rSlash - r/Bestof My Boyfriend Literally Only Eats Pizza

Episode Date: April 2, 2023

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For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent or... Welcome to our SlashBester Redditor updates, where OPs slowly come to the realization that her boyfriend is abusive. Our next reddit post comes from our Slash Relationship Advice. I'm a 25 year old woman, and my boyfriend, who's 25, says really mean things to me in his sleep. I need to preface this by saying that when my boyfriend is awake, he's wonderful, and I couldn't be happier. We laugh and joke all day, and spending time with him

in general is truly a joy. Yes, I mean this. No, he doesn't upset me at all when he's awake. Also, for some background, he works night shifts at a job that he really hates. So when he comes home, he just likes to relax, unwind, usually with a whiskier beer. Typically we cuddle, or I massage his legs and backs until he's drunk enough to fall asleep. And OP Claire fives. He's not an alcoholic, he doesn't need alcohol to fall asleep, he just likes to take a drink which helps him fall asleep. And OP Claire Fies, he's not an alcoholic, he doesn't need alcohol to fall asleep, he

just likes to take a drink which helps him fall asleep. I have insomnia so I usually end up staying awake for a while after he falls asleep. I'm also really sensitive to aggressive tones of voice due to some past trauma. He only really talks in his sleep if I move in the bed too quickly. He usually snaps at me saying, quit effing moving, or can you please effing stop or oh my effing god. Just things in general that give off an indication that he's really annoyed with me. There's also been a couple of unpropted times when he stirred or rolled over and said

things like, I can do better than this, etc. Because of my sensitivity, I usually end up crying over these things. I try to make it a point not to bring up the things that he says or doesn't sleep, because for one, I really don't think that he can control it. And two, when I brought up the things that he said, he always ends up feeling horribly guilty for the things he says and makes me feel guilty for saying anything. Last night, in his sleep, he ripped my blanket away from me and tucked it under himself and his own blankets.

I was really cold in the room, so I tried to take it back, but he grabbed my hand and shoved it away. I didn't want to have to wake him up, but he's a lot stronger than me, and no matter what I tried to do, I just couldn't get the blanket back. I shook him gently and kept saying, baby, can you please give me back my blanket? I was met with sleepy grunts, but he still wouldn't give it back. Finally, after a little persistence, he sat up really quickly and yelled, what do you want? Jesus you're

annoying." I said, I just want my blanket back please. He shoved it towards me and nearly knocked me off the bed and then instantly laid back down and started snoring. I didn't sleep at all last night because of this, it's really eating at me. I really don't want to be annoying to him, especially when he's trying to rest after work. But I also don't know how I can keep putting up with this. Part of me wonders if he actually means any of the things that he says. When he woke up this morning, I couldn't bring myself to say anything about it, but I also couldn't look him in the eyes. I guess my question is, am I being too sensitive? Should I bring this up to him? Then, five days later, OP posts in an update. First off, OP defends her boyfriend against people in

the comments who are accusing him of being alcoholic or abusive, and she says, no, he functions just fine without alcohol, and he doesn't have an abusive bone in his body. Then onto the update. Shortly after I made this post, I asked him if he thought that I was annoying, and he said, of course not, and asked me what prompted the question. When I brought up what he did in his sleep, he got very quiet for a short while, and then asked, why didn't you slap the bejesus out of me? Which made me chuckle quite a bit. He then went on to say that he would prefer if I tell him about the things that he says in his sleep, stressing that if he ever crosses a line like that ever again,

I have full permission to smack the life out of him, which I would never do. I asked him if it was a possibility that the alcohol was making him sleep more restlessly, and he said maybe, I don't know. I then asked him if it would be a possibility to try going a couple of nights without alcohol and he agreed. Since then, our co-sleeping has been wonderful, restful, and peaceful, except for the night before last. He shook me awake while I was sleeping and I asked him what was up. Baby, baby, I'll show you. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I asked him, and he said, I'll show you. I said, baby, are you still asleep?

And he said, yeah, I'll show you. Then he instantly started snoring again. I must have giggled myself back to sleep. Then two and a half years later, OP posted an update. Going back and reading these posts was insanely difficult. I want to kick myself for how deep and denial I was. Everyone in the comments was telling me that my boyfriend is an alcoholic and I thought so hard against that. But it was true. A few months after my last post, I had an epiphany moment. It was 3am and he was drunk. He begged

me to make him a pot of spaghetti because he liked the way I cooked it. I asked him if he would strain the pot for me because the pot that we had didn't have thermal safe handles or whatever they're called, and I would often burn myself trying to do it on my own. He grumbled for a bit and said fine, but after less than 5 minutes he said that he was going to hang out in our bedroom. I begged him not to because he would fall asleep, and trying to wake him up when he falls asleep drunk often becomes a nightmare of verbal abuse.

He insisted that he wouldn't fall asleep, but low and behold, he did. I thought to myself, great, now I get to choose between burning my hands or being berated until I cry, all over a pot of effing spaghetti. I chose to choose between burning my hands or being berated until I cry, all over a pot of effing spaghetti. I chose to burn my hands. I angrily made myself a plate and put the rest in Tupperware and reality hit. I'm just like my mom. My mom has been with an alcoholic for 13 years.

He's awful to her in so many ways, but she puts up with it because, hey, she feels like she can't do any better. And B, she believes that it's her duty as a white to just deal with it quietly. And now, I was falling down the same path. I thought that if I could just grin and bear it, he'd see how much I love him and how much I do for him and realize that he needs to put in the same effort. Boy, howdy was I effing wrong. I took off to a friend's house for the night, and he panicked when he woke up in the morning

and I wasn't there. He called me, crying, begging me to return. I unleashed all of my feelings on him, and in more words, I told him that I didn't have much of an incentive to return. And how could I know that he'd do better? His tears turned to anger, and he screamed at me through the phone. It was terrifying. I ended up going back home to collect some things, and I told him I needed to separate from

him because I didn't know how to help him anymore. And as deeply as I loved him, I couldn't stay and watch him kill himself any longer. I'll never forget the look he gave me. It was like I kicked him in the stomach. I stayed with my friend for a month or so, with little to no contact with my boyfriend. I ended up having to return to collect the rest of my stuff, and I noticed something strange. He had always been kind of a slob, leaving empty beer and liquor bottles on the floor beside his bed. But when I returned, by the side of the bed were only tea, soda,

and water bottles. His face was less sunken, and he didn't smell like beer at all. When he went to the bathroom, I took a sneak peek in his garbage can just to be sure. It was full, but there were no signs of anything alcoholic. He caught me peaking and asked what I was doing. He then told me that he hadn't touched alcohol since the day I left. I was shocked. We ended up sitting and talking for a while. He said that being sober was hard, and he had the shakes all the time, and he missed me. I missed him too. I had been infatuated with him since I was 13.

Those feelings weren't going away anytime soon. So to wrap things up, we ended up getting back together. He celebrates two years of sobriety this week. I'm so proud of him. He sleeps restfully now, and is no longer mean to me in any facet. Also, we're engaged now. Thanks for reading. I'm sorry that I thought you guys so hard, and thank you for telling me the truth even though I wasn't ready to hear it. Man, that's one of the things I love about Reddit so much. It's one of the few places

I feel like where someone can actually see reality for what it really is. OP in this story was clearly in denial and people were saying, OP, your boyfriend's an alcoholic, please look at the signs. And it's not really clear if like the spaghetti incident is what pushed her over the edge by itself or if also all those people telling OP, please look at the signs your boyfriend's an alcoholic contributed and like helped to reach that point. But still I'm so happy when I see these stories where people are like wow reddit you're right what was I thinking.

You know it gives me hope that no situation is too bad to get out of. Also OP I gotta say I'm really glad everything's working out obviously I hope your boyfriend continues to like resist the temptation of alcohol. But can you please buy like some oven mitts or like a tea towel or a dish towel or something? Why are you touching a scalding hot pot? Just wrap your hand in a towel girl. I mean I don't want to criticize you too much because you've obviously been through a lot of like abuse with your boyfriend here but come on, just buy oven mitts. If you don't have oven mitts, use fabric, a towel, something. Don't touch a scolding hot pot with your bare hands.

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Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Our next reddit post is from our slash relationship advice. I'm a 24 year old woman and I'm at Jake, who's 25 about two years ago, while out and bonding over the fact that we graduated from the same college. We went on a couple of dates and we were getting to know each other when he let me know that he had more or less eaten pizza every day for the past 3 years.

I didn't love that idea, but I thought that he was pretty cool besides that, and I figured it was just a little quirky hat and that he was exaggerating and that the dude just really liked pizza. He was not exaggerating. He eats pizza every single day without fail. Each time we go out, it has to be pizza and after a few fights here or there, it's been pretty much an unspoken understanding that when we go out, we will be getting pizza. Also, it's not just any pizza. He's even picky about his pizza. He'll make us go to a few totally inconvenient pizza places that requires a subway ride

and as far from where either of us live. We live in New York City and I'm sure that most of you know you pretty much can't pass a single block without stumbling upon a pizza place. So it's not like those places are our only options. I can name all the foods that he eats on both my hands. They're all simple carbohydrates, but pizza is his absolute favorite. The others he'll settle for if pizza isn't immediately available. No vegetables, no fruit, no protein whatsoever.

He absolutely refuses to even try them despite never trying most of them before. I've tried to gently push his boundaries, but it always fails. And the one time that we went somewhere where I wanted to go, he pouted the entire time and ordered French fries. He's promised to be more open, and that this pizza thing won't be forever, but that it's working for him now, whatever that means. He claims to be high functioning on the spectrum, which honestly, I'm not totally convinced of,

but that's another story. And that's why he can only eat pizza. This made me more cautious of discussing my issues with his diet because I know how easily he can claim that I'm insensitive to his disability and that it's something he truly can't help and he has. I do firmly believe that he has some sort of avoidant eating disorder that is clearly not debatable. I have more or less dropped it because it always starts a fight, but the resentment

is still there. I guess he thought that I got over it since I stopped bringing it up that much. And he informed me of his plan to stop eating pizza every day after 10,000 consecutive days of eating pizza. Hold up, calculator, we need the calculator. 10,000 divided by 365 is 27 years. That is 27 consecutive years.

Buddy, you're not gonna make it that long. If you eat pizza every day for 27 years, you'll be dead of a heart attack before then. He says he's going to document it on his Instagram story and show everybody his streak. He seems so proud of this idea and commitment and I'm genuinely stunned. He thinks this is just some interesting cute little tidbit about him and people will support him because you such an offbeat guy. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Taking away the inconvenience of always having to eat where he wants to eat, not being able to cook for us. Me being bored, stupid, overeating the same thing every day, it's also just simply not healthy. He claims that because he's outwardly fit, it's not a big deal, but I disagree. I was sort of putting up with this whole pizza thing at first, but after this announcement, I don't know if I can deal with this much longer.

It's inconvenient, it's unhealthy, and in my opinion, it's selfish. Everybody he goes out to eat with has to cater to a single person's self-imposed dietary restrictions. He's going to Germany with his family for vacation, and he's already mapped out the available pizza places that he can eat at. But why would you want German pizza over authentic German cuisine? It very well could be something that he can't help, and he has claimed to be getting help through therapy with it, but I'm seeing no progress.

And honestly, I don't think that he wants to, and only says that he's working on it to play Kate me. He talks about having a future with me and having kids, but there's no way I would even consider that if he continues to commit to this pizza streak. Just for the fear of setting a bad example for our kids eating habits. I've tried gently coaxing, I've tried showing him studies on how his diet affects his life and sets back his fitness goals that he's always complaining about never reaching. I've tried fighting an anger only to be told that I'm a butthole because I need to accept him as he is and that he can't help it. Maybe he's right, that

I have to accept it, or I have to move on, and at this point, I truly don't think that I can accept it. He's great in almost every other way, except for this. I feel guilty for letting it go on this long when it bothered me from the very beginning, but I can't change that now. Do I concede and let him eat whatever he wants because he's a grown man? Or should I draw this boundary and continue to push him and to push himself to give an ultimatum? Or do I just need to throw in the towel at this point and move on with my life?

I never thought I'd get so stressed out over pizza for Fsake. Ugh! Yeah, OPM with ya. This guy is a real pizza work. Then about two weeks later,.P. posted an update. This update is way more dramatic and unpleasant than I had hoped, but it is what it is. I decided to give it one last shot at broaching this issue with him and letting him know how serious it was to me.

That he needed help and so long as I saw that he was trying, that was all that I asked for. We were out to dinner. I'm sure you can all guess what we had to eat when he brought up his trip to Germany and how he would have to find a supermarket soon in order to stock up on frozen pizzas to keep his street going. I was hoping to do it after the trip so as to not ruin his good time, but I figured now was as good a time as any. I said, maybe you don't have to continue the streak. Maybe you could just try some German cuisine without worrying about having to get pizza into your diet the entire time. Have you talked with your therapist about your avoidant eating? No way! I have people depending on me to continue the streak. I don't want to let them down. I don't think anybody

really cares about this streak as much as you do. And frankly, I'm worried about you. This is really unhealthy and it's consuming your life. You're about to go to this incredible trip to Germany and the forefront of your mind is to get to a grocery store to pick up frozen pizzas. I think you really need to discuss this with your therapist again. We head back and forth the rest of our meal about his diet and how it was affecting our relationship. He doesn't think it's a problem because his health is fine. Keep in mind he's only 25. And how I'm being a busybody and I needed to mind my own business. I let him know that this is my own business because what he does affects me too. We can only go

out to eat one thing. We can never have a meal at home together, and if we did decide to move forth and have kids, the example he's setting is awful. We let go of the issue for the rest of the dinner not wanting to escalate it and aid in silence. The plan for after was for me to go back to his place where I would spend the night. The entire trip home, he was silent, but very obviously simmering while I wished that I had just gone home. I should have gone home. I guess I didn't

expect the storm that waited when I got to his place. He flipped out. He began screaming about how he was so sick of me bringing this up and how it was his life, and how I couldn't control what he did or ate. I told him that I cared about him and his health and I wanted him to recognize that what he was doing wasn't healthy. I ultimately agreed that he was right, I couldn't control what he did or what he ate, but he can't expect that I stick around and watch and enable him like I've been doing in the past.

It escalated from there, how he had been there for me the entire time when I was an active alcoholic and through my relapses. I could not and still cannot dispute that. He was. I guess the only difference between him and I is that I wanted to change. I acknowledged the issue and I knew that I couldn't go on like this any longer. I told him I was going to leave because I couldn't deal with this anymore. We kept fighting and fighting and he let me know that he would expose me. He has a blog and he told me that he would write one about what it was like to live with an alcoholic and use my name.

He said that he would share the blog post on Facebook. I completely panicked and I cried and begged that he not use my most vulnerable moments against me. He told me that if I walked out, he absolutely would. That was all I needed to hear. He was going to blackmail me. I think this snapped me awake to realize this isn't love. If he's going to humiliate me on the internet to get back at me, that absolutely isn't love. So I left. I don't have many possessions there, but he can keep them for all I care.

After I blocked him on everything, he emailed me a draft of the post and the subject was last chance. Let him post it, Effet. I can't control other people. I can only control myself and how I react. I deactivated all of my social media and I'm ready to move on with my life. It hurts that someone I trusted so much would explicitly broadcast my past, but it's a learning lesson.

Thank you all for reading. Then almost four years later, OP posted an update. So he was all talk no follow through on the blackmail. I blocked him on everything that night without warning or explanation and I never looked back. Almost four years now of no contact and I couldn't be happier. Good riddance. Did I ever mention that he threatened to unalive himself every time that I threatened breaking

up to? Good times, good times. Okay, so I want you all to know that I may, that I put in the effort to try and track down this guy's blog, but unfortunately, I couldn't find this guy's blog, probably because it's a blog about eating a pizza and it's buried so deep in Google because no one would ever want to read

that. I'm glad OP has moved on from this, but you know who we really need to hook up? This pizza guy and the mustard guy from a couple of weeks ago. Remember him, the guy who almost murdered his wife because she wouldn't eat mustard? I feel like these two guys would get along great! That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. at podcast episodes every single day.