rSlash - r/Bestof My 14-yo Daughter is Dating a 21-yo

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:11 Disgusting news 12:30 Superbowl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates where OP finds out that her 14 year old daughter is being groomed by a P word. Our next reddit post is from r slash parenting. My 14 year old daughter just came home with some disgusting news. I'm still very good friends with my childhood best friend. We grew up together. We were there through each other's relationships when we both married the loves of our lives. We were there for each other when we started having kids. Our families are very close.

She got married and had kids a while before I did, so she has older children, one of which is a 21-year-old college boy. I'm practically his aunt, and I know him very well. The past few days, I could tell that my daughter was in an unusual mood, but I didn't think much of it. Today, I go into her room and I see her crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she couldn't tell me and to go away.

I don't know why, but I got a really bad feeling about the situation and I asked to see her phone. She freaked out and started screaming at me. After a while, I got it out of her that she and this 21 year old man have been in contact, talking, texting, and calling for the past year. Wait, the past year that means he was 20 and she was 13. Yikes. My daughter was in eighth grade when this started.

My daughter gave me more details about the situation, and she said that this boy would encourage her to tell him her problems so they began to form a close relationship. He started telling her that he really loved her and saw her as a little sister, but told her to keep their relationship a secret from me and my best friend, his mom, and our families. Here's what I know about their relationship. He would video call her at night after everyone was asleep and they would talk into the night. He would often go on rants to her about how they can't have a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship now and my daughter wouldn't really know what to say.

She would just listen. He constantly talks to her about inappropriate things that I don't want her exposed to right now, such as his drinking habits in college and stuff like that. He talks to her about his problems and I see this as an issue because a lot of his problems in college are something that a 14-year-old doesn't need to know about. I don't mind her knowing about this stuff, but I would like her to be taught about it in a more responsible way. Apparently, his friend called her drunk one time and began to say explicit, inappropriate sexual things

about her and my best friend's son. For example, yo, suck his dick already, girl! I wanna vomit. Whenever we have family gatherings, we usually let all of our children hang out together and my friend's son joins them, and of course, we just assume that he's babysitting and watching over the younger kids. Apparently, at a gathering this weekend, he had taken my daughter aside and kissed her on the lips. This was her first kiss. He told her he has feelings for her, but they can't do anything right now. I am livid. My daughter feels like she might have feelings for him, but she's also shaking at the same time because she's uncomfortable.

Deep down, I know there's something inside of her telling her that it's not right, hence why she's so upset. She told me she feels like she likes him, but at the same time, she doesn't want him to come over anymore. I feel so sick. I feel like a terrible parent for letting this happen under my own roof. How could I have let this happen? There's so much more.

This is only a small portion of the stuff she's told me, but I think it pretty much sums up the relationship. I don't know what to feel right now. Part of me wants to go over to my friend's house right now and scream at her son. Obviously I'm not going to do that, but I really need some advice. I'm going to tell my husband later and I know that he's going to be extremely livid. I don't know what's gonna happen with me and my best friend either. At this point I don't know if I care about my relationship with her. I need to get some help from my daughter. OP shared a transcript between

her and this guy on what what is his Instagram. So for context, apparently the daughter blocked the boy and then the boy sent this message on another app. Sorry, I was just feeling lonely. I had a bad day. Can you shut the F up for like a minute ever? Everything's about you. I had a long effing day and I don't respond to your texts and you effing block me?

You're a piece of shit. Okay, I'll just disappear then. Unblock me or I'll effing ruin you. You're a dumb 8th grade B word. You don't want to mess with me. Okay, I unblocked you. Then OP posted an update. I told her to block all communication with the boy and she said that she would.

I checked in with her later to make sure that everything was blocked and thankfully it was. I told her that she was very strong and that I was proud of her. She knew that me and her father were planning on talking to his parents, but all of a sudden, in the past hour, she kept trying to convince us not to and kept insisting that it wasn't as bad as she made it out to be. She kept saying that it was her fault and seemed to get increasingly anxious. Me and my husband sat her down and tried to work through the feelings and ask her where this was coming from. And then she broke down into tears and told us that the boy knows that she told us and he messaged her.

What I didn't know is that right before she blocked him, she messaged him out of fear saying that she was sorry, but that she told me about the relationship and what had happened. She told him that she wasn't allowed to talk to him anymore or something like that. She blocked him without giving him a chance to respond. He apparently knows what her Tumblr account is and decided to create an account and message her there. Here's the message he sent her. How could you think that I'm a bad person? You're the person I trust most in the world. Some of the things I told you are things that I've never told anyone in the world. You're the person I trust most in the world. Some of the things I told you are things that I've never told anyone in the world. You're selfish and evil at heart if you can really turn against me like that after everything

I've done for you. When I told you that I love you, I really mean it. But you're crazy as hell to interpret me saying that as something more than us just being friends. You're like a little sister to me. Why the F when I went a 14 year old? You're delusional. Whenever I would speak to you about how we can't be in a relationship, it's because I thought you wanted something from me. I'm totally fine without you, dude. You're the one who needs me. I'm the only one who helped

you through all your garbage. When Blank and Blank turned against you, who was there for you and talked to you all night even though he had so much workank turned against you, who was there for you and talked you all night even though he had so much work to do? Me. Who was there every time you felt depressed? Me. I could name so many other things. I kissed you on Saturday because I thought that's what you wanted and I felt like you

would kill yourself if I didn't. It's messed up how quickly you can turn on me and use the things I've done to hurt me. I don't know what else you told your mom, but I'm tired of your drama and I don't really want to be friends with you anymore. Sorry it came to this, but it's something I've been thinking about for months, but all the stuff you do really affects me and I think it's for the best if I cut out your toxic energy. If you care about me at all, you'll go to your mom and tell her that you lied and exaggerated like you always do. You owe me that after everything I've done for you. Don't screw me over like you screw over all your other friends.

When you told me about your drama, I really wanted to believe that you were in the right, but maybe your friends were actually right about you being a terrible person because I'm starting to see your true colors now. Prove me wrong. Yo, that message was crazy. That was just an ocean of red flags. This is like every trick in the abuser's handbook. The gaslighting, the turning things back on OP, the victim blaming, yo, this guy's a

psychopath. My daughter has been begging us to just drop everything and leave him alone. Obviously, we are not going to do that. But I'm at a loss of how to convince my daughter that things will end up okay. We've all agreed to go to bed since it's been a long night. I've kept my daughter's phone in my room so that he won't contact her in the middle of the night. Also, in the comments, OP clarifies that she explained this to her husband and her husband

is furious and the husband wanted to go to the cops but they realized they don't really have evidence so it's just her word against his word so they're trying to figure out what to do. Then, one day later, OP posted an update. We decided to move forward and get law enforcement involved. Getting the police involved certainly has brought a lot more information to light. A thorough search brought up a disturbing text conversation between my daughter and this boy that was enough to charge him with indecency with a child and possibly assault. We'll continue to move forward with this and get

our daughter the justice she deserves. I've seen some people be interested in how the parents of the 21 year old responded to the situation. I received a text from his mom, Natsu, after the police went to their house that said, you could have given me a heads up before you went ahead and destroyed my family, lol. I didn't reply to the text because I thought that it was immature. I didn't want to entertain it and I had bigger things to worry about. She called me a bit later and I made the mistake of picking up. She began to berate me and told her that I had broken her trust and ruined her family and that they were going through hell. She said that she could have fixed things herself if I came to her first and that I

didn't need to go and get the police involved and escalate the situation. She said some stuff about how her son's life was ruined too. She also said that I would burn in hell for this. I thanked her for her friendship and all that she's ever done for me over the years, and I told her that I wasn't interested in debating whether or not I did the right thing outside of a courtroom, and I swiftly ended our friendship. Then, one and a half years after the original post, OP posted an update. After everything that happened last summer, we did eventually end up moving to a new state

right before the school year started. My husband's job allowed him to relocate there, and after some time, I found a job of my own here. My daughter was able to start high school at a new school, and it was the best decision we made. She's very recently 16 now, in her second year of high school, she's involved in track and has a wonderful new social circle, and a boyfriend who this time is age-appropriate He's been over for dinner a few times and he's a lovely young man. He treats my daughter with so much respect

I'm just so happy that she's happy now after everything. She's been through there's still some stuff that she needs to work through So she's attending therapy regularly and it's helping her a lot. As for the man who did all this to my daughter, we, unfortunately, weren't able to get too harsh a punishment. We fought tooth and nail and were only able to get him to be slapped on the wrist with a large fine. We've come to peace with it, knowing that we did all we could and that he's out of our lives for good. We were able to place a restraining order on him so that he won't be bothering her anymore. As for my former best friend, aka the mother of this loser, we haven't talked to each other in over a year.

A couple of months ago, she reached out to me to tell me that she was in my new state for a business trip, and she asked me to get coffee with her. I declined at first, but she called me and told me that she just wants to meet for closure, and that she missed me and she wants to apologize for her part in everything. We met for coffee and she completely apologized for the way that she treated my family throughout all of this and told me that she only did it because she was afraid of her family falling apart. But now she recognizes that that was selfish of her.

She wanted to be friends again and wanted to know if I was okay with it in some capacity. I thanked her for the apology, but told her that I don't feel comfortable resuming a friendship with her and that it'd be best if we go our separate ways. It was a really sad conversation. Me and this girl have been together through so much growing up. She's been my rock during some of the most difficult and scary times in my life and vice versa. It was hard not to be sad or second guess it, but I knew that it was for the best. I don't want any ties with her family or any connection there. Oh my god, you guys, it is so incredible to see a parent who's not only just a good parent, but a phenomenal parent who goes above and beyond to protect her daughter.

OP's poor, sweet daughter felt unsafe in her own home. So what does OP do? Okay, let's just move to a new state. Let's just give you a fresh start. Let's completely uproot our entire family's life just to make my daughter's life better. That is, I'm at a loss for words. I'm not used to reading about good parents in this job, man. Our next Reddit post comes from rslashrelationships.

A couple days ago, I won a trivia contest that gave me an all-expenses paid trip for two to the Super Bowl. As you can imagine, I was so excited. But it's gotten to the point where I wish there was a way that I could sell the package and forget about it. My brother and I were hanging out together and decided to try for tickets for this local contest. I was the official contestant, but I actually ended up getting the answer I needed from

my brother. From that point, I never even thought about who to take with me. Since it was something we both did and he ended up actually giving me the answer, of course I was going to take him. I excitedly told my girlfriend who didn't even know that I was competing for the tickets that I won and that I was going with my brother. She then got very upset that I wasn't taking her. For the record, she is a football fan so it's clear that she would love to go. But my brother gave me the answer. How could he not go? My brother said that

he would understand if I take her, and he sees the problem this is causing for me and offered his ticket to her. I didn't even tell my girlfriend that he made this offer because I don't think that's the point. I think she's being selfish and putting a damper on the entire experience. I told her all this, but she's not backing down and said that if you win a trip for two, it should automatically go to your significant other. Maybe that's true if this were a romantic getaway or a cruise, but this is something that my brother and I did together and he's the reason I won.

She thinks that I'm being selfish and she thinks that I'm being inconsiderate of her. I don't know who's right or what to do. I wish I never won these tickets, because no matter what happens, the entire experience has been marred. I thought of giving my tickets to my brother and his wife and just forgetting about the whole thing. But since I won the tickets under my name, I have to go. How should I handle this? Yo OP, you said, I don't know who's right or what to do. I can tell you who's right. You're right, objectively.

You didn't win the tickets, you and your brother won the tickets together. They are just as much his tickets as they are your tickets. What is your girlfriend talking about? You told her about a competition that she literally didn't even know existed. And her first thought is, I get half the prize. Are you sure you want this girl to be your girlfriend?

All right, then about one week later, OP posted an update. I tried to talk to my girlfriend and she was still clearly upset. I approached the conversation as many people suggested, keeping an understanding that she was more disappointed than controlling and that she'd come around. Unfortunately, she was being unreasonable. She said that I could go, but that doing so would hurt her a great deal and that she would need some time to re-evaluate things. I should have just ended things with her there, but I was so sick of these tickets by this point that I didn't even have the heart to go even if I did decide to end things with

her. As suggested by some of the comments here, I called up the radio station and asked if it was possible to transfer the tickets to my brother so that he could go with his wife. They were totally understanding and awesome about it and said that they were sorry that I couldn't go, but they were glad to put the tickets in my brother's name for me. I was so glad to have it all behind me at that point. I told my girlfriend what I did and that I was staying here and she said that I was being dr- oh my god. She said that

I was being dramatic and immature. Yo this woman. She said that I transferred the tickets to my brother just so I could win the argument and look like a martyr. At this point I reached my breaking points. I calmly told her that this relationship was over. I wasn't even mad at this point and just confused that a person I thought I knew could act this way. She said that she was going to break up with me because of the way I handled this anyway, so breaking up with her didn't matter. My brother immediately told me that I dodged a bullet and he's glad that she's out of everyone's lives. My brother's wife was totally cool about me using her ticket and didn't even question it even after I'm technically taking back my gift to her. She insisted that I go with my brother. So now I'm the guest of the original

tickets that I won. I'm happy to say that I arrived in San Francisco a few days ago and I'm having the time of my life. My girlfriend didn't unfollow me on social media and I'm posting as many pictures as I possibly can. OP, that's what I call killing two birds with one stone, winning tickets to the Super Bowl and getting rid of a toxic girlfriend.