rSlash - r/Bestof My Dad is 10 Years Younger than Me

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

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Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates where OP's 60 year old mother is dating a 24 year old guy. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 35 year old man. My mother is 58. My mom's new fiance wants me to call him dad, but he's 24. Please buckle up because this is all so weird. I'm a 35 year old man and for some backstory, my dad died when I was 19, leaving my mom with me and my two siblings. I'm the oldest. It took some time, but eventually my mom started dating again.

We don't live together per se, but our house is back onto each other and they have a gate, so it's pretty common for her to offer to do my laundry, or to just come over for dinner or to look after our dog. That kind of stuff. Plus, me and my siblings go over to her place for dinner every other Friday night or so. A bit after she started dating, the men she's been dating have been getting younger and younger and I've never had a problem with them. She's been very open to me and my siblings that she wants to get married again, and we've always been supportive. The latest guy is by far the most serious, and they've been dating since around last June.

He proposed at the start of autumn, and they want to get married next summer. Again, me and my siblings are fine with this because it's her life and we trust the guy. He's a nice guy and they clearly love each other. But anyways. So the long and short of it is that this weekend, her fiance, Phil, calls me and asks me if I could come over. I say, yeah sure. I'll be over after work, and I assumed he just needed help with some DIY stuff they

were doing. When I get over there, he calls me SPORT and says that we need to talk. I should mention, this is something he does to me and my little brother, calling us things like kid, sport, scout, little buddy, or my personal favorite, calling us red and blue, seemingly out of nowhere. My little brother is 30, by the way. He tried it with my little sister too, who's 28, and called her princess once, but he stopped when she just stared at him. So the thing with Phil is that he reminds me a lot of Charlie Day's character in Horrible Bosses, in that his sole ambition has always been to

meet a girl, get married, and have a family. When he told me and my brother this, my brother made some joke about how maybe our mom's going to come short on the last part, and he got very upset, but they made up after. Anyways, I go over to their place and I ask if my mom is around and he says no. It's just him and that we really need to talk man to man. I say sure and he starts talking about how he's always wanted to be a father and raise a son to call his own and then he drops this bombshell by saying, now I know that I can never replace your father, the man who made you, but it would mean the world to me if you would call me dad.

I'll admit, I scoffed a little. And then I knew that he was serious because he looked like he was about to cry. And he didn't drop it either. I asked if he really meant this and he got really emotional and started talking about what it means to be a man and how his purpose is to have and provide for a family and he wants me and my siblings to be a part of that family. Like he reiterated that he would never replace my father and this did rub me the wrong way a bit but he's ready to step up and be my dad and provide for and protect me and my siblings and I'm just sitting there thinking dude I'm a decade older than you and live in a

separate house. I don't need providing for and even if I did, I don't think a guy a third of my age who works part time at the hardware store and is collecting manga is the man to do it. No offense if you're into that, lol. I just, I don't know, I was a bit taken aback. I was in shock so I just said, okay? And he gets emotional again but in a happy way talking about how he wants to go camping or go to a baseball game.

I don't even like baseball! And how he joined the Lions this year and how he wants to bring me into it as his boy which just feels so surreal. Because again, I'm 10 years older than this guy. Well, I ended it by saying this has gotten a bit too weird and I'm going home. He got very upset and I left and I called my brother and he agreed that it sounds weird as hell. Later, my mom called me and she wasn't disappointed but admitted that it made him very upset and depressed. I told her that if he's embarrassed, he doesn't need to be. I get that he's excited about the marriage and we can just laugh this off as a funny

story. She then said that wasn't what he was upset about. He and also she are a bit upset about the fact that he poured his heart out and I rejected him. She said, yeah, it is a bit kooky, but this is how he proves to himself that he's a man. And I guess I was a bit angry and said something like, first off, it's not my job to certify what's between his legs. And second, this doesn't prove he's a man. It just... between his legs. And second, this doesn't prove he's a man. It just proves he's a nut job.

I apologized immediately, but she said that she didn't want to hear it anymore and hung up. She called back 10 minutes later and we apologized and she begged me to just go along with it until he has some kids to call his own. I won't go too much into the details here, but she's sort of let it slip that they plan to try IVF treatment because she's not ready to give up on being a mom just yet. Wait, how old is she again? She's she's 50. No 58. Okay. Okay. Okay. And while I have my own thoughts about whether or not that's a good idea I'm not here to litigate on that.

thoughts about whether or not that's a good idea. I'm not here to litigate on that. We finished up fine and I reiterated that I would support her and she agreed that it was definitely a stressful situation for me but begged me to at least think about it, which leads me to here. I did think it over and obviously I'm gonna say no. I had a dad and he died. Rest in peace dad. And that's the only dad I've ever needed, I've ever wanted, and I'll ever bestow that title on. I'm not asking if someone's unreasonable or what should I do, more so what should I say? This clearly means a lot to him, for some reason, and I deeply love my mom. So I want to try to minimize the damage.

Then four days later, OP posted an update. Anyway, so I told this to both my siblings and we agreed that we would collectively put our foot down with Phil at our next family dinner next week. Especially after an incident where Phil referred to my brother as sport and asked if he ever wanted to go see a baseball game with him. Admittedly, I was a bit spurred on by what all of you said and I got involved, pinging my brother back with, aww, no tickets for me daddy? frowny face.

And my brother responded with, daddy wants me all to himself, hmm? Hot! winky face. And Phil took a few minutes to respond before saying that he was shocked, speechless, and disgusted. He then messaged me in private to say that he was utterly appalled and that he would never disrespect his own father the way that you boys did.

I kinda lost it at this point and said, right, that's because you're not my father, Phil. You're a 24 year old man-child dating my mother. You have no right to my respect Especially not the respect a father gets I immediately said sorry, but then blocked his number and then left the group chat apparently He sent a similar thing to my brother who respond Who responded with more daddy stuff and Phil blocked him well that aside I don't think that family dinner is going ahead. After the original post blew up, it seems like someone from his Lions Club found it and reported

it to their chair or whatever and Phil has been either expelled or resigned or in the process of one of the two. Hold on, what is a Lions Club? I've never heard of this. I thought at first it had something to do with the football team but then I realized they're in the UK. It is an international service organization... 1.4 million members? What do they do? I guess it doesn't matter. I don't know, some men's club I guess. He's removed nearly all mentions of the Lions from his social media and no longer mentions being a member with his last post on it being some cryptic goodbye post where he kind of

drones on about what it means to be a man in the modern day. And the duty of fatherhood bestowed on all men at birth. Really weird stuff. My mom called me half in a panic, half in a rage afterwards about the stuff that I'd been telling about him before breaking down and saying that we needed to meet. Which we did and I got my brother to come too. I know that Phil has temporarily moved back in with his parents in the next town over, but from my understanding, they still want to go ahead with the wedding. But I think it's mostly because they've already spent money on it. When my mom said that she was determined to have more kids, plural, my brother did step up and

asked if she really thought that was a good idea at her age. And I pointed out that, assuming she had a baby next year and she lived to the age of 80, they still wouldn't have finished college. She just stammered on about how people live longer these days before breaking down crying and admitting that she's not ready to give up on mothering due to some deep-seated trauma and fears about the family breaking apart that I won't go into for her sake. When we reassured her that we weren't going anywhere, she calmed down and we had a very good honest conversation where she's agreed to drop the IVF stuff on the ground that it'd be too expensive and unlikely to be greenlit.

But she's still adamant that it's scientifically possible and she should be allowed to do it from an ethical standpoint because she has to win the argument. She's agreed to look into fostering instead. Me and my brother highly doubt that anything will ever come of that, so we're not too worried anymore. The very good news is she's also agreed to look into therapy and psychiatric help to deal with her trauma, and we've helped her get in touch with a nice lady in town to unpack all this in a more unhealthy way. So at least one person is getting the help they need. I have no idea what happened with Phil or what's going to happen with him, but I did make

it clear to my mom that he is not my dad. He's not even my stepdad. I'm not a kid. And he's never going to be either one outside of some kind of legal shenanigans." She relented pretty quickly, and we've agreed that if things go ahead, that's going to be a huge red line. Though I don't know if he'll want to be friends with me after all this, LMAO. Then the next day OP posted an update. I think the marriage is off. Phil's gone AWOL and had a HUGE argument with his family as they've demanded he call off the wedding and date people his own age. This apparently made him SNAP. Me and my mom have met his mom and older brother who said that Phil is

very insecure around girls his own age and he's never been able to talk to them, hence his preference. This very deeply upset my mom. And after some begging from all of us, she's agreed to push the wedding back, though she wants to keep dating him. I have no idea where Phil is, though his brother assumes that he's couchsurfing with his D&D friends who have been sending me and my brother some not nice messages, because clearly we're just jealous of the MILF HUNTER. If any of you socially inept turds are reading this, I don't need to chase middle-aged folk because I can talk to boys my own age like a normal person.

Peace! Okay, as someone who enjoyed D&D and someone who enjoys manga, I feel like this post is giving people like me a very bad name. Many of us manga and D&D enjoyers are perfectly well adjusted and reasonable folk with a healthy family life, alright? I'm honestly amazed at how patient OP is and you know, the rest of his siblings, his brother and his sister as well because if someone tried this stunt with me, I don't think I'd be nearly as graceful as OP was. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash am i the butthole.

Am I the butthole for flirting with 19 year old girls and defending myself when being called a predator? I'm 31 and I recently ended a long term relationship. I was broken. I recently went to this cool restaurant slash bar downtown with one of my buddies to have a good time. Anyone of any age can come in. They sang happy birthday and they were allowed an outside cake with the number 19 on it.

The birthday girl was pretty so I wanted to go chat her up. Her friends were super cute too. My buddy told me to leave them alone and that they looked like babies. He didn't want to go over it first. But since the breakup, every other woman but my ex has been invisible, so he went to go wingman with me. We walked over and wished her a happy birthday. I thought things were going well and the women were laughing.

Then all of a sudden, one of the girls snaps at me to take an effing hint R. Kelly. I was taken aback and just said, excuse me. She said to read the room and that they were uncomfortable. Another asked us to go away. I was gonna go, but I was really bothered by the R. Kelly comment. I said it's messed up to call me a predator when we're all adults here. My buddy wanted to leave, but I stood my ground. The birthday woman said that it didn't matter, that it's weird for someone my age to hit on them, especially when they make it obvious that they're uncomfortable.

They made another R. Kelly comment by asking if she looked like Aaliyah to me, which upset me again. I apologize for making them uncomfortable, but that doesn't give them the right to call me a predator. One of the women said that it was a personal problem. I said that adults are allowed to hit on adults, that it's not a crime. One woman just asked why I was still standing there and yelled at me to go away. I was pissed off and when I left, their entire table was singing remixed to ignition and laughing their butts off.

I was furious and humiliated. When we sat down, I was seething. My buddy said that it was my fault for not seeing the signs and that they were uncomfortable. To him, I was seething. My buddy said that it was my fault for not seeing the signs and that they were uncomfortable. To him, it was obvious so he wanted to go. He called me delusional. I pointed out that they were laughing and he said that it was just uncomfortable laughter. I told him I had every right to be mad about being called a predator when they were all 18 or 19. That's a horrible accusation to make. My ex was 6 years older than me. He said they weren't calling me a predator, just weird for going after teenagers. He said that it was wrong of them to sing that song after I left and that that was bullying,

but that I should have left long before that. I felt like he should have stuck up for me. Was I wrong for sticking up for myself or for hitting on them in the first place? I was respectful and not creepy at all, too. For the record, I do date women my age and older. This was the first time I approached a much younger woman. As you might expect, the comments are mostly, you're the butthole. Because come on, arguing with strangers on their birthday is just super entitled. Like what did OP expect was gonna happen? That he was gonna argue with them and they're gonna be like, oh yeah I see your point. Come sit down with us and let me cut you a slice of cake. Then we have an update but not from OP, from the birthday girl. So earlier I saw a post online that basically described my birthday dinner like three weeks ago.

At first I didn't care but now I just felt the need to clarify a few things, even though I know most people called him a butthole. Some people got mad about the R. Kelly comment and us singing Ignition. Was it mean? Yeah, but I'm done being nice to creeps. First of all, this was not a bar, it was a bar and grill, but it was mainly a restaurant that just happened to serve drinks. So we weren't in a setting where people go to get hit on. We were just minding our own business,

having a good time in the corner booth. He came and wished me a happy birthday. I said thanks, and we all went back to our conversation. I did appreciate being told happy birthday, but he stuck around. We laughed uncomfortably and went back to our conversation. He stuck around and kept interrupting us. Each time he said something, we nodded and then turned our backs to him. We said, thank you, bye a few times. But he was still standing there, talking to us. His friend kept finding excuses to leave.

I was annoyed, uncomfortable, and disgusted, but I gave him a respectful okay, have a good night, here's some cake for home, bye. But he grabbed the cake and then sat down in our booth. He said, the night's not over yet. Then my friend just snapped and if she didn't, I was going to. When she called him R. Kelly, she wasn't accusing him of being a P word, but a creep. 30 year old guys who hit on us are creepy and disgust us. Point blank period. We were nice the entire time, and I even gave them a million hints and cake for the road. His

friend was even finding reasons for them to leave. Then he had the audacity to stand there and fight us on it. I told him that he was way too old for us and that it was creepy from the start. When he left, we started singing Ignition amongst ourselves, not singing it for him. It's a throwback that our parents put us on. Instead of crying over our night being ruined by a creep, we turned it into a fun moment with karaoke. Also, OP clarifies that she told them their ages. Yo, the dude, this dude really rolled up on a bunch of high schoolers at like a Chili's or TGIFs

and was like, hey ladies, you're looking mighty legal to me. That was r slash best of Redditor updates and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.