rSlash - r/Bestof My Boyfriend Hates Me Because I'm RICH!

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

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Our next reddit post comes from R-slash Relationship Advice. My boyfriend and I met through a dating at 8 months ago and we've had a good, steady relationship. I come from a well-off family, but my parents never spoiled me. They taught me to not indulge in excess and to keep my privilege in mind when interacting with people. I'm currently living in an apartment with only my salary. I haven't told my boyfriend about my wealth. I wasn't actively hiding it, it just didn't come up. My birthday was a few weeks ago, and my parents threw a party at our home. Our home is a medium-sized villa.

My boyfriend started scowling when I told him that this was the home that I grew up in. When I asked him about his scowl, he told me that it was nothing and started smiling again. His mood got worse as more and more of my parents' rich friends started coming in. When I asked him about it the next day,

he just told me that he was feeling a little sick. After we got back, he asked me why I hid the fact that I was rich. I told him I wasn't hiding it. But after that, he started bringing this up in every conversation. Like him telling me that the reason why I don't know how to cook

properly is because I was spoiled. He brought it up with his friends, telling them that I was a spoiled princess who had everything handed to me. It started as jokes, but it got more hostile as the days went on. When I brought this up with him, he told me that I didn't understand normal people's problems because I was rich. Did I do something wrong? What should I do? Then, two days later, O.P. posted an update. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he kept stonewalling me. He made more snide comments, and I decided to break up. When I told him that I was leaving him, it felt like he was expecting it.

He called me a rich bitch and went on a rant about how I was leaving him because he was poor. Some commenters told me to expect this, but it still came as a shock. He and I have very good salaries, and I don't know why he said that. He was a good person most of the time I knew him. Some people asked me why I didn't warn him about my wealth. All my relationships before him were with people in my social class, so the expectation of wealth was implicit. Having wealth wasn't a big deal in any of my previous relationships, so I assumed that it was the same in this one too.

I'll warn my partners before taking them home in my future relationships. Okay, so obviously this boyfriend sabotages his own relationship because OP seems pretty level-headed and nice, and the obvious question is, if he liked her before finding out that she was rich, then why should finding out that she's rich make any difference? So yeah, I'm on your side OP, though, I have to point out something silly that she wrote. Where was it? First off, you said that every single one of your interactions was with other people in your social class Then you said having wealth wasn't a big deal in any of my previous relationships

So I assumed that it was the same in this one too. That's just not accurate OP. That is okay You're wealth and your privilege is definitely showing here because clearly clearly wealth is a big deal in your previous relationships. The fact that you literally never even talk to non-rich people or never dated non-rich people means, obviously, wealth is extremely important in your life because it dictates who you even talk to in the first place. And also to say that wealth isn't a big deal, the only people who say that wealth isn't a big deal are people who have wealth. To everyone else, yeah, wealth is a big deal. Our next Reddit post comes from R-slashAmidtheBadguy.

Am I the bad guy for choosing not to pay for my daughter's university fees, despite paying for her brothers? And I read a hit a little bit. This sounds very, very similar to another post, where a woman got into a really prestigious university, and the parents threatened not to pay, but weirdly this is a completely separate post with completely separate issues. So if you think that I already read this story, you're wrong.

I'm a 57 year old man, and my daughter, Jane, who's 21, has recently been accepted into the University of her choice. Now me and my wife, who's 55, are glad with this news. The only thing is that Jane got accepted to do an English degree. Now Jane, compared to her two brothers, Mark and Leo, who are 28 and 30, was quite late in applying to university. When me and my wife asked her to apply at 18, she claimed that she wasn't ready and wanted to have a little rest.

A little rest being going out with friends and traveling the whole of last year with her boyfriend. It should be noted that I supplied Jane with all the money needed for her little rest. Now me and my wife hold nothing against Jane for doing what she did. She's young and young people live to explore and do what they do. However, before me and my wife allowed for Jane to do her thing, we made her promise that when she did apply to university, it was for a degree that was worth it. Jane was going through a weird phase where she wanted to be many things that were more on the creative side. Fast forward a year later, and we

find out that Jane's gone behind our backs and applied for an English degree. Both Leo and Mark pursued medical degrees and are now very good well-paid doctors. One would think that this would motivate Jane to go down the same path, but instead she decided to be herself. I sat down Jane last night and told her that if she decided to go through with the English degree, I wouldn't support her at all and that she would have to take out her own student loan. At this, she began crying, claiming that I was the worst dad ever, and had always favored her brothers over her. Now this is totally incorrect, because I literally paid for her travel all of last year.

My sons think that I'm being too harsh, and that I should simply support Jane regardless of what she chooses. But is it too much to ask of my daughter to follow through with an actually useful degree? Opie, this is coming from someone who has an English degree and who has a master's in English as well. And I can say pretty safely that an English degree is not worth the money. Even coming from that perspective, even though I'm on your side there, you're still a jerk, you're still a bad guy here. Because she's right, you are being biased.

Like you're saying, well yeah, I paid for her travel for a year, but come on. Do you really expect us to believe that taking a year off to travel is comparable to four years of medical school? There's no way, there's no way man. I would guess that you probably spent at least five times more on each of your sons than you did on your daughter. So she's right, you are being biased. Not supporting an English degree is understandable because I don't think they're very useful personally. But this isn't about supporting

an English degree, this is about supporting your daughter. Oh, actually, this got answered down in the comments. Someone mentioned something about OP's daughter and OP said, True, my daughter has always had a tendency to go against our family's norms. Oh god OP, are you just a bad person? Then someone asks, did you spend a comparable amount on James Travel as you spend on your son's education and OP simply replies, no. Obviously, unless she's spending literally 365 days a year in five star hotels and flying first class, there's no way she gets close to four years of medical school. So OP is just OP's

a douchebag, okay. I'm glad that his daughter is calling him out and saying that he prefers his sons and that the commenters are calling him out for being unfair because both those things are true. Then almost three weeks later, OP posted an update. I'd like to start by saying that I appreciate all the comments that were given, however unpleasant they were. They helped me understand that I was in the wrong and some provided me with advice on what I should do if I wanted to keep in contact with my daughter. I realized that I was living too much in the past, and I wasn't taking into consideration how much things have changed in the last 30 years.

My father worked as an artist and had little to no business. The only thing that saved my family from absolute poverty was my mother working in a super market. I guess I was afraid of these things happening to Jane. Now, I hadn't talked to Jane about her degree until last Thursday. When I brought up the topic, she confessed to me that she was ready to take one of the degrees that I recommended to her. I told her that there was no need, and she looked at me as if I was playing a cruel joke. I reassured her that I was being serious and she began crying due to happiness.

I realized that I may have been favoring my sons due to their obedience to follow what I asked of them and I was punishing Jane for being herself rather than fitting into whatever I decided to make of her. Jane will be attending Oxford University later in the year? Oh, Pete, your daughter get into Oxford and you almost shut her down. Wow. Wow! Okay. Sorry, I was shocked to read Oxford. Okay.

To pursue her degree and their relationship between us has never been better. I'm highly appreciative of all the comments on my previous post. They helped me see how much I was prioritizing financial gain over my daughter's well-being. Something which should have never been in question in the first place. I love how this guy's daughter makes it into friggin' Oxford University. One of the top five schools on planet earth and he's like, I'm just worried for her future. I don't know if she's going to be able to make it. Buddy, I think she'll be just fine.

Also, let me say, I know I trash on my English degree a lot on this channel, and I kind of feel I should, you know, own up to it and apologize. If I have any listeners out there who are pursuing their English degree and they love it, then, you know, kudos to you, more power to you. I'm just saying that personally from my journey, I didn't find my education in English to be very useful.

I didn't find it to give me much of a return on my investments, and I didn't find my education in English to be very useful. I didn't find it to give me much of a return on my investment and I didn't feel like I learned useful skills and useful knowledge. It was just reading an essay Is in reading an essays and you never get a job where your job is to read stuff and then write essays So to be clear, I think college is very valuable. I think the liberal arts degrees can also be very valuable It's just my higher education didn't actually turn out to be fruitful after I got my English degree I got a job writing for a corporation and I was writing alongside other people who didn't have college degrees So it's like why did I spend all this money and time going to college when I could have just gotten a job in the first place So it just felt kind of like pointless, I guess. So if you want to get an English degree, I just want to warn you, coming from a guy with the masters,

they're just not very useful in the real world. There are very, very few people who are like, I need someone with an English degree ASAP, which doesn't happen. Metrolinks and crossl links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe.

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Am I the bad guy for insisting my son be invited to my daughter's wedding? So I'm a 56 year old woman and I have a bit of a dilemma. My daughter, who's 26, is getting married this summer and my son, who's 28, was not invited. Those two have never really gotten along and recently they had a big disagreement. My daughter had an engagement party and my son got a bit drunk and got handsy with some of my daughter's friends, which they didn't like, and my daughter was furious at him for touching her friends. She kicked him out of the party, and I only found this out after the party was over. Fast forward to now, and my son got a message

from my daughter, uninviting him to her wedding because of his behavior towards her friends. He was so upset and called me to tell me what she had said. And to be honest, I think it's a shame that she feels so angry about it. I called up my daughter and told her that if my son can't come, I won't be attending the wedding either. I felt as though what my son did

wasn't worthy of ruining family relationships because him not being invited to her wedding is a huge deal. He's always been a bit temperamental and he gets carried away with things, but he means well, my daughters called me up and shouted at me saying that I was enabling his horrible behavior, and even my fiance's mother called me to express her frustration with my decision. But I really don't think that I'm in the wrong here. If my daughter's friends don't feel comfortable, then shouldn't they be the ones uninvited instead of her own brother?

So am I the bad guy for insisting that my son be invited to my daughter's wedding? Alright, as you guys might imagine, OP gets absolutely dragged in the comments. When person says OP, when your son ends up dead from his addiction to alcohol or in jail because he likes to sexually assault people, please look in a mirror because you're the reason that it's happening. You should be agreeing with your daughter and trying to get your son help, not enabling his addiction and illegal behavior. Okay, a quick note, there's a story here that kind of goes off track, so I read a hit thinking that this wasn't going to be relevant, but the story takes a really interesting and bizarre twist.

So this next part is going to sound off topic, but trust me, it'll make sense in the end. Down in the comments, another user shares this story. My aunt is in her 70s now. I was having a conversation with her about family relationships. She insisted that I reach out to a specific cousin and connect like the two of us used to. I told her things, but no thanks. I tried to deflect and she pushed.

I told her that he touched me inappropriately when we were small, so I'm not comfortable with him being around me or my kid. She asked why. I explained and told her what happened and she said, oh that's no big deal. So then I asked her, you have a 16 year old granddaughter, how would you feel if your brother touched her like that? She gasped and said that she would beat him and throw him in jail. Okay, Auntie, so how come I have to get over it, but you would never let that happen to your granddaughter? My Auntie then remembered her own grandfather. As a child, he apparently would

take the kids, sit them on his lap, and you guys can guess from there. My auntie said that she never saw her grandpa after for a while and never knew why. I helped or connect the dots. My auntie's family kept her grandfather away from the kids because they knew that he was dangerous. But they never told the kids or anyone else what they did because of their reputation in the town. So my auntie and all of her siblings had that happen to them and they never thought that it was wrong. They had their trauma brushed under the rug and it took her 60 years

to finally figure it out. Your son s**tly a s**t of your daughter's friend. Just because sober him says sorry doesn't make it a genuine sorry. If he was really sorry then he wouldn't have called you to fix it. He would have accepted his fate and done better in the future. I know this is long, but I really hope that it brings some perspective. My auntie also thought that it was no big deal, until the tables were turned. Then she realized how wrong she was. So after all these comments, OP posted an update. Wow, hi, I don't think I've ever been slated more in my life, but I see why. Some comments really put things into perspective for me.

But anyway, a little explanation I suppose. Where I'm from, we don't have an active feminist community at all. I won't get into the details of my own life as it doesn't justify what went down. But essentially, I suppose now I've realized that I was groped by my grandfather for a majority of my childhood. And I was always dismissive of that behavior, and I suppose that's why I was so lenient with my son's behavior. It pains me to see so many people saying things that have been playing in my mind for years. I had me to see so many people saying the things that have been playing in my mind for years. I had hoped that I hadn't completely failed as a parent,

but I guess that I have. I think I'm going to contact the girls and apologize for my son's behavior and apologize to my daughter. I mostly feel guilty for making this process stressful for her. We've always had a great relationship, and I hope this doesn't break it. I think that I'll be getting my son into counseling and me into therapy, as we evidently have serious character flaws. I'm not a bad person, and I'm sorry if you believe that I am. Thank you for your attention. Oh my god, is that some actual character growth in a Reddit post? Usually on Reddit, when someone gets raked across the coals, they just delete their account and never look back.

But OP in this story is actually growing and learning and facing her childhood trauma. Good job, Reddit! follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.