understanding of the law says that the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was created so citizens can criticize the government without fear of retribution. However, I realize there's a

difference between federal, state and municipal governments. And I'll be the first to admit that there's a little bit of pride and defiance clouding my judgment too. I've scheduled a consultation with a lawyer, but is it a good idea to leave this website up and risk a lawsuit? Then a few months later OP posted an update. So I reached out to a lawyer. I set up a meeting with one of the two law firms here in town. The other law firm is the one that sent the letter. And he agreed with what everyone else had been telling me, that I was protected by the First Amendment. However, he declined to represent me because he's mostly a real estate attorney and he recommended that I speak with someone outside the city's

little sphere of influence. I also updated the website saying that the city council squanders taxpayer money on spurious advice and pointless legal services. Once I updated the website and the city realized I was not going to take it down, a different attorney from the city's law firm contacted me and wanted to chat over coffee. I went, although now I realize that I probably shouldn't have done so. He was very friendly, telling me he thinks the whole situation had been badly handled, but he made it clear that he thought that I should take down the website because it was hurting the town and we both want what's best for it. He also told me there was a reporter from a newspaper calling around trying to get in

touch with me, and he didn't think that I should talk to them, again because it would damage the town. I declined the interview because I was afraid I'd get sued again, justifiably or not, if I said something the city didn't like. Of course, I was too naive to realize that the city themselves would have no problem talking to this reporter. So she ran her story, and I was made out to be the bad guy troublemaker by the city officials that she interviewed. What's more, a city councilman, the mayor and the city administrator all denied sending a letter to me. They were also quoted as saying there may be legal stuff coming down the road. A few weeks later I received another letter from the law firm and this one was weird. It was the attorney from the original letter writing on his own time to explain all the

reasons he thinks that he can sue me, citing several Iowa judicial cases and going on about disparaging property. He told me I was making a stupid argument and attributing unfounded legal arguments to him. The letter ended by saying that it wasn't a threat of litigation and not intended to deter me from exercising my legal rights. Yeah right. Everything was quiet for two weeks until I got an email from the legal director of the ACLU of Iowa. Okay, for anyone who doesn't know, the ACLU is basically a free group of lawyers and the whole thing they do is they just take on cases

where citizens get screwed over by people. They are very big, very powerful and they win a lot of their cases. I spoke with the director of the Iowa ACLU and long story short, she thought that what the city was doing to me was an egregious violation of my civil rights and the ACLU of Iowa went into represent me in a lawsuit against the city. So we filed in federal court and by March we settled the case after the city agreed to these five terms. One, they had to agree to a permanent injunction where they can't threaten to sue me or actually sue me for any website or content that I produce regarding the town. They must pay me legal damages.

They must pay attorney fees to the ACLU. They must write an apology letter to me. My favorite part is that the city's staff and its attorneys must take First Amendment training. All in all, I'm incredibly impressed by the ACLU's work in this case. I know it's not typical to file a lawsuit and win one month later, but I think it shows how blatant their attempts were to censor me. Then, years later, OP updates the website from saying, no, this place is not a good place to live to saying, yes, actually it is a good place to live.

And the website itself contains the update. It's a bit long, so I'll just summarize the important bit. The rendering plant, its emissions, and our local government's dealings with them were the reasons that I built this website to begin with. I'm happy to report that the blood plant has shut down and a new business has moved in. Before, you could walk into miasma of noxious vapors four to five days every week. But that's happily no longer a problem in Sibley, Iowa, and residents can breathe easy. Yeah, something tells me that when the lawyer sent OP a letter saying, I definitely could sue you if I wanted to, but I'm not going to. I could, though.

And this letter is not in any way to dissuade you from suing me if you want to sue me. Just please don't sue us. At that point I'm like, yeah, okay, these people have no case whatsoever. Our next Reddit post is from r slash marriage. My husband doesn't know that I know what he's up to. I'm a 33 year old woman and my husband is 34. We had our first baby back in June of last year. My husband's aunt gifted our son a lovely chunky knitted blanket. The blanket is so soft, I've made multiple comments that I would like to find a full

sized blanket just like it because it's so cozy and I'm kind of jealous of my baby. Well this past weekend, my husband snuck off to the store. He refused to tell me where he was going and why, but I later found a plastic bag with the logo of a local crafting store. That evening, my husband said that he would like to have an hour of alone time every night after our son goes to sleep. He stressed that he would not like to be disturbed, but if I needed him, I could call him or text him. I agreed to this because we're both adjusting to not having very much me time since the

birth of our son. Last night, during my husband's alone time, our son started crying. I checked the baby monitor and saw that he had simply lost his pacifier and was going back to sleep. However, the baby monitor also shows part of our son's room, not just his crib. In the corner of our son's room, I saw my husband sitting on the floor with a bunch of chunky yarn in front of him. I turned the volume up and heard that he was watching a YouTube video about how to finger-knit. This sweet man is making me a blanket. He absolutely loves surprising me, but he's terrible at keeping secrets. I just know that he's going to slip up and accidentally mention something about the blanket at some point.

I plan on acting clueless so that I'll be surprised when he gives it to me. I just love him so much and I'm so delighted that he's learning a new skill so that I can have a custom blanket. Then, two weeks later later OP posted an update. My sweet husband broke. I would occasionally ask what this mysterious project was and he would get a cheeky smile and say, I can't tell you. That eventually evolved into him repeatedly telling me that keeping the surprise was really hard and he wanted to just tell me.

I kept saying, no, you've kept it a surprise for so long, you can keep going. But one day, after dinner, he decided that he couldn't keep it in anymore. He showed it to me. It was only about a quarter done, but it was lovely. The yarn was really soft and it was my favorite color. I could tell that he had taken his time because of the consistency of all the loops. Even unfinished, it was perfect. He told me that he kept moving it around to different hiding spots, but since our house

is very small, it was only a matter of time before I accidentally found it. He said that he had run out of yarn and asked if I wanted to pick out another color and add to it. I said yes and we made a little date out of it. We grabbed lunch and then we walked around the craft store before I picked out a complementary color to the one that he had chosen. He hasn't had much time to work on it the past few days, but he assured me it'll be finished by my birthday. OP, when I read the title, my husband doesn't know that I know what he's up to, I was like, oh great.

Another story about a cheating husband, ruining lives, ruining relationships. I'm so tired of these depressing stories about broken relationships, but no, this was delightfully wholesome. That was our slash best of Redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.