rSlash - r/Bestof I Messed Up So Badly My Entire Family HATES Me

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

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on the same points vet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino Welcome to R-Slash Best of Redditor Updates, where OPs systematically destroys every single important relationship he has in his life. Our next Reddit post comes from R-Slash Relationship Advice and the title is, How can I manage the resentment that my girlfriend and I have for each other? Um, oh okay, and OP lists their ages, OP is 42 and his girlfriend is 25.

What is that a 17 year age cap? Okie-dok. I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for the absurd age gap and the way that we started. And I agree, I deserve it, but I would really like some genuine advice past going to counseling. My wife won't agree to it and I can't afford it anyways. I need tangible things that I can work on and introduce to help us get through this, either as a couple or as effective co-parents. Long story short,

my ex-wife and I were together since middle school! We have four daughters in their teens. I was a stay-at-home dad and part-time worker for most of my life until my youngest was in middle school. My ex agreed to invest in a passion project business of mine. I hired a receptionist. We started an affair and she baby trapped me. Now we're living together and have a young son. Oh my god, this story is a train wreck! My receptionist girlfriend resents me because she feels like she was fooled. She saw me as a business owner who had a nice car, nice clothes, took her to nice places, etc. She thought I was rich, so she got pregnant on purpose, she admitted it, this was not an assumption, hoping to use me to not work and

sponsor her family from overseas. Well, actually, my ex-wife and her family are the rich ones. None of our homes were in our names. We were renting from her parents and giving them a nominal fee with the expectations that these homes would be left to my ex and me after their death. This allowed my ex's salary, which is $150,000 to stretch, and we lived a really good life. I left our marriage with half our savings, about $25,000 and my personal property and car. I lost my business due to lack of funding and I did not seek alimony. I resent my girlfriend because I feel like I was fooled. I thought she loved me and I couldn't believe the interest that a young, hot woman showed in me.

My girlfriend was incredibly persistent and pursued me strongly, but she has no feelings for me, no care or desire. Now that the Rooz is dropped, I can't believe I gave up my entire life for what I see now was an ego trip. I loved my ex-wife, really, I did and still do, but I had never been with another woman, and any attempts to open our relationship were shot down. This was like a wet dream come true, and I was weak. Now both me and my girlfriend are in a place that we didn't imagine.

She's living in a sucky apartment with an old man and still has to work. I've lost my kids, the love of my life, my family, my lifestyle, my business, and it's all 100% my own fault. My girlfriend stopped being intimate with me as soon as she found out that I wasn't rich. I'm still with her because I feel like I need to have something to show for this awful situation. At least I got a son and a partner out of it, so at least it wasn't for nothing. And also, because I don't trust her with our son.

She would never agree to give me full custody, and she's not a good mother. I would be worried for his safety and the people that she would have him around. I honestly don't know why she hasn't left me. What can I do to improve the situation? I know logically it would be best to break up and co-parent, but I'm afraid for my son and I'm embarrassed for myself. Is there a way to salvage this situation? I'm thinking of just telling her that we can have an open relationship. She can sleep with whomever she wants and go wherever she wants as long as she lives

here so I can have my son 100% of the time. I work from home. I don't know if that's the answer here though. Then about a week later, OP posts an update because people have been asking OP how their kids deal with this situation and OP explains. My oldest daughter with my ex-wife is hung up on the fact that I now have a young son. Every firstborn in each generation in my family has been a boy for a long time and my oldest daughter broke that streak.

I honestly couldn't care less about that. I've always thought that pressure was stupid, and I'm not a traditionally masculine guy who always wanted a boy. But my daughter is so hurt that I have a son now, and she's convinced that that's all I've ever wanted, and he's replaced her and my daughters. But none of that is true. All of my daughters have said that they don't consider themselves to have a brother and they want nothing to do with him. My ex-wife and my three daughters feel betrayed and they blame me for breaking up our family. I deserve the blame, it's my fault and I take responsibility. But I can't change the past and I don't know how I can begin making

up for it. My ex has full custody of them, but I'm supposed to have visitation one week into month. Does anyone have any suggestions about what I can do here? My ex absolutely hates me, but was always supportive of the girl staying in contact with me. She's respected their wishes, but still gives me updates once in a while. My oldest daughter is turning 18 soon and graduating this coming year, and probably moving away for university. I feel like the time to make up with her especially is slipping away. I know that I'm a terrible person here. I was a terrible husband, but honestly, I was a really good dad and I miss my girls.

Has anyone been through something like this? How did it turn out? What are your suggestions? Then about two months later, OP post an update. Good news, my girlfriend and I have broken up. She's gone back to her home country and left my son with me. She refused to sign any formal custody agreements, so I'm hoping she stays there and doesn't bother us again.

I'm pretty sure that if she comes back in demand demands time with him, I have a good case for maintaining custody. She's not even interested in FaceTiming with him so he remembers her. I feel bad that my son will deal with an absent mother, but I hope I can get him into therapy as he grows. The bad news, I've tried my best to insist on visitation with my daughters, and that's fallen through. They absolutely refuse to see me. They wrote me a letter together that says how much they hate me, how betrayed they feel, how they'll never forgive me, and how my son will never be their brother. To not even bother telling him about them because they'll never be interested in knowing him,

just to forget about them all together and move on with my new family. I have no legal recourse. The youngest is 13 now, old enough to have a sane custody arrangements, and I don't think forcing them to see me would do me any favors long term anyways. They also included pictures of their mother's wedding. My ex has no obligation to tell me about her personal life, me any favors long term anyways. They also included pictures of their mother's wedding. My ex has no obligation to tell me about her personal life, but I'm pretty pissed that there's a man living with my daughters that I didn't know about. It's a family friend who's been in their lives for 10 plus years, so not a total stranger, but still, I'm

hurt to see pictures of their recent wedding and family pictures with my daughters. They mention that they have a father figure and don't need me anyways. This whole thing really hurts. I know that I have no right to feel hurt that my ex moved on after I cheated on her. But their whole relationship has moved very fast, so now I'm wondering if they started it before we got divorced. There's no way to know, and it doesn't matter anyways. My ex agreed to keep me up to date and send pictures of my daughters once in a while.

After dealing with my son's mom, I'm grateful that my ex-wife is so good to our girls, and I don't have to worry about their well-being. I'm trying to focus on being a good dad to my son and patiently waiting for my girls to grow up and reach out. It may never happen, but I'm hopeful that they will understand me more as they become adults and gain context for life.

The top comment of that post comes from Ice Star Wind, man ruined his whole life to get his dick wet for 5 minutes. And the top post from R-slash Best of Redditor updates comes from Little Cream Soda, and they say, the grass is greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit. Yeah, I wish I could have sympathy for you OP, but I don't. Your wife was the love of your life, your meal ticket because she was funding your lifestyle. And you had three daughters and you decided to cheat on your wife. Oh man, Hopi, you've ruined your life but I guess you already know that so you don't need me piling on your case as well. Good luck, I guess. I hope your son has a good life.

Our next reddit post comes from R-slash-true off my chest. My sister is infertile, and I'm glad. I'm a 28 year old woman, and I have an older sister, Angela, who's 30 whom I've never liked. She always had to compete with me, but never in a normal sibling rivalry way. Our entire life, she always seemed resentful of my existence, because the spotlight couldn't perpetually shine on her. So she had to step on everything that I enjoyed.

For example, if I learned piano, she had to learn piano. If I excelled at a subject, she suddenly became a scholar in it. If I told my mom that I had a crush, Angela would be dating that boy in a week. I would always tell my parents when she did this, but I was disregarded because sisters copy each other and I can't gatekeep what she likes. She always monitored what activities I did and the clothes I wore so that she could outdo me. If I wore a flannel, Angela would come to school wearing an all flannel dress.

It was 2010 and flannel was peak fashion at our school. There was also more praise that followed Angela, even if I took the initiative to begin the activity first, she was praised because she was better. My parents would miss work to attend her dance recitals, going to every single one because the world would stop if they missed it. However, I remember maybe two of mine they attended because they were stuck at work or otherwise preoccupied.

Angela reveled in this. She would make comments under her breath around our parents. Whenever our parents weren't around, she'd tell us how much she hated me and how I should stop trying because I would always come second to her. She also physically bullied me in school. Angela purposely tripped me through things at me and hit me in the hallways on a nearly

daily basis. The school had gotten involved multiple times, threatening Angela with suspension, and my parents fought it every time. My parents repeatedly told administration that this was a family matter, and we were just bickering like normal sisters. She was never once reprimanded by either parent. One time, Angela was caught impaling a cat on a school fence, and my parents still defended her, saying that this was normal teenage behavior. I often got in trouble because Angela would start crying, saying how she was targeted by the school when I antagonized her. After one of these occasions, Angela

cut and bruised herself to prove to dad that I was the aggressor. I became a pariah due to Angela's malicious rumors about me. So, it was difficult for me to make friends. I resorted to only befriending people from other districts. Angela eventually made sure that I had nobody by stalking them, befriending them, and then telling all my friends lies about how I was favored by our parents and constantly bullied and belittled her. She even stole my boyfriends while doing this, convincing them that I was horribly mean and an awful person who copied her every move.

Once she catfished me on my space for four months and baited me in descending her nudes, which she proceeded to send to my parents and everyone in school, including teachers. Later on, she told one of the boys I liked that those were actually her pictures and I had catfished her. The day of my high school graduation, my mom sat me down and told me that Angela revealed the horrid abuse she'd suffered at my hands and I was no longer welcome in their home. After moving out the next day, my parents made very few attempts to communicate with me,

only the occasional holiday and birthday text. All financial aid was also abruptly ended as soon as I stepped foot on campus. I met my now husband shortly after this, and we were married within a year. My family didn't feel inclined to attend my wedding, or even congratulate me. I told my parents when I had my first child 8 years ago as a way of opening contact, but they may no attempt to contact or meet any of my 3 children. From what I heard about Angela, she got married to one of the boyfriend she stole from

me in high school, and she's been posting about her infertility issues and how she can't offer my parents their first grandbaby. After years of silence, I received a text at 8 a.m. this morning for my mother, which I'll copy and paste below. Hey OP, it's me, your mama. We haven't talked in a while, and I surely miss you terribly. I wanted to let you know that your sister just had a miscarriage earlier this week.

Angela and her husband are struggling a lot right now. Since something a little sweet her way, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Get back to me, I love you. I hate to say it, but I'm glad she's suffering. I'm glad that she doesn't get to be a mother. If she tormented me for years, what would she do to a child? especially a girl? I don't wish death on any baby, but I know in my heart that that child would be damaged by her. I'm angry at my parent expecting me to have any sense of obligation to her. I don't even have any sense of obligation to them. They've always believed her and dismissed me.

I have always been the problem child, and it's strange how my mother can be so warm to me when asking me to do something for my sister. Also, the fact that they cared more about my sister's now dead fetus than my actual children who wonder why they only have one set of grandparents. I feel some kind of guilt for it, but I refuse to offer any condolences to my destructive narcissistic sister, who's been justified in her bad behavior since birth. Maybe this will change her, help her develop empathy, or any type of emotion that isn't hate or vindictiveness.

If that happens, I would be more than willing to offer support. But until then, I feel nothing but a small inkling of happiness that she's hurt. Am I awful for this? And then OP posted an update. Basically, OP thanks everyone for the support, and then she explains that she decided to block everyone, including her parents. Then OP received the following text message from her cousin, who often hangs out with OP's family. For context in this post, Aunt Kathy is Opie's mom, but keep in mind the cousin is writing this so from the cousin's perspective this is Aunt Kathy. The message reads, Angela kept calling Opie an abusive in grade because she

wouldn't talk to Aunt Kathy. Aunt Kathy said they need to start inviting Opie to family events so that she could come around to being a surrogate. It got weird real quick because Angela said that she wants to use O.P.'s husband sperm. That way, her kid will be tall and have blue eyes. Then, Aunt Kathy was saying how they just need to be around her for like a year, then they can cut her off again or whatever. Angela kept saying that O.P. is the only way that she can have kids because she doesn't want to raise somebody's trash baby. OP continues, reading those messages makes me want a hurl. Do they think my uterus is some kind of fish hatchery that can be bought

with some kind words and casserole? It's nice to know that Angela is too much of a narcissistic douchebag to adopt though. I'm officially done with every single one of them. If they try to come around me, I'll get a restraining order before they can even darken my doorstep. Between the weak conspiracy they've come up with to try to use me like a baby bargain bin and the nasty words they continue to speak about me, I will no longer claim to have a family outside of the one that I've created. I'm sorry this is difficult to read, but reading that again just got me so worked up. Okay, so I don't know too much about the like medical psychology of what makes a narcissist a narcissist, but the thing that I've heard many many times is that narcissists aren't

born, they're made. So OP, that means that your sister wasn't born rotten, your parents made her rotten. Like your sister killed a cat and they said that's normal teenage behavior. Yeah, you guys remember what it's like to be a teenager, murdering pets, I guess? What are you gonna do? It's just teenagers being teenagers. Alright, I don't know about you guys, but I managed to make it from the age of 13 to the age of 19 without killing a single cat.

Mine, actually my entire life from the age of zero to my current age now, I've never killed a cat, never killed a dog, because that's psychotic. It's super clear from this post, OP, that your parents are enabling all of her toxic behaviors. And because she gets enabled and enabled and enabled, they just get worse and worse. So cutting them off is definitely your best call OP.

That was our slash best of redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. every single day.