rSlash - r/Bestof My Boyfriend Literally Thinks He's Batman

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

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Welcome to R-slashBest of Redditor Updates, where OP saves her boyfriend from getting stabbed. Our next reddit post comes from R-slash Am I the Butt Face? For context on this next post, this was written right at the start of quarantine. Am I the butthole for not letting my boyfriend be the hero while we were getting mugged at knife point? My boyfriend is a big hero fanatic and does everything in his power to be like one. It's really endearing and it's one of the many things that I love about him My boyfriend is a big hero fanatic and does everything in his power to be like one. It's really endearing and it's one of the many things that I love about him because he wants to be the good he wishes to see in the world.

But this mindset that he has is why we're fighting right now. We've been quarantining at my apartment and he suggested that we go on a night walk since we've been getting stir crazy from being inside all day. He figured that it'd be better for social distancing to go out at night. I was hesitant because we live in a bad neighborhood, but he assured me that he'd protect me. On our walk, we were cornered by a man with a knife who demanded our wallets. I remember John Malaney's street smart spit from the Netflix show and I was gonna throw my wallet past the mugger so we could run away, but my boyfriend started arguing with them and was spouting off a bunch of stuff about

justice and how the mugger wouldn't get away with this. It looked like he was getting ready to fight. I was taken aback by this and I guess the mugger was too because it gave me enough time to take the important stuff out of my wallet while he was distracted. I interrupted my boyfriend's monologue and said, take it, just don't hurt us. And through it behind the guy. When he turned, I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and we booked it back to the apartment. We got back home safely and I was relieved that we were okay, but my boyfriend was fuming. He was pissed that I interrupted him from protecting me when he could have, in his words, clearly handled it himself.

I told him that he could have gotten himself killed. He said that he was obviously stronger than the mugger and that he would have won. I explained to him that the guy had a weapon and my boyfriend didn't, so the odds were stacked against him. Not only that, but I didn't want my boyfriend to get killed over a damn wallet. We argued for longer than necessary, so I shut it down and told him that we could talk about it when our adrenaline wasn't so high. But I needed to file a police report while the event was fresh.

He stomped off to our room while I called the cops. When I... When I got off the phone, I went to lay with him, but he rolled away from me. The next day, he was still angry and had already told his friends and family about what it happened to us. I thought that they would be understanding about how I handled it, but they were mad at me for not letting him have his opportunity to be a hero. His mom even ridiculed me for emasculating him. I want to reopen the conversation so that we can understand each other and move

past it, but if he isn't receptive, I'm going to ask him to move back in with his mom. I want to understand where I went wrong if I went wrong, but honestly, I feel like he's being childish and unreasonable. I just want to know, am I the butt face or is he? Then OP posted a quick update where she said that he went to go state as mom's place and all of their mutual friends had ghosted OP except for one friend who was trying to mediate. Then OP posted another update, so my boyfriend called me last night and I answered. He asked if I was okay and how I was doing.

Then he asked if he could come over and I said that he could. I planned on bringing everything up again myself because he had been very passive aggressive and refusing to talk about it. But when he showed up, he immediately started apologizing. Everything you guys pointed out, he started agreeing with. He was saying that he was being delusional, unrealistic, that the whole hero fantasy isn't healthy, that he jeopardized my safety, and that wasn't okay. I was not prepared for this behavior, especially compared to how he had been acting all week.

We talked for hours before we went to bed together, and everything seemed like it worked out fine. I was really on the verge of ending things, so it was a relief that I didn't have to in that moment. Then this morning came, and things really hit the fan. In my previous update, I mentioned that a friend was trying to mediate. I texted that friend that things had worked out, and they said something along the lines of, I'm so glad you were able to apologize.

Hmm, some redditors had mentioned that maybe he had told them a different story, which isn't something that I looked into, but I decided to ask that friend, and oh my god, I'm glad that I did. Firstly, he told everyone that the Nightwalk was my idea. Then, apparently, according to him, we were never even mugged. Nope, apparently, according to him, I just started trash talking a stranger on the street in an attempt to make him show that he was a strong man and protect me.

And the only reason we were able to get away was because he de-escalated the situation and that it was emasculating because he was putting a situation where he felt like he was forced to fight for my honor. Are you effing kidding me? To make a long story short, he tried to play dumb and backpedal this morning when I confronted him about it. And then, when I pressed him to be honest, he snapped again and said, what was I supposed to say? The whole situation wasn't embarrassing and it was gonna make me look bad

We argued again for a bit, but I was just done I told him to leave and that we weren't going to work out He didn't have much stuff at my place So it was easy to put everything in a spare grocery bag and just toss it at him while he angrily left He's currently outside of my complex waiting for his mommy to pick him up. Sorry, I just gotta make this joke cool quick. Ha ha ha ha. To the mommy mobile. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The mental image of the mugging is so funny to me. This guy's like,

Keep me your wallet or I'll cut you. And this boyfriend is like, Hark, evil doer, you've chosen the tingle with the wrong man tonight. For I am a beacon of good and righteousness, and I will not allow this evil to go unpunished. And then the guy with a knife being like, yo, what the fuck is going on? And then to make it even funnier, the girlfriend solved the problem.

He's off mon- He's off mon- alonging about justice trying to pretend to be Batman, and she's the one who solves the problem. This honestly feels like a comedy skit, like an SNL skit or something. It's like that old saying, don't bring a moron to a knife fight.

Our next reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice. I'm a 28 year old guy and my girlfriend is 31. We've been dating for three years, and she confessed to me that she only started dating me because she knew that I had a massive crush on her for a very long time, and her roommate convinced her to go on a single pity date with me. So I've had a mega crush on my girlfriend ever since school days. We were in the same school, although she was one class ahead of me.

Now my crush was the type of crush that everyone in my school knew. Like, if I was anywhere near her, people would just give a mischievous smile to the both of us. If we were sitting near each other, then my friends would tease me mercilessly. In short, it was impossible for her to not know about it, but I never had the courage to ask her out. After school, we moved to different parts of the world for our education, and we weren't even Facebook friends. Anyways, around 3 and a half years ago, I was attending the birthday celebrations of a friend when I saw her again.

It was her alright, only she had become even more gorgeous and badass. The friend who's birthday I was attending was a mutual friend from our school, and he of course knew about my crush. There were two or three more mutual friends there who also knew, and they kept encouraging me to go and talk to her. So I finally went up to her with my heart and my mouth, and had a small talk with her. She of course recognized me from school, and we had a nice talk, and then we exchanged numbers and socials.

So with great trepidation, I did some light detective work to find out if she's single or not. To my great relief, I didn't find the presence of any guys in her feeds, so my hopes went up a little. I reached out to her to hang out, fully expecting her to turn me down, but she accepted to my great surprise. So we hung out, and I found out that we have a lot in common and then we decided for a next meetup. Things picked up from there and eventually we became boyfriend and girlfriend. She's everything I expected and more, plus she's also extremely happy with our relationship. We've been discussing marriage too. Anyway, last weekend we hosted her BFF and husband

for a dinner at our house. Her BFF is someone I'd known from our school days, and she's a good friend of mine too. After dinner, we were shooting the breeze, and except me, everyone was pretty drunk, and they were staying the night at our place. So we were talking when her drunk BFF suddenly turned her my girlfriend and said, Look how happy you are today, and I feel some sense of pride after looking at you too. I smiled and said, Well, thank you. Then she continued talking to my girlfriend and said,

You didn't even want to give this guy a chance, and only agreed when I pestered you to go on a pity date with him, and your plan was to let him down easy after that first date. But instead, you guys are sitting here talking about your future together, and it makes me so happy that I can vent you to take a chance with him. Can you imagine if you had stuck to your original plan? By now, her husband had realized the awkwardness and let her away to sleep. I could see in my girlfriend's face that she was now visibly stressed.

So we went to bid too. And when she came to bid after changing clothes, she was already in tears. She took my hand in hers and said, please don't mind her words. I asked her if that was true. And she admitted, yes, it was. She knew that I always had a massive crush on her. So when I asked her out, she didn't want to be mean by turning me down harshly, so she discussed the situation with her BFF who was also her roommate at the time. The BFF knew me, so she tried to convince her to give me a chance, but my girlfriend wasn't convinced. Finally, the BFF asked her to go on 2-3 days with me, and then let me down easy, and my

girlfriend agreed. But then my girlfriend found out that we really clicked together and wanted to continue dating. And well, here we are 3 years later. I hugged her and said it's okay. Don't worry about it too much because it's water under the bridge. But as you guys can tell, it's obviously bothering me. And I think that she started to catch on too because she's

been extra attentive and loving to me since the incident. So Reddit, on the one hand, I'm a guy who's literally going to be engaged and eventually married to my crush. And it's even better because our relationship is just how I imagined it to be only 10 times better. On the other hand, it does sting a little to know that she only agreed to go out with me because she pitted me, not gonna lie. Please knock some sense into me before I self sabotaged this wonderful relationship.

Then later that same month, OP Posts in an update. So I guess I should tell you what happened after I made the post. In the morning, the BFF apologized for her insensitive comments the night before. She said that she got too drunk and that she just wanted to take credit for setting us up and playing matchmaker, but being drunk, she blurted out some unnecessary things. I said, of course she don't have to apologize, and I should thank you for getting my girlfriend to go on that first date with me. After the BFF left, I went to my girlfriend and shared my feelings, and I asked her why she was hesitant to go out with me. She then took my hands

in hers and told me that it just felt awkward to her. She had known for years that I had a crush on her, and on top of that, I was younger than she was. Her friends from back home sometimes used to tease her about me and almost all of our mutual friends know about my crush on her. So when I asked her out she felt awkward because one, I was more into her than she was into me even before going out on a single date. And two, I had put her on a pedestal and she was certain that reality was never going to meet my fantasy. So she went into a void going through this. Also, she thought that I was a weirdo. She admitted it low.

But after her BFF went to bat for me, she decided to go out with me, and then let me down easy after like two to three dates. Then I asked, well, what changed after the first date? And she said, well, you didn't give off any weird vibes. Yes, you were very happy and nervous as a result, but I didn't get any creepy vibes from you. You were just a guy with a crush, with whom I had an insane chemistry even on the first date. And now, three years later, I think I have a bigger crush on you than you ever had on me.

After having this conversation, we went out to have dinner at the same restaurant where we had our first date, and even tried to order the same dishes, but, alas, they had discontinued one of those dishes. Oh my god. Opie, this story is getting disgusting. This perfectly rom-combed story with true love and happiness, ugh, I'm really glad that I'm in a happy relationship because otherwise, the story would be painful to get through. So then we decided to order something entirely new, which we both had never had.

Anyways, that was the update guys. Thank you for reminding me how lucky I am, Lull. Opiee, I wish you and your girlfriend all the happiness in the world in your stupidly adorable Disney romance story. Our next reddit post comes from our slash true off my chest. The title is, when people ask why I'm not in our family pictures, I'm going to tell them the truth. A couple of weeks ago, my wife asked if we could have professional family photos taken. I said that money was too tight between our daughter's birthday, a trip to her pants for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I asked her if we could wait until after Christmas

and she said no. She never brought it back up. So I didn't think anything of it because I assumed that she was planning on taking them herself. The other day, one of my tires blew out and I dipped into our emergency fund to cover it. That's when I discovered that she took $300

out of our emergency fund to pay for photos Three hundred f-ing dollars. I know it sounds pathetic, but when I saw that I broke down The last couple of years have been horrible for us. I got laid off and she got sick in the same year We eventually both found new jobs, but we never fully recovered financially It took months and months of hard work just to get our emergency fund to that point We eventually both found new jobs, but we never fully recovered financially. It took months and months of hard work just to get our emergency fund to that point. Now half of it is gone right before Christmas for f-ing photos. When I confronted her about it, she didn't even try to deny it.

She just said that she deserves to have nice photos. I begged her to try to get that money back, but she said no. The photo session she booked is next Saturday, but I won't go. She keeps threatening me, saying that people are going to ask why I'm not in them and that it's going to look bad. I'm sure she's right, but I'm counting on it. When people ask why I'm not in the photos, I'll tell them exactly what happened. I don't care if it's in-person or on her Facebook page. I'm gonna let everyone know what she did. Since having pictures to show off is more important to her than our family's safety,

it seems only right that her family and friend should know that. I feel like I'm married to a stranger. The woman I married would have never betrayed me like that. Oh jeez, this does not sound like a healthy marriage. Okay, well, let's see. One week later, OPPO sent an update. I contacted the photographer directly. I didn't think that it would work, but I decided to try it after so many people suggested it. I told my wife that I changed my mind about the photos, and I asked to see the photographers' other work. She gave me the website. Then I sent

the photographer an email explaining the entire situation. I was shocked by how understanding she was. She refunded us right away. The only catch is that my wife is banned from using her services. I had planned on sitting my wife down to talk. However, the photographer sent her an email before I could. She was pissed. She wouldn't stop yelling at me until I told her that I was considering leaving her. She calmed down after that. I told her how angry and disgusted I was that she would act so irresponsibly. I asked her why she would do something like this. She said that she deserved nice photos after the last couple of awful years. I pointed out that we both had hundreds if not thousands of family photos saved on

our phones. She said that they weren't high enough quality and that we didn't look nice enough in them. I know that a lot of you wanted me to leave her, but I can't do that. I want to see my daughter every day, not 50% of the time, I owe it to her to at least try to make this marriage work. As angry as I am at my wife, we've gone through hell together. I can't throw that away without trying to make it better. The trip to her parents isn't happening anymore. We evenly split the hundred dollars that we save for gas.

My wife can't afford the trip without my half. She's angry that I won't give her my half. I told her that when I said that we would separate finances, I meant separate finances. Besides, after paying for the tire and the tow, my half of the emergency fund is depleted. I need every dollar to build it back up again. I also want to stay in town with my parents. I suggested that she dip into her half of the emergency fund, but she told me that she already used it to book a different photographer for her and my daughter. Oh my god. Last Saturday, I borrowed a couple of sleds from a buddy of mine

and took my kids sledding. I want us to build some real memories together. Not photos posted for likes. I think that 20 years from now, my daughter will remember that more fondly than a photo shoot her mother's plan. I'm with OP on this one. When you're hurting this much financially and half your savings are already gone because of an unexpected car emergency, you can't spend the other half on photographs. OP, it kind of sounds like the only reason why you're in this relationship at this point is because you both love your daughter, even though you don't really love each other. From what I've seen in my life, I think that parents who don't love each other are generally

better off separating, and then just splitting custody or going their separate ways, because having a kid grow up in a family with two parents who don't even love each other is just a really toxic environment. Anyways, good luck OP with your family and with your finances. I hope things turn around because things are sounding really rough for you. That was our Slash Best of Reditor updates, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.