rSlash - r/Bestof My BF Wants to Give Me to His Best Friend

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:11 Odd relationship 11:40 Its over 16:13 Comment story Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Welcome to R-slashBest of Redditor Updates, where OP's boyfriend has a really weird and disturbing relationship with his best friend. Our next reddit post is from our Slash Relationship Advice. I think my boyfriend is trying to push off our relationship onto his friend. I'm a 24 year old woman, and as the title suggests, I believe that my 26 year old boyfriend is trying to actively move me to date his best friend.

I've been dating my boyfriend, Michael, for about a year now. We've known each other for years because we've always been in the same friend groups since high school. His best friend, John, has also been someone I've known for a long time because he's also in the group.

John asked me out years ago, but I turned him down because he's always been somewhat of a cocky guy who could never see that he was ever wrong. Many people find that charming, but I think SMARMY is a better word. He seemed offended, but brushed it off and even told people that I had asked him out and he rejected me, which was fine because it didn't affect my life at all. After a few months, all was forgotten, and we just pretended the other one didn't

exist, and that's how it's been for years. Until Michael asked me out randomly, and I decided to give it a shot. It turns out that we have a lot of similar hobbies, and really had a good time together, so we started dating shortly after that. Now about 6 months ago, my boyfriend Michael started to act strange, but in really subtle ways. I would talk about how much I loved animals, and he would interject that John just loved animals. Which wouldn't be weird by itself, but he did it with everything I talked about liking. If I loved it, John loved it just as much.

He told me how compatible me and John were were and how he wished we meshed more. I eventually told Michael that I really didn't care what John liked because he was kind of pretentious and we never got along. My boyfriend seemed really offended, but he quickly recovered and by the next day everything was good again. About a week after that instance, Michael would just start randomly talking up John with seemingly no reason. Things like, hey, I talked to Brittany yesterday and man, apparently John is a god in the bedroom, haha, maybe I should ask the guy for tips. Or John is volunteering at that shelter we went to for a couple of weeks.

What a guy. Or we should have John make us dinner. He's a great cook. It was just about every day that I had to hear about John's greatness and it was to the point that I initially thought that Michael wanted to date John. Then three weeks ago after we had some drinks, Michael asked me, if we ever broke up, would you date someone else in the group? I had no idea what to say because it was so random, but he quickly filled the void by saying,

I think I would if I were you and John was single. Seriously? So three days ago, I confronted Michael in the kitchen and told him that if he had anything he wanted to tell me, I would listen to it no matter what, and I would always be there for him. He seemed confused and told me that he had no idea what I meant by that. So I brought up all the times that he talked about John and how he would date him and I told him that if you really wanted to date John, I understood and I would support them. After all, they're best friends, so obviously they have a good connection. When I say that he blew up, I cannot stress how angry he got.

He used a dozen slurs for gay people and said that he was disgusted that I saw him like that and that he would never do something like that. We ended up getting into a huge fight over it because I certainly do not support his language or attitudes towards LGBTQ folks and it was just a vibe that I got from him and that I didn't mean to mislabel him. We haven't really talked but he's staying at his parents house right now, and today, John called me to tell me that he doesn't support Michael's attitude towards me, and he invited me over to talk about it, even saying that Michael was 100% okay with this.

Am I crazy? Am I making up some convoluted story in my head or is this bizarre? Opie, I'm with you. This is really bizarre, really weird. This is a fairly long story. I'm excited to see where this code is because this is, I'm confused. I think Opie's right. This does actually sound like what's going on here. Then Opie posted an update. So I called Michael when he got off work. And the first thing he asked me is if I went to vent to John. Naturally, I didn't because me and John aren't close

and I told him that. He didn't have much to say to that, so I started asking him questions that you guys suggested. I said, why are you pushing me towards John? Do you want to break up? He once again got defensive and said that he refused to talk about it over the phone and suggested that we meet at John's place to talk it out.

I asked why does John have to be included at all since really it's between the two of us and what? And he basically told me that really it's between the three of us? I refused to meet up at John's for obvious, and I told him that if it had to be the three of us, then we could meet it like a restaurant or something. He seemed fine with that, and we scheduled a meeting at a grill that's pretty close to all of us. I showed up early and got us a table that had some privacy, and not long after, John walked

through the door. He sat down immediately what am I reading? He sat down immediately and started chatting about how we were both so timely and that he liked when women showed up early because it showed they had good time management skills. 25 minutes after Michael was supposed to show up, he texted me and said that he had car problems

and he couldn't make it, but I should get to know John since I was already there. At this point, I'm beyond livid. John keeps trying to buy me drinks and even tries to schedule another time to hang out. I confronted John about Michael pushing me towards him and John acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. I kept mentioning how Michael was talking about him to me, and John just said that made sense because Bros have Bros backs. I told him that you Bros can have each other and left fuming.

Michael tried calling me three times, and John tried seven. I want to cut them both off and say good riddance, but to do that would require leaving the friend group as well, and I don't really have that many friends to begin with. And it makes me so mad that I even have to make this decision. Anyways, this update doesn't really resolve anything. It just makes me angry. Then O.P. posted an update. I went to Michael's house pretty early this morning since I have worked today and I really needed this resolved. I had been up all night going through the comments,

trying to piece everything together and honestly it was driving me crazy. Michael was alone when I got there which was a relief because I pictured John showing up like a movie villain. Michael initially didn't want to let me in which was really weird but I told him that I wasn't going to leave without talking to him about this first. So he finally let me in and we sat down to talk. I asked him about the car trouble last night and he said that it was all fixed now. Convenient. I asked him a few more questions, but I was met with vague answers, so I decided to just

cut to the chase and said, why do you want me to like John so much? Do you want me to date him? Do you want to have a threesome? What is it? Once again, instead of answering, he just watched me, and then he had the nerve to ask me who I told my suspicions to. So I said that I'd been running them through my head, but that my mom knew that I was coming over to talk.

He got mad and said that it wasn't like that, and I was making him out to be the bad guy because he and John were looking for something long-term, not just a one-time thing, what? And now that my suspicions were 100% confirmed, I told him that you can't make plans including someone else without their consent, and that I would never be interested in anything with the two of them and that I was no longer interested in anything with him either. I started leaving and told him to never contact me again. Same goes for John. I told him that he could give John that message, but Michael blocked my way out and said that I had to hear him out and hear his side of the story. I told him I didn't want or care to, and that he

needed to let me leave because my mom was expecting me in the next half hour. He started getting frantic saying that he could just get John over here to explain and that everything would make sense. So I ran out the back door and used the garden exit to get to my car and locked the doors immediately. He came outside and started pounding on my windows saying that I was making a huge mistake and that I'd regret this. I was bawling in my car when I backed it up to drive away and I'm pretty sure I drove over their mailbox by accident because the back of my car has a huge dent.

My car was basically out of gas, so I had to stop even though all I wanted to do was put as much space as possible between us. Right when I was about to leave, who else would call my name, but Michael's mom? She was on her way home from the grocery store and was worried because I looked like hell warmed over. I told her about everything that had just happened and I got a few more stairs from other people, but eff it, I guess I'm just a crazy lady. His mom looked horrified for me and told me to stay as far away from her son as possible.

She told me to come sit with her in the car where she proceeded to ask me when I met Michael which was high school. She said that she figured as much and she said that in middle school, him and John are worded a girl together and they had their record sealed because they were miners and quote didn't mean to do it. She told me how sorry she was because she said that it happened so long ago and she thought that he had changed. She put him in therapy and she thought that he was better. She said if she had any idea that this might be happening, she would have told me immediately. I just gave her a quick goodbye and I'm so having scared of everything right now. I'm now going to my mom since they both know where I live.

I sent a mass text out to everyone in the group detailing everything, and so far three people have said they support me, so that's good, I guess. What do I even do? I am never talking to them again. I've already blocked them both on everything I could think of, but I've been getting hidden number calls ever since. I'm considering going to the police station to file a harassment complaint so that at least it's document. My mom said that she's gonna call my uncle who works at the court and see what the next best step is. Then OP posted an update. I talked to the cops about getting a restraining order, but the officer I talked to said that it fell into domestic violence, and he had me file a DVOP.

Now we have an unset court date before a judge. I'm still getting a ton of block calls, but I'm in the process of changing my number, so that should resolve itself soon enough. I've also added some extra safety features in my home, like locks and cameras. I have to see Michael and Cord at some point to tell my story, and John is missing in action. I've also been getting weird, rambling love letters at my door, which gives me the creeps.

I also had to get a new job because according to my boss, Michael has been randomly showing up there. My friends are now split 80% in my favor, 20% in Michael and John's favor. Thankfully, I have friends I can trust. Anyways, good riddance to John, Michael, and the other friends. Man, this story went from interesting to weird to disturbing really fast. Our next reddit post comes from our slash true off my chest.

My birthday is coming up in a few months, and three days ago I found out what my birthday present was, which are tickets for a cruise. His sister spilled the news thinking I'd be excited, but I'm not. We live together and I found the gift, and I know that it's for me. I sound so ungrateful, but I'm not. This gift just proves to me that things will never change. So first off, this gift is not for me. I don't like cruises because I get really bad seasickness and nothing I do helps. I also told my boyfriend what I wanted to

do for my birthday, which was to go to a rent fair festival on my birthday. I had already taken a week off from work so that I could prepare for this rent fair. I've already purchased tickets for it and I'm saving money month to month so that I have spending money without it affecting finances at home. So why would he book tickets the same time that I took off to go to this festival? Also, this cruise wasn't cheap at all, so I'm basically wasting money by not going. I'm so annoyed. I've told him time and time again that I feel like he doesn't listen to me. That

I feel like he just gets me things by thinking about what's best for him and what he would like. And it's not only with gifts. He makes decisions based on what he thinks is best, and I just can't deal with it anymore. I love him, but I'm so done. And before anyone says that I didn't talk to him or to talk to him about this, I have repeatedly. This has been a reoccurring conversation for our two and a half year relationship. The next thing to do is to just talk it out and end things. Then three days later, OP posts and an update. The day that I wrote my post is the day that I ended things with my ex. When he came home, I basically said that I found the tickets for the cruise and I asked

him who they were for. He said they were for my birthday and I ruined the surprise. I asked him why do you give me tickets for a cruise when he knows that I get seasick and also when he knows that I have been preparing for a rent-bear festival for the past couple of months. He said that he always liked cruises when he went on them, and he thought that I could just push through the sea sickness with patches or some other remedy because it's a really expensive cruise. He continued talking about the cruise, but to be honest, I spaced out because I realized

just how much this man doesn't care about me. He bought these cruise tickets completely disregarding what I'd planned, how I'd feel, and what I wanted to do all because he liked cruises. Like, if my birthday, if what I want, if how sick I get, he likes cruises so we have to go on a cruise. I think he realized that I wasn't speaking or excited because he asked me what was wrong and I broke up with him. He was shocked and angry and asked why. I said, it's because I've realized how much you really don't care about me and that

you're always willing to put your ones over mine every time it suits you, even on my birthday. He started to argue and went into talk about it, but I was just numb and went to bed on the couch. After two hours of trying to speak to me, he left me alone. I woke up the next day and got ready for work. Oddly, I felt fine, and he wanted to talk, but I just said that I'm done. And if he wanted to talk about the apartment or what we do about the lease or anything regarding

the end of the relationship, I'm okay with that. I told him that I'm not changing my mind about this, and for me, this relationship is done, and I just want to split up amicably. While I was at work today, I had free time, and I wrote down every instance I could remember just in the last six months of him choosing his once-in-needs over mine. It was nearly three pages front to back and I didn't even realize how much stuff I wanted to do that I let go of because he didn't want to do it. When I went home, he wanted to talk again, but I gave him the list and explained what it was.

He left me alone the rest of the second night. He's still not accepting the breakup. He wants to do couples therapy now or even go on a break because he realizes how much he's done, but nope, I'm not doing it. At least I have my birthday to look for too as I deal with the relationship ending and having to find a new place to live. Man, buying cruise tickets for someone who gets seasickness is cold, even if it were his birthday and he wanted to go on a cruise, buying tickets for both of them would still be bad behavior. Also, down in the comments, we have a similar story from Photo Guy. For some people, a 16th birthday is a milestone.

To me, it was. My father decided to take me and my stepmom out for my birthday dinner. He chose one of his favorite restaurants, the red top dairy. He loved it because he loved their BLT sandwiches, which came with potato salad. I was well known for hating tomatoes and being allergic to mayonnaise. Aside from the BLT, there weren't many options left on the menu that I wanted to eat. He didn't even question it that while they were enjoying their BLTs in potato salad, I was sitting across the table with only my glass of ice water on my own birthday.

Years later, when the restaurant burned down, I got home to a message on my answering machine. It was my father accusing me of torching his favorite restaurant just to get back at him. He stuck by this accusation for the next 34 years until he passed. And to be clear, no, I did not burn down his restaurant. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.