rSlash - r/Bestof I Imprisoned My Husband for 30 Years

Episode Date: March 2, 2024

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Hey guys, real quick, I'm currently recording this from China, so just a heads up over the next month or so, there might be a slight dip in audio quality, but hopefully it's not that bad, and eventually it'll go back to normal. Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates, where OP's husband goes completely off the deep end and ruins her life. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash true off my chest. I'm a 34 year old woman, and last Friday I spent my evening with Kate, a young friend who's 24 from work because she wanted to discuss something personal with me.

I didn't think anything of it, as we do have a very personal relationship outside of work as well. As soon as I arrived at her place, the tension in the air was thick. She explained that she wanted to discuss a serious matter with me, but that she didn't know how to go about it. I told her she just ripped the band-aid off and told me. She told me that she had found two recordings of a woman that she believed to be me on an adult website. I told her that wouldn't be possible, but she was adamant that I was the woman in the recording and she was right.

I have never recorded myself naked or passionately hugging with my husband, but there I was in two recordings of 7 minutes and 4 minutes, both of them recorded in our old bedroom. As I watched every second of these videos, it starts to dawn on me that this was my husband's doing. But I pushed that deep down because there must be a reasonable explanation for this. Honestly, I left her place with my mind in a complete meltdown. I could barely hear what she was saying, but she did follow up with the text saying that she's been in contact with the website about getting it taken down and that she'll help me get through this. She also said that she's scouring the internet the website about getting it taken down and that she'll help me get through this.

She also said that she's scouring the internet in case there's more out there. I came home and pretty much ransacked my house looking for evidence and I found it. My husband was using a hidden spy camera to spy on me and record me in my most intimate moments. I just spent hours vomiting, crying, projectile vomiting some more, and begging God to just let this be a nightmare. I'm a deeply religious and fully veiled Muslim woman, and I've never been with anyone but my husband. And all this time, he's been sharing my most intimate moments with the world. I don't know what to think or what to do. I can't look at him or speak to him. I've locked myself in our bedroom,

pretending that I have COVID. All I do is look up how other people have dealt with getting things removed. And it seems like once it's on the internet, it really is forever, even if I remove it from just one site. I've been crying nonstop. My husband truly must be something demonic,

as right now he's talking about ordering in some of my favorite food to see if I have an appetite since I haven't been eating well. I'm so unbelievably hurt. I don't know how to share this with my family, how to ask for help, and I'm crippled with shame, anger, and pain. Also, OP adds some clarifying details. My husband, soon to be my ex-husband, denies the same religion, race, ethnicity, and nationality. My culture doesn't do honor killing, so I don't have to worry about that. My family would support me in divorcing him. In fact, they would demand that I divorce him. I do plan on taking this to court. Also, I'm veiled by choice. Then two weeks later, OP posted an update.

I left him as I said that I would. He went off to work. Then the movers arrived and we packed my stuff and left. The entire time I was crying to the point that even the movers were worried for me, but I couldn't stop myself from crying. I went home, sat my parents and siblings down and explained the situation.

My parents were and still are confused. They're elderly and fragile. They don't understand the internet. They just kept saying, let's talk to the people and it'll be gone. But my siblings understand and they're angry. They're sad and heartbroken on my behalf. My siblings and their partners took me home.

We waited for my husband to come back from work and we had a conversation with him. He denied it at first. Then my brothers were firm with him and he started to be more truthful. He said he did it because he was depressed, because he had a passionate hugging addiction, and because he didn't think anyone would see it. He said that he only posted a few. When we asked him to be specific about how many, he said that he posted anywhere between five to eight videos. We had him take the videos down, but who knows how many times they've been downloaded or shared. During this time,

I also found out that he has a secret phone. He was also cheating on me with random women and sex workers. All this time, I was thinking that he was working hard, but nope, he was out disgracing himself and betraying our marriage. At some point, he convinced us that he needed to use the bathroom and he somehow managed to call his mommy. She arrived at our home with his brothers and cousins. There was a commotion because they were angry at the treatment of their family member. Then things calmed down enough to explain to them

what he'd done. His mother fainted. His mother is elderly and not in the greatest health condition. We called for an ambulance. My neighbor also called the police and I was arrested by the time the ambulance arrived to take care of my mother-in-law. Yo, what? Opie was arrested by the time the ambulance arrived to take care of my mother-in-law. Yo, what? OP was arrested for what? I spent the evening locked up. I didn't exactly have a polite conversation with my husband.

So yeah, I got arrested for assaulting him, specifically slapping him, and he refused to press charges. I got released the next morning and went home to my parents. I cried some more because my parents kept crying. Then a few days later, I spoke to some lawyers my sister had contacted because they had experience with non-consensual material being posted online. They've been handling things with the pleas because I did press charges and they're dealing with the websites.

I've also started the divorce process. I went to the clinic and got tested, and luckily he didn't give me anything. I've spoken to his mother, and she apologized to me, even though it's not her fault. She told me she understood why I want him punished. She asked that I let it stay in the hands of the law rather than I hurt him or have him hurt. My husband isn't hiding, but he still calls and texts me from random numbers. He lies and tries to manipulate me. I've been documenting everything he sends me. And at this point, everyone knows, even the little kids in the family, and I feel even more humiliated than I did at first. Then, three months later, OP posted an update.

This man has destroyed everything I've worked for and has completely destroyed the very little sense of stability and safety I had left. I had to resign from my job, a job that I loved. Jobs do not come easy for me with the way that I look. I can't work there anymore because I'm a potential danger to the children and staff because perverted men have started to harass me at work. I work with vulnerable children, and mothers who have heard about me have started to refuse

me working with their kids. Some don't want me involved with their child because their husbands can't stop being weird. Fathers have leered at me or made lewd comments towards me, and one of them even offered me money to sleep with him. Men have catcalled me with greater frequency than ever before. Men stare at me. A man followed me from my dentist's office and groped me on the street. Random men call my phone, my family home, and office to verbally abuse me because my husband posted my address, my personal and work email,

verbally abuse me because my husband posted my address, my personal and work email, my phone numbers, my workplace address, and every other bit of information online. It says that the eyes and judgment of the entire world is on me. Yeah, the majority of people are sympathetic, kind, and support me. Many people have even reached out in support of me, from old classmates to former colleagues, neighbors, members of my religious community, family friends, his family, and many many more have expressed solidarity and kindness. But all the crazies and perverts who believe my husband are just like him, they're bolder, louder, and much more noticeable.

Then, yo what the hell, I found out from my lawyers from their investigation that he was drugging me and assaulting me as I slept. I suffer from migraines and insomnia and take medication for it. He saw my medication as an opportunity to drug me with my own prescriptions. He had been posting on a forum, actually bragging, with other perverts about how he was so clever for drugging me with my own medication. And they were encouraging him to do more things to me. Then my ex-husband also decided to spread rumors that I was aware of the cameras and

pressured him into posting online and there are people who actually believe him. He also changed his mind about not pressing charges. I had to go to court. The judge and prosecutors were sympathetic to me and dismissed the case. It was a combination of my lawyers explaining the circumstances that led to me slapping him and his subsequent actions.

My lawyers used his own words against him since he wrote in a text and in a recorded call that he admitted to me not having slapped him hard and that he only pressed charges to cause me harm. However, his crimes against me are still being investigated by the prosecutors. Then, five months later, OP posted an update. I wish I could say that I was feeling better or doing better, but I feel awful and I'm still struggling with everything. It is still his life mission to be as cruel as he can and to stand in the way of every

step that I make. He's still refusing to work with my divorce lawyer. He continues to be difficult every step of the way and has run off his own lawyers. He's now on his third lawyer and we are again starting from scratch in the divorce negotiations. He's been granted an extension by the courts due to his last lawyer just dropping him a few days before our hearing. As for posting the non-consensual material, a trial date was scheduled and he recently asked for an extension, and he'll probably be granted it because his criminal lawyer

dropped him too. So in the last month, he's been dropped by his divorce lawyer and his criminal lawyer. This man is on a roll. When it rains, it sure pours. My father passed a little over a month ago, and my mother is now in hospice care as she is soon to go back to God. I'm sad, but not shocked about this because I've had a long time to repair for it. My soon-to-be ex-husband decided that it was a great idea to

corner me at the venue that we held after the funeral meal. He waited for me to be alone and approached me as I was cleaning up the venue. I was exhausted and couldn't muster up the rage to chase him off as I had done many times before, so I just let him talk. He seemed almost decent because he was giving millions of excuses about why things were the way that they were. He cried about how awful he feels for hurting me. Then he started telling me about how he always felt that I was better than him in everything because I made more money, I was better educated, and I was even more traveled than him.

And he felt jealous of my confidence. And how, in the beginning, these things were what he was most attracted to me for, but as our relationship and marriage progressed, these things became the things that he most disliked about me. He also said that he was angry that I refused to consider being a stay-at-home wife and mother, even though he knew from the beginning that I wasn't the stay-at-home homemaker type. He said that he tried to be a good husband, but that my refusal to bend or let him have

the last say in things was the catalyst for his anger and need to humiliate me. He talked about how he always had addiction issues, but he thought that if he were married, then that would cure his depression and his addictions. And he thought that if I knew the truth about him him then I never would have married him. As a result he wanted to punish me for thinking that I was better than him. He was jealous and angry about so many things, but when I said to him, so you hurt me because you felt jealous and inadequate in comparison. He lost his mind and started to shout and say that he knew that I would react that way.

I refrained from commenting further and just let him spill his guts uninterrupted. For three hours he made excuse after excuse for why he did what he did. But it all comes down to him feeling inferior to me, him feeling jealous and angry that I dared to have a mind and life of my own. He said that right before our wedding, he joined a men's group online that was helping him deal with his addictions. And one tip given to him was for him to make his own videos and watch those.

He said that he knew that I would never agree to it, so he did it in secret. But then one day, I angered him so much that as payback, he posted a video online and he felt good about it. So from then on, every time I made him feel emasculated, he would post another video. Eventually, he gained a following, and he had so many men asking him to post more. He started to like the fact that other men looked up to him for his sexual prowess,

and at the same time, his addiction started to come back, and he fell back into his habit of picking up women and he couldn't get it for free, so addiction started to come back and he fell back into his habit of picking up women and he couldn't get it for free. So he had to hire a sex worker. Then I guess it just spiraled out of control for him. He spent money on addictions, which means he had to lie, which means I had to cover finances, which means he resented me more for being the moneymaker.

So he got stuck in a cycle of self-destruction, which in turn only fueled his anger with me. He also said that he joined a support group for Addix and he started going to Addiction Rehab, so I should give him credit for that. He feels that I should be proud of him for doing that and I should take him back because he's putting in so much work.

He also, man, geez, Louise, he also feels that I should appreciate him not stalking me since my dad died, and he's sincere in feeling this way. He genuinely doesn't understand why I'm not seeing how Hardy's been trying the past few months. In his deluded mind, he thinks that his honesty in our conversation should count for something, and that I'm just being a heartless B-word for being stoic and unmoved by his tears and show of vulnerability. I just continued to pack things up from the venue, got in my car, and went home.

I'm still not working. I have crazy men calling my phone all hours of the day, and I feel humiliated and embarrassed. The only good thing that's happened is that several of the websites have taken down the recordings and he's also been banned from those platforms. Then four months after that, which is almost exactly one year since the first post, OP posted an update. Finally I have some good news. A while back I was granted a restraining order and my now officially ex-husband continued

to stalk and harass me. After the umpteenth time of calling the cops and going to court, he was finally imprisoned and he's been in prison for a little over a month. I was also granted my divorce. I initially wanted a quick divorce and wanted to just give him everything he asked for, but he kept finding ways to delay or asking for more and more. And I just snapped, so I told my lawyers to do their worst and they did. My lawyers hated him and I got everything I wanted and way, way more. Not to gloat, but it was really satisfying seeing him cry. This has been my most peaceful month

that I've had in a long time. This entire thing has been such a trying time and it's affected my mental and physical health. I've lost 12 kilograms, which is about 25 pounds, and I've lost a ton of hair due to the stress that he was causing me. But I can honestly say that him wailing in court was the chicken soup that my

soul needed. I've moved out of my city now and live on the other side of the country because I've gotten myself a decent enough job. I'm slowly mending my confidence. I'm in therapy and I can't say that it's working right now but I know if I stick with it, it will. The non-consensual material that he posted has been removed by the more reputable websites that he posted on, and my lawyers were able to get me monetarily compensated because these companies didn't want to go to court over it. I mean, money doesn't really change things that much, and I'm still hurt, but it's something. I'm also not delusional.

I know that videos will always be out there, and there's not much that I can do about that, so I'm trying to just make peace with it. My ex-husband will be serving time in prison for what he did. I think the reality of the consequences are becoming very clear to him, as I've heard through the Gravevine that he attempted to self-delete and is now in protective custody until his trial date. He's facing, whoa, he's facing up to 30 years and corporal punishment and I absolutely look forward to it. Yo 30 years? That's the ending I was hoping for.

Man, this dude is a level of scum that is pretty rare even among these stories. This guy belongs in prison. It's so weird to me. This guy marries an objectively amazing woman who's educated, makes a lot of money, will travel, and his response to that is instead of saying, okay, my wife is amazing, let me rise up to her level, he says, no, let me tear down my wife so she's below my level. How does that make sense? Oh well, enjoy the prison life, dude!