rSlash - r/Bestof I Found My Long-Lost Brother

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. 0:00 Intro 0:09 Found my brother 4:13 Step dad vs bio dad 11:32 Embarrassing encounter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off, what's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings. I know, in fact it's in the script. When you save more, you can do more.

For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent, or... Welcome to our Slash Best of Redditor updates. We're OP thinks that she's finally found her long-lost brother. Our next reddit post is from a relationship advice. I think I found my brother who ran away from home nine years ago and we never found him, and I don't know how to approach him in case it's not him. I'm a 23 year old woman, and my long lost brother is 21. For background, my younger brother ran away from home when I was 14. Apparently my mother beat him very hard and told him to go away, he's not her child

anymore after he broke a new TV while playing football in the house. She said that she didn't mean it and she was just disciplining him and she said that in the heat of the moment. My brother was always a troublesome kid, carefree, a little too adventurous, but he had a good heart and I loved him very much. At first we thought that he would just come back,

then hours went by and we started to get worried. After a day without him coming back, we started to search for him. We asked around, called the cops, and filed a missing person report. We searched for him for a long time and we never found him. His disappearance tore my family apart. My dad blamed my mom and they divorced shortly after my 15th birthday. The relationship between my grandparents and my mom deteriorated. Fast forward to about a month ago. I got a job as an intern at a logistic company in my country. I'm an assistant to a driver dispatcher.

One of the driver's names caught my attention a week ago. It's the exact same name as my brothers. The driver came back about three days ago from a shipment and I've been kind of observing him and he kind of looks like my brother. He resembles my dad. I haven't been able to sleep for days wondering if I should approach him. What if it's not him? I'm a shy person and I'm really not good with people. Will you think that I'm crazy? Should I at least do some more homework before I approach him? And if it is him, what should I tell my parents? Then about a week later, OP posts in an update. So I approached the guy a day after this post using some of the methods you guys suggested. And it went better than I'd anticipated.

He recognized me even before I could tell him the things that I'd rehearsed. Apparently he already looked me up online, and since I have very little going on, except for lurking on Twitter and Reddit, he could hardly find anything concrete. So the only pictures of me that he could find were from my best friend's Instagram post a couple of months ago, and he knew that she and I were kind of friends. I asked why he didn't reach out, and he said that he was afraid that I was mad at that she and I were kind of friends. I asked why he didn't reach out and he said that he was afraid that I was mad at him and I would never forgive him for running away and leaving me. I was completely taken aback by that because I never saw things that way.

I was a bit mad that he had me worried about him for years but finding him alive and well completely dwarfs any anger, sadness, and disappointment I had. And for those who wonder what happened after he left home, it hasn't been easy for him. Being homeless, abusing drugs, dealing drugs, serving time in jail a couple of times, depression, suicidal thoughts, but eventually a charity program found him when he was 16 and helped him out. Eventually, he had to deal drugs again. It's common in my country where young kids or orphans are abducted and forced to sell drugs.

Well, we've been hanging out a lot. There's been a lot of tears in catching up to do. He asked about our dad because he had tried to find our dad too, but our dad left the country a few years back to be with his new wife and kids, so he's not ready to face that just yet. As for our mom, he said that he forgave her, but he just doesn't want to see her yet. I'm so glad to be reunited with my brother.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice. Wow, that's a crazy story. I can't believe that you two just cross paths randomly. You both happen to work at the same company like eight years later, it's wild. Just think, if Opie had not gotten that job, she would probably go her entire life without ever meeting her brother again. It's almost like fate brought you guys back together. Our next red oppose comes from R-slash-am-i-the-butthole.

Well, I'd be the butthole if I asked my step-dad to walk me down the aisle instead of my biological dad? I'm a 28-year-old woman, and when I was four years old, my dad cheated on my mom with his now wife and my mom divorced him. My mom got 50-50 custody. I hated going to my father's house because I didn't want his wife to tell me what to do. My dad reduced his custody after he got married. I was six at the time and I wasn't even invited to his wedding, but his stepkids were. Ooh, ouch. His excuse was that I was still bitter and I would ruin the ceremony.

Over time, he only ever paid the child support to my mom and I was completely neglected by him. When my dad had my half-brother, he was busy with him and completely ignored me. He even stopped taking me to his house for the weekends. He would just ignore me. He would tell me that he wouldn't talk to me unless I act like a good child, as in, call my stepmom mom rather than her name. He would make excuses not to take me to ice cream or to do any activities. When I graduated elementary school, he promised that he

and I would go fishing. He ghosted me and told my mom that there was an emergency. Again, I was abandoned. By that time, my mom started dating my stepdad, Lenny. Lenny was the father I never had. He was a single dad, but he still treated me like his own child. He taught me how to swim, how to drive my car, he attended all the school functions I was in. He was there every time my dad abandoned me. I went very low contact with my dad, only contacting him on Christmas. I didn't even call him on Father's Day.

So, fast forward to now, I'm getting married. I've asked Lenny to walk me down the aisle because he's the only dad I've ever known. My dad and my dad's side of the family will also be attending the wedding. This news infuriated my dad. He told me that I'm his only daughter so I shouldn't keep him away from his rights as a father. I'm getting calls from his side of the family too. My father is upset that I'm sidelining him. According to him, he's been a great father and I'm being unfair to him. Also, he doesn't want Lenny to walk me down the aisle at all. I told my dad that he could walk his

stepdaughter down the aisle and that he'll only be a guest. I've made my decision. He called me a butthole and told me that he didn't pay child support just so I could grow up to be an ungrateful brat. So was I wrong? I know he's my dad, but I just don't feel like he is. Then nine days later, OP posted an update. I got married two days ago. I can say that I'm relieved to know people don't think that I'm doing the wrong thing. So I did what I wanted. I texted my dad that I am not changing my decision. If he wants to come to my wedding, he can. I'm not going to force him.

That approach didn't work. He called my mom and asked my mom to talk to me about the situation. I was hoping my dad would drop this, but no. He just had to act entitled. I wrote him a long message because I didn't want him to interrupt me while talking to him. My dad interrupts a lot. I told him to give me one good reason that I should let him walk me down the aisle when he has never been a dad in my life.

He never cared enough to make his marriage work with my mom and decided to betray her and our family. Despite all of that, I still loved him, but every time he left me, he abandoned me. Lenny has been my dad growing up. I doubt my dad even knows anything about me. He's just some guy who used to pay my child support and with whom I share DNA. I said that he is nothing like Lenny because he missed all the big events in my life. He's never cared for or even tried to be there for me, and he has the audacity to call me his daughter. Since he didn't do his fatherly duties, I don't think that I should do any daughter duties

towards him. How can he possibly think that he could give me away when he already gave me away 20 years ago? Oh shit! Oh, that stings that birds! Ouch, O.P. A few minutes went by. Then my dad called me and asked if this was really what I thought about him for my entire life. I asked him, where was he when I graduated? Where was he when I won first prize in my dancing competition? Where was he when I won first prize in my dancing competition? Where was he when I needed someone to guide me? I dared him to tell me one thing about me. How much does he really know about me? When was the last time he initiated any conversations with me?

He went silent. He asked me if I was still mad about the past. I told him, the past is the reason that I know that he's an unreliable man. All these years, if he's taught me anything, it's that he's a terrible father and that someone like him can't be trusted. I made the biggest mistake of my life believing that he would come through. The only reason I never bothered with him is because of what he did in the past. Lastly, I will not encourage him to come to my wedding. That's his choice. It's not like he's paying for it anyways. Later, I got a message from my stepmom that said what I said has broken my father, oh

boohoo. He's very much upset. I told her, well, if he's upset by the truth, then he shouldn't have asked and he shouldn't have pushed my buttons. He's ignored me my entire childhood, so he doesn't get to play the dad now. My wedding went smoothly. The majority of my father's side of the family bailed. I had my mom's side of the family and some of Lenny's family as well, but overall it was fine.

I cannot be more thankful to Lenny. Though it still hurts being betrayed by my own dad. I'm okay. My kids will know that Lenny is their grandfather. So there's two things I want to point out about this post, which are kind of subtle, you might have missed them. First of all, there's inherent hypocrisy in OP's biological dad walking OP down the aisle, because this is a celebration of marriage, the sanctity of marriage, and this guy cheated on his wife.

So in addition to the fact that the bio dad hasn't really been a real dad to OP, doing this would make him a massive hypocrite. Secondly, I want to remind you that when OP graduated elementary school, the father promised to take her fishing. And you know, I don't want to be sexist with here, girls can love fishing, there's nothing wrong with girls loving fishing, but typically girls don't want to be sexist with here. Girls can love fishing. There's nothing wrong with girls loving fishing, but typically girls don't like fishing, generally speaking. So my guess is that OP doesn't care at all about fishing.

She doesn't like fishing. So let me ask you guys, who's more likely to be the fishing fan here? A six year old girl or a cheating dad? My guess is that it's the cheating dad. And this guy only said that he would take her fishing because he wants to go fishing. If he really wanted to celebrate with a 6 year old girl, then he would take her to ice cream or princess party or, you know, the park to play, you know, normal 6 year old girl

activities. Now again, don't blast me if there are any girls out there like fishing. If OP really does like fishing that I'm just being sexist here, I'm just playing the odds. Most girls don't like fishing. So, you know, it's just a numbers game here. Anyways, OP, I'm glad that everything worked out. Your biological dad is every example of what a dad shouldn't be, and Lenny is every example of what a dad should be.

Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations. Okay, Sunwing Cyber Monday deals up to 40% off. Hang on, I think we got the wrong script. Yeah, it's 40% off, what's the issue? 40% off Cyber Monday vacation deals? Yes, why do you keep repeating me? 40% off? Huh, just think about what you could do with all those savings.

I know, in fact, it's in the script, when you save more, you can do more. For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent, or... TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON TISTE-SEASON

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It's a tradition truly worth sharing. The festive special. Only at SWISH.LA. Visit SWISH.LA.ca for contest details, while supplies last. Our next red-appost is from our slash-ask parents. I'm a 38-year-old single-de dead, and I'm the primary caregiver for my daughter, who's 15 years old. Her mother has been out of the picture for a long time,

and I've been single-handedly taking care of my daughter since she was three years old. Last weekend, I caught her in a very inconvenient, very embarrassing moment. I arrived home early without informing her. She was in the living room right across from the TV on my couch, but naked watching adult videos. I screamed in horror and she followed. I ran out of the living room apologizing and she ran to her room and locked the door. Since that day, I haven't seen my daughter. Now, I'm not a strict dad. For context, we live in a conservative Muslim country, but

Islam doesn't play a role in my family's or in many of her acquaintances' life. I'm open as much as I can be regarding passionate hugging, puberty, mental health, etc. But, of course, no one is immune from the society they live in. My daughter won't talk to me. She deliberately avoids me. I try to communicate with her through her door, and the best I get is, I'm fine, leave me alone, as the answer. She changed her schedule so we don't bump into each other. She doesn't answer my calls, and I might get one or two word text messages if I'm lucky. I don't know how to deal with this situation.

I don't care what she does in her private time, I just miss my daughter. I want to spend time together again. She can be very stubborn and I know that if I don't intervene somehow, this hide and seek game will last much longer. Then about 5 days later, OP post in an update. I was hesitant to make an update, but I thought there might be other parents, especially single parents who might experience a similar situation. As I expected, the situation never improved.

Hyden's seat continued. I wrote a letter to my daughter as suggested in the initial post. I basically wrote that she did nothing wrong, that she shouldn't be ashamed, and that I missed her. I was planning to put the letter on her doorway or slide it under when she wasn't home. Then I changed my plan. Two days ago, at nighttime, I knocked her on her door again and demanded to speak to her. Obviously, she tried to make me go away, but I was determined this time. I forced her to unlock her door and demanded an explanation why she's still avoiding me. She immediately burst into tears, and I felt awful inside. Never in my life was I this assertive to my child. I hugged her and

said that it's okay. I'm not angry. You did nothing wrong. At this point, my shirt was wet with her tears and mucus. I told her we can talk about it when she feels better in the morning, or never mention it again for the rest of our lives if she's willing to go back to our normal father-daughter relationship. The next morning, the subject never came up, but she let me braid her hair so we're good now. I'm getting my daughter her own TV, sending my couch to get deep cleaned, and

I'm doing no more unannounced house arrivals. I'll probably make fun of her 10 years later or something as payment for my suffering. Well, I'm glad everything worked out in the end, but unfortunately your daughter still has to master the art of stealth wanking. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash best of redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast

because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.