rSlash - r/Bestof My Brother Proposed to MY Fiancé

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:10 Two brothers 3:07 Update in comments 6:31 Update 2 8:48 Update 3 11:01 Update 4 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to R-Slash Best of Redditor Updates, where OP's mom attacks his fiance and tries to claw her face off. Our next reddit post comes from R-Slash off my chest. I'm a 28 year old man and my brother Mark is 26. Mark used to date my fiance, Jin, who's 26 a year ago. They were only together for a month before he broke things off with her because he was bored of being in a relationship and never really wanted to settle down anyways. At the time that they were dating, I was in a different state, so I had no idea he even had a girlfriend and I had no idea who Jin was until I met her. Jin and I met at a bar when I moved back in October and hit it off really well. She was easily the most beautiful and intelligent woman I've ever met, and we met up a few

more times and made it official. Fast forward to December, and I finally bring her to my family and have them meet her at Christmas. They knew that I was in a relationship, but I'm not the most open person about my personal life, so I kept details about her to a minimum until I knew how serious we really were. My parents asked to see pictures, and they started passing my phone around the dinner table. Mark saw the picture of her, and blew up at me, calling me a garbage brother for dating his ex-girlfriend, and demanded I break it off with her. I refused.

When I asked Jen about it, she confirmed they dated and gave me the details about their breakup. It took a few weeks, but eventually Mark stopped bringing up me dating his ex and I thought that he was over it. On Jen's birthday this year, I took her out to a fancy dinner with both of our families and her closest friends and I asked her to marry me. Mark once again flipped out and blew up about me proposing to her, which me and my sisters immediately shut down. The incident happened this past weekend. Mark had been pretty quiet about the whole thing for the past two months.

I didn't see him much, and I figured that he went low contact with me, which I had no problem with. Then he invited me, Jin, my parents and sisters to his place for family dinner. I thought it was weird, but my parents and sisters were also going, so we agreed to go. The dinner was nice, nothing too fancy, and we moved to the living room to talk. About 30 minutes into normal conversation, Mark stood up and told us he had an announcement. He made this long speech about being happy to have his family around for this big moment, then got down on one knee and pulled out this cheap ring while asking Jinda to marry him.

Jinda was confused and obviously uncomfortable and demanded that he put it away and stand up. My dad tried to grab Mark, but I got to him first and punched him. I won't repeat most of what happened, mostly because I was too angry to even listen to most of it. But he said something along the lines of wanting to show me that Jin wasn't really into me and just wanted to get back at him. Before things could get worse, my parents rushed me out and promised to talk to him. It's been a few days since that happened, and I'm still pissed off. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm scared that Jin might have second thoughts marrying me because of this. Any advice? In the comments, people are

asking OP questions, and I'd like to add a few clarifying details. First of all, OP is the one who approached Jin, not the other way around. Also, according to OP's fiance, she can't stand Mark either, so OP doesn't think that she'll go running back to him. Then two days later, OP posted an update. I called Mark and asked him to meet up with me at my place to talk. I told him that I would prefer Jin to be around for this talk as well, but I'd be cool if he didn't want her to be there. He agreed to talk with both of us and showed up at my place around noon today. It was pretty quiet for a few minutes before I started

the conversation. I apologized for not warning him that I'd be proposing to Jen and I apologize for hitting him. He said it was whatever, but he appreciated the apology. I told him what Jen had said about the relationship and the breakup when I asked her about it and I asked him to confirm if it was true. I said that his reaction throughout this whole thing was extreme, and I wanted to make sure that I wasn't misunderstanding their relationship or downplaying how serious they were. He confirmed that they only dated for a few weeks, and he broke up with her because he lost interest.

Gin asked if he was acting like this because he still had feelings or regrets about ending things with her. He said that he couldn't admit that he thought that she was much more attractive than when he last saw her, but there weren't any feelings or regrets. He said that he just didn't like seeing a girl he dated, even if it was short term, with his older brother, and as a man, I shouldn't have violated him by pursuing things with his ex. I reminded him that I had no idea they dated, so it wasn't like I consciously did this knowing their history together.

He shrugged me off and said that it didn't matter, that I still should have broken it off. He was adamant that if the roles were reversed, he would have done the same thing, which I doubt. I asked him why he proposed to Jin if he didn't have any lingering feelings, and he said that he was talking about it to one of his buddies who was around when Mark and Jin dated. And his friend put the idea in his head that maybe Jin knew that I was Mark's brother from the start, and this was Jin's way of getting back at my brother, considering she still had feelings after things ended.

He and his friend thought that it would be a good idea to test it out and see if they were right, so he came up with the idea to propose and see if she dumped me for him. Jen asked him to elaborate why he thought that she was still hung up on him. He told her that he had heard that she was asking about him following the breakup and still hanging out at the places they used to go to, so it was a valid assumption. Then, for her to pop up randomly with his brother, confirmed his suspicions. Jen told him she'd only asked about him once following the breakup,

and she hung out at those places because she had been hanging out at those places since before they started dating. She also told him that she was offended at the idea that she would go as low as to pursue me just to get back at him. He shrugged and gave her a half-hearted apology, but said that she has to see it from his point of view. He asked her if she really didn't know that we were brothers.

She told him that she didn't see the resemblance until we were both in the same room, and we act nothing alike so it never crossed our mind. He said okay. That pretty much wrapped up the conversation. He did tell me before he left that I could take back his invite to the wedding because he can't bring himself to support our relationship knowing that he used to date her. I told him he didn't have to worry because he was most likely going to be uninvited anyways. Then two months later, OP posted an update. So I've been low contact with Mark since our last conversation. I haven't called him and he hasn't called me and our only interactions have been in family settings.

As it stands, my mom is now upset that Mark is still uninvited from my wedding. It started with a comment made during my younger sister Sophie's 22nd birthday. Her boyfriend of four years proposed to her at the end of the night and we sat around talking about what she envisioned for her dream wedding. She said, O.P., I know that Mark has banned from your wedding, but you won't care if he comes to mine, right? I laughed it off and told her that I can't get mad about our guest list even if I wanted to. My mom gave me this weird look and asked if Mark was still not invited to my wedding. I told her yes and she got irritated.

She told me that she thought that I was joking and said that I was being unreasonable to go through with banning him from the wedding since he's family. She accused me of holding a grudge just to be petty. I reminded her that he and I agreed on him not coming. I then reminded my mom that this was not the time to talk about my wedding since we're

supposed to be celebrating my sister. Sophie laid into my mom a bit about trying to make her special day about Mark and my mom dropped the issue. For those of you who might be wondering, Mark wasn't at Sophie's party because apparently he had to work and couldn't make it. A few days later, my mom stopped by my house and said that she wanted to discuss my wedding. She asked me why I was so adamant about Mark not coming to my wedding. We got into an argument and she said that if I wasn't going to re-invite Mark, then

she wouldn't be coming either because I'm ostracizing her son. I shrugged and told her that if that's what she wants, then she can toss her invite in the trash because I won't beg her to be there. She asked me if I would really be okay with her not attending and I told her this wouldn't be the first time you missed an event of mine because of Mark. She said that I was being a butthole for throwing her past mistakes in her face and she stormed out. I then started getting messages and phone calls from her and a few family members about

the whole situation saying that I was in the wrong and urging me to invite Mark just to keep the peace. Jin also started getting messages from my mom, asking her to talk to me and get me to change my mind to my knowledge, Jin hasn't been responding. Then, two weeks later, OP posted an update. My mom is uninvited from the wedding indefinitely. So my mom stopped by and said that she wanted to clear the air and talk about everything. We agreed and invited her to join us for dinner. I asked her if she was still planning on not coming to the wedding.

She said that while she wants to, she can't get over me not inviting Mark because of a simple mistake. I reminded her that his simple mistake was proposing to my fiance with me setting less than three feet away from her, and she said that it was just a joke. Turns out, my mom came by because she thought that I was going to be at work, and she was hoping to talk to Jin to get Jin to convince me to let Mark come to the wedding. Jin politely told my mom that she understood her thought process, but she wouldn't have had that conversation with her anyways without me present since it's about my brother. Then my mom called Jin Spineless, which started a pretty heated back and forth between the three of us before Jin told her to get out.

My mom started screaming at her, yelling about tearing our family apart. Then when Jin unlocked the front door, my mom grabbed her hair and pulled her to the ground still screaming. When Jin unlocked the front door, my mom grabbed her hair and pulled her to the ground still screaming. My mom hit Jin and tried to claw her face, but I dragged my mom off of her and threw her outside. My mom banged on the door for a few minutes while I made sure that Jin was okay while my mom was calling for both of us repeatedly.

When I was sure that Jin was okay, I texted my mom and told her not to bother reaching out again because we will never speak to her again. I called my dad and sisters and told them what happened to. My dad was surprised and tried to make excuses saying that she'd been stressed out about the whole situation for a while. My sister said that they knew that she'd snap eventually since she's always been a crazy B-word, and they stopped by to make sure the gen was okay. I asked Jin if she wanted to press charges, but she declined and said that she only wanted to cut contact with my mom for good. I told her that part was obvious, but that we should still talk to the cops since she was physically assaulted. My mom is now blocked on everything until Jin says otherwise.

Then OP posted an update, which isn't really an update, it just goes back into the backstory of why the mom is so crazy. Like some of you have said, Mark was the golden child. Mark was Mom's baby boy, and she didn't do much to try to hide it. My parents didn't spend much time with my sisters and I, but they would spend time with Mark as often as possible, like taking him out shopping while we were home with a babysitter, or gifting him his favorite food and toys. He usually got better things compared to the rest of us, like expensive clothes,

while ours were thrifted, or he would get new toys for him compared to old toys for the rest of us that we had to share. If me and my sisters got gifts, they were for us to share, but mom made it very clear that Mark's things were only for him and that we shouldn't touch them. Whenever Mark would screw up, I would get punished for not being a good role model and showing him the proper way to behave. For example, Mark went through this phase of breaking his toys, and I got the beating because obviously he learned that behavior from me. When he was 8, Mark got in trouble at school for trying to push a kid down the

stairs. I was, what? I was grounded for 2 weeks and told to apologize to the kid for not teaching my brother right from wrong. When I turned 13, I pushed for my parents to start giving me an allowance. They agreed as long as I did household chores like mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, raking leaves, etc. It was usually somewhere around 25 bucks a week. Mark saw that I was getting money and he begged my parents for an allowance too. Instead of making him work too, my parents gave $10 of my allowance money to him each week. Because quote, we were doing such a good job with our chores that he never touched. Whenever I asked him to help, he would tell me that it wasn't his job to do chores, so

why should he bother? It was around this time that I started really distancing myself from my brother. By the time that I entered high school, we only talked to each other when we needed small favors or when we absolutely had to. I got my first job when I turned 17, because I wanted to finally get my own car and make money that they couldn't force me to give to Mark. My older sister Maggie helped me start a bank account and showed me how to properly budget and save my money.

I got my first car at the age of 18 after lots of hard work. When Mark got his license, my parents asked me to let him use my car to get around for extra practice behind the wheel. Reluctantly, I agreed, and for a while, the arrangement was fine. When Mark asked my parents to buy him his own car, my mom came to me and told me to give him my car because he needed it more. When I refused, she threatened to kick me out. We got into a fight, which ended with her giving Mark my car and taking me to transfer ownership of it to him. Since I didn't have anywhere else to live at the time, I just sucked it up and signed it over. When I graduated high school, both of my parents

skipped my graduation because Mark didn't want to sit in a long ceremony just to see me get a piece of paper. And my mom didn't want to leave him alone for the night. So I only had the support of my sisters and my aunt and uncle who wanted to take me out. My aunt and uncle ended up having to bring me home early because my parents wanted to make me dinner to make it up to me. It was a dinner that I couldn't eat because my mom put shrimp and chicken on the same serving dish, and I'm allergic to shellfish. This doesn't even scratch the surface of everything they put me through, and it took me a long time for me to even begin to let them back into my life. I hope this shed some light on some of the questions that I've been seeing pop up. Yes, OP, this definitely shed some light on

the situation. Your family is mega toxic with the exception of your sisters who seem great. It's no wonder Mark acted like such a spoiled brat because he is a spoiled brat. That was our Slash Best of Redditor updates and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.