rSlash - r/Bestof My Fiancé Says He Owns My Womb

Episode Date: September 23, 2022

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Welcome to our slash Best of Redditor Updates, where OPs husband once an open marriage. Our next reddit post comes from our slash true off my chest. I'm a 39 year old woman and my husband is 48. About one year ago, my husband told me that he wasn't sexually attracted to me anymore. I kind of understood that, because ever since our second son was born, who's now four, my husband hasn't passionately hugged me. He said that he loved me more than anything in the world, and that the rest of the relationship was perfect, but he needed to passionately hug someone or he would go crazy.

He suggested that we try an open marriage. I was taken aback by that, but I started asking him what he meant by an open marriage, and we discussed it over a few weeks. To be honest, I was feeling sexually deprived myself and the idea started to grow on me. I said yes and I asked if there were any rules and he said usually every couple has their own rules. So we have two rules. Don't bring them home and use protection. My husband was also very clear that he wanted to know who the other person is and when. He said that he wanted to know when so that we could plan our days.

Within a week he started meeting new women. He told me everything, showed me pictures, and was gone most nights. Not gonna lie, I felt like garbage, but I thought I needed to give it time. I moved much slower than he did, however, because I needed to give it time. I moved much slower than he did, however, because I needed to know the people that I passionately hugged and at least have some kind of feelings with them. But I started to relax more and flirt back with guys. One of them is a client, Jay, who's 36 at the bank that I work for. He's not my client, but he sees me often and he's always been pleasant and extra chatty with me.

I started flirting with Jay about a month ago, and I finally decided that I was ready to start sleeping with others. I told Jay about my arrangement. He was disappointed at first, but then he said that he was in. I went home to my husband and asked him if he was going to do anything that Friday, and he said no. I told him that was good because I needed him to watch the kids. I showed my husband a picture of Jay and I told him that I was meeting him Friday. My husband was silent. Friday came and my husband texted me that he was stuck at work and that later he was going to meet a girl so he couldn't watch the kids.

This continued. Every time I scheduled a date with Jay, he would do the same and leave me with the kids. I don't mind spending time with my kids, but I was getting annoyed. Last Monday, I had no meetings at work after lunch, which meant that I was free. I texted Jay if he wanted to meet and he said that he was home. The kids were at daycare, so I went over to Jay's place and it was amazing. I've missed this so much. The feeling that I'm desired and someone's eyes on me filled with lust for me and my body. When I got home, I told my husband and he was

livid because I didn't tell him beforehand. He said that I broke a rule. I told him that I didn't, that he knew that I was seeing this guy and that I've been trying to make time. Anyway, he didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening. He woke me up in the middle of the night with gentle kisses and touches, and we passionately hugged three times. That was the first time in almost five years. And since then, we've passionately hugged every night since. Now, he's saying that he's attracted to me again and he wants to close the marriage again, but I don't want to.

I like having other options and we're not hurting anyone. So I'm coming to Reddit because I hope you can help me and not be so judgmental of me. And then O.P. Posts in an update. Last Tuesday, I was supposed to meet Jay again. So Monday evening, as per our agreement,

I told my husband about it. He was so surprised. Why do you want to meet him when I've effed you every single night for the past week? I just looked at him and said that I didn't understand what he meant. I said that we had an open marriage and I've been very clear

that I don't want to close it again. I felt happy and content for the first time in years, and he's been sleeping with others for a year without any problems, so why now? Well he told me that he hadn't been with anyone in almost two weeks, because he thought that I was enough, so he didn't understand why he wasn't enough for me. I asked him, why the sudden interest in me and my body. He had never been so interested before and never so passionate and attentive, not even when I was 10 years younger and more beautiful. He said that he's always found me beautiful and he didn't know why

he's more attracted now. I told him I knew why because suddenly you couldn't picture someone else with your wife and suddenly I was more than a wife and a mother in your eyes. I was a sexual being. He tried to deny it, but I didn't budge. I told him that he wasn't seeing other women because he was too busy trying to keep me at bay. The moment that I was under his control again, he would lose interest and start seeing other women.

More than likely once I'm pregnant again, because then I would be less appealing to men. He was so angry about this and said that it was all in my head. Then he threw the dinner plate across the room and left. He spent the night outside. The next day when he was calmer, I told him that I didn't want to close our marriage. I loved him very much, but I was miserable without passionately hugging. I believed in my heart that we, the both of

us, could have our cake and eat it too. We could have our beautiful life with our kids, careers, families, friends, hobbies, trips, and dinner dates. And on top of that, we could also passionately hug other people. I told him that he didn't seem to be as cool with my picks as I was with all those months of all the women that he showed me. So maybe I could be more discreet so the men that I met stayed faceless in his mind. Maybe that would be easier? He didn't answer me. I said, or we could just go our separate ways. At this, he started to get agitated again, so I asked him to calm down and listen. I said that he can't just demolish my kitchen and walk away every time I said something that wasn't to his taste.

I could not and would not go back to how things were before opening our marriage, so either he would have to get on board or get a divorce. I asked him to think about it. Thursday, when he got back from work, I had already changed and I was ready to go out. He didn't say anything. When I got home, he was crying and saying that he couldn't do this anymore. I told him that we only have one solution then, and it was divorce. He said that I was brutal, and you're not the beautiful kind woman that I married anymore. He hasn't been home

this weekend. He just called every night to say goodnight to the kids. He just texted me once. Are you in love with Jay? No. Is he better than me? No. Are you gonna start dating him if we divorce? I didn't answer. Man, I don't know what this guy expected. This guy put no effort whatsoever into bonding with his wife and giving her what she wants. Then he wants to piece out of the marriage and sleep around with other women, which he does for a year. And then when his wife sleeps around for one month, he breaks down and suddenly you're not the beautiful woman that I married anymore. Clearly what this guy really meant when he said that he wanted an open marriage was he wanted one for him, not for her. Business notifications getting out of hand, buried under an avalanche of customer emails,

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Will I be the Butthole if I request a different teacher from my second daughter over something that happened five years ago? There's a bit of backstory that I can't get into because it'll make the post super long, so for the sake of length, I'm gonna try and do a too long didn't read. Five years ago, my then nine-year-old daughter started puberty earlier than others her age, and body odor was a problem. Bad foot odor runs in my family. We started using foot powder for our shoes, but sometimes it didn't help, and she habitually bounced her foot when she worked. Being young, she loved wearing flats to school, and she was in the classroom of rude teacher. Rude teacher pulled my daughter aside before recess, and told her that she had to keep her

shoes on because she was making the classroom stink. And then days later, she called out my child's name in front of the entire class, prompting my kid to put her shoes on. The teacher thanked her and went on teaching. When I pointed out how embarrassing that was for a 9-year-old who doesn't have control of her body smells right now, the teacher was very blase about the situation and how she'd handled it. But it gave my daughter body issues that she's still dealing with. I've never forgiven rude teacher or gotten over it. So in May, requests for the upcoming school year were sent out, and I requested that my second daughter not be put in rude teacher's class.

I didn't go into detail as to why, I just requested that she not be in Rude Teachers class. Teachers were posted today, and low and behold, my daughter is in Rude Teachers class. My daughter has ADHD, and she gets very emotional very easily. And from what I heard from a friend who subbed for Rude Teachers class last year, it was a disaster. I have my reservations about how well Rude teacher would be able to handle my daughter if there was a similar incident. Would I be the butthole if I emailed the principal and asked her to move my daughter to the other teachers class before school starts? My husband feels that we should give Roo teacher another shot because we'll have two other

kids going into our class in the future. And we can't always ask for special placement because of something that happened five years ago. So, will I be the butthole? So, to be clear, my second daughter is now in the same grade as the root teacher, and I don't want my other kid to go through root teacher's class as well. And then OP posted an update. I posted last week, and 99% of the comments told me that I wouldn't be the butthole that I need to advocate for my child and protect her from a bad teacher. So I

emailed the principal that night and basically said, I'm so sorry, I know that teachers just got posted, but I requested that my daughter not be in the root teacher's class. Is it possible to have her switch to another class? On Monday the principal called me, and in essence said there's a lot that goes into making class lists. Academics have to be considered, similar numbers of boys and girls in each class, etc. So it's just too hard. I told her my side of the story, and I'm sure that nothing would likely happen, but for me personally, there's a non-zero chance of her causing undue harm to another of my children. She said that she would talk to a rude teacher without naming names to let rude teacher

know that a parent was concerned about having their child in her class due to a previous treatment of a sibling. On Tuesday, I talked to my school's district administrator and he asked me about the situation. I told him what happened, and I mentioned the principal said that it was hard to switch students, so I was wondering if said that it was hard to switch students, so I was wondering if it was something that he could do. I said that all it takes is one bad experience with a teacher to ruin a kid's school enjoyment. He said the district typically didn't override the principal's decisions, but he wanted to talk to her because he agreed that what the

Roo teacher said was inappropriate, and I shouldn't have to stress about another of my kids being in our class. On Wednesday, the principal called me again, and she was very shocked because when we talked, I thought that we had reached an understanding. But I just got off the phone with my supervisor and... And wouldn't you know it? There just happened to be a second grade teacher in our office. And the teacher helped the principal find a student who was equal to my daughter, and as a result, my daughter would no longer be in the Roo teachers class. The principal said, �You know, if you were still having reservations about her being in the class, you could have come to me.� �I said, �I wasn't trying to go above you, but you said that it was too hard. So I

didn't know if it was something the district would have an easier time doing. She ended with... Well, we hope to see you at Back to School night, and if you need anything else, please let me know first. Yo, what is up with this principle? If you had reservations, you should have come to me first. She did. She came to you twice. Once before the teachers were posted, saying, I don't want my daughter to be in her class. And then again, after the teachers were posted, saying, this makes me uncomfortable.

Please make the change. Well yeah, I could, but to be honest, I'm kind of lazy, so I'm just going to blow smoke up your butt and pretend like it's too hard. What a miserable principle. Our next reddit post comes from our slash relationship advice and the title is, My fiance said that I'm holding my womb hostage. Oh man, I'm ready for this story. We've been together for nine years, engaged for just under one.

I'm 29, he's 33. The other day we were having a conversation about the future, and then the subject turned to kids, how many, etc. I said that, ideally, I'd want to, and I didn't care about the gender. He said that he also wanted two kids, but he doesn't want a daughter at all. When I pressed him, he said that it was because he wouldn't be able to relate to her, and didn't want to have to deal with all that. And by deal with all that, he meant periods and her having a sex life. I told him we would have no control over the gender of our kids.

He said he knew that, but if we had a daughter, then he wouldn't be able to love her as much as a son. What? I was not having that, and I told him that if that's the case, I am not having kids with him. My husband flew off the handle. He literally started yelling, saying that I was holding my womb hostage, and once were married, I wouldn't get to say in whether or not we have kids. That it's his right to have them if he wants. I'm not sure if that's how he meant it, but I think that he was implying that he would forcefully impregnate me.

It was so hateful. I left, quickly packing while he yelled at me. He followed me out to my car, screaming, that's right, run away, over and over. I've been staying with a friend for two days, and I haven't told her why I'm not home with him. I don't even know how to begin unpacking the vitriol that he spewed. He had never been so blatantly misogynistic. I don't even want to marry him anymore, but then I would have wasted nine years of my

life for nothing. He's been blowing up my phone apologizing, begging to talk to me. I can't take it anymore, but I don't want to do anything hasty. Please, someone set my head straight. And then OP posted an update. So I took your guys advice and told my friend that I'm staying with what happened. She told me that I could stay with her in her guest room until I found my own place. She called her brothers, and they actually ended up going yesterday with me to grab my stuff. He tried to hide a bunch of my things like my medicine and expensive skincare stuff,

but they ended up getting it for me. He also tried to say that my game system was his and he would report me for stealing it even though it's mine. He also broke some stuff. It took like 5 hours to get my clothes and personal items. Our furniture we got second hand for places like Goodwill and Marketplace, so I'm not really worried about that. Before we left with my stuff, I told him it was over, and he seemed okay with it.

But after we left, he blew up my phone, telling me that no one would want me, and calling me used up and all these vile names. I don't care anymore. I screen-shotted the messages and blocked him. I called my parents and told them what happened and they're telling our family the weddings off. That way, I don't have to do it. We hadn't made any deposits yet, so no real loss.

I guess on the bright side, I'm not really sad about him anymore. I'm flying out to visit my family next week. Thanks, guys, for the help. Alright, that was creepy. Forced in-pregnation, what was he going to do? Tie you to a bid for nine months and keep you knocked up? This is OP, you dodged a bullet man. I know people like use that metaphor kind of loosely, but this feels like an actual life-ruining bullet that you dodged. And trying to think of it as you losing nine years of your life,

trying to think of it as gaining all those years in the future that you would have lost, getting married to this douchebag. That was our SlashBest of Registered Updates, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. because I put out a new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.