rSlash - r/Bestof My Cheating Fiancé Wants an Open Relationship

Episode Date: November 26, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash best of redditor updates, where OP throws away her family and gets a divorce over an abortion. Our next reddit post is from our slash pro life, so I guess let that subreddit title serve as a trigger warning as well. My 20 year old daughter, Lily, is in her sophomore year of college at an Ivy League school out of state where she got scholarships and financial aid, and she got pregnant by her boyfriend, Matt Matt who she then discovered is cheating on her. She dumped her boyfriend for cheating. Now she plans to abort the baby that she's 10 weeks pregnant with. I'm devastated because my husband and older daughter, Cara, who's 22, planned to help her do this despite my objections that
Starting point is 00:00:43 it's wrong of Lily to abort her baby out of inconvenience. I thought that we were a Catholic family, that like all Mexican families puts family above everything. But, my husband in particular is doing this thing where he's justifying and rationalizing the abortion because it's Lily and I don't want her life to be ruined. Lily said that she deserves a better baby daddy and a better situation if she has kids in the future.
Starting point is 00:01:08 And she got angry when I told her that the time for her to decide if she was willing to have him as the father of her child was before she passionately hugged him. But she got really mad at me and said that it's not her fault that she was lied to and cheated on. I don't disagree with that, but disliking that Matt cheated isn't a justifiable reason to murder a child. My husband said that having the baby will ruin Lily's life. I said that this doesn't have to. I told Lily that what we can do is have her transfer here to a nearby state college. Then I can
Starting point is 00:01:42 drop down to part-time work to help while she continues school and we can raise the baby together. She told me no effing way because I'm not going to Arizona State where effing anyone can get in instead of this Ivy League school. I got a pause here if anyone out there is listening from Arizona State. Sorry about the shade that the story is throwing on you. Kind of undeserved if you ask me. Anyway, she continued. There's a big difference in prestige between those two schools, and I don't want to give up where I'm going. I told her that actions have consequences, and Kara went off on me, saying that I sound like a crazy forced birther. Lily said that she doesn't want to raise the child, and then I told her
Starting point is 00:02:22 that she needs to take responsibility for passionately hugging and she rolled her eyes at me. Then she said, Join us in 2022 where people don't have to be moms until they want to and I don't want to right now, I'm only 20. Lily wants to go to an Ivy League law school and then move to New York City and she said that a baby would totally mess that up. I offered to adopt the baby and raise it for her. Just please don't murder the baby. Lily said, I do not want to be pregnant with this effing baby and I'm getting rid of it. You need to accept that and she hasn't talked
Starting point is 00:02:57 to me in three days. This is driving a huge wedge between both my husband and I, Kara and I, and Lily and I, and I'm at a loss of what to do. Please pray for my family. I also don't know if I can stay in my marriage if my husband follows through with this promise to drive Lily back to her college, take her to get the abortion, and help her out for a few days while she recovers. Then three days later, OP Posts in an update. My husband and my oldest daughter, Kara, drove my pregnant 20-year-old daughter, Lily,
Starting point is 00:03:29 back to college while I was at work yesterday. They just informed me that Lily had a surgical abortion today, and it went safely, and she's now recovering. My precious first-grandbaby was murdered. My other two daughters, who are younger, and my son, whose 12, found me sobbing. My 16-year-old daughter, Andy, said, This is the best thing for Lily, while Emma, whose 14, said, I don't think that I could have an abortion personally, but it was Lily's body,
Starting point is 00:04:00 and it's her choice, mom, you need to get over it. I haven't spoken to my son about it. I am so devastated that I basically have four daughters convinced by the world that it's okay to have consensual passionate hugging and then murder the child they create just so they can stay at a certain college or because they don't want to get fat and covered in stretch marks. I'm horrified at how selfish my daughter has become, choosing baby murder over the temporary inconvenience of pregnancy, choosing an Ivy League school and killing her baby over finishing college in Arizona and giving life to the child that she made through consensual passionate hugging.
Starting point is 00:04:37 I'm heartbroken, and my husband aided and abetted her. I've never wanted to be a divorcee, but I don't think that I can stay in the relationship. And Andy and Emma have told me that they wanna live with that if I do get a divorce because I'm being so backward and controlling. Please keep praying. I feel so lost. I feel like Jesus and the Virgin have forsaken me.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Then about six months later, OP Posts and an update. My relationship with my husband has been strained ever since then, and he started talking about divorce because I'm an unsupportive mother. My two oldest daughters have become huge pro-abortion activists since the fall of Ro. My daughter, who had the abortion, went to this huge protest in New York City with a sign that said, my abortion was the best choice I've ever made. She posted it on Instagram. She wrote in the comments that she was 20, still in college, and newly single, and her life would have been over if she was forced to have a baby.
Starting point is 00:05:38 She made no mention of the fact in that post that she willingly took the risk of making that person. I replied to her post listing all the help that I offered her because she was painting herself like her life would be over and she'd be living in a box with no money to feed her baby if she had it. She deleted my comment and told me, watch it or I'll block you from my social media. I've been told that both her and my oldest daughter have been making disgusting pro-row TikToks.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I barred my youngest daughter from looking at their social media, but my husband overruled me. I'm trying to raise my children in the faith, like we pledged to on our wedding day, but he doesn't care. All four of my daughters are pro-choice. I don't understand where I went so very wrong raising them. I did everything I could to teach in the value of life, faith, and family. I asked my daughter who aborted how she would explain this content to her kids in the future. And she rolled her eyes and said that she never once kids
Starting point is 00:06:37 because she'd rather travel, have a career, and make money, and kids are annoying and she doesn't want to end up like me. Which broke my heart because I've dedicated my life to being a good Catholic and a good mother and doing the right things and my kids are abandoning our family values. Oh my god. Look, I try to reserve commentary for the end of the story, but like what so I just got to interject here. My kids are all abandoning our family values. Lady, your entire family does have a set of values.
Starting point is 00:07:09 It's you who's abandoning your family and it's you who's abandoning your family's values. What you really mean to say is your children are abandoning your values. I just wanna clear that up because what you said is completely wrong and a lie and she doesn't know what she's talking about. I mean, like, this isn't even really a pro choice versus pro life argument.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Even if you're like vehemently pro life and you're listening to this story and you're frothing at the mouth, okay, fine. The issue is OP's entire family has decided that they're pro life, the oldest daughter, the second oldest daughter, the third oldest daughter, and the fourth oldest daughter, and the husband have all decided that their pro-life. And OP is like, I can't believe they're abandoning our family values. Lady, come on, they're not abandoning family values, it's just that your family has different values than you. So actually, technically, they're not abandoning you, you're abandoning them.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Right, the same would be true, even if OP was the one pro choice person and the rest of her family was all pro life. You can't be all upset that your entire family is different values than you and then be like, how could you abandon me? It's like, come on, you're the black sheep here, not them. Then, one month later, OP posted another update. My family has been ripped apart as they've abandoned our faith and values.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Now my husband wants to divorce me. I reminded him that we're Catholic and don't do that, but still he wants to proceed. I'm so lost, please pray for me. Okay, I don't want this video to become this like big pro life versus pro choice debate. I'll just say very briefly that I personally in pro choice I completely support a woman's right to choose. But like I want to
Starting point is 00:08:53 talk about this not from like a is it okay to abort or not abort angle. I want to talk about this from like the actual situation that OP is in. So like yeah my argument doesn't really apply to pro choicechoice or pro-abortion. Like, here's the weird thing. She keeps going on and on about how you have a responsibility to a child. But then like she has a child, she has five kids, and her kids make choices that she disagrees with,
Starting point is 00:09:17 and her response to that is just be like, oh, whoa is me. The world is falling apart. The sky is on fire. Everything's awful. How could this have happened? Well, it happened because you have kids, and when you have kids, they don't always agree with you.
Starting point is 00:09:30 So like, you know, what are you gonna do about it? And again, this applies to like all situations. If OP was the one pro choice person, and all of her family became pro lifers, and she vehemently disagreed with that, the point is, still her argument stands that once you have a baby, you have to be responsible for it and you have to care for it and support it. And she's just not doing that. Her position seems to be that once you get pregnant,
Starting point is 00:09:54 you have to follow through, but then once the baby's born like who cares? So she's not even being consistent with her own argument. Lady, you had a daughter, which means it's your responsibility to support your daughter. Sometimes your daughter is going to do something that's going to piss you off or even break your heart. But still, to use your own words, she's your kid and she's your responsibility. Our next reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice. My fiance wants to try and open relationship before we get married. I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm a 25 year old woman, and I've been in a relationship with my fiance, a 24 year old
Starting point is 00:10:33 man for three years. He proposed to me a few months ago, and I was so excited. I really feel like he's the one for me, and he's amazing in so many ways, and I genuinely feel like he feels the same way, or at least I did. Last night we ordered takeout for dinner and we were going to watch the newest rings of power episode. He was acting incredibly weird, not very talkative and very fidgety.
Starting point is 00:10:58 He usually sits pretty still or relaxed, but he kept bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers. Eventually, about halfway through the episode, he pauses and says that he wants to talk about something extremely important. He sounded so nervous and I immediately got this sinking feeling, but I told him everything was okay, just tell me what's going on. He said that this had been on his mind for a while and he didn't know if it was just the nerves of realizing he's about to be married, but he realized that I'm his first real relationship. Before me, he had only dated a couple people in high school and it was never long lasting.
Starting point is 00:11:35 I asked him where he was going with this and he started crying. He said that he was scared that since he didn't have a lot of experiences with other people, he was worried if he was making the right decision. Obviously, that effing hurt to hear, but I didn't say anything. After dancing around the subject for a bit, he finally just said that he was thinking an open relationship would be good for us, at least for a little bit. Honestly, the second half of this conversation was a blur because my anxiety was so bad I was hardly listening. He said that he loved me and he knows that he wants to marry me no matter what,
Starting point is 00:12:11 but he wants to see what other people were like before getting into a lifelong marriage. He cried throughout the whole conversation and he kept reassuring me that I wasn't the problem. He said that he just wanted to experience other people since he never really was able to before. He said that if I agreed to an open relationship, there would be lots of rules in place, and it would all be very safe. I feel like our relationship is ruined. I am obviously not okay with an open relationship. He said that I could see other people too, but I don't want to. I only have eyes for him. I only want him. I only love him." He kept saying that I have every right to say no, and he would understand, and he would
Starting point is 00:12:50 never make me do something that I didn't want to. But the thing is, since he brought this up, if I say no, then I'm constantly going to think that he's seeing other people anyways. It's already happening. I used to have complete trust in him, but now I can't stop thinking if he's already seeing other people. Maybe he's bringing this up because he cheated on me and he needs an excuse now. I don't know, my mind is everywhere, I don't know what to do. I told him I would think about it and he hugged me. He didn't let go for a long time. I slept on the couch last night. I told him that I just needed to be alone. And he advises so appreciated. Then about four days later, OPPO sent an update. Well, the update isn't great. We called off the engagement and broke up. He swears up and down
Starting point is 00:13:37 that he didn't do anything, but he confessed that he brought it up because he had a crush on someone and wanted to try it out. I asked him what made him start thinking about it, and at first he went right back to his experience BS. I told him that if he wanted to experiment sexually, I'd be more than happy to try some things out, and that I was not going to be accepting that as his answer. After a while, he caved and admitted that a girl who works at a coffee shop that he visits often asks for his number and that's when he started to think about it. I was heartbroken and angry to say the least. He said that if we got into an open relationship, people we knew would be off limits. He said that she didn't count as someone he knew because he wasn't friends with her
Starting point is 00:14:20 and she was technically a stranger. I told him that he did know her because he goes almost every day and she's very friendly with us, but either way it didn't matter. He had already told me that there was no one he had in mind and he lied to me. After some more arguing and crying from both of us, he told me that if I didn't want the open relationship, then to just say no and we can move on from this. He was basically begging me to not talk about it anymore. He just wanted to move on.
Starting point is 00:14:48 I told him that it wasn't that easy because I straight up don't trust him anymore. As far as I know, he could have already experimented with her. He promised me that he never cheated on me and never will. He said that he would never go to that coffee place again, and if he saw her, he would ignore her. I told him that he could go see other people. I just wouldn't be in the picture. He got frantic and asked me if I was breaking up with him, and I said yes. I told him a year from now, or even a couple of years from now, after he gets all of his experience out of his system, and I'm still single and interested, we can try again.
Starting point is 00:15:24 From the beginning, with no engagement. I personally don't see us getting back together, but he was crying and clinging to me. Honestly, I'm disgusted. I'm mostly sad though. Heartbroken, pissed off, lost, confused, anxious. We had our whole life planned out and ready for us, and it got ruined by a stupid, epping crush that he had the nerve to ask to try out because of lack of experience. I'm hitting out in a bit to get drunk with some girlfriends.
Starting point is 00:15:52 I know a few people wanted an update. I'm sorry it wasn't very happy. Thank you everyone for the advice. Opie, I wouldn't get too stressed out about it, because if you're a three-year relationship, can't withstand one girl asking your boyfriend for his number, then I don't think your marriage would have lasted either. That was our slash best of redditor updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.
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