rSlash - r/Bestof My Bro Knocked Up My Wife

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:10 Paternity 12:44 Unnecessary therapy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the Power Move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch. The real Power Move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new Power Move. Welcome to R-slash Best of Redditor updates, where OPE discovers that his son is actually his brother's son. Our next Reddit post is from R-slash advice. I'm a 26-year-old guy, and I just found out that my 25-year-old girlfriend has been cheating on me with my brother, who's 29. I've been with her for about six years, and we have a four-year-old son together.

I'm now questioning paternity. I'm currently crying and drinking a fireball in my bathroom. It came out at our son's fourth birthday party a few days ago. It was at my mom's house and everything seemed normal. I was playing with my son and wanted to take a few photos, so I went inside to grab my phone. And I heard my girlfriend giggling down the hall behind a closed door. I realized I haven't seen her in maybe 20 to 30 minutes,

so I was wondering if she was just with someone or just on the phone. I went back to the party to grab a slice of cake to surprise her. When I was near the door, I kept hearing that playful, stop, girls usually do when they're flirting, and I was really confused. But I still open the door, and I see she's cuddled up on top of my brother. He was in his boxers, and her makeup looked smudged, and her shirt was on the floor. I couldn't even say anything. I just stood there like an idiot. They both immediately noticed me, and my girlfriend jumped, and immediately started explaining herself. But I was so angry, I can't even remember what she was saying. I told my uncle I have a

work emergency and I had to leave. My mom started calling me freaking out because she knows this is my week off and I rarely ever have to deal with work after hours. I didn't tell her what happened yet. I haven't told anyone because honestly my wife is my only friend. She never liked when I hung out with my boys or my childhood friends because I was taking too much attention off her and our son. The part that's now messing with me the most is our son. I know this might be a huge reach and I might just be angry, but ever since my son was born, there's been a running joke among my family that my son looks like my brother. I kind of saw it, but always dismissed it because I trusted my wife, and I knew she wouldn't do anything like that to me. My brother's always been the one to start the joke,

and my girlfriend would always laugh. A lot of things that they used to do is now becoming more clear, like the fact that once or twice a week, they often go out together, and my wife would always come back super happy and giggly. She would tell me how her day was, but when I would try to initiate intimacy later in the day, she would always say she's too exhausted. She has an insane sex drive. I'm spiraling, and I have no one in my life to turn to. My phone's been absolutely blowing up with messages from both my girlfriend, her trash friends, and my brother, but I can't even bring myself to read them. I'm spiraling, and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like the life that I've dreamt of as a kid is completely ruined, and I feel too old to restart. My life is over. Then Opie posted an update. I replied to my girlfriend. I told her we can talk in the morning, and she immediately started spam calling me, but I ignored all of them and kept it short with her. As for my brother, I simply told him that if he died, nothing in my life would change. My brother and I had never been particularly close, but he was still considered my best friend. He helped us out when my girlfriend was going through postpartum,

and gave me a bro talk when she was diagnosed with many mental disorders. I feel absolutely disgusted that I let him get that close to us. And I feel even more stupid for not noticing the most blatantly obvious red flags. I'm still unable to afford a lawyer. Most of my savings would be wiped. I've never had to deal with legal stuff, so all I've been doing is searching cheap lawyers on Google. Part of me still wants her to be my official wife,

and I've been looking at pictures of our son, trying to convince myself that he looks like me. But it's getting so much harder. I'm so broken, and I have nothing else. If he's not my son, I don't know what I'll do with myself. I plan on telling my mother and father first before she gets the chance to spin the story. And hopefully, I can come back in a few days or weeks with an update as I read that paternity test take a long time. Then one day later, Opie posted an update. I can't believe this is genuinely my life right now. Everything I've ever had fell apart in two hours. After I made the post, I decided to call a meeting with my family and my ex. I told them I wanted to talk about something serious and had them all come over to my place. My mom, dad, brother, and ex all showed up.

My son was with my cousin for the day. I sat everyone down and just told them straight up what I saw at the party. My brother immediately jumped in saying that it was a misunderstanding. She was feeling ugly and lonely that it was nothing. He was talking so fast it was obvious he was lying. He was My mother then started crying, and my father didn't say anything. I just sat there and waited for my ex to say something. I rehearsed so many ways of how this conversation could probably go, and I listened to a lot of advice in my other post, but all I got out was, is my son mine?

All she could effing say was, I don't know, and started crying. My heart dropped. I asked how long this has been going on, and she said that it started around the time that we were trying for a baby. So basically, since the beginning, I've basically been raising my nephew for four years. I can't get into too much detail at this point, because I barely remembered what happened. All I remember is both me and my brother on the floor, and we're both bloody. I started screaming for all of them to get out, as my ex started crying saying she's sure our son is ours.

But I have zero reason to believe it's mine, and I'm done. I've spent my entire life dreaming of building a huge family. We were supposed to be trying for another baby in a few months, and my entire life is just falling apart in such a short amount of time. I don't even know what advice I could possibly get at this point. I've already made an appointment for a paternity test against her wishes, but I can't even think right now. My life is done and over with. Then one month later, Opie posted an update. The DNA test came back.

My son is not mine. I feel like my whole chest collapsed when I read that. I sat in my car holding that paper until the sun went down, and I couldn't even drive home. I've been raising my brother's kid this whole time. I felt a mixture of relief because part of me accepted it might be his, but my heart is absolutely shattered. The fallout was a mess. There was yelling, crying, everyone talking at the same time. My ex was on her knees, begging me not to leave her, saying she'd do anything. My brother was red in the face, screaming that the kid was his and that,

I ruined his life, what? My mom was crying, telling me that I was tearing my family apart. I just stood there shaking, my hands in my hair, trying to breathe while they all closed in on me. I've never felt so small in my own life. It was like the whole world turned on me in one night. I told my ex that were over, and I didn't care what she did with the kid. I feel guilty about this, because I feel already so emotionally detached from this. After that, everything just got worse. My brother showed up drunk at my buddy's house a few days later, pounding on the door and screaming that I stole his family. He was yelling that the kid was his and he deserved to be with his real dad. I told him to leave, and he tried to fight me right there in the yard until the cops came and dragged him off.

I've never seen someone so pathetic in my life. My ex hasn't stopped trying to get me back. She's been showing up crying, saying she can't live without me, begging me to forgive her. Last week, she called me at 2 a.m. saying she was going to kill herself if I didn't come over. I didn't go. I can't anymore. I don't even know if it was real or just another way to guilt trip me. I got a few messages from her friends saying I'm a piece of trash for abandoning a child and leaving my ex to suffer alone. I don't even understand why I'm the one receiving all the backlash. My father is the only one who refuses to speak on the situation. The part that hurts the most is my mom. She told me if I don't take my ex back and fix the family, she doesn't want anything to do with me.

My own mother chose my cheating ex and my brother over me. She said that I was abandoning my son. I had to remind her that he isn't mine and she hung up on me. I haven't heard from her since. I feel like I lost everyone. My brother, my mom, my ex, my son. I've been drinking too much just to fall asleep and every morning I wake up feeling worse. I don't recognize my life anymore.

Then, nine months later, Opie posted an update. The paternity test eventually came back and confirmed what I was already bracing myself for. He wasn't my son. That was probably the hardest sentence that I've ever read in my life. For a long time, I didn't even know what to do with that information. I'd spent four years raising him, building my entire identity around being his dad.

And then suddenly, that reality just stopped existing. I wish I could be cool and say I'd call. crashed out and tore everyone's life apart, but sadly, this is real life. I didn't do anything. I couldn't do anything but cry. I'd been getting extreme hate for this decision, despite raising him for four years. But I'm not interested in staying in his life, and I haven't seen him in seven months. It's been hard. It's disgusting and selfish of me to abandon a little child like that. But every time I looked at him, all I saw was my brother's face. It got to the point where I was having disgusting thoughts of hurting the kid. So I eventually had to get myself voluntarily admitted for

72 hours due to how scary those thoughts were, which led me to not seeing him again. My brother disappeared and refused to step up. He won't claim the kid, won't help, nothing. Last I heard, he basically denies responsibility whenever it comes up. That alone told me a lot about the kind of person he is, and I don't have a brother anymore as far as I'm concerned. There's been absolutely zero communication between us. My parents chose to keep trying to fix the family and push forgiveness instead of holding anyone accountable. They kept inviting me to dinners with him, telling me, blood is blood, and saying I should move on for the sake of peace. Eventually, I realized they cared more about pretending things were normal than what actually happened to me. I cut them off completely. Haven't spoken to them in months,

and honestly, my life has been quieter because of it. Not to demonize religion, but both of my parents are hardcore Christians and often try to keep up looks for their church. They've told them a watered down version of events, but I truly can't care enough to get the real story out to them. As for my ex, she's basically couch surfing now. Friends places, relatives, wherever she can stay temporarily. I don't really keep tabs on her, but that's what I hear through mutual people. I don't hate her the way I did in the beginning anymore. Mostly, I just feel nothing. After the paternity test, I completely ghosted her. She came with her parents to pack all of her stuff together,

while I, which was admittedly a butthole move, was on the couch watching to catch a cheater on full volume. Didn't look or talk to her once. I've last heard that she's constantly jumping relationships, in and out of hospitals, and keeps fighting for my brother to come back. What kind of hurts about this is after the paternity test, everyone seemed to gravitate more towards my brother stepping up

instead of seeing if I was okay. My ex only bombarded me with hateful messages before I blocked her. No apologies, lack of sympathy, just nothing. I don't know where she is now. My life now is simple. I wish I could say my life bloomed, that I found love, found a great job. But sadly, I'm still at the same boring job I had when I wrote the original post. The only difference is I got promoted to a position that's, I guess, okay.

Nothing glamorous, but it pays a bit more and keeps me busy. Routine ended up being one of the only. only things that helped me stabilize. Mentally, I'm still repairing myself. The first few months were brutal. Therapy helped a lot. So did time, even though everyone hates hearing that. I still think about the kids sometimes, and that part will probably always hurt.

But the constant spiral I was in back then isn't my daily reality anymore. I feel like this is the perfect situation where you just move to another country, change your name, and change your number, and never turn back. Everything that happened here, the way Opie's family treated him, there's no coming back from. So I would walk away and never look back. Our next Reddit post is from R slash legal advice. My daughter is six and just started first grade. My school brought in a wildlife instructor to show them some animals.

My daughter hates snakes, and that was one of the animals they brought. The instructor told her to touch the snake. She said no. The teacher also told her to touch the snake. She said no again. Both the instructor and the teacher began pressuring her to touch the snake and told her they wouldn't move on until she did. She started crying and ran out into the hallway. She stayed in the hall right outside the door.

This is the story from the teacher, FYI, so I know my daughter isn't lying or exaggerating. I got called into school and the principal said that running out of class without permission is an automatic two-week suspension? When I heard the story, I asked why they didn't just let her not touch the sun. snake. It seems to me that she had a fairly expected reaction for a six-year-old in that situation. They said they were doing exposure therapy and were working to make sure she got over her irrational fears. I asked if there was any way they could change the suspension, since I can't afford unexpected child care for two weeks. They said they would waive it if I could show proof of her getting therapy for her fear of snakes? Frankly, I can't afford therapy, and even if I could,

there are many things that my daughter could make better use of than therapy for a fear of snakes when we live in a city and rarely encounter snakes. I'm furious with the school and also at a loss. Can the school put her through exposure therapy without my permission? Would a lawyer help me get her back into school? Are there any legal remedies here? Please help. Then three weeks later, Opie posted an update. After I read everything, I called and emailed the superintendent describing what had happened. I got a call back almost immediately, and after I explained the situation, the superintendent told me that she had to call the principal, but there was no way my daughter was suspended for two weeks. I got a call about an hour later, letting me know that my daughter could come back to school the next day, and would

be placed in a different class. I received apologies from the district and from the principal himself, though I figure that's probably not a genuine apology, but whatever. You know, the weird thing about this is it seems to me that one of the lessons schools should teach young kids, especially young girls, is no means no. If you don't want to touch something, then that's okay. Isn't that the much more valuable lesson than touching a snake? I think this has nothing to do with snakes and fears of snakes and everything to do with a power-tripping teacher and a power-tripping principal and a superintendent who was scared of a lawsuit. That was our slash best of Reddor updates. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every

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