rSlash - r/Bestof I Think My Boyfriend Sticks Butter Up His Tushy

Episode Date: January 18, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:11 Butter 5:50 Signs 11:34 Name mix up 14:08 Stolen card 16:27 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates, where OP's boyfriend engages in mysterious butter activities. Our next reddit post is from r slash relationship advice. I've been dating my boyfriend for two years and we finally moved in together. Ever since we moved in, I've seen a new side of him. It's a very odd issue and I can't wrap my head around what to do. At first, I started to notice Butter was disappearing quickly. I assumed that maybe I lost track of how much we had or maybe he was cooking when I wasn't around. I don't know. But one night, a few weeks ago, I saw him try to stealthily take a stick of butter

from the fridge, which I pretended not to notice, and he took the butter with him into the bathroom. Now, I've noticed my boyfriend's, I'm sorry, I don't even know where this story is going, and it's already super funny to me. Now, I've noticed my boyfriend's spending an hour or more of time in the bathroom since we moved in, but I never saw him take the butter before. I was so confused. When he came out of the bathroom about an hour later, I saw no sign of the

butter, but I also saw that he did not put the butter back in the fridge. It was gone. I tried to subtly keep an eye on him and over the week he did this three separate times and each time a stick of butter disappeared. Finally I said one day, where'd all our butter go? I hardly used any this week and it's gone. He pretended to not know and said maybe we forgot to buy it. I said no, we had four sticks before and now they're gone. He just acted like it was a mystery and said, guess we should order up some groceries. By now I'm getting very confused.

So I ordered groceries and made a point of saying, good to finally have four sticks of butter. This should last us quite a while. He made no comment. On the first two days, whenever I used a small amount of butter, I would remark about how much butter we had left. Finally, one day, I saw him do it again. He took a stick of butter into the bathroom, was gone for an hour or so, and came back with no butter.

I couldn't believe it. So when I made dinner, I acted shocked that one stick of butter was gone. He said, maybe we only have three. But he knew that I had been making a point of it. The very next day, another stick of butter, gone. I listened at the bathroom door and heard sink water running and I thought that I heard moaning noises. I was so confused. Finally, this time when he came out, I said I know that he's been taking butter into the bathroom. He got all flustered and said I must be mistaken but I said I literally saw him take butter

into the bathroom and then come out without it and that I know he's been lying to me about the quantity of butter in our fridge. He then started apologizing for misleading but said, let's not talk about it. And when he saw that I was getting mad, he said, what if I just order my own separate private butter? I was like, uh, okay, but what are you doing with the butter? He asked me to promise him to never ask about his butter activities again and to just put it behind us.

He said, just look the other way on this one thing and stressed how it's not a big deal at the end of the day. I was like, uh, okay, I guess. But I've been so confused and even disturbed about it. Like what is he doing with the butter? Why is he lying about it? Why won't he tell me? I don't even think he's eating it because he's not an overweight guy and I feel like

if somebody ate that much butter they'd become hefty, but he's showing no signs of it. I'm just like, who is this guy? Am I overreacting? It's just so odd to see him in a different light and I'm not sure what to do. Should I just ignore it? One day later, OP posted an update. You guys have any guesses? If I do a shot in the dark, I'd say he is pleasuring himself with that as lubrication,

but that's just a guess. Let's see where this goes. This morning I said, look, yes, you should buy private personal butter for your activities. But I said that I need to know what you do with the butter. He got very quiet and then said, fine, I'll tell you just this once. And he told me. He told me everything. I was so mortified and confused.

I can't tell you what it is, but I will say that it is a sensual activity. Extremely sensual. It is definitely an inappropriate use of butter. I can't even type what it is due to how graphic it is. On the one hand, it's just butter, but on the other, I can no longer see him the same way. I'm staying at my parents. To make matters worse, a friend of his found my other post and sent it to him saying, Whoa, this must be about you. I guess he used to do it in college too. And he's furious. And now other people I know in real life know what he does with the butter.

He's angry at me for exposing his butter-based proclivities. Now I've ruined my relationship and everyone knows my business, causing me shame and humiliation. I can't believe what he does with the butter though and I don't think I can be with somebody who does things like that. I consider it a momentous screw up for me to ever confront him about this, which is my mistake, because I can never unknow what I know. Alright, straight to the comments, I have got to know what people are thinking happens with the butter. Well, it seems like the two most common responses are either he uses it as lube, which is my guess obviously, or he sticks it up the pooper, which is also quite possible. Maybe both? Maybe one, then the other?

Our next Reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. Should I go for it with my brother's girlfriend if she's giving me all the signs? My little brother's name is Cody and his girlfriend is Sandra. This is so f-ing messy. I'm pretty close with my brother, but I honestly feel that he doesn't deserve his girlfriend. So my brother and his girlfriend came to stay at our grandma's house for the week that they have off. They've been here for five days. They won't leave for 3 more days and it's killing me. My little brother is not the best looking guy in the family. He's just not. Since he started seeing Sandra, he's gone to the gym and bulked up a bit and changed

his hair and eating habits. Not because she forced him, she loved him even when he was chubby. He said that he wanted to start working out and eating better to get to the same level of attractiveness as her. Me and my best friend, a girl, both agreed beforehand that she is very good looking. Sandra and Cody came to visit my grandmother and I was there because I'm currently living with her. Not only is Sandra ridiculously hot, but she's funny and smart too. She's pre-med and is taking a lot of hard classes that Cody says she's breezing through. She's the world's easiest person to talk to. The first night she came to visit she was quiet, as this was the first time meeting extended family for her. The next day, Cody had a migraine and she

wanted to stay home with him and take care of him. But I convinced her to go to the mall with me and Cody encouraged her to. We spent the day at the mall together. We played with puppies at a store and shopped a bit and got lunch. I don't think I've ever gotten along with someone as well as I've gotten along with Sandra. She's beautiful, witty and basically my ideal partner. I've quickly developed strong feelings for her. It gets really messy from here. Cody was showing me some memes on his phone and accidentally swiped to a nude of hers. He thought I wasn't looking, but I did manage to see it. I know this is really bad, but when he got up to go to the bathroom, I unlocked his phone

and looked at it. I couldn't help myself. I've already mentioned that I think she's hot, so I won't go into detail about how I felt about the picture because it's probably obvious. After this incident, I think people started noticing me becoming uncomfortable near her. My brother, my mom, and my grandma asked me about it. Eventually, Sandra asked me if she had done anything to offend me and I said no. I came to my senses and stopped acting like a douche. I asked if Sandra wanted to go to

the grocery store with me and she said sure. I thought it would be just the two of us, but Cody tagged along as well. We went to the grocery store with me and she said sure. I thought it would be just the two of us, but Cody tagged along as well. We went to the grocery store together, went back, and ended up driving to the city in the afternoon, which is an hour from where we live. Cody fell asleep in the car and again it was Sandra and me talking. She ended up climbing from the back seat to the front to talk to me. We talked and joked the whole way into the city, and I just knew something was there. I did something stupid and told her that I wished we'd met in high school, and she replied

that she thinks we would have been best friends. Ouch. However, once we reached the city, she was back to being lovey-dovey with Cody. It sucked because I wanted to hold her hands so bad. I think they felt bad for me because yesterday was Valentine's Day and I don't have a girlfriend so they didn't kiss or anything. They just looked at each other like they're in love. My questions are the following. I know she can tell that we have a good connection, so should I go for it? I really want to tell her my feelings this evening.

What's the best way to do that? Thanks. Yo, what signs? What signs is this dude talking about? That they had a nice time at the mall together? Of course she wants to make a good impression on your family. That she crawled into the front seat to talk to you? Of course she did that! Not to talk to you, you doofus! But so she didn't wake up her boyfriend! You moron! Please tell me he doesn't go for it. February 15th to the 20th...

Okay, five days later OP posted an update. So against reddits, and my better judgement, I spoke to my brother. As you can imagine, all hell broke loose. The guilt was eating me up and I told him about the feelings that I had for his girlfriend. I also came clean about looking at her nudes and apologized profusely. This was about three hours ago. My brother punched me in the face and busted my lip. He went to our grandma and told her that he didn't feel comfortable with me in the house.

My poor grandma was so confused and Cody told her vaguely that I acted inappropriately with Sandra and violated her boundaries. He went into Sandra's room and asked her to pack her things so they could leave and find a hotel. All I could hear was her saying, What? Why? What's wrong?

He took her and left to stay in Atlanta, promising my grandma that he would call and explain when he got there. He just called her via her landline and they'll be getting lunch tomorrow. I received a text from Sandra about a half hour ago. She said, Honestly, this is ridiculous that I even have to say this. You violated Cody's trust and my trust. Those pictures weren't meant for your eyes. I love your brother, not you. It's never going to happen. You've ruined any possible friendship we could have. I'm not angry, but

I can't forgive this. And I believe you need therapy. Good luck, OP. I hope you get the help that you need. I'm sitting here bawling in bed while my grandma knocks on the door to ask what's wrong. Reddit, what do I do? What are the steps to fix things with my brother? How do I apologize to Sandra? What do I tell my poor grandmother? I'm looking through OP's comments and he's trying to defend all the signs, so many signs, and he says, but there's more, I swear. She bats her eyelashes and she won't see me unless she puts on her makeup.

It honestly feels like this is the first encounter this guy's ever had with a woman other than his dear old grandma. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 25 year old woman and I ruined a romantic weekend with my boyfriend, Mike who's 23, and he said that he needs space. He hasn't texted me in two days. Is my relationship done? Mike and I booked a very nice hotel for last weekend in the city and we were planning to enjoy it together as we've been dating for 6 months.

We were doing the deed on Saturday and it just got really intense. He started dirty talking and I did too and during the act he said OP I effing love you. I don't know why but I said my ex's name instead. Oh Adam I love you too. I love when you passionately hug me. I know, I made a big mistake because their names are really different. I don't know what I was thinking. I probably wasn't at the time. It's worse because Mike and I actually ran into Adam a week or two ago, but Mike is much more good looking and better in bed, so I know it's not an insecurity of his. When I said it, Mike literally got off of me, started putting his clothes on and told

me he needed space. He started packing his things even though we had two more nights booked at this super expensive hotel. I got a little upset and tried to hug him and bring him back, but he just pushed me back onto the bed and said to leave him alone. Since then, I texted him a long apology, but he hasn't replied to me in two days. He didn't even read my message. What should I do?

He's been so good to me and I can't bear to lose him now. Then two weeks later, OP posted an update. He texted me later that day saying he's unsure of being in a relationship even though it was a mistake. Then a couple of days ago, he wanted to meet for coffee. It was very short. I've been texting my ex since we ran into him. But that's just because it was getting closer to the holidays and I wanted to catch up,

all platonic. Mike asked if I was still talking to Adam since we ran into him and I said yes. He basically told me that, oh my god, that that was the first time he said, I love you. And to hear me say someone else's name back was unforgivable. And then he emphasized the rest as if I didn't already know that it was a mistake. He didn't care for any apology and said that he hopes I don't make the same mistake with my next boyfriend. Six months gone because I mixed up a name. Happy holidays.

OP, I can't even begin to feel sad for you here. The update made this post SO much worse. How do you not understand how badly you screwed up, OP? It's almost like you're gas lighting yourself. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash credit score. My ex and I broke up last year. She wanted to go out constantly and I did not. Our lifestyles just weren't compatible. She lived at my house and I didn't make her pay anything as I make significantly more than her. What really sucked was that if she really wanted to, she could have essentially squatted in my house for months while I'd have to file eviction papers. In the end, I paid for an apartment deposit and first month's rent on a place for her. I hadn't spoken with her at all until a week ago when I got a collection notice in the mail. In the end, I paid for an apartment deposit and first month's rent on a place for her.

I hadn't spoken with her at all until a week ago when I got a collection notice in the mail. The credit card I literally don't use and only had for emergencies was maxed out and charged off. When I looked into it, I found that it had been maxed out by March of this year. When I downloaded the statements, it was all fast food, Victoria's Secret, and grocery stores. Also, the card was missing. I texted my girlfriend asking her about it, and she called me and said that she did it because I left her with basically nothing

and she needed to get back on her feet. She then said that I was lucky she didn't sue me for emotional distress. I hung up because she's literally sued coworkers twice and got settlements both times. I'm thinking of just going to the cops and letting them deal with her. My credit score has dropped about 200 points in a year. Any other advice I might be missing? Then OP posts an update where he says that he filed a police report. Then two months later, we get this update. I heard back from the investigator on my case on Friday. He did a remarkable job from what it sounds like. She confessed to him that she only used my credit card for essentials and then said she also used it at Victoria's Secret. She was charged with felony credit card fraud and has to get a

public defender. Since she's never been in legal trouble before, she's been offered 12 months probation. I also got an order of protection against her, which she didn't contest. The final ruling is supposed to go through at the start of January, but the investigator said that it's basically a done deal. I'm alright with how it turned out. Probation is probably a pretty big deal for her. I know something like that would absolutely get me fired from my job and drastically alter my life. The charge off was removed from my credit reports and my score is back above 760. I appreciate everyone's advice. The top comment from ComingInTheNile. Committing a felony sure is a great way to get back at your ex, especially a felony that can easily be traced back to you. Wish my ex had done that instead of screwing her way into my friend group.

That was our slash best of Redditor updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.