rSlash - r/Bestof My Boyfriend is an Evil Psychopath

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

To skip R word description jump to 3:27 0:00 Intro 0:11 Disgusting truth 3:27 Skip the story 12:17 Free car Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates where OP finds out that her boyfriend is a bonafide Psychopath our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice I'm a 28 year old woman and I've spent the last five years believing that my former best friend a 29 year old guy Tried to perform our word on me five years ago when I was 23 I'd been working with a company that handled hospitality training and stuff like that. What we did really wasn't important, but at that point I'd been with the company for about three years already.

Mark had gotten hired around the same time as I had, and we did a lot of training and stuff together, got put in the same call center group, and all around just became extremely close friends who hung out after work since we lived close to each other and we were both unattached. To point out how close we'd gotten since we were both single, people in the company and our department always made jokes that we needed to just say screw the company policies and start dating. We both laughed it off, because at the end of the day, we both made it abundantly clear to each other that we only saw each other as friends.

So yeah, we were basically attached at the hip for about two and a half years, until I met Paul. At the time, I was about 28 and Paul was 34, and I began dating Paul. Paul and Mark got along somewhat fine at first, but a few months into dating, Paul started to get upset if I said that I was going to grab dinner with Mark after work. For what it's worth, my friend Mark seemed to understand where Paul was coming from and only grabbed dinner with me when I asked him, never prompting it himself. Well, on my 24th birthday, I decided to throw a party at my apartment,

and when Paul flaked on helping me get the supplies, Mark stepped in and helped. He even went out and bought the lion's share of booze for the party. The party got going, and Paul ended up showing up an hour after most of the others were already there. After a few hours, most of the partier started heading out, leaving a few people sleeping in the living room because they were too drunk to drive, and then it was just Mark, Paul, and myself. Mark insisted that I go lay down, since it was my birthday, and he knew that I was I go lay down, since it was my birthday and he knew that I was already pretty drunk myself, so it wasn't right for me to clean up after my own party. So I said goodnight to everyone and Paul helped me back to the room. He put me in bed on my side facing the

wall and then left and I pretty quickly dozed off. So just a heads up everyone, these next two paragraphs are a pretty vivid description of a tempted R. So if you don't want to hear this, I'm going to put a timestamp in the description so you can skip this part. The next thing I remember is loud music blaring in the room and feeling completely bound. I was still inebriated, but as I tried to move around, I could feel that I was tied to the bed and I could feel someone on top of me. I was laying on my stomach and there was a hand on the back of my head pushing it into the pillow so I couldn't see anything and I could feel someone stumbling to try to pull my pajamas down and shoving his hand up against me. Someone was pounding at the door until I heard a

loud crack and then Mark and Paul's voices arguing. The pressure pulled off my head, and I could see one of them pulling the other away, but in the darkness I couldn't tell who was doing what, but there was a lot of screaming and crashing. A few minutes later, Paul comes back into the room and unties me from the bed and just holds me, telling me Mark had been trying to R-word me. I wanted to file a police report, but Paul convinced me not to since he had gotten there in time and nothing had happened, which I should have taken as a red flag, but I just didn't at the time because I was so relieved that I'd been saved. I took a few days off work and blocked Mark on

all social media, but not before he texted me trying to tell me that Paul had been the one to attack me and that he was the one who tried to save me. I didn't believe him because it had been Paul who came in and untied me, and if Paul had been trying to do that, then why would he untie me? Plus, we were dating, so it didn't make any sense to me that Paul would do that to me. I ended up quitting that company before my time off ended, because I'd been starting to look at advancement in my career and moving on, so I just decided that was my sign and tried to run away from it all. Paul and I kept dating for about six months, until I caught him cheating on me with a lady

from his office. Maybe this should have been a bigger red flag to me, but I'd been trying to distance myself from what had happened. Then life just went on. I got comfortable in my new job, stayed away from getting too friendly with anyone from work, and I never had any close guy friends again. Occasionally, I would see Mark at the grocery store or around town. And I thought that I was mostly over what had happened half a decade ago, until I got

a notification a few hours ago that Paul had messaged me. I thought it was odd because I blocked Paul, but he made a new account. So according to Paul's message, he's an alcoholic and has been for years. Even back when we first started dating, he was pretty much always drinking or looking for an excuse to. He got fired from his job for showing up to work drunk and assaulting the receptionist by trying to force his tongue down her throat in the front lobby at 9am. Wow. He had court mandated alcoholics anonymous, and as part of his recovery, he was trying

to make amends with anyone that he wronged because of his habits. And I found out that Mark wasn't the one who tried to R-word me. It was Paul! Paul had been jealous of my friendship with Mark, and saw it as an opportunity to get him out of the picture because of how gullible I was, which are his words. I'm not gonna lie, I threw up after reading the whole thing. He went into so much detail behind all of it that I just felt sick to my stomach that

he not only remembered everything. From how he secretly put ties on my bed before I even went to sleep once he saw how drunk I was getting, to how he beat up Mark and threatened to kill him if he went to the cops. So I guess my question is, should I message Mark? What would I even say? Sorry I didn't believe you when you said that you didn't try to R-word me. Ten days later, OP posted an update. Now as for Mark, my therapist was insistent that I at the very least write him something,

whether it be a letter to mail him or a message on Facebook. She, like many of you, pointed out that while he knows that he's innocent, the thought of someone believing him capable of something monstrous like that could have weighed on him for all this time. And even if his reception of my message isn't ideal, he deserved at least the closure that this new turn of events could provide. I took a few days writing and rewriting a message. And I didn't think just saying, oh, guess what I learned? Paul is an absolute psychopath last week. Surprise! Here's the message that I ended up sending him.

Hi Mark, so this is a bit out of the blue and I really don't know how to start this, so I'm just gonna put it out there. I'm sorry for not listening to you. Paul messaged me last week and revealed everything, and I'm just sorry. This isn't easy to write, and you deserve so much more than just an apology so long after the fact. There's no excuse for me not giving you the benefit of the doubt other than I let myself be stupidly gaslit by a psychopathic maniac. then OP attached screenshots of Paul's confession to her. This is the message he sent me. It even confesses to an assault on Yu if you'd like to press charges against him, as I've

already filed a police report for what he did to me. If you would like to talk about any of this at all, my inbox is open. If you want to tell me to f off, well, I guess I understand that too. I'm not sure what I expect really, because this has ripped open a wound that I'd been trying to heal, and I'm sure this might cause you some distress, but I felt that you at the very least deserve to know. I sent that to him this past Friday, and I'm pretty sure that he read it sometime between Friday and Saturday, because the red notification had been there when I checked Facebook on Saturday.

Last night, around 6pm, I got a text message from Mark. I wish you would have listened to me back then, but I'm glad you know the truth. I thought that was all he was going to send me, when the three dots kept going across the bottom of my screen. He was still typing when he sent me pictures as well. The pictures were of Mark, and they were graphic. They proved Paul was serious when he said that he beat the stuffing out of Mark. Mark went on to explain that he filed an assault report the next day after my birthday, but

that the cops had warned him against accusing Paul of sexually assaulting me, given the turn of events, and me sending him a don't speak to me again text message. Nothing ever came of his police report, and he wasn't sure why. Mark is still very much the kind person that I remember him being, and while I was bracing for him to hold a grudge against me, he instead just expressed his happiness that I finally knew the truth. We exchanged small talk through chat for a little while, but it was nowhere near the conversations that we used to have.

Mark is actually engaged to a girl that he's been dating for about two years now. He had apparently never brought up any of this to her, until she saw my name flashing his screen with a notification and asked who I was. I asked if we could still keep in touch, even if only with small talk, and he said that he thought that would be okay, though he was a lot busier than he was back then between work and planning his wedding. While I thought that was going to be the end of it, he messaged me a few hours ago to let me know that he refiled his police report with the added messages that I'd sent him,

and that if I was open to it, he'd like to meet for coffee with his fiancé in tow and a friend of mine if I'm more comfortable doing it that way. I'm not really sure if that's entirely a good idea, so I sent one of my girlfriends a text message to see what she thinks if she'd be open to coming with. She says it's ultimately up to me what I decide to do, and she'd be with me either way. So yeah, that's the update. Then, a year and a half later, OP posted an update. The reason I'm posting this is primarily out of joy. My attacker, Paul, had a slew of other court dates already when I'd filed my case against him, and I'd started to lose hope that anything was going to happen since I was reporting

an incident from over five years ago. But the court system in my state was stupidly overbooked, and I just had to wait for things to take their natural course. Over the last few months, I started to get follow-up calls from an investigator who was apparently going over the details of Paul's case. Paul was already facing some time in prison over a different assault charge. His time during Alcoholics Anonymous had proven to not be effective when it came to making amends. The prosecutor was looking to add my report of sexual assault to an overall criminal case against him, but it would require me to submit either a document to be provided as testimony,

or to give testimony in person. Though I had received Paul's message, I hadn't interacted or seen him in person for well over four years, and my therapist suggested that I might get closure if I testified against him in court. That finally happened last week. It was hard, and I won't lie. I cried while I was on the stand, but it felt good. The years had not been kind to Paul, and while he certainly looked remorseful sitting in the courtroom, I couldn't give two F's about him. I left after that, and, nice, I found out just this morning

that between his various cases, he's going to prison. I'm not sure how long, but I also know that he's being added to the sex offender database, which is another win as far as I'm concerned. My old friend Mark, who had taken the blame for Paul's actions for so long, got married in the middle of last year, and while he and his fiance had offered me an invitation, I didn't feel like it was my place to attend. We message every so often, but he's got his own life now, and it's not my place to intrude on that. I'm just happy that Paul's BS never got to derail his life in any huge way outside of the obvious.

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I sincerely hope that Paul has a miserable time in prison. Our next reddit post is from Carthrowaway. So I'm a 23 year old woman and I want a brand new compact car and a raffle that I entered a few weeks ago at a trade show that I was at for work. Which is awesome, but I already have an older car that I really like and I just finished paying it off, so I can finally pay the cheaper liability only insurance. My car still has a lot of life on it.

It only has about 100,000 miles and if I were to choose a brand new car, it would not be the one that I won. I did some research, and after taxes and shipping, I can make about $14,000 to $15,000 from selling this car. This money would be an incredible start just after graduating college. It would more than triple my savings. My boyfriend, who's 25, who I've been dating for a little over a year, has been without a car for a few months. He's been struggling a bit financially, so he hasn't gotten a new one yet, but he can walk to the grocery store, he gets a ride to work, and I drive him anywhere else. It's

worked out fine, and I really don't mind. He helps out with gas and driving. For background, he lives with his friends, and I live with my dad for free, so I'm able to save up money. I definitely see a future with him, but we aren't at the point where we've talked about moving in together yet, but we are very serious. I went to a gathering at his parents' house last night, and his whole family has been wonderful and welcoming to me. Everyone congratulated me on winning the car. But everyone, including my boyfriend, seemed to think that the logical, obvious step was to

either give it to my boyfriend or give him my car and keep the new one. I don't plan to do either of these things. It would be different if we were married or living together and our money was mixed together, but it's not. We're not at that point in the relationship yet. I don't want to just give him what would essentially be $15,000 in cash. It doesn't make any sense If I'd won money instead there wouldn't be any talk of just giving all the money to him The car and the resulting money should be mine It's not my responsibility to provide him with a free car whether it be my $5,000 car that I really like or this brand new one. During dinner at his family's house, I just stayed quiet because I was so shocked at their assumption,

and I didn't want to rip it away from him in front of his entire extended family. How do I break this to him and his family that the car and the money from it are not in any way his? Yeah, OP, the really weird red flag out of this is why is their first response give the boyfriend the car as opposed to great now the boyfriend can use one of your cars and hey the boyfriend will even pay for insurance and gas and maintenance all that stuff. Why do you have to gift it to him? Why do you have to just transfer ownership? That doesn't make any sense. Anyways, OP posted an update.

So, the day after the family gathering where everyone assumed that I'd just let my boyfriend use the car for free, I had to drive into the city where I won the car to sign a bunch of paperwork and pay some fees. Both of us had the day off, so I texted my boyfriend and asked if he'd like to come along so we could walk around the city and go eat out afterwards. He agreed and I picked him up. We hadn't talked about the night before at all. He asked general questions about what I had to do today. I explained everything to him, and I also explained that the taxes on the car were going

to be several thousand dollars. But luckily, I could cover those fees with my savings until I got the money for selling the car, and hopefully it would come out to like14-15k, based on my brother's calculations. He went quiet for a minute and asked, you don't want to keep it? And I said no, that I was happy with the older, bigger car that I currently have. It better suits our needs and I can pay cheaper insurance on it because it's paid off. He said that he didn't realize the taxes would be so much. It was awkward in the car for a moment, and finally I just asked, did your family think

that I'd give you the car to use? He and his mom told everyone right before I got there that we, meaning both me and my boyfriend, won the car together and that he'd finally have something to drive. He said that he assumed that I'd want to keep the new car simply because it was new and that maybe I'd let him use my old car if he took over the insurance payments. But then he very quickly said that he didn't realize the taxes would be more than a few hundred bucks. I guess his train of thought makes sense given what he assumed about the cost. He agreed that it made the most sense to sell the new car.

I asked if he was going to explain that to his mother and he said that he would, and that she views the two of us like a married couple already because she wants that so badly for him. And she's been heavily pressuring him to propose to me. That I did not know. Neither of us are at the point where we're even remotely ready for that. We're happy with where we are right now." He promised that he'd talk to his mom and explain everything to his family, and that he wouldn't let any of them think any less of me. I was worried about that.

So we waited patiently while I dealt with the company running the raffle, and then we had a nice time strolling around the city and I treated us to a very nice dinner. Oh. Okay. and I treated us to a very nice dinner. Oh, okay, this was unexpectedly kinda wholesome and normal and people have good communication skills. What, am I on Reddit? Where am I right now? Actually, now that we understand

where the boyfriend was coming from, it's way more reasonable because at first I thought that he literally wanted you to give him the car, but now I know he wanted to borrow your old car, which is way more reasonable. OP, you might have actually found a keeper here. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.