rSlash - r/Bestof I Genuinely HATE My Daughter

Episode Date: January 22, 2023

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Welcome to our slash best of redditor updates, where OP absolutely despises her own daughter. My boyfriend went to go on a vacation this summer to his mom's friend house in Hawaii with me and his two best friends, a 25-year-old guy and a 29-year-old girl. We've been planning this all spring, and at some point his 25-year-old guy friend dropped out of the trip, leaving just the three of us. For context, my boyfriend and I have been going out since November, and it's been serious. We've been talking about moving in together, and he said, and I agree, that this is a long-term situation and that we're in it for good. In early June, once the 25-year-old guy friend unexpectedly dropped out of the trip, the

29-year-old female friend called my boyfriend and told him that now that it was just the three of us, she didn't feel comfortable with me going on the trip, since she didn't know me that well and she didn't want me to be a third wheel. She said that if I were to go, then she wouldn't go on the trip. Without telling me that this was happening, they changed the plans and made it a trip with just a two of them and they changed a location to a beach in Costa Rica. I was trying to figure out when to ask for time off this summer and I hadn't heard news about the plans, so I asked my boyfriend which we can August I should set aside for the Hawaii trip.

He let me know that actually he had talked to his friend and she didn't want to go if I was going. So he was going to go alone with her to Costa Rica. He said that we could go another week later, maybe to Mexico City or something. I was upset and tried to talk with him about how the situation made me feel, especially since this wasn't a case of a separate trip being set up ahead of time.

This was a case of me being invited and then uninvited from a weak long tropical vacation with a girlfriend of his who I'd never met before. We eventually decided to do a trip together to Copenhagen, which we both wanted to visit as some sort of compensation. I also asked to meet her so that I could feel more comfortable with the trip. We spent the 4th of July going to see her and her boyfriend in the city where they live, and although it was nice to put a face to a name, it was ultimately a very cold trip,

and she was not at all welcoming to me. My boyfriend remarked on how unfriendly she was, to both of us, he thought, and he said that he was surprised that she didn't act warmly to me. I went out of my way to try to get to know her and her boyfriend, but it didn't really click, even after several days. She and her boyfriend were somewhat cold to each other as well. They bickered a bit about their future and his own three week trip without her that was scheduled at the same time as their trip. His three week trip had been scheduled before ours had. This had been my effort to feel better about the trip, so I told my boyfriend that I still don't feel comfortable with things,

and that I was feeling insulted by the way that it was handled. I had tried to smooth things out between all of us, and I asked him to please come up with something that could help me feel better about the trip. On a visit to see his family, they asked about the trip, and they were all shocked that he would have arranged it this way, and they let me know that they would have been furious if they were put in my position, which triggered a fight in which I asked him to please come up with a strategy to make me feel better and more secure about them going together without me. He said that he would never do this kind of thing again, which feels like not much of an offer, since this is already a once in a lifetime kind of trip. He kind of offered to not go on the trip, but he had already paid for the tickets and made arrangements, and I didn't

want to stop their trip and be resented by both him and his best friend. He asked me to give him ideas of how to make me feel better and wanted me to just tell him what to do and stalled and stalled until it was finally the day of the trip. He bought me a bag of peanut butter cups and I drove the two of them to the airport. Oof, out, Oopie. Oh, man. I feel so disregarded and disrespected in the situation. I want to break up with him, but I don't't wanna burn up something that's otherwise been really good. Okay, that's the end of the post. I don't know where this is going.

Obviously, this is best of, so everything's already happened, but girl, come on. They are gonna be humping like rabbits. And then you drove your boyfriend and what is obviously his mistress to the airport? Ouch. Oh, that stings!

Okay, and then 9 days later, OP posted an update. I was really upset the day I dropped him off, and he was texting me, but I wasn't responding. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I didn't want to do anything at all in the state that I was in. I waited until the next day, then I sent him a thought out text letting him know that I didn't feel safe or loved in the way the trip was handled, and that I would be dropping his things off at his place and leaving his keys with the neighbor. He called, but didn't leave any messages, and then he messaged me that he didn't understand. The rest of the week, he called

and messaged me, but I couldn't bring myself to pick up or text back. On Thursday, I think he realized that I was serious, and he asked me some questions about logistical things, like which neighbor his key was with, etc. When he got back and saw all of his things at his place, he got pretty frantic and called and left a long message. I was working all day, but also, I just didn't want to respond. He asked me to explain because he didn't understand what was going on. The next day, I sent another text making it clear that it was over. And he got upset and sent me a bunch of texts in a row about how he didn't understand why I was throwing everything away that we built. He left

me a really angry voicemail that said that he had no idea why I was upset with him, and that he wanted me to tell him the evil story that I had made up about him to his face. I wasn't going to respond to him and I wanted to remain calm, but this upset me. So I sat down and write him a letter. I tried to call him, but I started crying and I told him that I would just send him an email instead. Okay, so this email's pretty long. I'm gonna summarize the less interesting parts and read the more juicy bits. OP said that she had time to think. She said that she was extremely disrespected by how the trip was handled, which true, girl, true. Also, apparently OP found out that while her boyfriend

was dating someone else before they met, he had spent an entire night with this other girl on some kind of like acid trip and allegedly nothing happened, but that caused like conflict because still, he spent the entire night with some other girl tripping out on drugs. OP says the way that he canceled the trip and then bought new tickets to

Costa Rica without even telling him was disrespectful and yeah it is disrespectful. Then OP tries to fix a situation by arranging a meeting between herself and this other girl but she's cold and standoffish so she feels even more insecure because who wouldn't right? Then OP goes on to say that this entire time he's been making her feel uncomfortable. So I'll read this last bit here. I can't handle your relationship with that girl, and I suppose I could ask you to pick between her and me, but that's not something that I want to do. I want you to have your best friend, and I want to leave. I did love you, but I'm not about to fight this fight and hear you tell me that I'm crazy for not seeing how totally

Plotonic everything is for the rest of my life. There is no need for this to be mutual I do not need your permission to break up with you. Okay, the letter ends here and then OP continues He wrote me back in a polygetic email in which he accepted responsibility for most things without any arguments accepted responsibility for most things without any arguments. Except he denied anything that had to do with his relationship with her, making me feel uncomfortable, and he denied that I wouldn't be able to handle their relationship. He said that the only thing that made their trip bad for me was my own perspective. I wrote him back that trust has to be built, and that he put too much strain too early on a relationship in which we hadn't developed that trust yet. He agreed and apologized. For me, it ended on a pretty ambicable note, but this style of relationship

really doesn't work for me. And I don't feel like his responses to me really healed or changed anything significantly. I stand by my decision at this point. Opie, you're your boyfriend's a jerk. Well, ex- ex boyfriend, I should say, luckily. This guy seems to be adopting the argument that just because I'm not cheating, that means that what I'm doing with this girl is okay. That's just not true. Even if they really weren't cheating, even if they were sleeping in separate beds, they weren't kissing, they weren't passionately hugging, they weren't even holding hands. It was strictly a hundred percent platonic. Still, that's still disrespectful to you in your relationship. Because fundamentally, what he's telling you is that his relationship with his friend is more important than his relationship with you. Also, the money that he spent on this vacation is more important than his

relationship with you. Oh, well, I see the problem is I already bought the tickets. So what's a, what does it cost to go to Costa Rica for a week? I don't know, probably three to $5,000 is throwing that out. I don't know if that's accurate. So I'm sorry, sweetie, but I can't cancel. I have to go in this vacation with this other woman. He's literally saying that he values $5,000 more than his girlfriend. And that's like, and that's like best-case scenario. That's assuming that they're not passionately hugging,

but you and I both know that they are. This guy honestly expects us to believe that a young man and a young woman are going to a romantic tropical beach side location, and they're just, what? Collecting sea shells together, having long conversations about how much they miss their boyfriend and girlfriend and how they wish they could be there with them, no, he's pounding her like a jackhammer.

OP, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. Our next reddit post comes from our slash true off my chest. The title is, I think that I genuinely hate my daughter. I was married to a very toxic man when I was very young. He held me prisoner in my own home. One day, he just up and left with another woman. It was like someone answered my prayers. It was the first time in 15 years that I saw someone outside of my home. Oh my God! I had three kids with them. My sons were old enough to remember what their father was like, but my daughter was only a couple of years old.

We tried to shield her as much as we could from the truth, but she picked up a few details here and there. He contacted us twenty years later when he was terminally ill and wanted to see his kids. My sons refused, but my daughter went to see him. Her brothers were very distraught by it, but I told them to let her be. He died six months later. When my daughter was pregnant, she found out that it was a boy, and she told me that she was going to name him after her father.

I fainted at that thought. I couldn't believe her. I begged her not to do it, but she said that she was sorry, but she didn't have the same horrible picture of him that we had. And she insinuated that I've lied about her dad. He's probably poisoned her mind. I didn't know what to do, and my son said they didn't want anything to do with her anymore.

But before that, without my knowledge, my son's met with my daughter and her husband. They told them everything they remembered and everything they knew. All the abuse and imprisonment. Her answer was, I'm sorry, but I don't give a s***. This is not my experience with them. I felt sick. The last time I saw her, when I tried to talk to her one last time, I was scared. I saw her father looking back at me through her eyes, and I was that scared 18 year old prisoner again. I knew that I hated her there and then. She's given birth now, and she texted me a picture of her and her son. I deleted it before even seeing it. She's called and texted me multiple times. Now she's saying that I turned her brothers against her.

I did know such thing, of course, but I was partially the reason why they won't speak to her. Why don't I feel more guilt or horror that I hate my own child? I never thought that such a thing was possible, and I haven't admitted it to anyone because I'm disgusted with myself. Life sucks. Then about two weeks later, O.P. Posts in an update. I was here venting about something I thought I would be crucified for, but instead I was met with so much support

and understanding. I never did thank you. This community is amazing. I've decided to go no contact with my daughter. Anyway, my daughter felt ostracized by her brothers and she spread rumors about me influencing my sons to boycott her. After she gave birth, she started texting me pictures of her son with his name. I never answered her.

I also changed my phone number and my work number goes directly to an assistant before the calls or emails are forwarded to me. The only way that she could contact me now is if she showed up at my place. And she did that with her mother-in-law, husband, and baby on Sunday. She gave me her son to hold, and then she and the rest of them sat around the kitchen table.

She was looking at me the whole time when she accused me of being a bad mother and grandmother. That I should get over myself because I wasn't the only woman in the world who experienced a bad marriage. That I was spoiled, a loose woman, selfish. She told me that she knew why I was doing all this. She said that I was doing this because I wanted to exclude her from the inheritance, but that she would fight against the will with all of her power for her and her son. I don't remember much of what happened next. I was feeling sick and I felt like I was coming in and out of consciousness. I didn't

just hate my daughter, I was terrified of her. All I could think of was I didn't want to be in the closet again. The next thing I remember is my son-in-law walking after me in the street with a coat in his hand and asking if I needed an ambulance. Later, he told my sons that I kept telling him not to take me back to the closet. My ex would lock me in the closet for days, sometimes weeks when I disobeyed him. Oh my god. The next thing I remember was seeing my sons in the hospital. None of them live in my town, and I was planning to find a new job and move closer to them before all this happened. Now, not only do I not have anything here to live for, I'm terrified. I don't know what inheritance my daughter is talking about either. I own so little, my car is old, and my house isn't of any significance. Anyways,

I'm selling it, and still I'll give her her share. That way I can make sure that she can never come after me about it. My sons aren't happy about my decision, but I would give her anything if she would just leave me alone and never bother me again. I'm happy to buy my freedom if it was money she was after all along. My older son said that my daughter was planning on taking over my house once I retired. It was something she talked about before, way before she even met her husband. When my son's moved to another city, she was thinking that since she was the only one still living in town, she could take over the house and start a family.

When I cut her off, she thought that I was going to cut her out of my will, too. That's why she kept trying to force a relationship with me. Now, I can just buy her out of my life. The rest of the money I'll put on a down payment for a small space in my new city. I'll work from home until I can be transferred or find a new job. If you made it this far, thank you for listening, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. My God. Sounds like OP's daughter takes after her father.

How can you literally never see someone for your entire life, and then you have one like single meeting with him before he dies, and you completely reverse how you see your mother and your father, and now you love your father, but you hate your mother who raised you? How does one meeting invalidate like 20 years of being a mother to you? I hate to break it to you OP, but there is no way that your daughter is done with you. You think giving her your house is going to satisfy her? Not a chance. The second she finds out that you have more than $5 to your name, she'll be back.

That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. If you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.