rSlash - r/Bestof My Girlfriend Wants to "Top" Me

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:09 Role reversal 4:41 Cheater 9:12 Scheduling 13:08 Horrible gifts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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in debt. Farber Debt Solutions, licensed in Solvency Trustees, get the truth about debt. Welcome to r slash best of Redditor Updates, where OP gets into an argument with his girlfriend about pegging. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for telling my girlfriend that I'd rather break up than do something she wants in bed? We've been together since senior year of college

and we've talked about marriage. We're not exactly sexually adventurous, just normal stuff, but we've been trying a few more things lately. She said that she really wants to try to peg me. She said that we've already done butt stuff, so I shouldn't be too opposed to that, except we only did it because she wanted so I shouldn't be too opposed to that. Except, we only did it because she wanted. I could take it or leave it. I told her that I would never

agree to that, and she'll just have to forget about it. She bought a strap on to try to convince me that it wasn't a big deal. No kink shaming, but I have no interest and I do not want to try. She said that if I don't do it, she'll never be able to experience it. I have jokingly told her that if she keeps pushing it, she'll be free to experience it with whoever she wants. She started to cry. Should I just do it because she wants to, or should she respect my decision and drop it?

Then, about two months later, OP posted an update. We broke up. Nah, just kidding. She's next to be on the couch bugging me to rub her feet. I guess she still hasn't learned anything about consent. The real update is positive, especially for our relationship. A lot has happened. I took advice from the comments to have a conversation about boundaries, consent, and

focusing on things that we're both comfortable exploring. She agreed that it was a good idea. We were really naive and unprepared for all this. We thought that we could figure it out as we went. I told her that I posted our situation on Reddit and she probably didn't want to see it since the comments were universally against her. She asked me to show her anyways. She read the post and some of the comments. She said that she knew that she was wrong, but she was a little surprised by how negatively people reacted to her. I asked her why she cried, and she said that it was because she was upset that I would

even joke about breaking up. She wasn't trying to manipulate me by crying, she thought that we were just having a conversation. I told her that she wasn't listening to me and how uncomfortable I was. I was trying to find an exit ramp, hehe, for the conversation, not seriously talking about breaking up. I also apologize because I was wrong to joke like that. She admitted that she wasn't sensitive to my boundaries and she was just focused on what she wanted.

She recognizes that behavior is really toxic and she would think that I was a butt, hehe, if I had kept ignoring her boundaries like that. She also apologized for buying the toy and agreed that it was manipulative. One commenter suggested a yes-no-maybe list. This advice has made a world of difference. We agreed the list was just for discussion, that it didn't imply consent, and we would discuss everything and we were free to change our minds at any time. If you're wondering, I put down pegging as no for me and she checked yes.

She won't bring it up again unless I change my response, but I'm glad that she was honest. When we were having our discussion about intercourse and communication, we also started talking about our relationship with each other, Jesus, and the Church. We realized that we miss belonging to a church community, but we wanted to find one that fits our values, not our parents' values. We found a nice church. We just started going and they were very welcoming and the people are very nice and accepting. One of the reasons we joined was we wanted to be married in a church.

That's right, we're engaged. We were already thinking of marriage, but these last few months we've really solidified our commitment to each other and our future together. She told her parents, and they didn't give us their blessing. We were expecting that. Her parents are very traditional. They won't visit us because we live together, and they made it clear the last time we visited them that they don't approve of us or our views.

My fiancee told her sisters that she was on birth control and also said that they should get the HPV vaccine, which caused a shitstorm. We weren't invited to Christmas. We told her parents that we'll invite them to the wedding and it's their decision to attend or not. Her siblings are happy for us and they said that they'll be at the wedding. My parents are happy because they're not as strict about things, although I can't deny the fact that I'm their son, not their daughter, and that plays a part in it. My mom just wants us to have kids so that she can be a grandmother. Wow, that is an unexpectedly wholesome and heartwarming story about pegging. How do you start a story from, babe, I want to peg you and end the story with, so anyways,

we joined a new church and it's really nice! Based on how the story started, I wouldn't have pegged you to as a religious couple. Our next Reddit post comes from rslashtrueoffmichest. I'm a 25 year old woman and I discovered that my ex-boyfriend, who's 26, has been cheating on me for 5 months. I was really devastated and I felt a lot of rage inside me, especially after buying him a new PlayStation 5 since he wanted one but couldn't afford it. I was saving up a lot of money to buy him the console along with some games.

We've been dating for three years, living together for a year and a half. I immediately kicked him out after his side girl messaged me apologizing not knowing that he had a girlfriend. I didn't believe her because I trusted my boyfriend, but she came with receipts. There were a lot of messages where he flirted with her and sent nudes. I was disgusted, really disgusted. The worst part is when I confronted him, he didn't even try to deny it and called me boring. He insulted me a lot, saying that I was no fun and he deserves better. I was really enraged at first. I slapped him, and he was as shocked as I was because I was never violent with him,

and I always tried to solve things quietly, but he made my blood boil. I started screaming at him that he doesn't do anything around here and he never paid rent because he's a lazy, jobless piece of garbage you can't even bother looking for a decent job. At one point, I mentioned that he would never get the PS5 that I bought him because I'd return it to the store, and he'd look like a deer in headlights. That bastard, he immediately changed his attitude and acted sorry, started apologizing and crying, saying that he never meant to cheat and he promised that he would make it up to me. He's a disgusting pig. He never cared for my feelings. crying, saying that he never meant to cheat and he promised that he would make it up to me. He's a disgusting pig. He never cared for my feelings.

He only cared when I mentioned something he wanted. Such hypocrisy. I wasted no time and kicked him out. He's been sending me a lot of texts filled with apologies and even an ugly photo of him crying. I told him not to waste his time because he won't get the PS5 that were done and I blocked him. I won't get the PS5 that were done and I blocked him. I won't return the PS5. I already have it and I remembered that my parents were planning on

buying one for my little brother so the plan is that I'm just going to give it to my little brother. Wait, hold on, OP. What'd you say? You've been dating? Dating for three years and living together for a year and a half. So this dude was living with you for about 18 months and he didn't pay rent once, not one time. He didn't have a job that entire time. Girl, I don't know what you were expecting to come out of this relationship. Anyways, five days later, OP posted an update. Today was amazing. I celebrated Christmas with my family, my parents, and my little brother. My parents cooked the best food, so I ate well after not having an appetite for a few days.

It was wonderful. As for my parents' agreement about the gift, we agreed on something. I'll give the PlayStation 5 and games to my brother, and my parents bought an Oculus for my brother, as well as other accessories for the console. When the time came for the presents, I was shocked to learn that my brother got me an expensive gift. He got me some makeup from Sephora and a gift card. My parents then told me that my brother was saving for a gift since the beginning of

the year. I cried, I literally started bawling my eyes out, then I gave him a big hug, my baby. I thanked him a lot for the gift and said that I loved it. When he opened my parents' present, he was really confused and said that he can't use the Oculus because he doesn't have a PS5. Then, I told him to open my gift and when he opened it, he started crying and immediately hugged me. I don't know what came over me, I started crying with him.

I really, really love my brother. He's a sweet little boy and a good behaved kid. He's 12 by the way. That's why he deserves every gift he got. It was expensive, yes, but it was worth every penny to see him happy. After we all opened our gifts, I helped him set up his PlayStation 5 in his room and played some games together.

Suddenly, he tells me that he loves me and I'm the best big sister in the world. For the third time, I started crying. So, yeah, there you have it. I had the best big sister in the world. For the third time, I started crying. So yeah, there you have it. I had the best Christmas with my family and seeing my brother so happy was worth the heartbreak I went through. As for my garbage ex, he's still making new accounts on Instagram to apologize. I told him to f off and I know that he's only apologizing because he wants the PS5,

not because he feels guilty. I mentioned that I gave it to someone who deserves it way more than he does, and he started cursing at me. And I said that if he didn't leave me alone, I'd report him to the cops for harassment. He stopped after that, and I haven't heard from him ever since. Ah, another story with a wholesome ending. Luckily, this one didn't start with pegging. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash am I the butthole. Am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for telling my fiance's friend that they can't organize a party for

his birthday because I already have plans? So my fiance and I have been together for six years. He's a 28-year-old man and I'm a 27-year-old woman. We're also in the middle of planning our wedding, but that's besides the point. Anyway, he's the love of my life and my best mate in the world, and I want him to be happy. So, we live in a city that's close to some beautiful hills. Sometimes, we go for drives in those hills. There's this one little town that my fiancé loves, even though he's never actually stayed there. It's his birthday next Friday, so I decided to

take him on a mini holiday to that town. I found a cute hotel and researched and organized some activities that I know that he'll love. We'll stay from Friday to Monday. I've talked to his boss and he agreed to let my fiancee take two days off, but he won't say anything to keep it a surprise. So yesterday, one of his friends messaged me and told me about a party they've been organizing

for my fiancee and they asked me to get him to that party without giving it away. The party was supposed to be on Friday night. I told them that we'll be out of town Friday night, but I'd help them to throw it on Thursday. His friends started blowing up my phone, telling me that it's uncool to take him away on his birthday without prior warning, or discussing it with him, and that he'd probably rather spin his birthdays having a beer with the boys instead of doing boring couple stuff. After some back and forth, I told him to go screw themselves, and they should have consulted

with me and not the other way around. They said they're gonna tell my fiance about both of our plans so that he can decide what he wants to do. I told them not to because I went to great lengths to keep it a surprise party, but they said that it's only fair, and that I should've remembered that they might want to do something, and that most of them have known him for longer than I have. I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for permission to take my fiance on a trip on his

birthday, but maybe it's a faux pas? Then about two weeks later, OP posted an update. First things first, the surprise wasn't ruined. We got to go, and my fiance loved it. I followed your advice and told him that I had something planned that clashed with the plans his mates made and that they're now threatening to ruin the surprise. I offered to tell him what I had planned, but he shut that down pretty quickly. He then called one of his friends and asked them, WTF was wrong with him to pull this

stunt and that they should know by now that our birthday surprises are a very important part of our relationship and something we look forward to the whole year. After a rather lengthy talk with his friend, it turned out that the boys wanted one last big birthday piss-up before he got married and they all felt like he was drifting away from them and that his priorities shifted. My fiancé then told him that it's normal for priorities to shift when you're in a long-term relationship. He made it known that he was very disappointed with the boy's behavior towards me, and

that they needed to apologize. Apart from that, we had a wonderful weekend. He loved it, and even ordered a blanket with his favorite photos of the trip. Oh my god, this is so wholesome. This is repulsively sweet, OP. I'm so happy for you and disgusted at the same time. A blanket with photos from the trip on it? Who are you people?

My fiance didn't go to Boys Night Out last week because none of his friends had apologized to me. I guess that showed them that he was serious, and most of them called or messaged me afterwards with an apology except for one guy. Everyone except for him will be invited to our barbecue party next week, and we're both hoping to move past this rather unpleasant experience. So many stories that I read are toxic and disgusting and infuriating that when I read

a story about a wholesome girlfriend and a wholesome boyfriend and their wholesome relationship, it's just shocking. I don't even know how to respond. OP was super super sweet and she tried to solve the problem with open and clear communication and then the boyfriend responded positively and loved the trip. It's just so sweet. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 23 year old woman and my 27 year old boyfriend gives me horrible gifts and I'm fed up. We've been together for four years. Our first Christmas together, I gave him an Amazon home device with the accessories to make his apartment a smart home.

He moved into an apartment around his birthday, so I got him a microwave, toaster, silverware, etc. His most recent birthday, I got him an at-home golf set because he recently became obsessed with golf. It cost more than expected, but I was happy to give it to him. Our first Christmas together, he gave me a video game and money that he owed me. For my birthday, he got me another video game. My birthday happens to be Christmas. I bought him a signed Steelers football because that's his favorite NFL team.

He just told me the gift he got me and this might be dramatic, but I had to stop myself from crying. He went on a solo vacation earlier this year and my birthday present is that he printed the pictures from his vacation and put them in a photo book. This is his gift to everyone, his mom, sister, brother, friends, and me. He mentioned it before, and I politely told him that I didn't want that gift. I actually told him that I would hate it, and he laughed it off. I've been telling him since we started dating that I like jewelry, and I would love that

as a gift. He tells me he hates going into jewelry stores and more recently a couple of days ago said, You already have so much jewelry, why would I buy you more? At this point it feels disrespectful and after finding out my gift today I told him to just not get me anything. It literally feels like he doesn't care about me or my feelings. He calls me materialistic because I like to buy myself things and I feel like if I tell him how I truly feel, he'll just call me materialistic some more

or maybe I am materialistic. Maybe this is a sweet and thoughtful gift and I ruined it for him. Also, in the comments people are asking about the vacation and OP says, the vacation was three months of traveling and he did ask me to go, but I told him I absolutely could not take that much time off of work, so he went alone. Also OP clarifies, he can be cheap at times, but he's admitted that it's because he grew up poor and he has anxiety about it. He's afraid of ending up as poor as he was when he was a kid.

Then about one week later, OP posted an update. A couple of people have been asking for an update, so I thought that I'd make a quick post. We broke up. My birthday party was on the 23rd, and he told me that he'd be working the entire day. When I called him to check in, he said that he actually got the day off, and he was going to spend it watching football with his friends.

I reminded him about my party, and he said that he hates going out and he already promised his friends that he'd watch football. I must have said, but it's my birthday. In confusion like 10 times before he said, it's not your birthday, it's just your birthday party and I'm not coming. I told him that was okay because I was over it. I asked him how Christmas was going to work and he told me that he'd stop by. He reminded me that he didn't get me anything because I didn't want his photo album, and

he refuses to buy me jewelry. He then told me how much it hurt his feelings that I didn't want his photo book and said, I've never met someone so inconsiderate. And this is when we sort of started to argue. I told him if the photo book came with something more heartfelt, then I'd appreciate it more, but I don't deserve the same gift being given to his coworker and his parents. He said, I'm giving this gift to everyone that I love. Yes, I understand that, but he couldn't have added a handwritten card or notes, literally

anything. Also, yeah, I said I like jewelry, but if he saw literally anything that reminded him of me, I would have loved it. I just wanted to know that he cares about me. He said, for my ex's birthday I played her a song on the piano. I don't understand why you can't be that type of girl. I asked him how he would know that if he's never done that for me. I didn't even know that he could play the piano. My ex in high school played me the piano and I thought that it was the sweetest thing.

If he had played a song for me, I would have loved it. I'm not sure why he decided to bring up his ex. He told me I was just trying to make him feel guilty, which he would never do. So we broke it off. After I broke it off, he said that it's probably for the best because he's looking for someone that he can buy a house and combine his money with. And I reminded him that I'm the only one with savings and also I make more than him. I asked for the golfing setback and I told him that he could keep all the other gifts.

He asked why and he's now ignoring me when I text asking for a time to meet up and get the golf stuff. He said that it was stupid that I wanted it back. I do feel a bit guilty, but when I see videos online of people receiving horrible gifts and pretending to love it, so I don't know how to feel. I definitely could have sucked it up, but I guess it was time for us to go our separate ways. Oh, this guy is full of himself, who on Earth wants to receive a book of photos of someone else's vacation. Good luck in life, OP.

I think you're much better off than this self-obsessed douchebag.