rSlash - r/Bestof I Just Found Out I Have a 15-yo Daughter

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Surprise father 6:43 Dust mites 10:10 New family member Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bet on the NFL with Fandule, official sports put partner of the NFL. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sports book. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario, gambling problem call 1865-3126-100 to visit connectsentario.ca Welcome to R-SlashBest of Redditor Updates, where OP finds out that he has a 15-year-old daughter that he never knew about. Our next reddit post comes from R-slashdaddit. I'm a 32 year old man, and when I was a teenager, I dated a girl, Kathy.

One day, Kathy broke up with me out of the blue with no explanation. Fast forward 15 years later. The police showed up at my apartment and long story short, Kathy was pregnant with my kid 15 years ago. Kathy got charged with a bunch of drug charges, and when they asked if her daughter could go to any family, she said that I was the dad. Well, after a paternity test, I do have a 15-year-old daughter with Kathy. So, my daughter is going to come live with me today.

I'm not already a dad. I don't have kids or a significant other. Just dogs. So, I'm pretty clueless when it comes to being a dad or taking care of a kid, especially one who's a teenager. After talking with her social worker, she says that Kathy was neglectful to my daughter, and she isn't going to be used to being taken care of or having structure, which will be a big adjustment for her.

The social worker says that I need to be patient with her, and show her love and support even if she doesn't want it. I have a room already for in my apartment, it's pretty basic because I don't want to overwhelm her, so yeah, she's coming home today. I'm just hoping for some support or maybe some tips. Then about 5 days later, OP posted an update. It's been a big adjustment for both my daughter and myself. I told her when I first picked her up that I know this is very new for both of us, so I know that it's going to take some time to adjust. She's been through a lot from what I can tell. She's very underweight and she's not used to constantly having meals. I put a snack

bin in her room so she hopefully doesn't feel the need to hide food, at least stuff that isn't supposed to be left out. I told her that she could get food from the kitchen whenever she wanted, but that seemed to overwhelm her, so now it's a snack bin. I also have breakfast and dinner with her at a consistent time so that she knows a meal is going to happen. She also has nightmares and she screams, of course.

She hasn't told me what they're about. I don't expect her to yet, but whatever it was, it was traumatic for her So I'm in the process of finding a therapist for. On a more positive side I got her to open up enough to find some things out about her. Firstly, she loves my dogs and we take them on walks together She's smart and she loves to read. She also likes to play basketball. I, of course, told her some stuff about me She's pretty quiet and reserved. I expected her to not really be open with me, considering that I'm a stranger to her.

But so far, things aren't too bad. They're going relatively well. Then, 10 days later, OP posted another update. Well, things have been going pretty good so far. Today, she was sitting in the kitchen doing homework, and once she finished, she started playing with my dogs, but she left a few papers out after putting the rest away and I asked what those were and she said, oh just some tests I had last week.

I asked if I could see them. She said sure and she had gotten A's on three tests, chemistry, history and geometry. And she pulled this off despite only being at this new school for less than two weeks. I was honestly very impressed, not because I don't think she's not smart, but because she just started at a new school and is having a big life adjustment. I told her that was amazing, and I told her that when I was her age, I didn't care about the school aspect of school, I just cared about sports and my friends. She said that she enjoys learning and reading because it helps her get away from life. Then it hit me that this was her way of escaping from the assumedly not good life with her

mom, and instead focus her mind on something else like learning and reading. It honestly makes me really sad to think about. Then four days later, OP posted an update. Earlier, we went out to eat because I didn't feel like cooking, and I found out that my daughter never had tacos before. So we went out for tacos, and we were having a very casual conversation until a mother with her two young daughters came in. And you could just tell that the girls were having fun with their mom, and that all three

clearly loved each other. The two girls were both under 10 years old. Well, my daughter got quiet and kept staring at them. Oh man, I just, wow, okay, I suddenly got super emotional out of the blue. I was doing totally fine until that sentence. I didn't want a prize, so I kept quiet. She didn't say anything until randomly on the drive home. She said, sometimes, it's hard seeing girls have a good relationship with their mom.

She says that she gets jealous because she never had a relationship with her mom. Then she started crying and let me know that she wanted to be left alone for the rest of the night. It's hard seeing her cry and be upset. It's also difficult to know this fact, even though I'm now around in my daughter's life, and I'm trying to be a good parent. She's been the first 15 years of her life, not having a good relationship with her mom, and I can't fix that, I wish I could, but I can't, which sucks, because she didn't deserve to be neglected and possibly abused.

I'm just in my feelings, and I'm really sad for my daughter. Then about two months later, OP posted an update. Well, this whole week, she's been really rude and arguing with me, and it's been very rough. During one of the arguments, she ended up telling me some very personal stuff that I'm not going to share here, but I will say that she had a very rough start to life. I was trying my best to comfort her because she seemed like she was having a panic attack.

We were just sitting in silence, and she said, oh man, okay, okay, I just got another pang of emotional, okay, we were sitting in silence and she said, you know, you're pretty good at the whole dad thing for being a newbie. I laughed and said thank you and told her that being your dad had been enjoyable. We were silent for a while, but then she said, thanks dad. That made my whole year to be honest and I've been having happy tears. Oh my god OP, you'll be both. This story is a gut punch.

OP, I don't know if it feels like this now, but my read on the story is that the reason why she was argumentative with you is because she's starting to tear down her walls. And you know, tearing down walls is a violent process, so I think she's starting to tear down her walls. And you know, tearing down walls is a violent process. So I think she's starting to trust you, OP. I really wish you'd been there 15 years earlier, which isn't your fault, of course. As much as the story is focusing on the fact that OP's daughter is a victim,

and of course she is a victim in the story. I kind of want to acknowledge that OP is also a victim. He seems to be a loving, caring, engaged dad who loves having his daughter in his life. And it sucks. God, it sucks that he missed 15 years of his daughter's life just because the mom is a piece of garbage. Our next red post comes from R-slashamayda butthole. Am I the butthole for bringing a hand vacuum to the office and then reporting a colleague

to HR? I'm a 31-year-old woman and I recently found out that I'm allergic to dust mites. For 30 years I've been told that I was being emotional, overthinking, on PMS and other things when raising my concerns about my health, mostly because I'm a woman. I would get a severe rash and the only answer I got back was that it's my hormones, and that once I have my first period or my pregnancy it'll stop but it never stopped. Then I'd get cold like symptoms. Again, they said that it was due to hormones.

They said that it would stop when I got pregnant but again, those didn't stop either. I'm now back to work after my maternity leave. I work in an IT company with an open office for 200 employees, so when you come inside, it's all computers as far as the I can see, which is a lot of dust due to the poor building ventilation system. So in order to reduce dust, at least on my desk, I have a very small and silent vacuum, and I just clean my desk every morning. Recently, a colleague of mine, Tom, who's 35, started to give me snarky comments about how I'm overreacting and I have OCD, and I should just go to therapy and maybe take

some leave. I politely thanked him for being concerned about my mental health, but I'm not overreacting, but rather following my allergy protocol. I didn't give him any more details because I don't think it's any concern of his. We aren't close and I purely see him as my colleague so business only. I also asked him to stop this behavior because it makes me feel uncomfortable as if I should be ashamed of being allergic to things. Which I'm not, tons of people have the same issues. Unfortunately, the comments didn't stop. I asked several times for him to stop, and one day I felt like I had enough

an emailed HR explaining the situation. Well, the stuff really hit the fan, and the dude got a note saying one more complaint, even in word, and he's out. Well, now he's pissed and told me that I was overreacting and pulled a typical female move, and I could have just stopped with my BS and he would have stopped. I talked with my husband and he sides with me, saying that Tom is now gaslighting me. However, my friends and other colleagues are divided. Which got me thinking that maybe I took this way too far, and I should have taken anti-allergy pills in the morning to help me throughout the day. Parting me thinks that Tom is a misogynistic douchebag who just hates women, and if it weren't

for me, then some other coworker would end up as his target. So am I the butthole? Then the next day, OP posted an update. I did email HR again. After half an hour, Tom was summoned to a meeting with HR and the head of the office. I'm not sure exactly what was discussed, but he told everyone that he was resigning and he was let go as of today. His boss is pissed, but I've noticed a handful of other employees seem to be relieved.

So I do believe that many of you were right. Tom indeed had done something before and probably not only just once. You know what's funny to me is that Tom is angry at OP for pulling a typical female move, but by that logic isn't vacuuming a typical female move as well? Now to be clear, I'm not saying that women should be vacuuming or cleaning. I'm just saying, if you're going to be sexist against women and you see a woman vacuuming her desk, wouldn't you think, yes, all is right with the world. She's cleaning, hopefully she's cooking, and making babies as well, because that's the only thing women are good for. So by his own logic, why did he get

upset at her? Our next reddit post is from our slash parenting. I got a call last Friday that informed me that I apparently have a three year old sister and she got taken into custody by child protective services, I guess. And since I'm the only family they can find, if I take her in, then she won't have to go into the foster care system.

I've heard so many whores from others that I meet on the street about the system and I didn't want that, especially considering that she was removed from my mother and whatever guy she's with now. All I know is that she's three. I know her name and that she's scared and she needs to go to a lot of medical appointments

and therapy. I just got a call that a social worker is bringing her to me and checking out my apartment tomorrow, planning to do an emergency home study, which I passed. I was clear to take care of her until there's more legal stuff settled which allows for a more permanent placement. I have basically no stuff for kids. I have no idea what I'm going to do with a three-year-old.

Can I even afford this? Would a three-year-old eat or like to do? Apparently McDonald's is a hit still. Do I need diapers? Pull ups, I guess. I don't even know what I need to know. I'm freaking out. I don't even know her. Will she like me? I'm not sure if she'll like me. She doesn't trust me, that's for sure. But she also doesn't want to sleep in a room by herself. I've set up camp in front of her room's door for now. She likes my cab, and that traitor prefers to

cuddle with her over me. Here's what I need help with. How can I get her to relax? She's always tense and just, I mean, I don't know, but I want her to know that she's safe here. But mainly, how can I connect with her? She barely talks. Though, I don't know if that's because she can't or because she doesn't want to. Then OP posted an update. I looked on a few Facebook groups and I asked my landlady for help regarding clothes and toys. She's the one who helped me get off the street

and is sort of calling herself my fairy godmother. She asked her kids for things that they don't need anymore and she showed up with three rubber-made tote boxes of all kinds of clothes. I'm also getting some kids bidding sets and frozen costumes and furniture pieces from the Buy Nothing group.

I can't express how grateful I am for that tip. So instead of using that money to buy clothes, we went to Wal-Mart and got some food. She got to pick out the fruit, bread, and peanut butter and jelly that she wanted. Also some M&Ms. She also chose a Squish Marshmallow Stuffed Cat Unicorn thing that she'd just been hugging and squeezing. It was a little splurge, but at least I think I'm good on clothes and stuff. She passed out in the car and wasn't even woken up when I carried her in.

The caseworker is coming by tomorrow to talk about the whole financial aid stuff. I think both of our lives have taken a giant turn. I never expected to take care of a child this young. I was actually actively trying to avoid it, but I also understand how incredibly lucky I got to get off the street and away from that life, and I don't want her to have to go through this. My hope is that she'll never have to go back or remember it. Also, relevant details, I haven't talked to my mother in years. I ran away because my life was awful. My dad died when I was two or three, and my mother coped with alcohol and drugs.

We basically lived with whomever she could get money or drugs out of. I don't even know how she managed to not get pregnant while I lived with her. I ran away at the age of 15. I haven't talked to my mother since. I'm 21 now. I have a GED, a car, a job, and a cat. That stinker adopted me on the street. Right now, I live just a few hours

away from where that cat grew up. Then, OP posted another update. We've made some real progress. She's talking to me, she allows side hugs, and she loves coloring. She makes so many little pictures that are a gift for me or my landlady. I found so much support locally by reaching out to buy nothing groups. And I found some weekend mommy and me tumbling classes at a church here. It was a little awkward showing up there, but everyone was super welcoming and helpful. It's just some tumbling over mats and a balance beam, but she loves it, and I think it helped her build some trust in me.

She actually- oh god, this is rough today. She actually jumped into my arms from one of those stacked mattress towers after her third class. It's been hard reliving my childhood memories, and so much harder taking my sister to actually jumped into my arms from one of those stacked mattress towers after her third class. It's been hard reliving my childhood memories and so much harder taking my sister to doctors and therapy appointments to make sure that she'll be healthy and happy. So here's to her talking to me, trusting me enough to jump off a mattress tower to me, having an absolute meltdown because I picked the wrong shade of pink for her sippy cup,

making mom friends, and staying sober for another month. I was told that Tandrums are a sign that she trusts me, so I guess I had to include it on the list of victories over the last month. That was our Slash Bestive Editor updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. single day.