rSlash - r/Bestof My Girlfriend Won't Dump Her F-Buddy

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Cheater friend 3:13 Grunt drunkula Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash best of redditor updates where OP discovers that his girlfriend has a secret relationship with a friend with benefits. Our next Reddit post comes from r slash am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for breaking up with my girlfriend because she's still friends with the guy she cheated with in her previous relationship? I'm a 26 year old man and my ex girlfriend is 25. We were together for about a year. Some weeks ago, we were hanging out with some of her friends, not the friend in question. We were playing a little quiz game and one of the questions that popped up involved cheating. I mentioned that I hate cheaters and after that, I noticed one of my friends gave my ex-girlfriend a look. And I also noticed that my girlfriend got a bit uncomfortable. It was weird and got me thinking.

The next day I asked my ex-girlfriend about it. She said that she wasn't going to lie and she admitted that she cheated on her ex. This happened a year before she met me. I felt upset about it because she's never mentioned it before and I asked what happened. She mentioned this one time that she got drunk and hooked up with her friend Byron. Byron is a former friend with benefits of hers, and they still hang out regularly. I knew that my ex-girlfriend and Byron had a history, and while I didn't like that they hung out, I just dealt with it. I was pretty upset, because not only did I find out that she was a cheater, but that she still hung out with the guy.

I told her I needed some time to think, and after two days, I decided to break up with her. I didn't want to tell her that she can't be friends with Byron, and I knew that I couldn't deal with her still being friends with him, so I just removed myself. So am I the butthole? Then 16 days later, OP posted an update. So about a week after I posted my original post, my ex-girlfriend dropped by my place. She said that she wanted to get back together, and that it was silly of us to break up over this. I told her that I'm just not comfortable with

her friendship with Byron. She said that her cheating with Byron was a mistake, but that was in the past and she's grown. I told her that it doesn't really look like it, because she goes out drinking with Byron very often, and you were both passionate hugging after you and your ex broke up. To be clear, they were friends with benefits before and after her ex. I told her I'm just not taking a chance to be her next sucker. She then said, what if I cut off Byron? Can we get back together then? I was tempted for a second to be honest.

Our relationship seemed great, but I remembered some of the comments that I read in my last post and I asked her, have you been passionately hugging Byron since we broke up? And I have never seen such a poor poker face. She stumbled over her words and said no. I gave her a look that said, that's BS. She saw my expression and said, I mean, we were broken up. I just put my hands up and said nope and asked her to leave. She was really upset.

Well, if she's so upset then she can go cry about it to Byron and use his dick to wipe away her tears. I don't know, people are so weird to me. Why not just date Byron at that point? They were together before the first relationship, then she was in a relationship, then she cheated to go back to Byron, then OP happened and now back with Byron again. Just stay with Byron. Clearly that dick is too addictive, so girl, just stop wasting everyone's time.

Our next Reddit post comes from r slash relationships. I heard the feelings of my girlfriend's sister while I was performing stand up. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me. I am a somewhat successful 27 year old comic working my way up in the comedy scene in the city that I'm living in. I'm dating a 28-year-old woman from here, and she's very supportive of my career as I am with hers. She has a 21-year-old little sister that I think is a spoiled sorority brat, but I

very rarely see her, so I pay her very little mind. Just the other night, I was performing at a comedy club and my girlfriend was coming to watch me perform. The night before the show, she told me that her little sister was coming to the show with some friends. To me, this news was a possible red flag. To give some background, my girlfriend comes from a pretty affluent background where ritzy vacations and luxuries were the norm, whereas I come from quite the opposite.

I come from a large family where we had to wear the busted pair of shoes for a little bit longer until the money was finally scraped together for a new pair. For a lot of people, this difference could be a little intimidating, but it's never been a big issue for me. My girlfriend is very level-headed, hardworking, and she never looks down on others

who aren't as fortunate as her or her family. Her sister, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. She goes to a university that's completely paid for, that has all the niceties, and it lets you know when you don't. She can get rude with people quite easily, especially when she's dealing with someone working a low-paying job or someone that she views as lower in status. Now, I've only acted as a silent observer to her behavior because I've only seen her a handful of times, and quite frankly, I didn't want to deal with her. When my girlfriend told me that she was coming to watch me perform, I got pretty alarmed.

The people that I work with is a pretty working-class group of people. They deal with hard truths, and they can laugh when they're being made fun of. Whenever my girlfriend's sister gets put into similar situations, she definitely doesn't have the same reaction. I also went with her and my girlfriend to a small concert at a bar and she was rude and disrespectful to the performers the whole time. I told my girlfriend my concerns about her sister coming, that she wouldn't enjoy herself, she would make a scene, or she would interrupt another comic set, which is the ultimate sin. My girlfriend said that it wouldn't be a problem. I buckled and said that she could come, but I would not be held liable for whatever happened

in the club. I tend to be playful when shutting down hecklers, but I know the three other comics performing and they are definitely not playful with hecklers. We met the sister and her friends beforehand and went to the club. The first comic was A Lady I Know and she was killing it that night. Now, she's by no means a pretty woman, so the girls started making sly comments to each other about it until I told them to cut it out and they did. I then went backstage to the green room, but from the little bits I saw and heard, they

were on fairly good behavior. Then My Set Happened. The first 6 or 7 minutes started out really well. But from the little bits I saw and heard, they were on fairly good behavior. Then my set happened. The first 6 or 7 minutes started out really well. The crowd was great and I felt in the zone. I then started working through a bit about North Face being tacky and this proved to be the catalyst for the sister and her friends. They started talking loudly in the back, to which I told them to stop. I looked to my girlfriend, hoping that she would provide some silent reinforcements.

Those reinforcements never came. About two minutes later, I was working through a piece about being hairy, to which the sister made a comment. At this point, I noticed that she and her friends had put back quite a few drinks, so basically I started making fun of them

for being sloppy drunks. That shut them up for a little bit. I then had a joke about my mom, to which the little sister basically made a loud comment about my mom being a slut. She threw her third pitch, so I choked up on the bat and began to swing away like Joaquin Phoenix in a room full of Marvin the Martians. I called her out for being a petulant rich girl, made fun of her appearance, and… oh jeez. And ended

up calling her… okay guys. I'm gonna quote this because if I don't quote it you won't be able to understand the joke. CUNT DRUNKULA The crowd was really into it, so I was eventually able to cut off the set with some grays, but I was livid. When the crowd left and the lights went up, the sister came up to me and started getting in my face. I walked back to the green room and asked lights went up, the sister came up to me and started getting in my face. I walked back to the green room and asked the bouncer to take care of it, and she eventually left with her friends.

When I saw my girlfriend afterwards, she seemed a little upset. I told her I was furious that she didn't help me out with controlling her sister. She asked why I got so upset when the set was going so well. I told her that even though my set was going well, if a heckler catches me on a night when I'm not in my game, it messes up my entire performance. We eventually cut the conversation and drove home. The next day, my girlfriend's sister left a message for my girlfriend in tears about how the night went. She was upset about the things I said and wanted an apology. I told my girlfriend that was not going to happen and I deserved an apology.

Even though the sister doesn't view what I do as a job, this is my livelihood. If I pulled a similarly disruptive stunt in someone else's place of work, I would likely be arrested. My girlfriend did not take to this well and she hasn't talked to me for the last two days besides small talk at dinner. I think she may be upset about the rich girl comments that I made to her sister. To be honest, I do get a little resentful when I hear the stories of my girlfriend's life of affluence growing up, but I never bring this up to her, and I never try to make

her feel pity for the way that I grew up. Then three days later, OP posted an update. On Monday, I was returning back to my apartment after doing a spot for a radio station. As I walked back in, I saw that my girlfriend's dad was there and wanting to talk to me. He had stopped by to say hello to my girlfriend, but apparently his real reason for stopping by was to talk to me. He's normally a pretty even-keeled guy, but he was definitely miffed that day. Basically, he wanted to talk to me about what went down at the comedy club the previous week. We sat down in the dining room and I could tell this discussion would be a long one.

My girlfriend's sister told him about the show and he was justifiably upset that I called his daughter a grunt. I stayed cool and just told him that I wasn't saying it to intentionally hurt his daughter's feeling. I was simply trying to get back control of the show and the audience. He kept going on about how awful that was, and it sounded like he didn't get the whole story from his daughter. I asked him if I could give my side of the story just so he had some frame of reference,

and he let me. I told him about her interrupting and heckling numerous times after my initial concerns. I said that I did get carried away with my choice of words, but I had to do that in order to keep the crowd. It's not an excuse, this is just where I'm coming from. He wasn't as upset, but he was still angry. He started hounding me about my line of work and what kind of job I have that makes you call people that.

Now, I think his line of questions stem from some deep negative feelings about my career as a comic. I told him, I get it, it's not the most traditional or stable job. My girlfriend went to a very prestigious university and her friends are getting married to doctors, lawyers, and executives and have loving families. It seems that my girlfriend's father thought that I just performed some stand up every now and then and then just farted around all day. I told him about what I really do and how I prepare.

I spend a lot of time writing for magazines, newspapers, doing comedy spots at radio stations and doing comedy and improv lessons. If I'm not doing that, I'm writing my own jokes or a myriad of other performance related tasks. After that, he seemed to back off a bunch, but he was still pretty upset about the… C-word, druncula comments. I explained that the remark was definitely heavy-handed, but it wouldn't have been said

if there was no heckling in the first place. I also explained that I'd be getting in contact with the sister soon to talk about the events of that evening. He seemed to like that course of action and left shortly afterwards. After this, my girlfriend and I got a chance to talk about the evening at the comedy club. I said that I am sorry for going nuclear on her sister. She said that she wasn't mad about that, or even about the use of the word grunt, but instead, the negative comments that I made about her sister being a rich girl. She wanted to know if I felt the same way about her. I told her that,

while I do seem to have an inferiority complex when it comes to people from wealthy backgrounds, I view her as the woman that I love, not Cruella DeVille. I also apologized if my comments made her feel undervalued. That was not my intent. She asked me some more specifics about my upbringing and I told her a little more in detail. She asked me if I thought about counseling to work through some of these issues and I said that I'd be down for that. I scheduled a few appointments in the upcoming weeks. If I can get the counselor to laugh, that's a win for me. She apologized for not getting her sister to be quiet during the set. She said the whole thing seemed like a nightmare, and she kind of froze up when her sister started

yelling. I told her that I accepted her apology, and I offered to meet with her sister soon to go over the events of the evening. She seemed happy about this and this weekend we'll be meeting her sister over lunch. Then two months later, OP posted an update. When I last left off, I was meeting my girlfriend's sister at a restaurant. So my girlfriend and I met up in the parking lot of this restaurant. We make our way to the restaurant and sit down where the sister is already waiting.

We sit down and attempt to make some small talk, but she's noticeably upset. As we're looking through the menu, her father comes into the restaurant and sits down at our table. This caught me way off guard. We sit awkwardly for about five minutes until I eventually say, alright, let's get this out on the table. Look, sister, the other night I called you a name that was pretty harsh. I am sorry that your feelings got hurt, but you heckled me during my set.

This is extremely rude. This would be like if I came to your job and started throwing around your materials while you were working. I was going to ask her for an apology until my girlfriend's dad piped up and said, Are you not even going to apologize? I looked at my girlfriend, who was kind of shying away from the whole scene, and looked back at him and said, no, I'm not. That set was a huge opportunity for me, and if she had thrown me off my game, it could have seriously messed up my career. The sister began to talk about how embarrassed I made her in front of her friends and how the

C-word was so offensive. At this point, my girlfriend also said, yeah, you didn't have to be that rude, to me. I was flabbergasted. I thought she was gonna back me up on this. I thought that we'd agreed about how awful her sister's behavior was. For the next 10 minutes or so, I was somewhat speechless, which for me is a rarity.

As the three of them told me how out of line I was, my girlfriend wasn't super vocal, but she still jumped in occasionally. It got to a point where I eventually said, this is ridiculous. I didn't come here to be lectured, I'm leaving. I left the restaurant and drove home. My girlfriend called me from the restaurant and tried to get me to come back. I said, there is no way I'm going back into that lion's den.

I want to talk about this when you get back home. About an hour later, she arrived at my apartment. I asked her, what the hell was that? She went on to tell me that when she talked to her sister and parents, she realized that what I said was really mean and I should have been more apologetic. I thought there was an understanding all around, but I was way wrong. We've never had any big time disagreements or discussions, but that night we had it out.

I guess she was beginning to feel some pretty big resentment about my career. She had just gotten a promotion recently, and she said that she lied to her coworkers about my job to not feel embarrassed. This blew me away. I asked her straight up, do I embarrass you? And she said, yes. At that point, I grabbed my things and left for my friend's house. I was too upset to stay that evening. I went back two days later, and for

the next week or so, we barely talked. Then, one evening, she asked to talk to me. She said, Look, I think that I've come to the realization that we're two wildly different people, and I don't think that we can reconcile that. I think it'd be best if we broke up. I first thought was to say no, but as I began to think about it more, she was right. I wasn't exactly what she was looking for and I don't want to be with someone that feels embarrassed around me. I spent the next two weeks looking for a place and moved out. The whole thing went down really civilly. She gave me time to get my things in order. I'm not mad at her. She has every right to not date me. I hope she's not mad at me, but if she is, oh well. And OP is prophetic. At the very beginning of the post, he described the terrible rich people that the sister reminds him of, of the spoiled, rotten, entitled people

who look down on everyone else and think everyone else should cater to their needs. And as the story unfolded, it turns out it's not just the sister who thinks that way, it's the entire family. Somehow, no one in that family thought the sister had any responsibility. Not the sister, not the girlfriend, not the father. Nope, it's 100% OP's fault. I mean, I will agree that OP went really hard on her. That is, I could see how that would lead to some hurt feelings.

But come on, who goes to a comedy club and then gets angry about the jokes after you heckle the comedian? What do you expect? You have to assume that if you heckle a comedian, they're gonna fire back, right? That's how it works. I guess, actually. She probably doesn't know that because she's probably never faced consequences for her entire life.

Well, good luck with your career, OP. In a perfect world, you hit it big and you become a multi-millionaire TV star. And then, for the rest of your ex-girlfriend's life, every time your face shows up on a billboard or on a TV screen, she has to have an angry argument with her ex-boyfriend who's jealous about the funny guy that she used to date. That was our slash best of Redditor updates and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.