rSlash - r/Bestof Mess with Me? I'll Get You Deported!

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:10 Deported 12:05 Allergy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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deported. Our next Reddit post is from R-slash relationships. My wife and I have been together for eight years, and we have no kids. Basically, all of this began when my brother and sister-in-law moved back to our home country, after they'd been living in my sister-in-law's country. Prior to that, my wife, Emma, didn't have any issue with my sister-in-law. My wife and sister-in-law are both from the states, but my wife has been living with me in my home country since we got married. My brother and sister-in-law are what some people might call free-spirited. My sister-in-law is from Portland and is very hipster. They both smoke regularly, something I don't have an issue with, but I don't feel like getting involved with either. My wife has no issues with drugs or drug use, but she can't stand how

much my brother and sister-in-law talk about pot whenever we see them. Six months ago, my wife decided to finish her master's degree and was offered an opportunity to do a semester abroad. Coinciding with that time, my brother and sister-in-law moved back here permanently. However, from what I understand, my sister-in-law is technically still on a tourist visa, which has since expired. And I'm not really sure what's going on with the whole paperwork process. They seem to be bad at planning. My sister-in-law has mentioned before that she wants to have a kid with my brother because she would not only get paid maternity leave here, but it would cement her staying. She told my wife this over Facebook messages as well. When my wife left to do her semester abroad and my brother and sister-in-law moved in, we hung out a lot more.

At first, my wife was cool with it and would say hi, but things changed when my brother and sister-in-law invited me on a road trip to Sweden, something that my wife has always wanted to do with me, but we never got around to. After that, my wife became short in her answers whenever I said I was hanging out with them. She began to make subtle comments about my sister-in-law, and the more I saw them, the more vicious the comments got. As a result, I didn't go out with my brother so much when I knew that my sister-in-law would be there. I love my brother, but honestly, he takes a lot of energy to be around, so it's not something I really minded that much. However, things came to a head when both my sister-in-law and wife entered the same. same photo competition. My wife entered first and then my sister-in-law saw her post and entered two days

after. Then she and my sister-in-law engaged in petty, childish, subtle Facebook statuses about each other, always masked as someone or this person. My wife was pissed and I took the opportunity to ask her what was going on between her and my sister-in-law. She basically told me that she resented how my sister-in-law got to see me all the time now, and how she feels inadequate compared to her because my sister-in-law does all the cooking, and I'm the one who cooks in our marriage. My sister-in-law is also Asian, and I made the mistake of telling my wife that I had a thing for Asian girls back when I was 20, and everything Japanese was all trendy. She was also upset that I had gone to brother and sister-in-law's wedding without her, while she had been abroad during her bachelor's degree. She also's afraid that I'm going to start

smoking again because of them. I was told her it was not something I was interested in, because Pot mostly makes me paranoid and depressed. She also brought up that she hates how I talk trash about my brother and sister-in-law, mostly about their need to constantly talk about smoking, or some of their very out-there ideas about things, but that I act perfectly fine to their faces. She said she feels like I'm placating her by saying that my sister-in-law is annoying, but I still go see her. She said it makes her feel like I'll lie to fit the situation, and that bothers her. Well, I haven't seen my brother or sister-in-law for a few weeks now, and my wife and I are back to normal. She came home, and we were having a good time seeing all our other friends.

She didn't even bat an eyelash when I said some of the guys had invited me out for a guy's night. All was good. Then last week, my brother called me and asked me if I wanted to hang out. He sounded pretty high to me, and I told him no. Emma casually asked what was up, and I told her. She got a bit quiet, then shrugged, and went back to doing whatever. About 10 minutes afterwards, she said she was going to take the dog for a walk and run to the shop to get some vegetables for dinner. This is what actually went down.

She went outside, called the police anonymously, and said that she was a concerned neighbor, and could smell marijuana coming from my brother's flat. The police came, my brother and sister-in-law were arrested and fined. However, when they went to pull up my sister-in-law's profile to record the incident, they discovered her expired tourist visa. She had to be transferred to a sort of holding facility for people who are in queue for being deported. Now there's a whole shitstorm happening. My brother is beyond upset, and the family is shocked. This isn't something that can be worked around, as one, marijuana is illegal in this country,

and two, she was on an expired visa, and they didn't file the correct paperwork for her to, live here legally. So if she's deported, she may face a five to ten year ban. This means either the end of their marriage, or my brother will need to figure out how to move back to the U.S. with her. The thing is, no one knows it was my wife except me, and she doesn't even sound the least bit remorseful. We had a huge fight about it, and she stood by her decision, saying that if my sister-in-law was that stupid to do illegal drugs, as well as not have her papers in order, then it was, was on her. If I'm being honest, I don't care so much about my sister-in-law being deported, but I do care that my wife felt so threatened by her that she went to this length. She is the

type to make subtle remarks and be frosty, but she's never done anything close to this before. So now I'm in a real bind. I don't know what to do. I definitely cannot tell the family. And I don't really feel the obligation to anyway, but I can't just let this slide. I need to impress upon her that she's potentially ruined a marriage all in an effort to remove somebody she finds annoying from our lives. Someone we don't even have to see every day. Then the next day, O.P. posted an update. First, my sister-in-law is on a flight out tomorrow. There's nothing that can be done at the moment to keep her here. She has a stamp on her passport that says, expelled and a 10-year ban. The immigration officer my brother spoke to said that it's possible for the ban to,

be reduced, but that's the current official time given. The American Embassy was also notified about this. My brother is a wreck. He was able to briefly visit my sister-in-law in the holding facility, and she gets to call him twice a day, but that's it. They don't know when it'll be possible to see each other again, or where. If he's unable to go to the United States because of his arrest, they may agree to meet in a mutual country. My sister-in-law has family in the Philippines, so that might be an option for them. Many of you told me to tell him what my wife had done. But honestly, in his current state of mind, I just can't do it. It would be the actual tipping point for him.

I know that this probably means I'll have to either never tell him, or except that when I do, it'll completely destroy our relationship. Secondly, I did tell one family member. My mother came to visit to discuss my sister-in-law's deportation, and I ended up telling her what my wife Emma did. She was furious and she insisted that the both of us talked to my wife. Well, my wife and I had already agreed to have a long talk today about the matter and what this meant for us. I felt a little more grounded having my mother there.

Then things just took a freak turn. My wife sat down, seemed really calm. She let my mom say what she wanted and just sort of sat there nodding and had her hands folded. When my mom was done talking, my wife pulled out her phone and handed it to my mom. She showed her messages from my sister-in-law on Facebook, telling my wife how she planned to have a baby in order to stay and get paid maternity leave. My mom is extremely sensitive to this sort of thing because her own mother used her as a pawn, so to speak, many times when she was a child. Mostly to get money from the state. So my mother went from being extremely angry at my wife to actually siding with her.

She said that it was better this way because my sister-in-law's motives for having a baby were. misguided and that she couldn't believe my brother was going to go along with this. So with my mom on her side, my wife began to lay out my sister-in-law's shortcomings and how, and how she was creating a toxic environment that would drag us down and any potential child they would have had. She also said that it was unfair how she had to go through the process of paperwork before coming here, and my sister-in-law was resting on her laurels and scheming to cheat the system, something that really pissed my mom off. Valid points, all of them. However, I was not going to let it slide that she obviously had ulterior motives such as being jealous of my sister-in-law. I asked her if she would

have done any of this if my sister-in-law and my brother weren't spending so much time with me. If my sister-in-law wasn't cooking dinners for me, taking photos, or entering the same competition as her, she admitted that all these things definitely contributed, but only served to underline the disdain she already had. I told her that no matter how you cut it, she had effectively ended their marriage. My mom decided to jump in and say that my sister-in-law and brother were at fault because they didn't get their situation in order.

I will admit, her point about her being afraid that I was going to be implicated along with my sister-in-law and brother when it comes to pot, I understand. That's a valid fear to have. They smoke almost every day. My brother almost always has something on him. But I know that these are solid excuses that are being used in conjunction to something else. I know that if my sister-in-law was some fat, ugly slob, my wife would have rolled her eyes and let them be. If my sister-in-law wasn't Asian, if she couldn't cook, if she didn't take pictures of us together for her Instagram,

my sister-in-law would just chalk her up as another annoying person who smokes too much for her taste, but was utterly harmless. And I know that if I had just gone to Sweden with my brother, that my wife wouldn't care. But because I went with the woman who was playing housewife to me, it was a serious offense in her head. I waited until my mom left to tell her all this. She didn't deny it. I also told her that this whole situation had let me see the side of her that honestly scared me. I told her I wanted to begin couples therapy together, or there was no hope of this continuing. She agreed, and we both began to research therapists in our area.

She apologized for not talking to me about calling before doing so, but she hasn't apologized about my sister-in-law being deported. She also said that if I wanted to tell my brother and sister-in-law that it was her, I could go ahead and do that, but I'm not going to. One, they're distraught enough. And two, it seems like her coming to claim victory one last time over my sister-in-law to her face. Well, O.P.'s wife is evil, or whatever you want to call it.

His brother and sister-in-law are complete and utter lazy idiots, and O.P. is spineless. I don't really understand how O.P. can continue to be with the wife after discovering that she will happily, joyfully, destroy the lives of someone that you care about. All for some petty little pointless revenge. This is genuinely psychopathic behavior. I know that word gets thrown around a lot pretty haphazardly, but I, I, I, I, it's, It does seem like something an actual psychopath would do. Our next Reddit post is from R slash true off my chest. When I met my husband and we started dating, he told me that he was deathly allergic to a certain food.

We avoided certain restaurants on dates. He was always careful what he ordered when we ate out. And the first time I cooked for him, I purged that food from my apartment and basically sterilized my kitchen. He showed me his epipin and explained how to use it. When we moved in together, we made sure there was one in the house.

one in the car, and I always had one in my purse. My family knows, and they avoid using that food at family events, and my husband is still extra careful about what he eats. Last weekend for my brother's birthday, my sister-in-law made dinner. One of my nephews has an allergy, though it's a different allergy from my husband, and my sister-in-law is very diligent about keeping him and my husband safe. She gave us two Tupperware dishes of leftovers, and the one for my husband had a different colored lid. When my husband ate the wrong leftovers, both me and my sister-in-law panicked. My husband said that even having his food prepared with utensils that touched the food he's allergic to would be enough to give him a deadly reaction. He told me stories of it happening

as a kid, but he ate the wrong dish of leftovers and nothing happened. He confessed to me and my family that he was never allergic. He just doesn't like that particular food. And when he went to university, he started saying he was allergic because that was better than looking like a picky eater. His mom died before I met him, his parents were divorced, and until he was an adult, he didn't see his dad lots because his dad lives in another province. So his dad, his friends, and even his own family thought that he was allergic. The panic I felt when I thought he ate something that would kill him is something I could never describe. My sister-in-law thought that she did kill him. I can't believe he's been lying.

since the day I met him. I just need to get off my chest how furious I am at him right now. Then, four years later, O.P. posted an update. The long and short of it is that we're in marriage counseling. Yeah, and I'm not trying to sound dramatic. When the situation with the leftovers happened, my husband apologized to me for making me panic and for his lying. He admitted to being a picky eater, and while a lot of people were upset with him, I thought that was the end of it. I tried to let it go, even though it bothered me how he went so far as to carry an epipen for an allergy he doesn't have. But that wasn't the only lie, and I've been floundering. He lied about receiving a scholarship for university for athletics and then losing it because he got injured.

He's never been recruited for a sport. He applied to university the regular way and took student loans like most other people do. He lied about spending a season working in Antarctica before we met. He's never even been there. He lied about restoring an old automobile. He bought it fully restored, but when he goes to car shows, he says he did it all himself.

There's a million other things, and it's basically been a bomb in our relationship. I know and have proof there are things he didn't lie about. His mom died from cancer before we met. His dad does live in another province, and wasn't involved in his life. He has a law degree and works as a lawyer. My husband's excuse is that he lies

so he can feel better about himself, and that's why he doesn't lie about big things, like his dad not being involved in his life growing up. For about a year and a half after the leftover situation, things were normal, even if people couldn't understand why he lied about an allergy. Then more lies came out. I haven't left because we have a five-year-old. We're in counseling because we're both children of divorce, and I don't want that for my son.

My family and friends say I should leave, but I'm trying to work on my marriage for my son's sake. I'm floundering. That's basically what's going on and where I'm at right now. I can sympathize with O.P. For wanting to save her marriage, that's like a commendable desire, I think. But how could you even stay in a relationship with someone when you can't trust a single word out of their mouth?

I mean, even something as simple as, hey, I'm going to the grocery store. Are you? Are you really? How can I possibly believe that when you lie, perpetually constantly every single day, every single second. Just I feel like that self-doubt and constant wondering would just drive me insane. That was our slash best of Redditor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.